Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey ladies,

So lately I've been thinking about names. I meet with a friend that suggested I think about a name that starts with the letter of the name I use now.

Currently, I go by Clark. Right now I have been going by Alora. However, when she mentioned this to me it sorta made sense. The more I thought about it the more I've been thinking Alora isn't really supposed to be my new name.

My birth name was Joshua. The only thing I've liked about it is that it could be shortened. There really isn't a way to shorten Alora. I have been think about going with Kaylin Alora Clarke.

With Kaylin as a first name I could also go by Kay to my very close intimate friends or partner.

Has anyone else gone through this kind of name dilemma?

Loves [emoji182][emoji173][emoji182]


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I have a boy name I use when I'm at work, my friends call me by my last name, and a girl name that I only use in trans healthcare contexts. Once I go full time at work I hope to use the girl name everywhere.

My friend just named me... I went back and forth with it and eventually nothing else made sense. And 4 separate friends separated by time zones all called me by the same name without any prompting or knowledge of what anyone else said... so I kept it.

And not much I can do on a variation of my birth name... or middle name. Or with the first letter of my name/middle name. Having a large family, I would have an issue taking someone else's name in the family. Other than my sir name, I had to start from scratch...

Quote from: Harley Quinn on January 08, 2017, 05:39:35 PM
My friend just named me... I went back and forth with it and eventually nothing else made sense. And 4 separate friends separated by time zones all called me by the same name without any prompting or knowledge of what anyone else said... so I kept it.

Now that is really cool.  They all must have seen something in you that demanded that name.  Impressive.

I was lazy.  I dropped from using my name on everything to my initials a while ago.  This may have been in the back of my mind.

When I came out, the feminized version of my old florist name just sounded right.  I used some of those 'meanings of names' web sites to explore a variety of first and middle names with the same initials, stuck with Michelle for the first name, and picked a middle name that I liked the meaning of, and how it sounded in my new full name.

Not a lady, but my only criteria was that I wanted to keep my first and middle initials the same. So I went on one of the baby name websites, sorted by my birth year, and just looked at those letters. Made a list of all the names I liked and variations of them, then played with combinations. It was at most I think a dozen first names and a dozen middle names that I was playing around with. I didn't ask anybody to use a new name until I settled on one.

Went through one to get to mine...the name my parents gave me to Kaity.  Legally, Katherine and I usually go by Kat at work.

I never liked the feminized version of my boy name, so I went with a name that fit me and had personal meaning for me.  I figure it is the one and only time I can actually do it, so I had better make it good.  I think I did alright.

-Sarah :)

I basically created my name what felt  right to me and sounded like it would fit my personality. The womens version of my male name sounds too european to me.

It's worth considering the names that were popular when you were born. Everybody wants to be a Kaitlyn or Addysen but Mary or Ann may be more appropriate depending on your age.

just used my birth name

I didn't have a feminine name in mind when I signed up, so I chose my username as variations on my male names.  My wife kept suggesting girl names for me, some of them fairly outlandish, but none of them resonated with me.  The more of her suggestions I rejected, the more I felt like a Kathy. 

It has the advantage of being age-appropriate for my generation.  And it keeps my initials the same.

So I guess I went with my first choice.

I had a really easy time.... the Moment I had the thought I should have a girls name Sarah popped into my head. I have always liked girls names that start with S. Then same thing for middle name I thought "oh maybe I should have a middle name too" And I thought Elizabeth.  At that point I wasn't sure I would be transitioning. It was just to go with my Feminine persona I was beginning to explore. I tried to think it over but it stuck. I think deep down I knew and all it took was for me to realize it.

Quote from: SarahElizabeth1981 on January 08, 2017, 07:51:41 PM
the Moment I had the thought I should have a girls name Sarah popped into my head.

Good choice :)

I was blessed my mom named me a boys name that interchanges with a girls name I loved..my wife prefers to use my middle name.

I've been going by Terra for 3 or 4 years now.  It was the name my parents had chosen for me prior to my birth, having been expecting a daughter.  When I finally got around to having my name / gender legally changed this past summer I decided to make Terra my middle name and Keyli my first name.  I like the name Keyli and it starts with the same letter as my former name.  I had also been considering Kira or Karen, but Keyli pulled through because to sign it, it's almost identical to writing my former name.

I wanted to have a name that was associated with my x chromosome which is Irish.
I like the name Siobahn which is pronounced shevahn. But it sounded more feminine than I thought I could pull off at the time.  Then while researching I discovered that it's English equivalent is Jane.  That had enough of an androgynous sound to it that I figured it would work.  Jane Emily is merely my nom de plume.

As an aside, my nickname in college was Junior.  Looking back it was a pretty clear way for the other males to emasculate me.  I never fit in as a male and that was just more evidence of that.

I hadn't really given it a lot of thought until I started taking positive actions toward my transition in the last year or so.  I juggled 3 or 4, settling on "Elle," which I was starting to use up until my wife visited her family and reminded me that her brother goes by "El."  So I decided on "Erin," which hadn't even been on the original short list.  In response to your original question, I guess two. 

Erin

Im from a french family and I didn't mind my birth name, it had the same phonetics in either gender in french but not in english plus their were those english speaking folks that liked using the short version which was clearly male otherwise I think I would've kept it but change the spelling so it couldn't be mispronounced in either language! I chose Julie , it was bilingual, I still prefer it pronounced in the proper french though opposed to the english pronunciation!   


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I needed a name that wasn't related to my birth name.  Couldn't bear having any form of it invoked ever again.

Funny thing about names... they aren't real.  Oh sure, there are legal rituals involved, but they're just rituals.  We just use names to distinguish people.  Names are just stories.  So pick a good one.  Pick a name that's like a promise to yourself. 

I've always had a thing for names. I have now gone by... five, no, six different names -- no, wait, is that right?  (Counts on fingers).  Depends on whether variations count.  Okay, let's see... oh, and then there's that one, too... lemme get the toes out... okay eleven (nope, twelve) different names (three before transition, three during, and six afterwards) and of the back nine at least two have had at least three additional variations.  That's not including names used during play, I'm talking about names I've either introduced myself as, or names bequeathed to me in person for purposes of repeated identification. 

And that's not counting middle names.

I guess I have a lot of promises to keep.

Sophia, your post made me think a bit, I too am known by so many names ( or have been known by many).

I went to my 30th high school reunion this past summer.  It is my second I had attended post transition.  And it is still weird hearing my old name, since now the only people who really remember me before were the people that I went to school with and my family.  And only those who just learned of my transition ask me about it and would occasionally use my old name.  Not in a bad or mean way, but more of that "I am trying to understand" way.  Then there are those who still use my old nickname, which admittedly I still occasionally use, as it is a variant on my last name.  It is still one of my favorite nicknames, although I rarely use it anymore.  Which brings me to by derby name.  If you all were not aware, most people who play roller derby adopt a skater name. Mine is Bad Wolf, and pretty much everyone knows me as Wolfie or just Wolf. 

So are names can be fluid and can change over time.  When I get back from Yeson, I am thinking of posting some YouTube videos, sort of like what a few others have done.  Again with this, I will probably not use my everyday name, but yet other name only a few people know me as.  I like the ritual aspect of a name, but I also like the fluidic nature they have throughout our lives.  :)

-Sarah (yeah, really my name)

p.s. - InaraSarah was one of my gamer tags, still kinda is.

Bad Wolf, huh?

Names...

We take the words and scatter them across time and space. A message to lead ourselves to ourselves.  I believe that when we die, we can see all of time and space, every single atom our lives flashes before your eyes, a leaf on the wind, for everything comes to dust, all things, everything dies... Which is why I like this idea of the name as a promise. A promise to ourselves, so we can remember... after we let go, when we're dismembered... a process that might better be named anamnesis.  There's a serenity to that. 

Anyways, I don't think I could go back to a high school reunions, not that ever did before transition, but I certainly won't afterwards.  I recall, just coming out of transition at the turn of the century and reading the experience of Dr Becky Allison back in the day, such a positive experience she had of going to her own class reunion.  Even in the ideal scenario (in the sense of what could happen in the real world) I don't think I could do it.  Not to say it's an idea I don't play around with. 

I like to imagine joining the catering staff as a waitress, and flitting from table to table to hear about how people's lives have gone since I saw them all that time ago.  Some good people.  The only way I'd be recognized, I hope, is through my spirit.  Alas, I suspect that's only for the evangelion of the final homecoming. 

In the meantime (oh that's an interesting word to parse) I don't think they'd wonder why I wasn't there, but I have no idea if the story of my life has made it to their plates.  I wouldn't want to stoke that story, and have it spread like wildfire; I don't want to be haunted by smoke.  And I don't want to raise the dead, to resurrect the ghost of who I was, at least in the eyes of the people who knew me in the before-times, for that spectre wasn't the real me.  I dunno, I play around with the idea and it always leads back to dysphoria.  So I have to let it go, and look onwards onwards onwards. 

I have to follow my bliss, and alas, my bliss is not in the past.

Not yet.

So I will be Sophia, or at least... I will try. Promise.

I've been dead set on mine since childhood.

Alora,
   I don't know why you would limit your choice of a name to the same beginning letter. You needlessly eliminate some great possibilities. If I had to pick another name, I would start with letters of the alphabet I like (like M) and check out a baby name book or try  a google search. For me, I wanted a name that wasn't unheard of but still one where there wouldn't be 5 others with the same name in a group of 30. Most everyone I know call me "Moni" but if I meet someone I don't know I say "Monica" so I don't have to spell it for them. Its funny, people "get" "Connie", "Bonnie", "Ronnie" but get lost on "Moni." I  would say don't stress, enjoy the process. You most likely only will do it once.
Moni

I feel fortunate in that I have only used three names plus a few variations thereof; four if you count the one given at birth.
Initially I used my given middle name (a paternal family name) which is one of very few that is carried by both men and women and can either be a first or a last name.
For a while I went by Elizabeth, the name given me by a sympathic neighbor who caught me dressed with poorly applied make-up. Angela and I spent hours together as she showed me how it should be done.
I came out to the lady who would be my bride early in our relationship. I loved her deeply and did not want to jolt her but feared my crossdressing (oh, how I foolishly thought that was all it was) could be a deal breaker. I needed not to have worried, however because she embraced all of me - with one exception. She said my name had to go and christened me Susan. And Susan it remains.

Susan

Only two, not counting my male name. My mom was going to name me Penelope. She was certain she was having a girl! (Surprise!). She never even picked out a boy's name. Lol. My brother named me.

But then I used the name Raven since the late 80s. So I was undecided which name I would want to use. But recently I decided to use Penelope. I'll keep Raven as a middle name.

I have no interest in retaining my initials, and I might even change my last name. Just for effect.  lol.




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Quote from: Alora on January 08, 2017, 05:22:24 PM
Hey ladies,

So lately I've been thinking about names. I meet with a friend that suggested I think about a name that starts with the letter of the name I use now.

Currently, I go by Clark. Right now I have been going by Alora. However, when she mentioned this to me it sorta made sense. The more I thought about it the more I've been thinking Alora isn't really supposed to be my new name.

My birth name was Joshua. The only thing I've liked about it is that it could be shortened. There really isn't a way to shorten Alora. I have been think about going with Kaylin Alora Clarke.

With Kaylin as a first name I could also go by Kay to my very close intimate friends or partner.

Has anyone else gone through this kind of name dilemma?

Loves [emoji182][emoji173][emoji182]


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I'm not a lady but i'm man
And yes, my birth name was actually very feminine but could be shortened into a masculine way
i loved the shortened version the only reason why i changed my name was because it reminded me of the past.
Although the shortened version of my name i have nothing agents and i think it can be a wonderful name i liked it for a short time myself before things just reminded me of my past more often then not.
I wanted a name that started with S which would have been like my birth name but i couldn't find anything i liked and i was looking for months nothing felt like it fit me and i didn't feel a connection to the names i found with S so i moved away from that idea and went onto other names even though i didn't want to but it ended up alright.
I first started with a couple names it was so constant at first people where probably getting annoyed with me about changing my name so often but i didn't care, i just wanted to figure out what i was comfortable with for a name.
I used around 4-5 names before i found the name i use outside of the internet and that is Tristan and so far iv'e stuck with this name and haven't gone backwards. Although i still think i'm going to try and find a middle name with the letter S so i can have some connection to the old name because i didn't think it was horrible.   

One.

Albeit with an important caveat; namely that my Mum and grandmother once told me in passing what my name would have been if I was born a girl, and it just so happened that I liked it. :)

Other than my transition name change , I did use what we witches call a magical name, a name we choose to best represent the essence of our spiritual self, its a power name and its only used within our coven, in between other witches and in ritual where we invoke it in our spell casting in communicating with Goddess and God!


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I am blessed with an already feminine name so I am keeping it.  My parents expected a girl so their gift to me was what they thought was an appropriate name for a male but in reality, is more of a girls' name.

I did go through a few names, but spaced through about 40 years.

I remember having a discussion with my family: Mom, Dad, two sisters and two brothers when I was about nine or ten.  The topic of what name my parents would have given each of us if we had been born a different gender.  I was very interested in knowing since I was well aware of my gender conflict at this time.  When it came to my turn, my mom told me that she would have named me Kathy if I was born a girl.

I thought about that for a few years, but it never felt right.  When I was 13 and playing D&D back in the mid-70's, I had two Player Character's that I played under: Anela and Nieha.  During about the same time, I had a friend who's name was Lisa and she was the only person that truly understood me, and we spent most of the summer of 77 together.  Years later, I wanted to give myself a feminine name and Lisa was the first one that came to me and I went by that name for about 10 years.

In my 30's, I was going through my old records and found my D&D stuff, and after some thought, decided to name myself Anela as my first and Nieha as my last and that stayed till about 5 years ago.

I had decided that my name Anela Nieha, was too exotic and I just wanted to live a normal "Plan Jane" life.  I remembered Lisa, but it didn't sound right.  Also I remembered having a boyfriend that used to tell me that I looked more like a Kathy then a Lisa.  Wow, that's the name my mom would have called me if I was born a genetic girl.  Maybe it was a sign.  I really didn't like Kathy, and thought that Katherine sounded better.  So that's the name I chose, which I also used when I legally changed it.  years later, as friends tended to call me Katie for short and that's where I am today.

So, I think that choosing a name, to me, is so much more personal when it comes from your own personal history.

Katie

I use my birth name at work where I am still presenting as male.  Tara at my Dr's, therapist's, and electrolysis office.  When I meet new people (I moved across state a year ago and haven't really met new people yet) I say I'm TJ.  It feels better than my birth name but still isn't blatantly female since I am still presenting as male. 

The name my parents would have given a girl wasn't very appealing to me, so I had a look at my family tree.

My grandmother, my great-grandmother and a few more of my ancestors where named Theresia. I just dropped the i to give it a slightly more modern touch.

It clicked an I really love my name.

I can still use my shortened signature and also my initials. 
How convenient is that. ;)

Last but not least, I was always very interested in history and on of Austria's most prominent rulers had Theresia as her second name.

Frederick the Great - King of Prussia once wrote about her:

That woman's achievements are those of a great man.

I don't want to conquer new lands (don't worry) but I will conquer my transness, my situation, my life and I will emerge victorious from this struggle.

I will not give up and my name is also a constant reminder of the promise I made to myself.

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Thanks everyone. You've all shared such great stories and really helped me understand that being fluid with choosing a name is important.

I'm going to play with Kaylin and the shortened version Kay and see how I like them.

Love you all [emoji182][emoji173][emoji182]


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Quote from: bluepaint on January 10, 2017, 01:40:48 AM
Other than my transition name change , I did use what we witches call a magical name, a name we choose to best represent the essence of our spiritual self, its a power name and its only used within our coven, in between other witches and in ritual where we invoke it in our spell casting in communicating with Goddess and God!

Merry meet!  That's where my name here originated. It's my witch's name. :)

I'm not a member of a coven. So it's just been my name for a long time.

Quote from: RavenMoon on January 11, 2017, 07:11:46 PM
Merry meet!  That's where my name here originated. It's my witch's name. :)

I'm not a member of a coven. So it's just been my name for a long time.

I love your name, It is very "witchy" :)  Witch names are a great way to invoke our witch selves that lie dormant within us!  Our witch selves that are better in shielding off bad, negative energies sent to hurt us and creating barriers against them, a more purified powerful us, our true selves really but distilled from the day to day woman!
Merry meet as well RavenMoon and blessed be! [emoji177] Julie!


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Quote from: bluepaint on January 11, 2017, 09:01:29 PM
I love your name, It is very "witchy" :)  Witch names are a great way to invoke our witch selves that lie dormant within us!  Our witch selves that are better in shielding off bad, negative energies sent to hurt us and creating barriers against them, a more purified powerful us, our true selves really but distilled from the day to day woman!
Merry meet as well RavenMoon and blessed be! [emoji177] Julie!

Blessed be Julie!

Interestingly I'm not even sure where this name came from. It just came to me one day with very little thought involved.

It chose me. [emoji3]


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Quote from: bluepaint on January 11, 2017, 09:01:29 PMWitch names are a great way to invoke our witch selves that lie dormant within us!  Our witch selves that are better in shielding off bad, negative energies sent to hurt us and creating barriers against them, a more purified powerful us, our true selves really but distilled from the day to day woman!

"If that which which you seek you find not within yourself, you shall never find it without... for behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am that which is attained at the end of desire."

--Aunt Doreen

Hey Hon

My given name can be either male or female ( Don or Dawn ) but wanted a name that was based closer to my personality so I went with Niki Marie Knight. Im a very out going individual so I felt the name stated that. It also sounds much better in the type of job I now do where I'm in the public eye. Im moving forward this year changing DL, Passport, Nexus card Etc. I can't wait to make everything official and its just another positive step in the transition process.

Between my first transition and the transition that I went all the way with I only went through exactly one first name and that is the name I kept in the end. I decided on the Mariah in the first place and never looked back. Hugs
Mariah