Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm pondering over how to convince my psychologist, one method might be to go around in public wearing a dress, if I didn't look like this I would o.o

Maybe, I should wear a mask or something to hide my identity?

Look like what? Alls i see is a anime avatar kinda similar to mine lol

Works for me.  I didn't bother with a mask, though, as that would just make people nervous.

I discovered that most people just didn't care what I looked like.  I went to my second original therapist session on dressed as myself, and every session with my gender therapist.  I found that sa myself I could talk to them better, and with better communication came a quicker resolution of my issues.

It's certainly worth a try.

Not to steal this thread but i think i am missing something? What is this mask stuff ya speak of? is this like jargon language or are we talking about like mask masks, like for  a costume and such? i really dont know XD

Hi, Ashley!  Xirafel was just asking about going out dressed, that is, presenting as herself in public, and worried about whether or not she needed a mask to hide her identity.

Nah.  A mask would draw the wrong kind of attention.  Besides, people going about their lives don't really notice us.  They're too busy trying to get where they are going, avoid bumping into others, and trying to walk without falling over.  They generally just don't look that closely.

Quote from: SailorMars1994 on February 17, 2017, 09:08:57 PM
Look like what? Alls i see is a anime avatar kinda similar to mine lol

If I looked like my avatar, that would be aaaammmaaaazzzzzziiiinnngggg.

Quote from: Xirafel on February 18, 2017, 12:49:54 AM
If I looked like my avatar, that would be aaaammmaaaazzzzzziiiinnngggg.

Xirafel, in my mind I always picture you like the brilliant, cute and highly confusing Cowboy Bebop character 'Ed'.
She also made up her own name.
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/01/6a/5b/016a5ba41dc5428cb34d127a640ada25.jpg)

I apologize up front if I missed the point of your posting, but I saw a real question that was going unanswered.

Quote from: Xirafel on February 17, 2017, 09:05:41 PM
I'm pondering over how to convince my psychologist, one method might be to go around in public wearing a dress, if I didn't look like this I would o.o

Maybe, I should wear a mask or something to hide my identity?

I think I understand your question.  Is it that your psychologist doesn't think you've got Gender Dysphoria and you are asking if going around in public in a dress (but you want to hide your identity with a mask) might help convince them?

If that's what you're asking, I don't think so.*  When I started with therapy I didn't really believe I was transgender and/or had Gender Dysphoria/  I didn't even use those words, I let them figure it out.  But they (2 of them) diagnosed G.D. by just the stories I told of my youth and "what brought me in today."   Be honest with them.  Transition is NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY.

* unless you are a totally different person who you like much better.


About going out in a dress - if you want to do that, by all means do it!  I started out going in to "the city" (Chicago - about 50 miles away) so everyone was "a stranger" and "I would never see these people again."  It was very comforting - no mask required because in some sense what's the difference between an anonymous person and someone in a mask.  Being anonymous was my mask.

- Dee

Quote from: Denise on February 18, 2017, 07:31:32 AM
I apologize up front if I missed the point of your posting, but I saw a real question that was going unanswered.

I think I understand your question.  Is it that your psychologist doesn't think you've got Gender Dysphoria and you are asking if going around in public in a dress (but you want to hide your identity with a mask) might help convince them?

If that's what you're asking, I don't think so.*  When I started with therapy I didn't really believe I was transgender and/or had Gender Dysphoria/  I didn't even use those words, I let them figure it out.  But they (2 of them) diagnosed G.D. by just the stories I told of my youth and "what brought me in today."   Be honest with them.  Transition is NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY.

* unless you are a totally different person who you like much better.


About going out in a dress - if you want to do that, by all means do it!  I started out going in to "the city" (Chicago - about 50 miles away) so everyone was "a stranger" and "I would never see these people again."  It was very comforting - no mask required because in some sense what's the difference between an anonymous person and someone in a mask.  Being anonymous was my mask.

- Dee

It's not really transition. It's more fixing my body to what it should be and purging the toxins.
One friend once said not to let anyone tell me what my feelings are.

It's not like I can get a new brain o.o

Quote from: Xirafel on February 17, 2017, 09:05:41 PM
I'm pondering over how to convince my psychologist, one method might be to go around in public wearing a dress, if I didn't look like this I would o.o

Maybe, I should wear a mask or something to hide my identity?

Convince them of what?
Why are they saying you don't have GD but something else?
What is that "Something else" they think is your real issue?
And... Most important:
Does the therapist have an F'n clue about GD and dealing with trans clients?
Is the therapist T friendly or figures you can be "fixed"?

Quote from: JoanneB on February 18, 2017, 08:36:44 AM
Convince them of what?
Why are they saying you don't have GD but something else?
What is that "Something else" they think is your real issue?
And... Most important:
Does the therapist have an F'n clue about GD and dealing with trans clients?
Is the therapist T friendly or figures you can be "fixed"?

Listen to Joanna. She has a good point

Quote from: Xirafel on February 17, 2017, 09:05:41 PM
I'm pondering over how to convince my psychologist, one method might be to go around in public wearing a dress, if I didn't look like this I would o.o

Maybe, I should wear a mask or something to hide my identity?

Maybe you need a new psychologist if they aren't believing what you say.

What sort of mask? You pretty much can't go into stores or anywhere wearing anything that conceals your face. They'll think you're gonna do the place over.

Quote from: JoanneB on February 18, 2017, 08:36:44 AM
Convince them of what?
Why are they saying you don't have GD but something else?
What is that "Something else" they think is your real issue?
And... Most important:
Does the therapist have an F'n clue about GD and dealing with trans clients?
Is the therapist T friendly or figures you can be "fixed"?

I don't think they have a clue about what the "real issue" is either or they would have said it. For whatever reason, they eliminated GD and are trying to look for a reason.

I go around with a hoodie covering my face in shadow in man presentation.  :-X Not quite wearing a mask but much less socially taboo.

I don't have any female ones, and it might not be feminine enough to satisfy my psychologist.

I think you have a terrible psychologist.

Good or bad. Great or terrible. That's what I have.
It really ****es me off that I have to prove that I'm a girl, but that's how it is, unfortunately :(

I don't even know *how* to prove it. It's like being accused of a crime, not being given any information, and being expected to figure out what it is you think the other side has. What's the best way to probe her for information and change her mind?

Badmouthing my psychologist is something I might entertain, if my problem was resolved, but it's largely useless right now as it won't make me any less screwed :(

Quote from: Xirafel on February 19, 2017, 02:18:42 AM
Good or bad. Great or terrible. That's what I have.
It really ****es me off that I have to prove that I'm a girl, but that's how it is, unfortunately :(

I don't even know *how* to prove it. It's like being accused of a crime, not being given any information, and being expected to figure out what it is you think the other side has. What's the best way to probe her for information and change her mind?

Badmouthing my psychologist is something I might entertain, if my problem was resolved, but it's largely useless right now as it won't make me any less screwed :(

You don't have to prove that you're transgender. All you have to do is accept that you are, tell them you identify as a girl, and ask if they are willing and able to help you.

Besides, not all trans people have the same childhood experiences. There's no one way to be trans. Trans people come in all different shapes, sizes, ages, sexualities, ethnicities and creeds.

You could say something like this to them:
"I know myself, I'm transgender. If you're willing and able to help me with this, I'd appreciate it. Otherwise, would you refer me to a psychologist who has experience helping transgender people? That's what I need to be a happy and fulfilled/productive person, which is ostensibly what I pay you to help me with.

Another thing that might help you feel better when you do talk to a supportive psychologist who can help you, is packing a change of clothes you feel more comfortable in. Many therapists with experience working with the trans community have a private space or bathroom or something that you can change into clothes that match your gender identity. So pack some girl clothes and change into them when you get there, then talk.


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I Dont understand...you got to pills once so what changed now from perspective of your therapist?

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She's a psychologist. She just listens to what I say, spits out a diagnosis and does her thing o.o
She doesn't do anything more or anything less than that. She has some types of therapy, but those have nothing to do with this problem. It's kind of like putting your problems into a computer and it coming up with a result.

I went behind her back for those pills, mm. It would be really hard to get more on short notice without her co-operating which I'm not too confident about and cheaper too. Short notice is actually a pretty long time, unfortunately.

If you're scared of people recognizing you, make-up can do wonders! YouTube has so many good tutorials on contouring and how to do cut creases (which change a persons appearance so much!) Wigs can help too, but get a realistic one from a place like lockshopwigs, amazon, or rockstar wigs (they don't need to be pricy, just believable [emoji6]).  Here are some trans women with good tutorials on feminizing your features with makeup!
Stef Sanjati: https://youtu.be/fi7_6SqretM
https://youtu.be/9d-Y30KLBIU

Maya: https://youtu.be/O2sfMpefy3A

BeautyWithTrinity: https://youtu.be/nR04fM8DhVI

Elena Genevinne: https://youtu.be/KipOQAx5CmM

PatrickStarrr (he isn't trans): https://youtu.be/yiq3M5d5T_A

PRINCESSJOULES: https://youtu.be/Ah8hNEXYFFs

MilesJaiProductions: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF9Z3ocAUzsiHnbbhnvEElCBvUQ42eRuz

My favorites out of all of these are PRINCESSJOULES and Stef Sanjati who also post about their transition!

How to contour: https://youtu.be/4qsLJArkAe4 (lighter skin)
https://youtu.be/ikP_VHwQcpY (darker skin)

How to do a cut crease:
https://youtu.be/MlO1Fi2FoeU (nonhooded eyes)
https://youtu.be/OftREK18Mmw (hooded eyes)

I hope these videos help you or my comment did!



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Princess joules has a ton of other great videos too! (I thought that one was a little funny and silly :P)


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Wanting you to prove your womanhood to her is degrading and abusive. When I say your shrink is terrible I'm not saying it casually.

It's only been a while since I took that pill and it's working wonders. The bad thoughts are going away and my mind isn't constantly going in negative circles... For now o.o
Those videos aren't loading for me, I'm going to try it in another browser.

Edit: My mood and emotional state are still climbing upwards. Also, the psychologist just said... after six months... that she has no clue what she's doing and that I need someone who does.

Quote from: Xirafel on February 19, 2017, 07:24:06 AM
It's only been a while since I took that pill and it's working wonders. The bad thoughts are going away and my mind isn't constantly going in negative circles... For now o.o
Those videos aren't loading for me, I'm going to try it in another browser.

Edit: My mood and emotional state are still climbing upwards. Also, the psychologist just said... after six months... that she has no clue what she's doing and that I need someone who does.

Glad you are feeling are the up tick. Still suprised it took your Psycologist only decided now after 6 months she isnt of much help in this situation

So you have someone else who got you those pills? Do you have pills to cancel testosterone in your body as well as female hormones pills?

Just asking

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The pills to cancel testosterone *are* my female hormone pills. I think of it as matter and anti-matter o.o
So far, she's pushed me to someone who seems as useless as she is, but maybe he has contacts. Or not. Or maybe.

My mood drops off at the end of the day, I take the pill and it shoots up.

It's a change, hopefully for the better and not for the worse. Please keep me updated if something changes or new therapist shows up.

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Mm. I'm thinking of buying clothes, but that would take away from the money needed for pills.

I've been wearing the exact same sleeping dress for like six months, and I'm not allowed to wash clothes, so it's super dirty. And I'm always in my room away from the cold, hard world with it.

How are you not allowed to wash your clothes honey? 6 months?!

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Wash your clothing in the sink, like rinse them, and then hang them
In your closet or on your bed post to dry


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It's cleaner then not washing at all if you don't have a washing machine or access to one


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She doesn't want me to use the machine. Using the sink made the socks smell weird, and didn't actually wash out the filth.

Quote from: Xirafel on February 22, 2017, 01:15:40 AM
She doesn't want me to use the machine.

Maybe ideas...? I don't know if these will help at all (nor do I know your exact situation), they just popped into my head.
Hope it can help somewhat.
1) A laundromat (if close/accessible to you).
2) A friend or maybe a nice family member's laundry machine.
3) If you have a job, some places have washing machines to wash the worker's uniforms in. I used to work at a restaurant and sometimes people would just throw in an extra random shirt or two from their backpack to get cleaned as well. I would be a bit careful with this one and the rules of the place though.
4) Or as thewitchoforigins suggested, the sink is another option. I would also suggest a shower or tub maybe if the sink has some weird smell that won't leave. Or non-busy public restrooms with sinks could work.

Here's another: if you have more than one piece, change them on a daily basis, wearing one just one day at the time. It helped me a little bit when I didn't have access to washing machine. Not much though.

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