Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I find my filters are slowly shutting off unconsciously, which is very different from when I did it on purpose, lol.

For instance, crossing my legs at the knee just happens sometimes in situations where the boys aren't in the way (laying down usually). By the time I notice this going on the bottom knee is so warm and comfy that moving it is unagreeable, it's a good thing I don't mind so much anymore...
Also find my hips moving when I walk without thinking about it, this I do mind a bit since it happens in public. It's a pretty subtle thing, just sort of moves forward into my step, but when I notice I wonder how long that's been going on and who might've noticed, sometimes I stop it, sometimes I just crack a smile and keep going.

Anyone else find little things like this even pre HRT?

Yurp

Oh yes! Lots of little things. I've always been able to cross my legs properly (and can still double cross), when sat on a stool, I often sit legs crossed, hands on knees. When stood, I'll stand with one leg bent and typically hands on hips.. I talk with my hands (lots of gestures), and here's the killer, I recently went for an orthopaedic shoe fitting (long story), and part of the fitting is to walk on a treadmill. I walk the line, the lady doing the fitting was 'uh, mm, ok, you have a good line, and launch, and good foot function overall'. That was a real surprise.

I'm not on hrt, and I still malefail.. I wonder why >.<

Rowan

Hmm, I can only double cross if I try, not something that would happen automatically yet anyway, maybe when I lose more weight, but I'll be on HRT by then too

I relate to a lot of this even before coming out to anyone. Sometimes my hand and arm actions. When talking about something I'm excited about my voice gets higher pitched and I talk rapidly. I'm a huge bucket of malefail.

The way I walk & run (people always laugh at the way I run, even at work. Even as a kid)
Not into sports
Not into cars
Not driven by sex (still a virgin at 35)
Strange feminine like mannerisms (standing, sometimes sitting, etc) and I do this unintentionally.

So yea, I relate.

I've always liked crossing my legs with my one leg bent so my heel is on the chair and my other leg is over it. It's somewhat similar to how guys cross their legs, but the bent leg is below the leg with the foot on the floor, rather than above, and knees can be together, so it can work with a dress or skirt if it is long enough. Is there a name to this style?

Quote from: NotSure81 on March 14, 2017, 10:38:40 PM
I relate to a lot of this even before coming out to anyone.

Just to clarify, this is just coming out to yourself, IE: the day you admitted in your head that you are transgender, no more thinking it's a fetish, or you're a crossdresser, or anything like that... That moment is when I finally was able to start losing weight, because I saw myself for who I was, and it's a constant reminder of how much damage I've done to myself over the years, because to me, it doesn't matter if I'm a fat guy, but it matters a lot if I'm a fat girl.

 :laugh:

Yeah, this whole thing has been pretty bizarre. I'm just glad there's a platform now, and organizations like this exist to help us out.  Honestly, things like that would happen to me even like so long ago I just didn't want to think about it.  Denials a bitch, I'm just glad that parts over and I'm on my way to fix my problem.

Quote from: Daniellekai on March 14, 2017, 11:17:42 PM
Just to clarify, this is just coming out to yourself, IE: the day you admitted in your head that you are transgender, no more thinking it's a fetish, or you're a crossdresser, or anything like that... That moment is when I finally was able to start losing weight, because I saw myself for who I was, and it's a constant reminder of how much damage I've done to myself over the years, because to me, it doesn't matter if I'm a fat guy, but it matters a lot if I'm a fat girl.

Once the rubbish in my head was gone and the self policing stopped...which I never thought I did, but ..yes...I did. I began to relax and my mannerisms have relaxed with me. My wife and Daughter were talking to themselves in the car backing out of the driveway saying to each other how feminie I had become and what had triggered that conversation was the way I was standing...

I am not sure what they meant exactly because I wasn't thinking about my posture...I tend to talk more melodiously now than I did, I am much more aware of my space...most of those things I haven't had to think about... I find myself walking one foot in front of the other and my hips begin to swing ever so slightly....then of course I notice and fluff up my rhythm. Not all these thing all the time but each one of them several times along with a heap of other subtle questions...

Liz   

Yeah. There's a few things. Not much, but some. Esp. things that had to be more subconscious than conscious.

I definitely cry a lot more.. Almost a nightly (or daily) occurance. I guess thatd happen when you forbid yourself to do certain things for so long. Flood gates are open.