Susan's Place Transgender Resources

There is a group for transfolks (on meetup) that I've been interested in attending.  I haven't gone yet because I am not out yet and I am concerned about going to the group and discussing being trans in public.  I would attend presenting as male (not as female which is how I i.d.) but its just the idea that I'd be outing myself publicly.  Any thoughts from anyone on this, any advice?  Their next meeting is in a few weeks and part of me wants to go and see what it is like and maybe have some IRL people I can talk with and maybe be more of myself around.  Part of me is like, f-that its too risky.

On my own journey I've tried to balance between moving at a comfortable pace that feels safe, but then sometimes putting myself into slightly uncomfortable situations, because that's how we grow and learn about ourselves. I don't know your situation and the risks of being outed, but in the group I go to everyone is very aware that many members privacy is of great importance. Only you can know when you're ready for that next step.

The first time I ever went to a support group, I went in drab -- everyone was completely accepting.  It's pretty common when you're first starting out.  :)

LOL,

I have been to a meeting but gay and bi group and they were open and i liked it.
I would say i feel that iam half woman half man, but there are a lot of close minded people, that are against everything, how ppl should dress , wear, in what age, bla bla bla, some are against surgery because they want to discourage others and some are against everything, speak their minds, i mean like a moral police control,
it is true that there very few open minded ppl, usually open minded ppl are never ever ever
telling others how to dress, how to behave, what age, morality and what to plan or not to plan.
I have never met so many open minded individuals, very few who do not interfere with others lives at all. And this is something why, i dis the idea, that i should stumble with ppl, that drains me with their close minded ideas and morality.

I prefer the one to one meeting of a special person , when it exceeds the like, as for groups, no, esp, if there will be close minds out there.

I would suggest talking to the organizers to get a feel for how the group runs.  Most groups have a committment to confidentiality and a concern for members' safety.

Before I started going to a support group, I talked to the organizers.  I learned that they would be fine with me attending in boy mode, that they have a gender-neutral washroom, etc.  When I attended my first meeting, no one had a problem with me presenting male but identifying as Kathy.  As I continued to attend, I shifted my presentation first to androgynous, then to full femme.  There is a new member since I joined who is doing the same thing.

You owe it to yourself to at least check them out.  Push a little bit outside your comfort zone, because that's how we grow.  If you don't like the way they operate, you don't have to stay.

When I came out 17 yrs ago my wife found us a group to attend and I went dressed and the group freaked out for I looked like a natural female and that set me at ease and had loads of fun. We went for a few yrs helped the group to grow and watched it die because of issues due to outside influences coming into the group and pissed off a lot of excepting wives.

How far away from home?  How big is the area, population wise... Etc. 
I live 30 miles from Chicago.  I found a group that was mostly LGB.  I went a few times as Dan.  Then switched to Denise.  But, whoops, they thought I was cross dressing since I signed in as Dan still.  Changed that real quick and everyone is excited for me. 

So moral of the story is find a comfortable group not in you local sphere of contract's. Go, you will be nervous, the world won't end, the sky won't fall.  You may even make some new friends.  What you won't get is new enemies.

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Thank you all for the responses.  Its given me a lot to think about, perhaps I'll find the courage.

My support group does not give a rat's ass how you present when you show up. The entire purpose of our group  is mutual support. Not everyone is, or can be expected to be, at a point in their life when they can present as they wish. We know because we've all been there, for many many many years.

support groups are usually very cautious if they dont know who you are yet, as policy those I know of meet candidates one on one before giving adresses and group details. I think thats good to do given the world we live in but generally they are good bc they give those not full time yet (maybe just liking once in a while) to get dressed and go to socials, dinner out at restaurants, parties bbqs ect.. thats if you feel comfortable plus mutual support and resources to dr.s for HRT, therapists ect...  Some come with their significant others! Partners and spouses are encouraged to participate!


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Kass,
   My opinion! Do yourself a favor and go, however you present. Your fear will never disappear. You have to do it while you are afraid. You will know so much more after you go. If you don't go, you will deal with regret, fear still, and anxiety for not taking a step to go forward. Stand up for the real you.
Monica

 also I think we can always use as much support as possible when we are in transition, judgements are usually frowned upon bc everyones dealing with their own situation and it lets you know (like here) that your not alone! [emoji177]


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When I first went to group I was in male work clothing, I was coming after work and my therapist. Many people start going to group and not expressing.

Eventually I changed after my therapist when I started going to the gym. Then I came out at work and came in female work cloths or I bring jeans and a top.

How you attend group is not important. What is important is to go to group and make friend and learn as much as you can. I found out so much about events and other groups and get togethers and where to buy cloths and much more.