Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi all, just signed up and have a question that I would be willing to bet someone here has run into and solved. I'm 68 and this year I finally took my head out of my hieny where it has been hiding all of my life. Found a wonderful counselor who recommended an MD for HRT which I have been doing. MD referred me to a urologist for Orchiectomy. Only downside there is that the surgery date is still 2 1/2 months away.  :( Oh well huh? What's a couple of months after starting about 50 years late? HRT is having such a profound and wonderful and much anticipated effects which brings me to my question. No amount of money spent on clothes, wigs, make up is going to make me look like anything other than a man in women's clothes, sad but very true. With such wonderful growth I am now starting to look like a man with breasts so . . . With no intention, desire or even ability to stop HRT is there someone here with a similar problem? What I'm thinking of is (if there is such a thing) a sports bra but what I need is a minimizing sports bra. Is there such a thing? Where would I go online for this? I have been searching online but didn't locate what I need. One place had maximum support D cup. Don't need that, at least not yet. Any help?

Welcome, Chris.  I've been on HRT for two months, and I recently had to start wearing sports bras under my male disguise.  They have different styles, but many/most of them are minimizing.  You want the type that have no shape at the front, it's just like a stretchy cropped T-shirt.  I get mine at Walmart.  I had no hassle going into the men's fitting room to try them on.  You can do this!

BTW, I'm 62. We old farts rule.

Thanks KathyLauren, I was looking online for what you describe. I found many but with fancy straps, seams. colors & such. I don't think I looked at WalMart but will right now. Do these "T shirts" as you describe them actually any minimizing effect?

Walmart online has some Danskin ones that work pretty well.  I have been looking for at least medium support as the light versions really don't do much to compress that area.  They also help with sensitivity issues.

Chris, KathyLauren idea of Walmart is great, they have several that are plain give support without having a real cup design and should work for you.

Thanks everybody.  :) I did in fact take KathyLauren's advice and I have ordered two different styles in two different sizes (I was unsure how they would fit) from Walmart, supposed to arrive on Monday. Oddly Walmart had a better selection of the type I was looking for than all those other places. I couldn't possibly describe what a joy it is that I FINALLY need this. Happy happy days for sure.  :eusa_dance:

Hi Chris

Welcome to Susan's Place.

For me Im still on the front lines of a construction company so still lifting etc. HRT for 4 months almost and yes things are very tender. I find the LuLu Lemon sports bas work best for me. The material holds things in very well and the protection from rubbing etc is excellent. I know they can be a bit pricey but out of the other options available this was the best for my situation.

Best of luck

Niki Marie

Niki, do you have a link for LuLu? I will look into them as your description sounds exactly like what I am looking for. Thanks. I've only a little time on HRT this time but several years ago I was taking hormones for 6 months but without a counselor or an MD. I had driven down to Mexico and bought 6 months worth. Not recommended doing that today with the things going on at the border. Driving back into the U.S. I got stopped by the border patrol, let me tell ya those folks have no sense of humor. They let me go and didn't take my prize away but I can't imagine how that would turn out today. But anyway I had a 6 month head start, thought that would be fine, that I could settle for that and it was fine for awhile, it was so wonderful but so small. With that head start and now being back on HRT it became evident quickly that I would need to find the right bras and soon.

Hey Chris

Heres the link to LuLu Lemon shop.lululemon.com/

I usually shop in store as sizing can be a bit tricky. If thats not possible I would order one size up from what your thinking. I am a small girl with not much growth to speak of yet. You will need to make sure the bra is snug but gives you the ability to expand as you grow. If you have a girlfriend or wife you can go with it will be easier to eye the sizing. Good thing is you can go home leave the tags on then go back and exchange easily if required.

Good luck

Huggs Niki Marie

Hi Chris and welcome to the site.

There are a great many members around your age here. I am about 10 years younger but have similar feelings.

I think you should be careful with bras that are too tight. You don't want to inhibit the growth, just kind of hide it. You could try sports shops on line. Amazon is always a good choice. I know Long Tall Sally's is an on line source that many on here swear by(not sure what they have in the way of sports bras). I use Calvin Klein Modern bras most of the time. No real cup sizes to worry about, some are cotton others lycra, not too tight but do make one look more like a really buff guy.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

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Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

Thanks for the Calvin Klein tip Joanna. I checked them out and the style is very much what I'm looking for but (there's always a dang but isn't there?) with all of them I looked at the largest size listed was XL and most of those were out of stock. :( Their chart lists band size in inches but only for S, M, L and doesn't say what XL would be. I think what I will do is order one in XL and see how it fits. Some of this is confusing but I am having fun. Thanks again everybody.

Just saw this. Can't speak much about this since I haven't moved on hormones or anything but thought it might be helpful. https://www.buzzfeed.com/elenamgarcia/i-tried-a-bunch-of-sports-bras-under-25


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Thanks dori, checked out your link and liked what she had to say. Went to The Target web site and surprise, they carry sizes I haven't seen anywhere else. They actually have sizes that I think will fit me correctly so I ordered 2. I've got like 6 bras coming now 4 of which I have doubts about fitting and will most likely be returned. If her review is accurate and they do in fact fit I think I have found what I've been looking for and will order more. If I am reading their sizing chart correctly the size I ordered is for both B and C cups, right now I need B but with a little more time and a little luck. :)

Thanks for all the suggestions, it really is a huge help. I just wasn't finding anything on my own.

I have one of those champion ones, and it is really comfy.  The only down side to it I have found is that the straps are a little thick so they can show through guy mode clothes a bit.  I have a couple of Under Armour ones that definitely aren't as cheap but are super comfy and don't show through as bad.  An undershirt covers up either one under a polo shirt unless you're really reaching for something.  Either one is a compression fit that will squish things down a size or so to make things more discrete.  The UA bra has removable pads, the Champion does not.

The UA I mentioned: https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-2633406/under-armour-bras-medium-impact-sports-bra-1257632.jsp?color=Shatter%20Pink&prdPV=3

Here's an up date on the bras. Received 4 of one brand and 2 of another brand today. This is gonna take some getting used to, I've been back on HRT for only a fairly short time but several years ago spent 6 months on HRT and had small breasts for all of those years plus some enhancement already this time. Never before have the girls been strapped down, every minute of every day free to do all the jiggling and bouncing they wanted. The bras do very well at hiding the girls, at flattening them which is also gonna take getting used to. Move my hand in front of my chest and nothing or even walking and no jiggle is shocking, it's as horrible as years ago before HRT. The girls are my link to sanity, something about me that is perfectly natural and perfectly normal. Yep, this bra thing is gonna take some getting used to. Oh well, everyone has problems and I can think of far worse ones than this.

All isn't bad news though. My MD had set up my appointment with the Urologist but not until June 15th and at that time he was gonna set a date for surgery, geez could be another 6 months from now. Talked with the MD today and she talked with the surgeon, he is now putting me on the surgery schedule for as soon as after the June 15th appointment as possible. Should save a few months of waiting for that, very good news indeed. Now if I can just get used to a bra and the girls disappearing.

This bra buying is quite frustrating. Just had the third brand delivered (from Target), all sports bras and all are 42 inch band, the largest I had found. One brand isn't too bad of a fit, slightly too snug. Another brand is too tight to where it's uncomfortable. The third brand, the ones just delivered are so small I cannot even get into. 42's all they are. Last night I found a place that carries women's plus sizes and they have a 44 B cup but at a higher price each than 4 bras were from Walmart. Plus they weren't the plain style I had been looking for, seams and fancy that would show through a shirt and the shoulder straps are right up against the neck, impossible to hide with most any shirt. I guess it's a good thing this is all fun. It is fun isn't it?  ???

Sizes are a lie. Clothing is best bought where you can try it first.

H&M 174 Oxfort St London, tried something, I don't remember what, size 8. Instabuy.
A few hundred metres further, H&M Oxford St with Regent St, gorgeous dress, size 8 won't fit. Err well, I'll take size 10 thanks.

Quote from: Chris8080 on April 06, 2017, 04:36:06 PM
This bra buying is quite frustrating.

Contact Erica at A Sophisticated Pair.  She can probably help you find something.

sophisticatedpair.com (http://sophisticatedpair.com)

Thanks for the link AnneK, your thoughtfulness is appreciated. I only looked at their sports bras and they had four. The style I liked best does come in the 44 inch band I need but only in DDD. I'm not sure but I think I'm glad I don't need DDD. The next best choice didn't go past a 40 inch band. One was no larger than a 30 inch band in FF so no joy at this place but I really do appreciate your effort to help. Geez, I don't even know what FF is.  ???

I have several sports bras that I wear for various activities, some with light support and others with heavy support.  The heavy support models, Nike and New Balance do flatten my chest out quite effectively, though I am not actually attempting to hide anything.  As long as the SB does not have any sort of formed cup, the more support they offer, the more flattening they do.

Before I changed my name and came out completely at work, I would wear my Nike Pro Dri-Fit and it kept everything compressed and hid some perpetually hard nipples.

Quoteso no joy at this place

As I said, contact Erica.  She can probably help you.  Perhaps she can make a special order or have something that's not listed on the web site.

I am so envious of those that can pass in public because I can't see that ever being me. Thus the need to find the right bras. 6'4", 260 pounds and looking much like an NFL linebacker even though I'm not wearing the shoulder pads, size 13 shoe and hands that can easily palm a basketball and a voice that sounds much more like frog than a female. I can't see any amount of HRT, money spent on clothes, wigs and makeup would ever make me look like anything other than a man in women's clothes. Not my intent to complain, just stating it like it is. Something I had to face up to many years ago. On the bright side I am finally making big improvements and am much happier than I have ever been. I had to admit that I would never pass in public and it is what it is but the future looks brighter than ever.

Also, you don't have to limit yourself to that one store.  There are plenty of bra shops around that are happy to fit men & trans women.  As a specialty shop, they'll have a much better selection and service than Walmart, Target etc..  I bought my bras from a store in Toronto that makes a point of serving men, trans women, cross dressers etc..  To even get hired there, you have to be comfortable fitting men.  They'll even fit cis women!   ;)

So, check out the stores in your area.  You may be able to find a bra shop that has or can get what you need.  Perhaps others here can make some recommendations.

Thanks again AnneK. Yes a store like that would make things a bunch simpler. I imagine anyways. I live in the gender wilderness of the south, such a store assuming I could locate one would be at best a one way full day trip. I live in the largest town in quite a wide area, it's so big in fact that there are two stores in town where bras can be purchased, Walmart and a Stage store. Not everywhere has the attitude of the gender issue improved like it has in some bigger cities, there is little doubt that if I went into either of those stores here and asked to be fitted with a bra I would be tarred, feathered and hung from the nearest tree. Without exaggerating or trying to be funny it would make the front page of the local paper.

Thus my quest for the proper bra to keep things "private". So far I have gotten by with a snug T shirt and a loose shirt over that but progress now has that barely working.

I will perhaps contact Erica but I gotta admit that I am less than thrilled at the prospect of their prices. If it comes to that guess I'll have to bite the bullet.

I really do appreciate all the replies and suggestions, I have learned a bunch so please keep them coming.

QuoteI will perhaps contact Erica but I gotta admit that I am less than thrilled at the prospect of their prices. If it comes to that guess I'll have to bite the bullet.

One thing I learned a long time ago is that the lowest price is very often not the best price.  You often lose something else to obtain that low price.  One of those things you lose is service.  Even stuff you buy in Walmart may be poorer quality than you'd get elsewhere, as the manufacturers have to cut somewhere, to meet the price Walmart is willing to pay.

As I understand it, you've already spent a lot on bras that don't work for you.  Perhaps it might have been cheaper to buy a good one, from a good store at the outset.  Also, by shopping at an independent store, you're helping a small business owner, not a large multi-national corporation that really doesn't need your help.

Oh sure, there she goes applying logic.  :icon_eek:

You are of course correct and I do agree with the logic. I think after I find what I need that is what I will end up with. Until then I think it's a good thing the bras I have so far weren't $70 to $80 each. I found one place searching for plus sizes that has 44 B in stock and is at least close to the correct style at $40. Correct style is important, as I explained above it would be quite an ugly scene for me to go out around here looking like I am wearing a bra. Or look like I should be for that matter. Most of the bras I have are fine except for the fit, I think four different brands so far, all 42 inch bands and none of them are close to the same size.

QuoteUntil then I think it's a good thing the bras I have so far weren't $70 to $80 each.

And how does that compare with what you've spent already?  While buying "off the rack" at department stores often works, if you don't fit what's considered normal, you'll be disappointed.  This is where a proper shop, with experienced staff can make all the difference.

Even cis women often wear the wrong size bra because they've never been fitted to determine their proper size.  When I decided to start wearing a bra full time, I could have wasted a lot of time & money trying to find a cheap bra.  But instead, I went to a bra store that is happy to help men & trans women find a good bra.  I am quite happy with the results.  I've even recommended them to a female friend who needs a really large bra.

If you want to get serious about it, try these garments made for the job:   http://www.f2mbinders.com/

Their garments work great and I have been using them to conceal mine.   

Wow, I had no idea of those. I had seen binders mentioned on this forum but didn't know what was meant. I just ordered 1 each of two different styles to try them. Book marked the site and if these fit well I think Chris will be a happy camper. Since it was my intention to wear a T shirt over the sports bra this could kill two birds with one stone. I wish they offered a better sizing system than XL, 2XL etc since some 2 XL shirts fit me and some don't but I will see when they arrive. Also no info on length, they say they can be tucked in but it's a rare off the shelf shirt that even reaches my belt.

Thank you so very much RachelReaper