Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm having a really hard time right now. I'm having anxiety like I haven't experienced in a long time. My wife is in a mood since yesterday. I believe it's because I found a support group in St Louis that meets tonight. I don't think she's trying to be in a mood but just is. I told her I made contact with the group person yesterday. At the time she said she was happy for me but late in the day I got a text saying just stay away from her when I got home from work so she wouldn't hurt my feelings. That of course hurt my feelings. Ugh. Anyway she's still was the same this morning. She got like this a couple of times before when she expected me to get my HRT letter from my therapist appointment.

I think she may be feeling jealousy or loss as I'm reaching out to others for support while she has refused to get her own therapy for "my" issues. That's what she said the last time she was angry like this.

I don't know. I just feel really crappy today. The cloudy weather doesn't help any. As much as I know going to group will help me, I'm not sure if I can go tonight. I don't know if my anxiety is just keyed up general type or if I'm worried that her mood will be worse when I get back from going. Today I just want to crawl in a hole

I'm sorry hun. I remember going through the same thing. Just remember this.... it will change. In my case getting support no longer triggers my wife, but at one point it was very hard on my wife. Things are still hard in other ways now. Such as the fact that at times I feel like I'm the woman that killed my wife's husband and then inherited his life. It's no wonder that there's still an intense disdain for me. What I can say though is that those around us will transition in some form as well, it's just a matter of how. Just continue to take care of yourself and be patient with those around you. It will work itself out one way or another. It sounds like she is at least giving you a warning so that the two of you can avoid a blow up.

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Remember you have had a long time (years, decades?) to come to an understanding with yourself.  Your wife has not. Her emotions on this will be like a pendulum.  In my case it's taken 16 months and last weekend we went out together and besides her mis-gendering me ("add his order...", she never realized she did it) it went well and we both had a good time.

It's taken 16 months (1 1/3 years) but she has finally, I think, come to her balancing point.  Your wife will too.  the first 6 months were ROCKY and divorce was around every conversation.  Go slowly and give her time.  If she says "avoid me..." then I suggest you avoid her.  Let her come to terms with all of this in her way.

Thank you both. As of now we are back to being good. She needed to vent some built up rage, loss, grief, whatever. I'm feeling better myself but I did not get to group. I'll try again in two weeks since I have to be out of town next week. As much as my meeting new potential friends bothered her she really did want me to go.

Yeh I know it takes time. And I have known about my inner girl for 36 of my 40 years so I am trying my best to understand her feelings. Again thanks for the support. It does really help.  :)