Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello Ladies!

While I am loving absolutely everything about my new life now that I am finally transitioning, there are many people I did not wish to come out to that I fear I need to come out to now because the physical changes on HRT went much faster than expected. 

I just passed that point where I went from people thinking, "Is that a man or a woman?", to "That is a kind of a mannish looking woman... She should fix herself up better." Does anyone know what I mean.

Close, lifelong friends and aunts, uncles and cousins are going to react very poorly to my coming out, but everyone knows something is up. What do I do? Any thoughts on the right approach? I am just not psychologically ready for these confrontations, after so much discrimination already....

Thanks in advance for any advice or just some "cyber hugs". ;)
Kimberly Morgan

My honest advice is to prepare yourself to live without them.  Imagine telling them that you don't have to ever see them again and that you'll not accept any harassment from them.  It's not because you'll need to have that conversion though, you probably won't need to.  You just need to get yourself ready for whatever the conversation is going to be.  Once you're ready for whatever happens; try to have the best version of the conversation and make them understand that transition is just something you need to do.  In my experience, many people that have backwards thinking feel something like "[whatever group] are terrible, dishonest and gross!  Except for [relative or friend] he/she/xe is one of the good ones!"  I still hate that they're that way, but it's better than dehumanizing their dearest loved ones, most people won't do that. 
    Good luck with it!  If you feel it's a conversation you're about to have, just be honest, lay it out plainly, and hope for the best. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Don't pre-judge people's reactions.  You probably know them well enough that you can guess right in most cases.  But some will surprise you, both positively and negatively.  Like Amanda says, hope for the best, but be ready for anything.

I got it so wrong with my predictions about how people would react...There were some that I "just knew" how they were going to react...but I was wrong on several occasions. I only have a few people left to tell and that is more about, that they need to be told, but when they are told, may not matter that much so will talk to them when and if, the occasion arises.

I hope it goes well for you . I have used a mixture of face to face and letters to tell most people. My parents "outed" me to the entire extended family and they were totally shocked at the positive and supportive responses.

Keep Positive

Liz 

OMG, thank you so much ladies! I appreciate everyone's insights! While there are no easy solutions here, it is comforting to hear from other girls who have already been through this and are still going strong!

I will let you all know how it goes! Hopefully, it won't be as bad as I am dreading.

All the Best,
Kimberly

Quote from: kimberlymorganmia on January 18, 2017, 02:42:30 PM
While I am loving absolutely everything about my new life now that I am finally transitioning, there are many people I did not wish to come out to that I fear I need to come out to now because the physical changes on HRT went much faster than expected. 

I'm curious and want to ask. What were those physical changes? I haven't seen anything happen here.

All the best,
--AshleyP

I generally don't.. see any family anymore with the exception of my brother and his wife, and I plan to tell them fairly soon. At work, fortunately, I'm expected to wear SUPER FLATTERING blue FR coveralls. I can just keep throwing on baggier pairs to keep things more hidden until I'm ready. (And where that fails, big black hoodies, which I've already been teased for wearing in the hotter summer temperatures. Heat just doesn't bother me. =/ ) I try to avoid the changerooms at work as much as possible, I already get the stink eye for having shaved legs, I refuse to use the showers there..

I don't know how I'd respond to the 'AHA! We Caught you!'

Kimberly Morgan

Welcome to the site. Sorry it took so long.

There is no easy answer. I don't think you can take anything for granted. Most of the comments here are very good. There is an entire category here discussing coming out. You might want to take a look. I also plan on moving this topic into that category. I will include the link to the category anyway. There are some "stickied" subjects with help and some other examples among our archives.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,29.0.html

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment to:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna