Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Along with lifelong depression, I am sure a large part due to repressed feelings of wanting to be female, I also suffer from OCD which is primarily just obsessive thoughts, like repetitive counting or music phrases. I believe that as a kid, wanting to be a girl was not compatible with a strict father or culturally accepted way back 50 years ago. I believe that I started to have obsessive thoughts as a protective mechanism against emotional destruction. I remember while in the family car counting the lines on the highway, 1, 2,3,4,5 over and over again. Instead of dealing with my thoughts and fantasies of being a girl, I blocked those thoughts with the counting, especially in the presence of my father. Now that I have accepted that I am transgender, the OCD has calmed down somewhat. I was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience or suffered from OCD. This is different by the way from Transgender OCD, although I do obsess about shopping for and dressing up in panties, pantyhose and camisoles under my clothes.

Well, if you suppress the central part of your unique and authentic identity it's gonna come out one way or the other.   Usually sideways.  It's a pretty simple equation.  The kind of pressure we face when we are totally alone and in the closet with our fears is unbelievable.  Our mind/body is a container that is not built for those high psi's.  Eventually the pressure WILL cause the rivets to start to pop.  Think of old submarine movies where the ship just keeps sinking deeper and deeper and deeper into the ocean and the pressure just keeps building and building and building until the hull starts to creak because it just wasn't build to stand that kind of pressure.

Mine came out in clinical depression culminating in three separate suicidal crises over the course of my life.

Intresting. I got OCD and mild autism. We do what we gotta do to survive <3

Let's see, ADD, overeating, and general depression leading to inactivity, failure to get regular checkups, overall poor healthcare routines... Not as severe appearing as others, but can lead to premature death all the same.