Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I changed my name back in May and was fairly aggressive in getting all my accounts changed over to new name asap. Here I am 8 months later at at least 2-3x/month I am asked for my phone number in order to look up my account. Today it was the UPS store. They look up phone number and there is some confusion. When the confirm the name, I just ask they update it to Brooke.

My hope is that they believe I recently divorced, or it was originally under a husbands name, and I'm just putting it in my own.

I pass pretty well, though these encounters do feel like I'm tipping them off.

Not sure how to avoid this as my phone number has been used for so many accounts that I rarely use.

Any thoughts , ideas or tactics? I don't really want to change my phone number either.

Thanks!


Hugs,
~Brooke~

I just ask them to update the name on the account, or say that's my wife and ask them to add my name to the account.

My number is unlisted so it was never an issue. Hugs
Mariah

 I just asked them to change it, most people I talked with while doing it were nice and some of them were fun to talk with. I changed my name to the female version of my old name because I've liked since I was a kid,  so its not like they couldn't figure it out.
Stephie

I finally got tired of rude surprises like the one you mentioned and tossed my old phone in the trash and started with a new carrier and a new phone.

Nothing cleanses my soul like a fresh start, lol..

I know you said you didn't want to change your number and all, but I found it well worth the peace of mind..

MissyG

I also changed it. I had some apprehension as well, but, eventually I found that it also helped in my transition: a completely pristine and clean slate. New life, new number.  ;D

Thanks for the feedback!
To be fair, everyone has been very nice about it. No probing, just a puzzled look for a few seconds- then onto changing it.

Still I occasionally get calls from job recruiters (5 years after I submitted my resume). In the end, it may be that type of encounter that pushes me to change my phone number.


Hugs,
~Brooke~

I have a landline with an OBI black box and gmail. So I just changed my name in google voice.

Quote from: Brooke on January 16, 2017, 08:51:55 PM
Thanks for the feedback!
To be fair, everyone has been very nice about it. No probing, just a puzzled look for a few seconds- then onto changing it.

Still I occasionally get calls from job recruiters (5 years after I submitted my resume). In the end, it may be that type of encounter that pushes me to change my phone number.


Hugs,
~Brooke~

That's one of the situations I will want to avoid in the future and while I'll probably have my old phone number with me for a while after my name change, I will know that if anyone calls that number they will want to talk with "him" and not me.

As far as receiving calls asking for the old name, I would tell them "Sorry, you must have the wrong number, I've had this number for 'X amount of time'". For about 6 months I was getting calls constantly for some guy named Ronald (not even my male name!) and I've had the number I have for the better part of a decade.

Quote from: Brooke on January 16, 2017, 04:35:04 PMNot sure how to avoid this as my phone number has been used for so many accounts that I rarely use.

Any thoughts , ideas or tactics? I don't really want to change my phone number either.

Considering all the changes we make to our bodies, I'd think that changing a phone number wouldn't be a deal-breaker. :)

There are limits as to what a new phone number would do. My roommate passed away over three years ago and always had a separate phone number. I am getting phone calls for her because we shared a common address. Unfortunately the only way to deal with this mess is to sue the people who construct these data bases that cross link everything.

Quote from: Sophia Sage on February 18, 2017, 10:10:52 AM
Considering all the changes we make to our bodies, I'd think that changing a phone number wouldn't be a deal-breaker. :)

It's not a deal breaker by any means. I do however used that number for everything, Biggest worry I guess is that someone would want/need to get in contact with me and not be able to.

On the positive side I got all my known contacts and accounts updated and have not received a phone call from anyone asking for my male name in over two months.

Quote from: Dena on February 18, 2017, 12:15:32 PMThere are limits as to what a new phone number would do. My roommate passed away over three years ago and always had a separate phone number. I am getting phone calls for her because we shared a common address. Unfortunately the only way to deal with this mess is to sue the people who construct these data bases that cross link everything.

That's not the only way.  :)

When I was in transition, I got a new phone number, and a new address, along with a new ID, but I had my mail forwarded to a UPS mailbox, so nothing was coming to my home that wasn't appropriate.  And then it was a matter of closing old accounts and starting new ones, rather than going through a name change for everything. (A few accounts have compelling reasons to do the name change process with, though, like credit cards, but those weren't the rule, they were the exception.)

There are effective strategies we can employ to avoid dead-naming. 

And it can be very nice to start over with a blank slate.

I have a cellphone as my only line.  I just reset the caller ID to my name.  When calls come in for him, I just tell the caller that there's no such person at this number, sorry.


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