Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello all

Basically I'm a cis male and my partner is pre-bottom surgery ftm who is on testosterone.

I'm aware that testosterone isn't a contraceptive. I want to use contraceptives but he doesn't, because he says it takes away the connection and feel of us. Or that it is silly to because he has been on T for so long that the chance is severely reduced.

We aren't worried about STI risk as we've been together a while. But I'm very worried about potential pregnancy risks.

He currently doesn't want a hysto and we are looking for some ideas for (non-permanent!) contraception. Has anything worked for you?

Condoms apparently kill the mood
The Pill = Further hormones = not good

Any advice?

IUD or diaphragm?

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Thanks for the suggestion, but I don't know if he would with those :/ 

Is it morally ok to ask him to put something inside of him such as a diaphragm or get something put inside such as an IUD.  It's apparently uncomfortable in insertion and (I don't mean to assume, but) from the perspective of an FTM trans guy, having a doctor / nurse put something in your front cant be good for dysphoria etc. I just worry.

Quote from: The_SeeJay on January 05, 2017, 09:46:23 AM
Is it morally ok to ask him to put something inside of him such as a diaphragm or get something put inside such as an IUD.

I think it is morally the right thing to do to consider all the available options for contraception.  How much more dysphoric would he find an unplanned pregnancy?  The two of you should be discussing all the options, with their pros and cons. 

Relying on T as a contraceptive is unreliable.  It reminds me of the old joke about what do you call couples who rely on the rhythm method of birth control?  Parents!

The_SeeJay, I have a couple of comments, T in itself is not a contraceptive which you are well aware of.  After one has been on T for some time, 3-5 yrs for many dr, they say one needs to consider a hysterectomy, is there some reason he doesn't want one, most guys do after they are on t for some time.  Break through bleeding occurs in many guys after a time on T.  Most guys want no part of something like an IUD or diaphragm where you have to see a dr to get fitted or examed. Guys want as little as possible to do with any handling of those parts down there.  You two need to have a serious discussion about how he see these parts and what he wants to do about making sure he doesn't get pregnant which is probably the worst thing to happen for him.  You must insist that if he wants to have PV relations something must be done so he doesn't get pregnant.

Considering there are at least two FTM pregnancies that I've heard of, use protection.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2011/10/31/pregnant-man-thomas-beatie-may-stop-at-3-kids/

Thank you for your comments. I'm not sure how he feels, but I think he might potentially want to keep his options open and not have a hysto, so he could potentially have a biological kid in the future. This does worry me as, as much as I care about him, I am no way ready to be a father.

Depo provera shots or a non-hormonal IUD would be your best bet.

I suppose there's IUD or diaphragm, although the latter might kill the mood if condoms do. Some suggest progesterone only pills which I have experience with, but not for the purposes of contraception - they warn it's not reliable for that, but it is possible to keep female cycles in stasis with it while on T. Not really recommended though

I believe Depo is a progesterone-based shot that works as well

The risk is there; better to be safe than sorry for a few moments of enjoyment, imo...

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