Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm wondering if I'm regretting (socially) detransition, but I'm not quite sure. I had no gender dysphoria for a couple of months, but now I believes it comes back. I've no idea why it's happening to me or what's going on. I admit I wished I wasn't tg and would rather be cis. I thought it was just a phase since I suddenly hadn't any dysphoria about my body and felt comfortable being feminine. Now I starts going back and wishing having a male body since it's what feels most right now. Not sure if I'm tg or just genderfluid since this happen. But time would show. :/

My experience exactly.  My dysphoria manifests as anger.  I almost lost everything I've worked for.  Don't let that happen.  Talk to a therapist, please.

I'm my case I started HRT, stopped, restarted 3 months later.  Today I understand it's not a choice.  If I want to live at all, this is my only option.  It has opened my eyes and I accept it unconditionally now.  Kinda like having cancer (but different I know). Once I accepted it I'm actually liking it.  Okay I could do without needing to buy a whole wardrobe.

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Quote from: Denise on January 09, 2017, 02:19:10 PM
  Okay I could do without needing to buy a whole wardrobe.

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Me too. Have a foot fetish. love, love, love shoes and boots. Love em, can't fit them. I love younger style clothes too. Something about wanting to be shallow and think that once upon a time could have been a supermodel, Now who's being delusional? But really my body, now that I lost 80 lbs is quite proportional just tall.



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What does a foot fetish have to do with a wardrobe :)? and yes i kinda go there, tho in my case i dont feel rather comfortable with masculinity, its just when i explore feminity i get the ''wtf'' moemnts and run... only to crawl back as i dont like being masculine xD

Quote from: Sebby Michelango on January 09, 2017, 01:59:24 PM
I'm wondering if I'm regretting (socially) detransition, but I'm not quite sure. I had no gender dysphoria for a couple of months, but now I believes it comes back. I've no idea why it's happening to me or what's going on. I admit I wished I wasn't tg and would rather be cis. I thought it was just a phase since I suddenly hadn't any dysphoria about my body and felt comfortable being feminine. Now I starts going back and wishing having a male body since it's what feels most right now. Not sure if I'm tg or just genderfluid since this happen. But time would show. :/

Part of it may be what I call "WTF Am I Doing ???" syndrome that I've seen in myself time and time again. Life is going along great now so.... Why?  I got this beat! I mean hands down, face down, in the mud, beat! Why explode my life, my world, and those I love?

I found it's far easier to say I have no dysphoria when I see the new me in a mirror inside a Body I can live in. Sure, I am still 6ft tall, still bald, still a deep voiced radio announcer type , and BIG everything else.... And then there are the days.....weeks....

I found some solace in telling myself I am "Non-Binary". It appeals to the engineering side of me since it reflects the reality of my life TODAY. Sure, I've been on HRT for years, have a B cup. lived part-time as female but.... 

But other factors do preclude me being able to Today change teams. Like a wife, A totally fun career, obligations, responsibilities all that I need to fulfill.

No MATTER how Many Times I wished I could and the 3-4 decades I did try to tell myself "I am not TG"... If you expend that much energy there must be a reason why. I learned the reason why. I am, I was, likely odds on favorite at age 60, always will be.  No Matter how badly I wish I weren't

Life sucks and then you die  :o

BTW - I am on the other side of this dilemma. I lived PT as female for while and now live and present primarily as male (most times). Not quite "detransitioned"... reversed course in some ways. Now more then ever WHY? Why am I even bothering to do.....?

Is "To Survive" enough? To do the Right thing?

Is "The Right Thing"  equal to "What Is Expected", my hot button issue after 40-50 years of doing what I thought was expected?

If my life wasn't as complicated as it as... Now I'm really dreaming

when I was 40 I told myself I was cured.I threw out everything got a job and for 20 years I was cured. Guess what ?

You could have felt no dysphoria due to people calling you by your masculine name or pronouns. Maybe that's all you need as far as transitioning goes. Not all trans people want to or feel that need to medically transition.

For me I enjoy presenting feminine much more than masculine and each time I wear a typical woman's piece of clothing; I feel like I shouldn't be doing that. But then I think back to how miserable I was living as female and how I simply feel hugely more comfortable in a typical masculine type body than a typical female one. And my physical and social dysphoria was too much to cope with pre T. No way was I happy looking fem before T bcos people called me a 'pretty girl'. When I'd much rather be called a pretty boy.

Quote from: JoanneB on January 09, 2017, 08:05:17 PM
Part of it may be what I call "WTF Am I Doing ???" syndrome that I've seen in myself time and time again. Life is going along great now so.... Why?  I got this beat! I mean hands down, face down, in the mud, beat! Why explode my life, my world, and those I love?

I found it's far easier to say I have no dysphoria when I see the new me in a mirror inside a Body I can live in. Sure, I am still 6ft tall, still bald, still a deep voiced radio announcer type , and BIG everything else.... And then there are the days.....weeks....

I found some solace in telling myself I am "Non-Binary". It appeals to the engineering side of me since it reflects the reality of my life TODAY. Sure, I've been on HRT for years, have a B cup. lived part-time as female but.... 

But other factors do preclude me being able to Today change teams. Like a wife, A totally fun career, obligations, responsibilities all that I need to fulfill.

No MATTER how Many Times I wished I could and the 3-4 decades I did try to tell myself "I am not TG"... If you expend that much energy there must be a reason why. I learned the reason why. I am, I was, likely odds on favorite at age 60, always will be.  No Matter how badly I wish I weren't

Life sucks and then you die  :o

BTW - I am on the other side of this dilemma. I lived PT as female for while and now live and present primarily as male (most times). Not quite "detransitioned"... reversed course in some ways. Now more then ever WHY? Why am I even bothering to do.....?

Is "To Survive" enough? To do the Right thing?

Is "The Right Thing"  equal to "What Is Expected", my hot button issue after 40-50 years of doing what I thought was expected?

If my life wasn't as complicated as it as... Now I'm really dreaming

Hi Joanne,

Wow your story really resonates with me 55, HRT on and off for years, B cup going on a C, 6foot1, balding, many responsibilities etc. Had so many wtf moments I have given up listening to them! When I do, it's where will I end up? Will I be happy? Sh_t happens and then you die is a favourite. Trouble is sometimes it would be nice to feel 100% happy and feel you were in the right place or getting there!

Hugs Riki