Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Kensi on February 25, 2017, 08:03:08 PM Return to Full Version
Title: the moment you realize your current residence wont work
Post by: Kensi on February 25, 2017, 08:03:08 PM
Post by: Kensi on February 25, 2017, 08:03:08 PM
So, I cam out to my Father about two months ago and I am now in the process of moving. I understand that he is pretty much mourning the person I was, but he has done nothing but yell this entire time. I was stubborn. Thinking, hey maybe with will work: however, I have reached the point were living in this house will only damage the relationship we had repaired sense I started living here. I love my dad to death, but his ignorance has been way to damaging to my well being. I have tried to stay strong and keep going however my mental state is in a constant downward spiral. The thoughts of suicide, that I had been conquering, have came back three times as bad. What do you do when the person you are still alive because of, harnesses so much hate against the person you really are? I can only hope we can develop a working relationship again. I don't understand it.... The ignorance of his mind would rather me lie to him every day than actually tell the truth. I guess some people just prefer lies....
Title: Re: the moment you realize your current residence wont work
Post by: Raell on February 25, 2017, 08:22:46 PM
Post by: Raell on February 25, 2017, 08:22:46 PM
You are very brave.
Your father is no doubt an indoctrinated victim of the evangelical gender binary concept, gleaned from the Jewish Old Testament, where men are forbidden to dress as women and vice versa. That same OT text also says to stone anyone who commits adultery, talks back to parents, carries something or walks very far on Saturday, etc., so to pay attention to a few isolated verses from 4000 years ago, and to ignore all the others, is an example of religious patriarchy control/persecution of others.
Most trans people I've read about report that if they leave their rejecting family members alone and go on with their own lives, eventually social awareness catches up with the disapproving relatives. From movies, TV shows, news, friends, etc they usually eventually start to realize they are out of touch with the times, especially if their own friends begin to criticize them for rejecting you.
Parental disapproval of trans children is, in their minds, supposed to shame them into playing their usual, socially accepted, gender roles, which reflects well on the parents. If you are an aberration, that potentially exposes your parents to criticism from their own older relatives, who might see them as "failures," as well as you.
In the meantime, moving out sounds like a good idea.
Your father is no doubt an indoctrinated victim of the evangelical gender binary concept, gleaned from the Jewish Old Testament, where men are forbidden to dress as women and vice versa. That same OT text also says to stone anyone who commits adultery, talks back to parents, carries something or walks very far on Saturday, etc., so to pay attention to a few isolated verses from 4000 years ago, and to ignore all the others, is an example of religious patriarchy control/persecution of others.
Most trans people I've read about report that if they leave their rejecting family members alone and go on with their own lives, eventually social awareness catches up with the disapproving relatives. From movies, TV shows, news, friends, etc they usually eventually start to realize they are out of touch with the times, especially if their own friends begin to criticize them for rejecting you.
Parental disapproval of trans children is, in their minds, supposed to shame them into playing their usual, socially accepted, gender roles, which reflects well on the parents. If you are an aberration, that potentially exposes your parents to criticism from their own older relatives, who might see them as "failures," as well as you.
In the meantime, moving out sounds like a good idea.
Title: Re: the moment you realize your current residence wont work
Post by: Kensi on February 25, 2017, 08:42:35 PM
Post by: Kensi on February 25, 2017, 08:42:35 PM
Yes, all of this seems to make sense. I just think of the fact I prayed and prayed and prayed to be the normal male, but it seemed to of just made my belief in a god a far reaching thing. Here I am 28 years old and am finally truly being myself and of course I deal with the same thing that kept me from telling anyone my entire life. Sometimes when something you have feared most of your life become a reality, you become faced with the decision to move forward or dig back into your hole. I for one am choosing forward :)
Title: Re: the moment you realize your current residence wont work
Post by: Kylo on February 26, 2017, 10:14:07 AM
Post by: Kylo on February 26, 2017, 10:14:07 AM
You may be alive because of him and you may feel attachment, but all kids are meant to leave and live the way they want to. That's what he did, right? He left and had his own family and lived how he wanted. He's not living under his dad and being told how to live. Everyone is their own person and I would think it's not nature's way that we should live under the shadow of our parents or exist just to please them.