Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello!
I have been floating around this forum for the last 2 weeks or so but thought I should also do an introduction.
This is actually my second account, the first one I started logged me out of the forum on my phone.. I was using Tapatalk and didn't have a password for Susan's place and also hadn't accepted the confirmation email.. I got stuck in an endless loop of computer errors.. Oops. It seemed like my only option was to start again :P

I originally downloaded Tapatalk to use with a different crafting forum, but I had a few things on my mind and thought I would see if there were any transgender forums using the same app. Did a quick search and Susan's place popped up.
I think with my first post I just wanted to vent out my current train of thought.. Sorry about that.

About me:
I'm a cis lesbian living in Australia, and currently dating a transgendered woman. We have been together for about a year and a half now and I couldn't be happier.

So really I'm only here to support, or be in the "significant other" section, ... I feel like a bit of an imposter viewing a place for transgender persons to chat about their issues.

But everyone has been very welcoming and I've seen a few posts about sexuality/ identifying as lesbian while being MtF or looking for tips on makeup or handy hints to know as a femme woman, and those are things I can definitely offer a bit of advice with if its wanted.
My partner and I are both extremely feminine and a lesbian couple :)

Xxx


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My partner Savannah and I <3


(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170318/538f493f7df2e40690bc6cce266a42fc.jpg)


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Welcome!! You and Savannah are a beautiful couple!!

Lilly,
Welcome! You are such a cute couple. SO's are fantastic and have been known to need to talk things out too. Support and being supported, you have come to a good, safe place. See you around.
Moni

Welcome Lilly and Savannah

Hi Lilly and Savanna  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Please be sure to review:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Hugs

V M

Yay! the official welcome message, Thank you, I made sure I read some of the links I saw posted for other peoples welcomes/ for newbies.

I did wonder how many people might know Savannah or I from facebook.. She has so many friends from all over the world! The transgender community really seems to stick together (I might even say moreso than the L/G/B)

I joined using an anonymous name (Lilly) as I first wasn't sure what I might want to post about or talk about, or if I wanted to anonymously talk through things that might come to my mind regarding relationship type things, but I don't think thats the case, I'm a very open person and I don't think there is anything I need to say anonymously. besides, I've never been happier :)
So for any friends of Savannah's who might happen to come across this, you would know me as Karrie on facebook.
(just so you don't think someone is stealing Savannah's or mine pictures :P )

Awww cute, welcome! :3

Hi Lilly and Savanna

Welcome to Susan's, You two look great and look very happy together.

I look forward to reading your posts.

Huggs Niki Marie

Both looking fantastic and wonderful to hear about your relationship particularly how happy you are together.

It has been a worry about the possibility of finding love with another woman should my wife ever decide she wants a guy instead of a girl in her life. As living proof of the possibility it's great to see you both.

Looking forward to hearing more about..... well everything tbh but for now just a big warm welcome x

It is possible that even if a spouse may be very supportive of the transition... A wife may still feel that she is a heterosexual woman, this can't be helped sometimes. Just as you may need to express your gender, she may need to be true to her sexuality. That doesn't mean platonically people can't support each other though :)

And if it comes to it, there are always women out there who are interested in dating other women or non binary folk.


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Here, have another favourite picture of mine :)
Having a girly shopping day with Savannah.

I like these pictures of Savannah and I.. They break so many stereotypes of lesbians and transgender people. I'm not butch and she isn't scary as the media would make out [emoji1]

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170319/5cf026e65d599e95498dc772b1252a20.jpg)


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Very true and that is exactly what I'm prepared for in the end. 

Ultimately I just want her to be happy and if that means she needs someone else I'd do my best to make it happen for her.

She is definitely hetro which is a problem for obvious reasons but she just might have some wiggle room in her orientation between her thoughts and feelings as when the notion takes her to... take me it's amazing.

It's early days and we're both still changing a lot physically, mentally & emotionally as we undo the past couple of decades and get to know each other.

Fun times ahead with so many possibilities x

Lovely pic both looking fab x

Lilly, it really does very. I'm in the unique stop of being someone who has transitioned and then having a husband who is on the trans spectrum themselves, but that is a story for another time. Anyways welcome and I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

Thank you everyone :)

And guess what! Facebook just reminded me with its "memories" thing that it's been a year since Savannah's public transition.

Well, we celebrated her transition a few weeks ago on the real date, but the video didn't air on TV until today one year ago


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Fantastic and congrats :)

It still amazes me how fast a year can disappear but great when the year can be linked to life changes x

Did anyone see this? :)
We had only been dating a few months back then

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170320/7002bc6ee51b5d36a7214c157ea4137c.jpg)


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Not seen it but will check it out once both my eyes are open :) x

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More things for significant others..
Surprisingly decent considering its source (cosmopolitan)

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a40339/dating-a-trans-girl-information/


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Staying with my girlfriend this last few days ( we went to a Cyndi lauper and Blondie concert! Woohoo! )

On a different topic, we were chatting at home one night and ended up googling my partners name.. We found that someone had been taking her Facebook pictures and uploading them to a public Pinterest folder.. A folder dedicated to her name and labelled "inspirational transgender women"
(At least they were only taking the nice "out to dinner" style photos and not some of the sexier poses and costumes she also shares amongst friends)

I think it's quite common to make a folder of people you find inspirational.. I know myself and Savannah often screenshot women or styles we like and keep them in a folder on our phone for reference.
But taking someone's photos and uploading them to a different social media site in a public folder, is a bit different to keeping them for your own reference.... :/


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We are currently in Spain for Facial feminisation surgery, my poor girlfriend is still recovering, but you can watch our time with Facial Team on Savannah's channel if you like

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCkP9YXrdxDDgxXErMb50PJw


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Hi Lilly, I must say you and your partner are a really cute couple - Can I ask did she ever have doubts if she passes? Because admittedly, if I walked past her in the street I would not even begin to guess that's how fab she looks.  ;D

Can I ask if you guys met before or after she began to transition?

Reason why I ask is that I've been having some real doubts about myself for a little while now and I think they're a bit too big to simply sweep under the rug.

One of my biggest concerns is that I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman for 8 years (in 2 weeks nonetheless) and up until now have never gave off that I'm anything other than her cis straight male other half. She's really amazing but I do believe she would see herself as a "red blooded "straight woman and am so scared I'd lose her if she thought I'm anything other than what I am. She says she likes that I currently look "rugged" with a nearly shaven head, tattoos, beard etc so to say being anything other would put her off is an understatement.

Thank you, and good luck to your amazing lady - I'm sure she'll be fine.  :)

You guys are so cute and inspirational!

I just finished watching Season 1 of Sense8. I LOVE the lesbian couple in the series-transwoman Jamie Clayton's character, Nomi, and her girlfriend, Amanita, and the authentic shots of the San Francisco Dyke March included in the show.

Media that includes positive LGBTQ characters helps chip away at bigotry.

I'm an asexual nontransitioning, nonbinary, partial transmale. I look like a petite female and dress androgynously.

@reallynotsure83 she does ask me every now and then if I think she passes, I of course reassure her that I think she is beautiful.

Unfortunately, somehow she still manages to get misgendered at restaurants sometimes, which I think is really odd.. I mean.. hello.. boobs [emoji15] and she dresses so feminine so I don't understand.
I think it's just subconscious for some people when serving a table to use sir maybe..

I met her when she was still in her androgynous stages, before her public transition. When she was with me she always dressed up feminine, but day to day she still worked as a man, that was a year and a half ago now, this year has been a year of many surgeries for her to look the way she wants to look and to feel comfortable in herself.
Many of the surgeries people say she doesn't need, as she had a great figure anyway, but she wants to let her inner butterfly out of its cocoon, and the feminisation surgeries help with that.


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@reallynotsure83
I'm a lesbian... and I fell for her, because I saw the woman she was, even when she was in androgynous mode without makeup etc
But she had been living part time as Savannah for many years.

It's true that some long term relationships can't last through transition though.. and I think that's just something that can't be avoided, if the woman you are with identifies as heterosexual... chances are a relationship won't be able to continue.
Savannah and her ex wife are friends, but her ex identified as a heterosexual woman, and was not interested in a relationship with a woman.

So if those are the features your partner of 8 years likes about you... it's very possible the relationship won't last. It's worth a try, but sometimes you have to weigh up what you want for yourself, and the possibilities the future may hold if you are true to yourself.

I never would have been attracted to, or have met Savannah if she hadn't transitioned.



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Misgender at a Restaurant when your cleaned up clearly feminine, sounds like plain up ignorance to me, showing what their​ personal views is all they are at. Slap dem!

Quote from: Rachel_Christina on May 09, 2017, 12:51:17 PM
Misgender at a Restaurant when your cleaned up clearly feminine, sounds like plain up ignorance to me, showing what their​ personal views is all they are at. Slap dem!

Yes, that would set off my wife.  She does not tolerate that sort of thing happening to me.  Which, of course, I make no attempt to stop. lol  I sit back and watch her in action.

If it's not intentional or malicious, Savannah just lets it go most of the time, and talks to me about it later.
Also it can be said so quickly or you hardly hear the "sir" amongst the sentence.. it takes you a minute to think, did they just say that?
If it is clear, or said more than once, or there is a pause where it is able to pull them up, then we do. But most of the time they are just serving tables and don't even notice themselves.

Heck, just last month I was at the service station and standing in a line of men, when I got to the counter the woman said Sir to me. .. and I know that's obviously because she has just said sir to the last 5 people in a row etc. I told Savannah about it too since she had recently had another resturant misgender experience. It was kind of funny.

If it's done clearly and numerous times, we sure as heck would stand up to that.


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They can't get rid of English gender-specific pronouns fast enough for me!

I'm spoiled from living in Thailand.
Here, people gender themselves with reflexive pronouns as they speak, but pronouns are seldom used.
"Kow" can mean either gender (him or her/he or she), and most people use age pronouns- "pee," for older,   or "nong," for younger- in place of either gender pronouns or names.

For example,  "Pee told me to come."

"Koon" is used instead of Mr. or Mrs., and nongender-specific nicknames used instead of names. I.e., "Koon Dome wants to come also."

@lilly3 I think it's true what you say in that people like who/what they like and sometimes, we just need to accept that even if it hurts. I do know that I can't keep secrets forever, and one day I may just have to "woman up" and have that convo.