Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've enjoyed dressing for many years off and on. It's taken off a lot more over the last year though. I'd say the attractions are that I find female clothing more attractive than male clothing and I just feel more relaxed when en femme. There's no sexual kink or anything like that motivating me. However, I sometimes wonder if there is something missing compared with other tgirls. A lot of the ones I correspond with seem to be suffering from GD, are planning transition etc etc. It feels like emotionally compared to them there's something missing. I don't spend my days with some kind of trauma that I'm in the wrong body and yet, and I know it sounds strange, if the option to flick and switch and change was there I'd probably do it. I sometimes wonder why I'm missing these strong urges that other tgirls seem to have.

My journey has been  one of discovery, not torment. As they say, gender is a spectrum. Not everyone needs to fully  transition to reach their happy place. If you want to get your girl on but not change your body, go for it!

Hugs, Devlyn

Everyone is different and dysphoria certainly varies in degrees of intensity and manifestation. I repressed being a transgender woman for so long that my dysphoria was manifesting in ways that I was completely incapable of recognizing until after I came out and started seeing a therapist. Aspects of my male identity existed entirely because of the displaced feelings of dysphoria. I'm learning that it has caused me to be an angry person for a long time and I'm still working through that, it made me focus on everyone and everything but my own needs because it was easier to bog myself down in responsibility, obligation, and external stress than it was to face myself. My dysphoria made fear and anxiety influence my decisions rule my life. It wasn't until after the walls I had put up started falling that I found myself having a lot of the more physical symptoms. In some ways, now that I'm actually recognizing my dysphoria and feeling it full force, I would say that it is affecting me even more than before. The only difference is now I'm slowly learning how to deal with it.

I think the wise choice is to not do any more changes to your body and life than is needed to be happy with who you are. If dressing female now and then and otherwise remaining male is how you enjoy living you should absolutely just stick with that! I went to my first trans group meeting last week and met a few that share your way of doing it, and are happy with that.

If there are questions about yourself that you would like answered, a therapist may be advisable.

You might be "missing" some of these feelings because it's possible that you fall somewhere else on the spectrum.  Gender fluid, ->-bleeped-<-, maybe non-op transgender or even some other part of the spectrum entirely. (I'm still trying to figure out the full breadth of the spectrum myself) 

If simply swapping or spicing up the wardrobe out gives you fulfillment, then I say roll with it and enjoy it.  In my opinion not having GD is a blessing and not having to deal with everything associated with it would certainly simplify things.