Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: BreannaRose on November 14, 2007, 07:30:50 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Out at work
Post by: BreannaRose on November 14, 2007, 07:30:50 PM
Post by: BreannaRose on November 14, 2007, 07:30:50 PM
Hey everyone!
I know that one of our greatest fears for a TS is being outed before they're ready to come out. Especially at work. This is exactly what happened to me in the last two days. In truth, I don't mind at all that they know. What I do mind is how it happened, and that it didn't happen on my terms. It goes something like this...
Where I work we have an in-house medical plan. No insurance companies. We get 6% of our annual salary to spend on any medical expense we wish, no questions asked, 90% coverage. Pretty good deal. So I've been submitting my therapists bills, which simply say 'reason for visit: stress therapy' on them. Pretty innocent stuff. Now here is where is gets interesting: as it turns out, the person who handles our benefit program has a transgendered son and recognized the therapists name on the receipts and knew what her specialty was. So this person decided to take it upon themselves to confront a close friend of mine at work (who knows about me) and ask them what was going on in my life! Unfortunately my friend caved in from intimidation and told everything. Then he sends me an email saying he knows whats going on, that its wrong, that I'll never be happy with this, I'll lose everything, and the only way to get through all of this is to find God!
Needless to say when I read this email I was quite literally beside myself. I couldn't bring myself to go to work that day but I needed to know exactly what he knew. So later in the day I confronted him... turns out knows my entire story and he told pretty much everyone at the office. So here I am...left to do damage control and rapid education 6 months before I was ready to.
So between him breaking the provincial privacy act AND sending me a harassing letter, I'm in a pretty good position to sue them out of existence.
So its been an interesting week. And if for any reason they think I'm going to just go away, they have another thing coming. If I can't stand up for my rights (trans or not), who else will?
Breanna
I know that one of our greatest fears for a TS is being outed before they're ready to come out. Especially at work. This is exactly what happened to me in the last two days. In truth, I don't mind at all that they know. What I do mind is how it happened, and that it didn't happen on my terms. It goes something like this...
Where I work we have an in-house medical plan. No insurance companies. We get 6% of our annual salary to spend on any medical expense we wish, no questions asked, 90% coverage. Pretty good deal. So I've been submitting my therapists bills, which simply say 'reason for visit: stress therapy' on them. Pretty innocent stuff. Now here is where is gets interesting: as it turns out, the person who handles our benefit program has a transgendered son and recognized the therapists name on the receipts and knew what her specialty was. So this person decided to take it upon themselves to confront a close friend of mine at work (who knows about me) and ask them what was going on in my life! Unfortunately my friend caved in from intimidation and told everything. Then he sends me an email saying he knows whats going on, that its wrong, that I'll never be happy with this, I'll lose everything, and the only way to get through all of this is to find God!
Needless to say when I read this email I was quite literally beside myself. I couldn't bring myself to go to work that day but I needed to know exactly what he knew. So later in the day I confronted him... turns out knows my entire story and he told pretty much everyone at the office. So here I am...left to do damage control and rapid education 6 months before I was ready to.
So between him breaking the provincial privacy act AND sending me a harassing letter, I'm in a pretty good position to sue them out of existence.
So its been an interesting week. And if for any reason they think I'm going to just go away, they have another thing coming. If I can't stand up for my rights (trans or not), who else will?
Breanna
Title: Re: Out at work
Post by: Steph on November 14, 2007, 08:06:01 PM
Post by: Steph on November 14, 2007, 08:06:01 PM
As you said this is probably the worst ways that coming out can occur. If I may ask... in which province do you live. I'm in Ontario, and I'm thankful that this province also protects me against the misguided council you have been on the receiving end of.
Be sure to document everything and if you don't mind can you keep us posted on how this issue goes forward I think that it will benefit many here.
However, putting the circumstances aside how does it feel to be out at work. Personally I experienced great relief as it was one of the most significant steps in transition.
Steph
Be sure to document everything and if you don't mind can you keep us posted on how this issue goes forward I think that it will benefit many here.
However, putting the circumstances aside how does it feel to be out at work. Personally I experienced great relief as it was one of the most significant steps in transition.
Steph
Title: Re: Out at work
Post by: BreannaRose on November 14, 2007, 10:39:57 PM
Post by: BreannaRose on November 14, 2007, 10:39:57 PM
I live in Manitoba and am protected from this kind of thing. I will keep you informed as to what happens. Planning on meeting with my company's President tomorrow...see where that goes. Other than all that, it does feel nice to be out at work. At least I don't feel so false anymore. :)
Breanna
Breanna