Susan's Place Transgender Resources

One thing I've found is telling people things helps to make it real and kinda solidifies my resolve to do it therefore I'm telling all my friends here on Susan's as step 2 (wife was #1)

For personal and business and other reasons I have come up with a date for Dan to be put into a box and stored away in the attic so Denise can come out full time - 4:50pm Thursday March 2nd.

That is when I will get to my car after work, I'll change to Denise and will not look back.  I will have been on E for exactly 4 months, I don't go into the office on Friday, The following week is "jeans week" at work where things are less formal (And I have more clothes options)... I'm both nervous and excited. Switching back and forth between Dan and Denise is tiring for both me and my wife.  (She complains she never knows what to expect.)

Congratulations!  I found the old "back and forth" to be extremely draining, and it just got harder and harder to do.  Having an 'official' full-time date should ease the stress, since you now have a definite finish line ahead that you know you will reach.

I'm so glad that your wife is accepting of this.  That seems to be a rare thing in our world.


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Hugs! atleast February is short eh :D

Dee Dee,
You have come so far since I first spoke with you. I always enjoy reading your posts but I really enjoyed reading this one. I am very happy for you. You will feel so much better not doing "the switch a roo." I really hated  it for me. I made a commitment to do it for months after I came out. It got really hard. I will be happy to celebrate with you on that day.
Moni

Congratulations on your resolve. Life is so short. Why can't we just live it authentically?  My process was more gradual but I'll never forget the day I packed up the last of my boy clothes and dropped them off at the ARC.  It was a sort of crossing of the Rubicon.  Now in stressful situations where I have to leave the house right away to go to an uncertain meeting, I have no choice. All I have is my clothes to wear. That doesn't mean I don't feel naked sometimes. I mean I'm not hiding my inner sense of gender anymore.

I set my "full-time" date sometime early last year, I don't remember exactly when.  I said to myself and my therapist "by the end of 2016, if I can hold it together that long."  For me, since I'm a worrier and was terrified that it would all go wrong, I wanted enough time to get everything ready -- to get used to my femme name, to come out to people outside work, to work on my presentation, and to get my IDs in order.  I also had this idea that, being on HRT, I would experience "male fail" by then, but that has not happened, unfortunately.  (E.g., I have breasts, but they're 50AA at best, maybe 50 AAA.)

During that time, I found that my company had guidelines for handling transitioning employees, so I went the "go through HR" route, and contacted them in September.  Based on my attorney's experience, I submitted my name change request in August.  I started looking for work-appropriate femme clothing in May.  So by December, my non-work transition was basically done and the work-related things were scheduled.

So when I showed up at the office on Jan. 4 of this year, it was a total non-issue.  People mostly get the name and pronouns right, nobody's asked me any inappropriate questions (or approriate ones, either), and it's like I'd been coming to work this way for years.

I don't know if this would work for everyone, though.  Workplaces differ, transitioners differ.  Not to mention laws (my office is in New York City, which has lots of legal protections.)

Hooray for you!  The freedom train is pulling into your station soon.  You can pack the Dan bags and only let Dee off at your home station.  I feel certain your baggage will be far lighter to carry from then on.  All aboard..... ;D

Congratulations!!!

I never did the back and forth thing, but I can imagine it would be very, very stressful, oh my!!

My ex was never ready for me to be me, so I delayed electro and acquiring femme clothes until after I broke up with her. Shortly after, the first time she saw me with a purse she almost popped a blood vessel, lol, I was en femme and heading out the door for my first real-life trans support meeting, and I arrived in tears, and found no support there anyway.

But, I had been on HRT for over a year, and I was getting 'Ma'am' and "Miss' everywhere already, so it was a done deal, I just had to get caught up with my new reality...

It is a very special thing for me, every time I read about a spouse that supports RLE, mine was okay with me being female, as long as I kept it to myself, lol..

Good luck, hun, the best is yet to come!!!

Missy

Quote from: Denise on January 22, 2017, 10:55:39 AM
One thing I've found is telling people things helps to make it real and kinda solidifies my resolve to do it therefore I'm telling all my friends here on Susan's as step 2 (wife was #1)

For personal and business and other reasons I have come up with a date for Dan to be put into a box and stored away in the attic so Denise can come out full time - 4:50pm Thursday March 2nd.

That is when I will get to my car after work, I'll change to Denise and will not look back.  I will have been on E for exactly 4 months, I don't go into the office on Friday, The following week is "jeans week" at work where things are less formal (And I have more clothes options)... I'm both nervous and excited. Switching back and forth between Dan and Denise is tiring for both me and my wife.  (She complains she never knows what to expect.)

Hi Denise

Good on you...you sound like you are fed up and ready to move to the next level, as I said in an earlier post I am getting so tired of being so accommodating and am with you... I am sick to death of the back and forth. I am Looking at April as I am waiting on my new hair to grown in, as the implants are only about 8 weeks old. The final change I will make is to have my hair styled, coloured and after that I will not be going back for anyone...that is of course if I don't go completely off my rocker in frustration in the mean time...My daughter moved back in with me so I have lost my safe space and that is really starting to get under my skin. I am sure I can hold out till April as I am sure you will hold out to March.

Good Luck

Liz 

Dee, I am soooooo excited for you.  That is awesome!  I can't even imagine all the emotions that must be coming with that. I will definitely look forward to hearing how this journey continues to go for you. You've come a long way and I know you have a long way to go yet but this is of course a huge step in the right direction.

Aw, very glad and excited for you! Also great to see your wife seems fairly supportive. I hope it all works out well.

I am so happy for you as well!  This is an exciting step, thank you for sharing

Congratulations.

I am glad your wife supports you in your identity.

Quote from: Tessa James on January 22, 2017, 04:42:11 PM
...  your baggage will be far lighter to carry from then on.  All aboard..... ;D

Okay - First - I'll NEVER EVER as long as I live criticize what a woman packs in their luggage.  I used to pack for a week in a duffel bag containing 1 pair of shoes.  The last trip I took for 5 days and I took a 48 pound rolling bag with 6 (7?) pairs of shoes and enough outfits for 14 days.  Because I just don't know what will suit me on any particular day. 

---- oh, that's not what you were referring to.... sorry ---

Thanks for the support.  A few of you had indicated that it must be emotional or exciting or... I just look at it as another step with more to go.

These two steps scare me more:
Legal name change - Pseudo Permanent
FFS - Very Permanent (Consult in July)

Quote from: Denise on February 01, 2017, 11:00:33 AM
Okay - First - I'll NEVER EVER as long as I live criticize what a woman packs in their luggage.  I used to pack for a week in a duffel bag containing 1 pair of shoes.  The last trip I took for 5 days and I took a 48 pound rolling bag with 6 (7?) pairs of shoes and enough outfits for 14 days.  Because I just don't know what will suit me on any particular day. 

---- oh, that's not what you were referring to.... sorry ---

Thanks for the support.  A few of you had indicated that it must be emotional or exciting or... I just look at it as another step with more to go.

These two steps scare me more:
Legal name change - Pseudo Permanent
FFS - Very Permanent (Consult in July)

LOL, metaphors and analogies aside my travel bags are similarly more full these days.  A girl needs options when stepping out ;D

Quote from: Tessa James on February 01, 2017, 11:25:58 AM
LOL, metaphors and analogies aside my travel bags are similarly more full these days.  A girl needs options when stepping out ;D

I went to Sydney for 4 nights recently prior to my transition a carry on bag would have been enough....21 kg's checked baggage later and a full carry on....where did all that come from...LOL

FFS is a big step but if you are ready you are ready. RLE will be a good gauge. After I went RLE everything fell in place.  I kept gaining a lot of self confidence.