Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Artesia on March 25, 2017, 07:09:40 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Came out to my Friend Thursday
Post by: Artesia on March 25, 2017, 07:09:40 AM
Post by: Artesia on March 25, 2017, 07:09:40 AM
I went to Adepticon on Thursday, and on the way home told my friend, whom I was staying with at the time, about my decision to transition. He asked me two questions about it, then dropped the subject and continued to discuss gaming. He gave me a ride the next day to my parents house, and everything stayed pretty much normal between us. We'll see how things progress from here.
Now for family.
Now for family.
Title: Re: Came out to my Friend Thursday
Post by: Denise on March 25, 2017, 09:48:51 AM
Post by: Denise on March 25, 2017, 09:48:51 AM
Artesia,
I'm not sure how many people you've told but this is my experience - GUYS DON'T CARE. Your experience is EXACTLY the same as I've had over and over and over.... and over and over.
Telling cis-female friends is a totally different story. They will, potentially, ask questions (as long as you give them explicit permission) until you are late for whatever you have next. I told about a 20 people at work individually, always over lunch and with only one maybe two exceptions the guys didn't ask more than 1 question. The ladies however were a different story.
Funny thing was a male Senior Executive Vice president actually skipped a conference call to talk about it. That really shocked me. Bottom line - allow plenty of time when you tell women and you can probably tell guys in an elevator trip (Yes, I did that once from the 7th floor to the lobby!)
I'm not sure how many people you've told but this is my experience - GUYS DON'T CARE. Your experience is EXACTLY the same as I've had over and over and over.... and over and over.
Telling cis-female friends is a totally different story. They will, potentially, ask questions (as long as you give them explicit permission) until you are late for whatever you have next. I told about a 20 people at work individually, always over lunch and with only one maybe two exceptions the guys didn't ask more than 1 question. The ladies however were a different story.
Funny thing was a male Senior Executive Vice president actually skipped a conference call to talk about it. That really shocked me. Bottom line - allow plenty of time when you tell women and you can probably tell guys in an elevator trip (Yes, I did that once from the 7th floor to the lobby!)
Title: Re: Came out to my Friend Thursday
Post by: Dena on March 25, 2017, 11:54:28 AM
Post by: Dena on March 25, 2017, 11:54:28 AM
Quote from: Denise on March 25, 2017, 09:48:51 AMI think I have been on an elevator like that. It was a heavy duty freight elevator in the TWA section at LAX. It must have taken a minute to go up one floor. ;D
That really shocked me. Bottom line - allow plenty of time when you tell women and you can probably tell guys in an elevator trip (Yes, I did that once from the 7th floor to the lobby!)
Title: Re: Came out to my Friend Thursday
Post by: amberwaves on March 25, 2017, 02:13:13 PM
Post by: amberwaves on March 25, 2017, 02:13:13 PM
I have noticed no correlation between the reaction and gender of the person told. Some have questions some don't. I think it has more to do with the individual.
Title: Re: Came out to my Friend Thursday
Post by: Artesia on March 25, 2017, 02:19:37 PM
Post by: Artesia on March 25, 2017, 02:19:37 PM
I don't have a lot of friends. My one female friend knew before my wife. I talked to her before I knew myself. Even before I went to a therapist. It was a "I'm thinking, maybe" situation. We talked for several hours, but she has been fine with it, and has offered to help pick makeup colors for me. My co-workers, so far, have all been happy for me and were wondering why my demeanor had changed at work. I still have a couple to talk to about it.