Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I'm not currently living with my parents and I started HRT without them knowing. I propably won't see them for a year... I don't think I will be able to hide any changes from them.

My parents love me so much that they call on me every night to check up on me  :P
That makes it harder to tell  "I'm their daughter". So how should one explain this? Should I arrange an appointment with my Psychiatrist? I'm worried that they won't understand about my condition, such that a Doctor will have a better success than me  :D

I'm expecting the worst case scenario... My relatives.. Oh God!
Since my religion is Islam I doubt it will be easy. I can picture all my self righteous cousins, Relatives giving me a moral lecture.

They will lecture like how I should devote myself to Allah and this is because of my upbringing. I know, i know my religion says  how males can't thread eyebrows, wear jewellery, or be like a woman. I don't believe in any Gods and what I can't stand is Fanatics lecturing me on something their tiny brains can't fathom.

They will tell me to Pray 5 times a day which they find me skipping altogether. They keep telling me I'll be like a Kafir (Unbeliever) and punished by Allah. This gets boring after you sit through the same lecture 20+ times.

I don't know if I can find faith in any religion after what I've been through. I don't know if i have peace of my mind after my transition. But It's certainly beats putting on a fake mask, praying to a made up deity all the while slowly dying on the inside...

That is a tough one honey.

Are you living in an Islamic state or are you in a country that may accept gender diverse people?

What I know of Islam is that it can be a very accepting religion but of course that does not mean that people who you know are very accepting, exactly the same as in Christianity or any religious group for that matter.

In my case I had to essentially give up on my family and move to another country (UK to Australia), I got on fine with my family with 30,000km between us!

Of course moving does not mean giving up your religion, if you have belief in your Faith then follow it and take comfort from it. Just because others interpret Holy books to their own opinion does not make that opinion correct.

I'm actually from India, so it's a Gender diverse country. But the problem here is that there is a heavy emphasis given on one's Family Job, Social status. People are more focussed on what others might think. My relatives only lecture me so they can keep their head up.

I want to move away from here if possible but I'm not in a good financial or mental position right now. I've completed Engineering and currently working. They would also poke at my career, how I can lose it. They are always saying I will get a better Job and marry a nice woman....  Everytime my parents say "You will bring a good woman to this house", I'll chuckle inside.  What is most surprising that eventhough the neighbours asking why "Your son looks and behaves like a girl" my parents still think there's nothing wrong with me...


I know these people only do these things for their own skin and maybe there are some who genuinely mean it.
Most of them don't know what the holy book actually mean and take their superficial meaning. What I've learned is, The most dangerous thing in the world is Ignorance.

I don't plan on preaching my own values to them or hearing theirs. I only want my parents to accept me as who I am. But even the pressure from others will sway them. I'm not strong emotionally even before or not even now. I'm more scared that these people would drive me into a corner and would not leave me any other wa, In which case I think my parents will regret their decision.

I know there are so many people out there who have ot worse than me, and I greatly admire them. I can only hope that when the time comes I can be half as strong.

Heya, you know they should not judge you for this.
I am Christian and a believer. They could never understand why God send us on these paths.
This is a test for ourselves and for others around us. We can either sit around getting depressed about it or do something about it and make something of our lives. They have no right to judge us, and if they truly listen to God/Allah they will know to simply treat you as they wish to be treated by others too.
Good luck with your family, I hope it all works out for you.

You mentioned you have a therapist.  Have they given you a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria?  If yes, use that as your opening with them.
"Mom, dad I've been diagnosed with a condition called Gender Dysphoria." They will probably give you a blank stare. "It's the clinical diagnosis for people who are transgender."

From there it becomes a medical issue, not a choice.  As we know, the "cure" is to transition.

I have had 100% acceptance of everyone I've told.

I am also facing this problem and haven't come up with a good answer either.  While my family members are Christian, the pressure to not be an unbeliever is very similar.  That is a common trait that devout followers of Islam, Christianity, and many other religions share. 

The thought of sparring using scriptures seems like a dead end to me, despite being able to find arguments there to support my side.  The book of Job in the bible would be a good source for me.  But my heart just isn't in it as I left the life of a believer long ago.  I do have a Koran and have read portions of it, I am not familiar enough to be of much help. 

I guess it would be best to say something along the lines of "I am your child, and this is who I have always been.  I do not expect you to understand, as you have never lived through what I have.  Not understanding means you are more blessed than you can imagine.  I would like for you to accept it and I know it may take time, it took me my entire life to accept it." 

Maybe this is just one of those dilemmas where there are no good answers.  I would love to be able to minimize the fallout, but I also recognize that humans are unpredictable and often cruel.  Maybe being up front and blunt about it might cause more pain initially but help family come to terms with it faster.

Hopefully I can get as much help from this thread as you.

They would take my word more casually that's why I prefer a Doctor. Still I expect a lot of ignorance about this from their part. My mom used to comb my long hair when we watch television together. Once there was a documentary about the third gender on TV. I've kept my ears sharp for her remarks, she exclaimed "How these people have a life? Are they ruining their lives for this?"

I'm afraid that she mistakes my binary gender for non binary third gender. I don't know how my parents still haven't figured it out. They are a bit conservative people and I doubt they will have much info on the Gender minorities. As long as Ignorance plague their mind I won't be able to get their full support.

I think the best way for me might be getting some help from my therapist. What do you think about this?