Community Conversation => Youth talk => Topic started by: youngandconfused on March 04, 2017, 02:14:29 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Am I a transboy.?
Post by: youngandconfused on March 04, 2017, 02:14:29 PM
Post by: youngandconfused on March 04, 2017, 02:14:29 PM
Hello, I'm currently 16.
I was hoping someone could help me with the confusion I'm having with my gender. First off, I feel like I should mention that my whole life I've never felt "feminine" at all. And I didn't ever want to feel feminine either. But here recently (these thoughts started happening around 2-3 weeks ago) I have been feeling even more masculine. Who knows, maybe I am just a masculine female? But the thing is that when I see my breasts not only does it make me feel slightly uncomfortable and confused, but it makes me think I'm somehow violating myself.? I'm not sure if this is related but, when my mother got me my first bra in 4th grade, I became very angry and refused to wear it for a week. It also secretly infuriates me when someone applies gender stereotypes to me, I do realise that many cisgendered people are angry about stereotypes too. And the idea of being a male does please me, very much. But I just really want to be a male, and I don't know how to tell if I'm just a female who wants to be a male, or if I am a male. If I had a choice, I would rather have been born as a cismale without these confusing thoughts. Also, I can't imagine being referred to by any name except my birth name. But when people call me things such as "little girl" it makes me angry. When people comment on how "masculine" I am or how I don't seem like a girl, it makes me happy. And, when I was younger my sister used to always call me her little brother and talk about how I am definitely not a girl. My mother is a strong Christian (I am too) so she's not very accepting of this side of me. And, sometimes I wonder if I actually am sinning by thinking these things. I know I can't help it, but she always says that God made us in His image and we should accept it. I recently convinced her to let me get my hair cut (it actually took two weeks to convince her) and at first just the thought of me having short hair disgusted her. Ever since my hair has been cut, she and my dad keep on saying how I look so much better with long hair and how I look too much like a boy now. I have told my sister that I think I'm a trans and she was completely accepting. But I'm afraid that if I ever come out to my mother as transgender that she won't accept me and will force me to look feminine. My whole life she has always tried to correct my behavior and would say that guys don't like manly girls. Another reason I'm not sure of my gender is because I am only attracted to males. I do realise that sexuality is different from gender, but it seems less likely than me just being a masculine female.
Any help is very greatly appreciated
I was hoping someone could help me with the confusion I'm having with my gender. First off, I feel like I should mention that my whole life I've never felt "feminine" at all. And I didn't ever want to feel feminine either. But here recently (these thoughts started happening around 2-3 weeks ago) I have been feeling even more masculine. Who knows, maybe I am just a masculine female? But the thing is that when I see my breasts not only does it make me feel slightly uncomfortable and confused, but it makes me think I'm somehow violating myself.? I'm not sure if this is related but, when my mother got me my first bra in 4th grade, I became very angry and refused to wear it for a week. It also secretly infuriates me when someone applies gender stereotypes to me, I do realise that many cisgendered people are angry about stereotypes too. And the idea of being a male does please me, very much. But I just really want to be a male, and I don't know how to tell if I'm just a female who wants to be a male, or if I am a male. If I had a choice, I would rather have been born as a cismale without these confusing thoughts. Also, I can't imagine being referred to by any name except my birth name. But when people call me things such as "little girl" it makes me angry. When people comment on how "masculine" I am or how I don't seem like a girl, it makes me happy. And, when I was younger my sister used to always call me her little brother and talk about how I am definitely not a girl. My mother is a strong Christian (I am too) so she's not very accepting of this side of me. And, sometimes I wonder if I actually am sinning by thinking these things. I know I can't help it, but she always says that God made us in His image and we should accept it. I recently convinced her to let me get my hair cut (it actually took two weeks to convince her) and at first just the thought of me having short hair disgusted her. Ever since my hair has been cut, she and my dad keep on saying how I look so much better with long hair and how I look too much like a boy now. I have told my sister that I think I'm a trans and she was completely accepting. But I'm afraid that if I ever come out to my mother as transgender that she won't accept me and will force me to look feminine. My whole life she has always tried to correct my behavior and would say that guys don't like manly girls. Another reason I'm not sure of my gender is because I am only attracted to males. I do realise that sexuality is different from gender, but it seems less likely than me just being a masculine female.
Any help is very greatly appreciated
Title: Re: Am I a transboy.?
Post by: Dena on March 04, 2017, 03:19:02 PM
Post by: Dena on March 04, 2017, 03:19:02 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place. Unfortunately you are the only one who can answer that question but from what you have posted it appears you are not comfortable with a feminine identity. You still could fall in to the non binary or transsexual area. That will be a job for you and a therapist to sort out but for now I have two links you may find useful. The first is our WIKI (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender) where you will learn about the transgender variations. The second link is "the transition channel" (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw) in which a therapist discussed transsexualism. Feel free to ask any questions you may have in this thread and we will do our best to answer them.
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Title: Re: Am I a transboy.?
Post by: Elis on March 04, 2017, 04:27:17 PM
Post by: Elis on March 04, 2017, 04:27:17 PM
I think it's quite common for people just starting to realise they're trans to aay 'I want to be this gender' rather than I am this gender due to a lot of internalised transphobia. Even still I have trouble saying it or sometimes see another trans person in this way. Once you start accepting yourself (whether as a masculine woman, a nb gender identity or a man) and present whichever way makes you feel comfortable it'll become easier.
And the whole 'God made us in his own image so trans people shouldn't transition' is just an argument bigoted people make to hide their bigotry. Using that argument no person should ever treat or cure themselves of any illnesses. GD is no different. Plus God didn't say a man should dress this way or a woman that way. People made up their own rules over time how certain genders should dress, act and behave. If you just be yourself that's how God made you.
And the whole 'God made us in his own image so trans people shouldn't transition' is just an argument bigoted people make to hide their bigotry. Using that argument no person should ever treat or cure themselves of any illnesses. GD is no different. Plus God didn't say a man should dress this way or a woman that way. People made up their own rules over time how certain genders should dress, act and behave. If you just be yourself that's how God made you.
Title: Re: Am I a transboy.?
Post by: GarrettGreen on March 18, 2017, 07:25:04 PM
Post by: GarrettGreen on March 18, 2017, 07:25:04 PM
You may be gender fluid. Try it out with friends for a bit and see how it feels (or at least just with your sister) [emoji846]
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Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Am I a transboy.?
Post by: David1987 on March 19, 2017, 09:18:30 AM
Post by: David1987 on March 19, 2017, 09:18:30 AM
Hello there
Well... pragmatically and gender-wise, what would you say it's the difference between a masculine female and a male? Maybe that could help you answer your question. Ask yourself (also, gender-wise), since there are no universal answer, what you think makes a female a female and a male a male.
I just to feel the same way, until I got more accepting of my gender identity, now I sorta just laugh inside when someone calls me a girl and I feel a bit sorry for them. Quite some people tend to notice how we are, sometimes even before or more than ourselves, while others do not allow themselves to see it.
As for the name, maybe try out (online?) how it feels to be called by a masculine name. It might surprise you.
Well, in that case wouldn't have God also make you think these things or feel the way you feel? Maybe the things that are happening are the exact things that should be happening, and you doing something about it it's part of the "plan".
Quote from: youngandconfused on March 04, 2017, 02:14:29 PM
First off, I feel like I should mention that my whole life I've never felt "feminine" at all. And I didn't ever want to feel feminine either. But here recently (these thoughts started happening around 2-3 weeks ago) I have been feeling even more masculine. Who knows, maybe I am just a masculine female?
And the idea of being a male does please me, very much. But I just really want to be a male, and I don't know how to tell if I'm just a female who wants to be a male, or if I am a male.
Well... pragmatically and gender-wise, what would you say it's the difference between a masculine female and a male? Maybe that could help you answer your question. Ask yourself (also, gender-wise), since there are no universal answer, what you think makes a female a female and a male a male.
Quote from: youngandconfused on March 04, 2017, 02:14:29 PMAlso, I can't imagine being referred to by any name except my birth name. But when people call me things such as "little girl" it makes me angry. When people comment on how "masculine" I am or how I don't seem like a girl, it makes me happy. And, when I was younger my sister used to always call me her little brother and talk about how I am definitely not a girl.
I just to feel the same way, until I got more accepting of my gender identity, now I sorta just laugh inside when someone calls me a girl and I feel a bit sorry for them. Quite some people tend to notice how we are, sometimes even before or more than ourselves, while others do not allow themselves to see it.
As for the name, maybe try out (online?) how it feels to be called by a masculine name. It might surprise you.
Quote from: youngandconfused on March 04, 2017, 02:14:29 PMAnd, sometimes I wonder if I actually am sinning by thinking these things. I know I can't help it, but she always says that God made us in His image and we should accept it.
Well, in that case wouldn't have God also make you think these things or feel the way you feel? Maybe the things that are happening are the exact things that should be happening, and you doing something about it it's part of the "plan".