Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well after reading the late transition thread, i was keen to find out what triggered other young people to transition, how you found out, how you dealt with parents etc?

I had a very conservative upbringing, masculine reinforcement, punishment for signs of femininity. my parents wanted me to join the militery, and point blank refused to let me do more artistic things... (they went nuts when i did art at high school) Throughout my teens i borrowed my sister and mothers clothes and felt very dirty 'crossdressing' thanks to my upbringing, but finally realising it wasnt CDing, but that i WAS a girl, and SHOULD wear these things. Our family getting broadband saved my life! i finally could surf the net and find information, mainly ts youth sites and infact, this chatroom and forum ^_^. I could NEVER do anything at home, but when i arrived at university, i was finally free, and out from under thier thumb, and after 3 suicide attempts in my teens, one of which landed me in hospital, with my parents refusal to accept i was in pain and depressed, i had to do SOMETHING. so i began, only to come out to them a year later, to be treated like a mentally ill deviant, and banished from my family home... 

What triggered you to transition? why were you able to early? and how did you find out about it?
R :police:

When we first got our internet connection and a computer years ago I started looking on the internet to see like what the heck was wrong with me, and is there any cure for why I'm doing this.  (intense like crossdressing and feelings at the time.  Used to like pray every night I'd just wake up and be how I want lol).  Anyways though, I finally found out about being TS and all that stuff that goes with it, but it seemed distant to me and impossible to achieve.

When I was in high school I gave up at the idea of it, feeling as if it could never happen to me, and that this was something that was near impossible to do.  Then after a failed suicide attempt in my junior year, I pretty much came out to my parents.  Been seeing a therapist like ever since and blah blah blah up to HRT right now.  It still feels distant as in like I doubt HRT and everything, but whatever, it's the only option I have left really lol.

This sounds clasic...  But as of my earlyest memory I knew...  And from stories told by my parrents I knew pretty much the moment I could comunicate...
I remember being 7ish I guess and asking my mom to buy some wonderful purple fabric to make a dress out of... Instead I got slacks X(
In kindergarden My teachers started forcing me away from my female friends and I quickly learned through negitive reinforcement that noone understood and noone would help me...

I found out about TS through a television show on PBS and started doing research in the school and local libraries <no internet>  I came out to my grandmother who tried to help... Id spend the weekends at her place helping her out and she arranged for a few outfits and such. We discused the future and how to best do things... She allways knew there was something diffrent about me.  It was our little secret or so I thought...

My dad found out, I guess I was 15 and he beat the living hell out of me... He literaly threatened me with transition... I wanted to scream yes to all his questions, but was so affraid I said no and claimed it was just a phaze <exactly what he wanted to hear>

I spent 2 weeks at home recovering before returning to school at which point I went from the nice sweet kid out to please to a mean nasty vicious punkrocker... I had been beaten back into the closet so severly *Sighs*

At 18 I started to think about it again, but it seemed like an unreachable goal so I drank myself stupid and snorted myself silly for a few years... Full fledged puberty finaly hit and really messed me up....

At 23 I came to accept I had to do something or Id end up dead. Came out to all my closest friends...  Later that year met my Ex... <Lets not get into that though> And opertunity finaly presented itsself and I started transition at 24... stopped and restarted while 25 and yeah... thats about it...

My family hates me, accept for my father... My friends are slowly abandonng me as they realize this is a perminant thing and yeah...  Thats about it...

I felt exactely the same Lynn when I was 24, I was almost in a panic.......I got diagnosed as Gender Dyphoric at 24.....but it just seemed to go on and on and before you know it your in your 40's and your still not done yet......I could blame the U.K NHS who have definitely been a major brick wall for me and many other transsexuals but I also blame myself as well...

I've lived the androgenous side of female lifestyle since I was 13 but I still didn't push it enough.....

I think I fit on the early side of things.

I came out to my parents when I was 13, which probably wasn't much of a shock to them given that they knew I'd been freqently crossdressing since grade school.  That was 20 years ago, I knew through high school it was what I wanted (heck I just remembered the other day, taking the clothes of my cousin's barbie doll when I was like 9 or 10 and being jealous of her body).

I went off to college because I didn't know what else to do with myself, I'd have done much better in college if I'd spent half the time studying that I spent trying to find anyting I could on being TS.  What I could find was vague at best and gave me know idea what to do with myself.

I tried to transition when I was 23, I spent about 14 months on HRT, I probably could have gone full time, but I was for the most part clueless.  I'd like to blame my therapist, but it was as much my fault for not having any idea "what to do next", it's hard to know where you're going if you don't know how to get there.

I'm 33, so what happened to the last ten years?  Like everyone else, I've spent my fair share of time fighting it, I never thought I wasn't TS, I just wasn't ready to transition.  Then things started to come together for me that put transition in my comfort zone again and here I am.

So am I early or late in my transition?  I don't know, does it matter?

Quote from: Enigma on November 18, 2007, 02:26:55 PM
I think I fit on the early side of things.

I came out to my parents when I was 13, which probably wasn't much of a shock to them given that they knew I'd been freqently crossdressing since grade school.  That was 20 years ago, I knew through high school it was what I wanted (heck I just remembered the other day, taking the clothes of my cousin's barbie doll when I was like 9 or 10 and being jealous of her body).

I went off to college because I didn't know what else to do with myself, I'd have done much better in college if I'd spent half the time studying that I spent trying to find anyting I could on being TS.  What I could find was vague at best and gave me know idea what to do with myself.

I tried to transition when I was 23, I spent about 14 months on HRT, I probably could have gone full time, but I was for the most part clueless.  I'd like to blame my therapist, but it was as much my fault for not having any idea "what to do next", it's hard to know where you're going if you don't know how to get there.

I'm 33, so what happened to the last ten years?  Like everyone else, I've spent my fair share of time fighting it, I never thought I wasn't TS, I just wasn't ready to transition.  Then things started to come together for me that put transition in my comfort zone again and here I am.

So am I early or late in my transition?  I don't know, does it matter?

I think we all or most of us fit into both camps..

um, well this is for those in the first, not both, or the other :P
i certainly fit snugly into young... some fit into older.
'all of us fit into both' is a bit hmm..
R :police:

what triggered it?  well the fact that i was a girl living in the body of a boy was 'what' triggered it.

My parents raised me fairly liberally, but they did like to see me doing some boy activities, so I tried to make them happy as well.  In first and second grade I believe was when I did gymnastics in an all girl class, but I had to promise my parents I would give baseball a try too.  Trivial now, but the concept was horrible to me.  I had long hair, spent most of my time with the girls, played with them.  I got in trouble for doing girly things by one of my early teachers.  Around fourth grade I started to get harassed by my classmates and I tried to play the guy role, pretty poorly I might add, from then through high school.

Despite trying to be a "normal guy", I was continually hassled by my classmates throughout my pre college education.  The worst of it was in high school.  I went to a large school (around 4000 kids) and it was pure horror for me most of the time.  I was physically harrassed several times just walking to class.  There were literally areas of the school I was afraid to walk in because of previous incidents.  Torward the end of high school I would get to school in the morning, not 30 seconds inside I would be greeted with "HEY ->-bleeped-<-GOT ->-bleeped-<-GOT ->-bleeped-<-GOT ->-bleeped-<-GOT!".  Every. Day.

Needless to say I contemplated suicide a few times in high school, but I couldn't bear the thought of doing that to my parents and the few friends I did have.  After that I decided instead of thinking about killing myself all of the time I would try to find out "what was wrong with me."  I had never head of a transsexual before, just remembering clips of crossdressers on Jerry Springer and whatnot.  Thanks to the good old internet (which I spent a majority of my time on to escape from my oh so wonderful life in school), I discovered all of this information about transsexual people, and I thought that it fit me to a t.  This forums was one of those that got me through the rest of high school.

I came out to my parents and friends in January of this year, and things have been on track to me becoming myself ever since.

I don't normally talk about my time in high school much as I've tried to repress most of it...

yeah, i must admit, some of the visible images of transexuals really worried me and put me off when i was young (early teens) and i DID attempt suicide a few times, because i presumed it better than living a freak, or staying the way i was.
well, i was wrong... im just glad i get to say that.
R :police:

A lot of things in common with Rachel's story except for being pushed into the military.  But I did have the 3 times the charm suicides, and the last one sorted of jolted me into this "well if I'm going to live, I might as well live" mindstate.  I was kind of to the point where becaues of reasons associated with my depression I was alone.  And I figured if I was going to rebuild my life, I might as well do it right this time.  And I did.  I started transitioning at 23 and at 25 moved out to the East to live my life with as many friends as possible.  And it's worked.  It's sort of surreal to look back and realize I could have and should have done it even earlier.  I think a lot of my initial delay was how trans people were portrayed in the media and the general lack of information out there in terms of what you could do.

Even though I had already started transitioning by that point, I would say the documentary Trans-generation was very important in my development, because it let me see Transfolk around my own age and see that there was some normalcy there to be had.

normalcy?
is it cos i is black?
R :police:

Quote from: Katia on November 18, 2007, 05:32:12 PM
what triggered it?  well the fact that i was a girl living in the body of a boy was 'what' triggered it.

What Katia said.  Additionally, I got tired, very tired of living a life that was a lie.  I got tired of being addicted to pain killers, I got tired of pretending nothing was wrong when in reality, I had been seeing mental health professionals since age ten.  I got tired of the anti-depressants, the anti-anxiety drugs, the frequent visits to the psychiatrist; I got tired of it all and when I decided to kill myself for the third time, I failed, I didn't succeed despite the fact I had swallowed almost an entire bottle of a control III drug.  When I woke up in the hospital after a gastric lavage procedure to remove all the poison I had ingested, I promised myself this was going to be the very last time I'd deny who I was.  And things moved on from there & here I am.

tink :icon_chick:

Severe depression and unhappiness is what mostly triggered my transition.  Denial is what consumes you and everntually kills you, more so than GID.

Quote from: Rachael on November 18, 2007, 03:11:11 PM
um, well this is for those in the first, not both, or the other :P
i certainly fit snugly into young... some fit into older.
'all of us fit into both' is a bit hmm..
R :police:

A lot of people do....especially if you are from England, U.K where you can get messed around by the NHS for years!

if you start young, you start young... we dont mean done and dusted by 18 :P
there are a whole different set of circumstances and problems with transitioning in education, and as a child/with parents who have rights over you....
also lack of marriage, kids, etc.
R :police:

Quote from: Rachael on November 19, 2007, 06:29:58 AM
if you start young, you start young... we dont mean done and dusted by 18 :P
there are a whole different set of circumstances and problems with transitioning in education, and as a child/with parents who have rights over you....
also lack of marriage, kids, etc.
R :police:

Not true at all.....have you got 20 minutes?

I was originally diagnosed and referred to Charing Cross GIC in August 2001 from my local PCT psychiatrist who recommended hormone treatment and gender re-assignment surgery. His diagnosis also indicated that I didn't suffer from any mental health problems.

..........of course in the 6 and a half years I attended Charing Cross GIC I was subject to a lot of mental and verbal abuse and no treatment was ever facilitated........ False accusations about origins of medication and medical file mix ups and blunders were the norm...(the Healthcare Commission findings were serious)

Obviously none of the protocols or guidelines set up in the 'Harry Benjamin Standards of Care' have not in any way been complied with in the case of the U.K's Charing Cross GIC. I am in my forth year of my real life test in my chosen gender and changed all my details Driving licence, Passport, National Insurance etc) in 2003. Prior to this I always lived in a female type role for many years. I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria in 1984.  I went though all the usual psychiatry paths with my own PCT before being sent to Charing Cross GIC in August 2001. During my attendance at Charing Cross from August 2001 to January 2007 no treatment or treatment program had been facilitated in that time.

It seems that many government bodies are blind to the fact that this doesn't usually happen on the NHS. I have repeatedly requested West London Mental Health to provide me with answers as to why they repeatedly turned down various referrals, including Gender re-assignment surgery without an explanation. They also turned down hormone therapy in 2002 - 2003 and in the end I had to start on hormone therapy privately at another clinic. Charing Cross GIC then accused me of obtaining hormones from the internet and illegal sources. I was upset by these fabricated remarks and reported Charing Cross GIC (West London Mental Health) to the Healthcare Commission with this complaint and various other complaints regarding various referrals being declined without any explanation. I am now onto the Parliamentary Ombudsman with the same complaints.

The expenditure that my PCT (Health Authority) has paid West London Mental Health from August 2001 to January 2007 is in the region of £17,000. My argument is during that time period no treatment, no help or support has been facilitated by West London Mental Health. They basically fleeced the PCT of £17,000.  If the PCT gave an allowance to me for that kind of sum it would have been possible to access a surgeon for treatment. It might have covered GRS, breast augmentation, liposuction or facial surgery or various other surgeries needed for a gender transition. Instead my time (appox 6 and half years) was wasted and more importantly my life was wasted.

This is not a fault with my PCT who are very supportive but a fault with the present system in which employs a body like Charing Cross GIC to put a brick wall in front of a patient genuinely seeking help, support and treatment. I am also not in any need of Psychiatry and this can be backed up by my friend and head Psychologist at my local PCT.

Also a number of patients (including myself) with be taking legal action against Charing Cross GIC in the very near future. We have a vast amount of evidence against Charing Cross GIC including information leading to some patients suicides due to the lack of care and support to these patients who if they had the appropriate treatment would not have taken their own lives.

Just because you start young it doesn't always mean your'll be finished young..

your right, it doesnt... but doesnt always mean you dont...
R :police:

Quote from: redfish on November 18, 2007, 06:54:28 PM
I honestly don't know how to explain what lead to it without writing a book.


Let's just say that I realized there was no longer any other alternative.

that comment rings true for me, after trying every  possible alternative, the only way for me to go is to transition, im kinda glad i realised this before i got married and had kids because thats just another complication i dont need

17 years of suffering & excruciating pain.  Thats what did it.

Umm, here's my story...

When I was 12 I was trying to define what it was I was feeling. I grew up on Sherlock Holmes and so I adopted the thought, "eliminate the possibilities, whatever is left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth," I stumbled on the description of the surgery, and this lead to further research. It was like a light bulb over my head, this was the answer.

I think I got off lucky, my Dad never beat me to badly over this, even when he found the dresses. But both parents stuck their head in the sand and hoped it would go away. My mother, a doctor, told me noone would even talk to me about this until I was 21. This lead to 9 years of hiding and trying to fit in instead of of getting me help. I'd always been seeing therapists since I was 5 and the one time I came out to one, the next day my dad is screaming and throwing stuff over me wanting to be a woman. He says it was a coincidence. *shrugs*

I think the final straw would be going through the military training, and being stationed on a labor and delivery ward in D.C.  It was probably that that finally got me seeking final answers as to who I was. I honestly half expected the therapist to say I was crazy and it was something else. I half wanted him to. But He told me that what I told him was what alot of transsexuals had told him over the years. I had GID.

I finally broke down from depression and got help when I found myself with a pair of safety scissors wondering if I could kill myself with them. I didn't want to dishonor my family and had volunteered 7 times for Iraq, never got sent. I guess that was me trying to commit suicide, at least then my family would be taken care of from my life insurance. Never got sent, I guess they saw me as to eager. I guess at this point I figured that either I commit suicide  or I try my hardest to live as a woman and live a long life.

That was 2 years ago, now I'm getting ready to go full time here in Wyoming in the town infamous for the Matthew Shepherd killing. I've lost family and friends, we all have, but I think once I come out i'll be able to make better ones. Thanks to the wonderful and supportive people on this forum I got the streangth to go on. :D

Anyways, that's my story. ;)

The statistics show for themselves, less people transitioned in the 1970's / 80's compared to now.....why? because medication is more readily available and the internet now exists where you can buy it from the internet. The world had changed over the last 30 years, there is more public knowledge and less prejudice  about gender dysphoria and there are readily available contacts on the internet to book appointments etc..

I have no doubt in my mind that all the people classed as 'Late transitioners' would be early transitioners if they were born in the 1980's instead of being born in the 1950's or 1960's...

possibly, 20-20 hindsight is a lovely option...
MAYBE  there would ahve been more early now, but there are still people who transition older even now. so its not entirely the case. and the 70% atempted suicide rate in teens, and 50% sucess rate shows a lot of ts youths just take the long drop and a quick stop option...
i tried several times, im now a statisic (yay) then again, im by far not the most dysphoric... there are some who come out in thier early teens and before. but dysphoria is dysphoria at the end of the day, all this thread is for, is to find out what made young transitioners do it now. theres an older one too. its not to debate why there are more early now, or why we can. thats for another topic.
this is simply feelings, dealing with family, schools etc. some QUITE useful info id expect for transitioning youths...
R :police:

Quote from: Berliegh on November 20, 2007, 03:44:53 AM
The statistics show for themselves, less people transitioned in the 1970's / 80's compared to now.....why? because medication is more readily available and the internet now exists where you can buy it from the internet. The world had changed over the last 30 years, there is more public knowledge and less prejudice  about gender dysphoria and there are readily available contacts on the internet to book appointments etc..

I have no doubt in my mind that all the people classed as 'Late transitioners' would be early transitioners if they were born in the 1980's instead of being born in the 1950's or 1960's...

Well, I can't say "all" but I can say that this  dichotomy between so called early and late transitioners, at this particular time in history, has almost nothing to do with the wishes and intent of the transitioners and almost everything to do with the relatively easy access to transition now compared with the near impossibility to transition then.

Wow! That was quite a run-on sentence!

i do somewhat agree... internet am win :P
but again, not for this topic, if we want to discuss this, maybe another topic?
R :police:

QuoteRe: What triggered your early transition?

Strangely as it may sound.  It was the realisation that I was the ghost of a woman without a body

Quote from: Fer on November 20, 2007, 04:20:53 PM

QuoteRe: What triggered your early transition?

Strangely as it may sound.  It was the realisation that I was the ghost of a woman without a body

Wow.  That describes how I felt exactly.

I am not sure where I fall with regards to early/late continuum.  I don't feel I fall into late because I am not over 40, and cannot relate to the experiences of those over 40 AT ALL. 

I am not sure I am early because I started transitioning at 28.  So who knows. 

well the primary transexual, secondery transexual boarder is 32.... without starting that old chestnut roasting again ><
R :police:

Quote from: Amy T. on November 20, 2007, 09:13:07 PM
I am not sure where I fall with regards to early/late continuum.  I don't feel I fall into late because I am not over 40, and cannot relate to the experiences of those over 40 AT ALL. 

I am not sure I am early because I started transitioning at 28.  So who knows. 

your transition would be considered 'early' by most [if not all] therapists

Quote from: melissa90299 on November 20, 2007, 03:58:41 PM

Quote from: Berliegh on November 20, 2007, 03:44:53 AM
The statistics show for themselves, less people transitioned in the 1970's / 80's compared to now.....why? because medication is more readily available and the internet now exists where you can buy it from the internet. The world had changed over the last 30 years, there is more public knowledge and less prejudice  about gender dysphoria and there are readily available contacts on the internet to book appointments etc..

I have no doubt in my mind that all the people classed as 'Late transitioners' would be early transitioners if they were born in the 1980's instead of being born in the 1950's or 1960's...

Well, I can't say "all" but I can say that this  dichotomy between so called early and late transitioners, at this particular time in history, has almost nothing to do with the wishes and intent of the transitioners and almost everything to do with the relatively easy access to transition now compared with the near impossibility to transition then.

Wow! That was quite a run-on sentence!

That was really my point Melissa and I agree with you. Rachael is wrong to say it's all to do with coming out early. I came out at 13 but it didn't speed up my transitional process. In those days (1970's) we were more likely to get a good belt around the ear and told those worlds 'we'll straighten you out boy'..........I stuck to my guns from my 13th birthday onwards with a female image and very long gorls hairstyle but trying to get on hormones at 13 in the mid 1970's wasn't so easy....

It makes me angry that young transitioners are not able to aknowledge what is was like growing up during the 1970's and the social climate change and differences towards gender dysphoria now...

To start I am 20 years Old, and what is causing me to write here right now, is all of you.  I plan to be living as much like myself by the time I turn 21 which is in 8 mos.

This site with all of you has helped me so much and I thank all of you, for being you!

You are all so beautiful and to be honest I would not even consider it if I didn't think it was possible to pass, but you have shown me.

Stay sexy ladies hopefully I will be joining you ASAP.

with Love,

Jordan

im not wrong berleigh, coming out early helps, it just depends on how much effort you put in...
remember ive not even seen the nhs yet. yet im full time, on hrt, and transitioning well. im waiting 5 more years to see them. something about taking the initiative.... so the nhs messing around is no excuse tbh.
R :police:

Being in a wonderful relationship and sorting out my life triggered it.

That broke down the walls of denial and the dissasociation that I had. No feelings, not living within myself. The more I started to feel and live in my body, the more that pain came back. Couldn't deny it for long, and I had to begin.

Quote from: Berliegh on November 21, 2007, 04:08:26 AM

Quote from: melissa90299 on November 20, 2007, 03:58:41 PM

Quote from: Berliegh on November 20, 2007, 03:44:53 AM
The statistics show for themselves, less people transitioned in the 1970's / 80's compared to now.....why? because medication is more readily available and the internet now exists where you can buy it from the internet. The world had changed over the last 30 years, there is more public knowledge and less prejudice  about gender dysphoria and there are readily available contacts on the internet to book appointments etc..

I have no doubt in my mind that all the people classed as 'Late transitioners' would be early transitioners if they were born in the 1980's instead of being born in the 1950's or 1960's...

Well, I can't say "all" but I can say that this  dichotomy between so called early and late transitioners, at this particular time in history, has almost nothing to do with the wishes and intent of the transitioners and almost everything to do with the relatively easy access to transition now compared with the near impossibility to transition then.

Wow! That was quite a run-on sentence!

That was really my point Melissa and I agree with you. Rachael is wrong to say it's all to do with coming out early. I came out at 13 but it didn't speed up my transitional process. In those days (1970's) we were more likely to get a good belt around the ear and told those worlds 'we'll straighten you out boy'..........I stuck to my guns from my 13th birthday onwards with a female image and very long gorls hairstyle but trying to get on hormones at 13 in the mid 1970's wasn't so easy....

For me, it was impossible to "come out early" as the process of transitioning did not exist.  There was a scandalous case of one woman who went to Sweden to have a sex change.

QuoteIt makes me angry that young transitioners are not able to aknowledge what is was like growing up during the 1970's and the social climate change and differences towards gender dysphoria now...

The ignorance of others should not make you angry. They are the ones who are going to have to suffer the costs of going through life with no perspective of history and a self-centered idea about how it all works. I know I was like that and it took me years to discover that the whole world doesn't revolve around me. At least not all the time. :)

look, young transitioners, and i know you mean me mainly by this. DO accept what hte 70s were like, you tell us enough! so you didnt transition in your teens? so what? you have now. your still a woman... the big dealio here seems to be jelousy.... this topic is for young transitioners to talk about transition at a young age, i dont care if you came out early, but didnt transition till your 30s-40s, thats not a young transition is it? the issues are different, and this topic is to discuss those issues. I constantly see this issue coming up, of older transitioners winging and whineing about the young not understanding them. no, we dont, were a different generation. that alone regardless of trans means we dont 'get you' like you get each other. i wish Melissa and Berleigh would stop moaning in this topic... it surmounts to trolling, as you have no useful imput to the topic content other than crying about us not understanding you. Take it somewhere else please.
R :police:

Quote from: Rachael on December 06, 2007, 09:18:26 AM
look, young transitioners, and i know you mean me mainly by this. DO accept what hte 70s were like, you tell us enough! so you didnt transition in your teens? so what? you have now. your still a woman... the big dealio here seems to be jelousy.... this topic is for young transitioners to talk about transition at a young age, i dont care if you came out early, but didnt transition till your 30s-40s, thats not a young transition is it? the issues are different, and this topic is to discuss those issues. I constantly see this issue coming up, of older transitioners winging and whineing about the young not understanding them. no, we dont, were a different generation. that alone regardless of trans means we dont 'get you' like you get each other. i wish Melissa and Berleigh would stop moaning in this topic... it surmounts to trolling, as you have no useful imput to the topic content other than crying about us not understanding you. Take it somewhere else please.
R :police:

I'm surprised you would have a dig at me Rachael. I started HRT at 24! a year after you started HRT....now I don't call that late transitioning....

.....and both Melissa's points and my own are very valid to the social climate changes that have happened over the last 20 or 30 years...

I also don't like the topic segragation of older and younger transsexuals seen on this forum. I also don't have a problem with older transitioners even if I don't understand why they do leave it so late....but I except it.

i started hrt at 20....
R :police:

Quote from: Rachael on December 07, 2007, 02:30:08 AM
i started hrt at 20....
R :police:

.......ok 4 years difference then!

well if you transitioned so early, please quit bitching about young people not understanding you.... its getting a wee bit old.
R :police:

Quote from: Rachael on December 07, 2007, 03:10:49 AM
well if you transitioned so early, please quit bitching about young people not understanding you.... its getting a wee bit old.
R :police:

I have never 'bitched' about young transitioners......in fact if you bother to look through my posts you will see that I found it hard to understand older transitioners more than younger one's......The only thing I've 'bitched' about is the time it takes for someone to transition through the NHS.....which could also effect you as well if you take that route...

You seem to be want an arguement with people all the time Rachael...

It seemed like the thing to do.

Quote from: Berliegh on December 07, 2007, 02:16:34 AM

Quote from: Rachael on December 06, 2007, 09:18:26 AM
look, young transitioners, and i know you mean me mainly by this. DO accept what hte 70s were like, you tell us enough! so you didnt transition in your teens? so what? you have now. your still a woman... the big dealio here seems to be jelousy.... this topic is for young transitioners to talk about transition at a young age, i dont care if you came out early, but didnt transition till your 30s-40s, thats not a young transition is it? the issues are different, and this topic is to discuss those issues. I constantly see this issue coming up, of older transitioners winging and whineing about the young not understanding them. no, we dont, were a different generation. that alone regardless of trans means we dont 'get you' like you get each other. i wish Melissa and Berleigh would stop moaning in this topic... it surmounts to trolling, as you have no useful imput to the topic content other than crying about us not understanding you. Take it somewhere else please.
R :police:

I'm surprised you would have a dig at me Rachael. I started HRT at 24! a year after you started HRT....now I don't call that late transitioning....

.....and both Melissa's points and my own are very valid to the social climate changes that have happened over the last 20 or 30 years...

I also don't like the topic segragation of older and younger transsexuals seen on this forum. I also don't have a problem with older transitioners even if I don't understand why they do leave it so late....but I except it.

First, using the quote function overrides the ignore function and exposes me to actually reading ignored users' posts. Secondly, I don't have any problem relating to young people, TS or not. What I have a problem with is relating to people, young or old, who think they know it all when in reality, they know little or nothing. YThe woman I am seeing now is 24 but she is intelligent and open-minded and we have no problem relating to one another. She appreciates sharing my life experiences. Those who think they can't relate to older people are bigots.

Thirdly, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's. I am not jealous of not being born in a better time for transitioning. Growing up in the sixties and seventies simply rocked in a way that cannot be compared to anything.

Lastly, I suggest to all who see a post in a thread that they consider off-topic, they should just ignore it rather than try to refute it, thereby encouraging a continuation of the discussion.

nice to remind folk you have me on ignore, in the hope this gets quoted sometime.... biggot is the worng word mel ;)
and 24-however old you are is differnet... there is generational difference.... plus i dont paticularly WANT to relate to you luv.
R :police:

I just knew I had to be a girl from a very young age... 4 to be exact and I spent 12 years lying to my parents to keep my secret a secret and making sure that when I was wearing my mother's clothing that I put it back exactly the way I found them to not arouse her suspiciouns. About 6 maybe 7 yars ago I couldn't bear being a male and I was at my wits end, depressed, non-social (not like I had been before this got that bad), and secluded from society. Fast-forward 6 years later, the depression and the want to be correct in my own body became too much to handle and I told my parents... actually my mother considering I thought my father would have disowned me if I had come out to him (which wasn't the case and I felt very bad about not telling him later when he found out.) Fast-forward now about 4 months later, I'm now on HRT and very happy. I had to fight and do quite a few things that I definitely would not have done before, but, I have made it and I'm very happy.

I did know one thing throughout this whole ordeal, I WOULD NOT ever attempt to kill myself. I did think about it at points where my situation seemed to be hopeless but I never attempted it because, even though I was fighting them, I would not want to hurt my parents or those who cared about me like that.

Anyway enough of my sad story, it's getting to me now. :laugh:

The will to live as what I am, female.  Isn't that enough to trigger anybody's transition?

Quote from: Rachael on December 07, 2007, 04:52:03 PM
nice to remind folk you have me on ignore, in the hope this gets quoted sometime.... biggot is the worng word mel ;)
and 24-however old you are is differnet... there is generational difference.... plus i dont paticularly WANT to relate to you luv.
R :police:

Hey, I'm the bigot, you're just angsty.

i am the angst kitten ^_^ rawr!
R :police:

Quote from: Valentina on December 09, 2007, 12:09:34 AM
The will to live as what I am, female.  Isn't that enough to trigger anybody's transition?

It should be :) .  Your core identity is something you can't hide for too long.

Hi, I'm 17 and i haven't transitioned yet but i plan to around June when I finnish school. I have sort of started a transition, I have grown my hair and have it in a fairly femmenine style, I wear some makeup, I wear a womans perfume and I have had a consultation for laser hair removal and will begin this in January. I have also made an appointment to see a psychiatrist.

I really want to transition as soon as possible becauses I hate being male, and I get extremely depressed by it and even feel suicidal at times, I haven't attemted suicide but sometimes I really have the urge. I want to transition so I can live as me and be happy, and I want to like what see in the mirror.

I am also in the UK, how long does it take from first psychiatrist appointment to start HRT?

If you go to the nhs it depends on area, dont expect to see a NHS psych within 2 years though... its probably best, if your parents support you, to go private... youll get hrt in one or two visits...
R :police:

Do you know anywhere I could go in the east midlands?
Do have to transition before they give you HRT?

In thier rules, its RLE THEN hrt usually, but if you go private to Dr Curtis in london, he will do it usually first...
where abouts in the east midlands? im in sheffield...
R :police:

I live in leicestershire

not sure which GIC covers there, but your looking at 2 years minimum wait to be SEEN... and you wouldnt start rle straight away, and hrt is a fair few years away... privately, its almost instant IF you can afford it... (ofcourse a private prescrioption can be covered by the nhs... )
R :police:

how much is it to go private?

depends, iirc, curtis, is £200 for the first session, and £100 a session there after.  or if you have private healthcare, that can refer you toone of the nhs shrinks who takes private paitents... youd best do some reasearch yourself on the subject, ive not really got much knowlage of the private system myself.
sorry
R :police:

Thanks anyway
Can all psychiatrisat perscribe HRT or does it have to be a specialist?

they dont, well, gender specialists are needed, they refer you to an endocrinologist, who says what you need, then your gp will prescribe...
R :police:

I just had a look on Dr Curtis' website, he's increasing his prices by 10%!
It would be worth it if it means I can get HRT and transition sooner. Hopefully I get some money for christmas.

tbh, its better than the wait on the nhs...
how supportive are your parents?
R :police:

My mum was supportive for during the day that I told her, now she just denys it and pretends I'm not ts.
I haven't told my dad yet, I hope he will be supportive. He is helping me out with the laser treatment. I'e mainly been trying to do this alone just incase they aren't supportive. I plan on telling my dad in early january.

I could sit here and start from the beginning and echo the same story many of you have relayed: the innate feeling that somethinig wasn't right, depression, the desperate feeling to do something about it, all the while repressing the thoughts further and further.

In college, I was living my life as a normal, heterosexual male. I dreamed of a different life, but I saw it as a dream and nothing else. Around my third year in college, I met someone--a guy, who I finally felt comfartable telling about my deep dark secret. He encourage me to explore, helped connect me with a therapist and actually provided some of the seed money for my initial transition.  When I had doubts he was there with support. Without him, I would probably still be struggling with my outer shell.

I originally transitioned when I was 13 so I guess that counts as young...

For me it was just a feeling of what felt right. At 13 I cross-dressed about 90% of the time and frequently went to school, or where ever as a girl...and yes this did cause a lot of problems in just about every place I went...but I didn't care because I was just being me. I couldn't figure out what people where getting so upset about...I honestly didn't see anything wrong with dressing the way I WANTED TO.

I started hormones at the age of 15. What triggered that for me was seeing the changes in my body taking place in the mirror...the mirror grew to by my mortal enemy as things started to change. Luckily living in a large metropolitan area it wasn't too difficult to find things out...not all of it was reliable of course...but it was at the age of 15 I met my first transsexual (that I know of any way) and that opened a new world to me. Since I was only 15 and buying my hormones from Mexico I could never really afford to take a high enough dose to truly develop much of a feminine physic but it was enough to slow or stop a lot of the masculinization that takes place during the teen years. At 19 I was 5'8", 110 pounds and a size 0 (that's a US 0, UK 2, EU28).

At 17 years old I tried to find a doctor to help me with correcting the problem as I saw it, but alas couldn't find a doctor willing to help me...most were sympathetic, but still refused to help...it was also at 17 that I attempted suicide for the first time. I had a major fight with my mother that morning, gotten beaten up again for god only knows how many times that month, and had a major blow out with one of my sisters after school...I took a whole bottle of prescription sleeping pills and if it wasn't for the fact that my mother came home early for some reason I would have been successful...all I really remember is the feelings of guilt, shame, etc. when I woke in the hospital three days later...

The next major events in my life would be the triggers for me going into denial for a long, long time...I was raped when I was seventeen and then again when I was nineteen. The first rape was by a 'girlfriend' and the latter actually on my birthday by a friend of the family...and people wonder why I don't like to celebrate my birthday...go figure. The nail in the coffin as they say was just after college...I was lucky in that I found someone who accepted me for me and actually encouraged me to explore that aspect of my self...but I guess it wasn't meant to be for she was taken from me the Sunday following Thanksgiving...we had actually just gotten engaged that weekend...we had been together 4 years, 6 months, 12 days...and I forget how many hours and minutes...sorry I digress...something I tend to do frequently...

Anyway...that's the story of my early transition.

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre

PS. Yes...there is more...but I'm too emotional at the moment to go on

I cant say I transitioned that early - started down the path when I was 21, started HRT at 24, full time at 25, even though I knew a lot earlier that it had to happen.

Really, the main reason it didnt happen any earlier was kind of a symptom of itself, if that makes any sense. Puberty was my "wake up call", as it were - by about age 13 or 14 I knew there was something wrong with what was happening to my body, and later learned about exactly what transsexualism and transition were at about 16 (thank you internet). During that time there was a lot of guiltily wearing my mothers or sisters clothes, religiously trying to remove any trace of body hair, vehemently avoiding any kind of activity that could be construed as "male-typical". My depression escalated rather badly, and the whole high-school thing certainly wasn't helping. I was pretty much made a social outcast, getting abused and beaten up because people thought I was gay because I acted so "girly". Which got a hell of a lot worse when a picture of me kissing this boy who I kind of had a thing for somehow got circulated at school (and by circulated, I mean hundreds of copies made and posted up on walls around the school - I still have no idea how that happened, I hadnt even realised at the time someone had taken a picture, certainly the few other people there that might have seen what happened didnt to the best of my knowledge know anyone from my school). Knowing how badly I was being treated in a social sense because people thought I was gay was enough for me to start feeling like if I actually transitioned, long before it made my life liveable in any serious way I'd probably get beaten to death by those same people.

Somehow managed to survive high-school with no serious physical injuries (although probably way too many emotional ones), moved away from home, got on drugs to try and numb myself from the pain of knowing I was a girl but being too scared of what would happen when the world found out. Got to the point where I realised that what I was doing to try and hide everything from the world was probably hurting me much more than fixing the problem would, so I got into therapy with a gender therapist. Spent almost a year and a half concentrating less on my gender stuff and more on trying to build my esteem and confidence to a point where I felt I could cope with transitioning. Tried to start HRT once, freaked out completely, put it off for a year, tried again, and it all kind of clicked. Told family, told my friends. Family was suprised (was shocked I wasnt gay). Friends less so. The depression and the irrational fear pretty much went away, got off drugs, got a good job, made new friends, started living my life instead of simply just existing.

I'm just glad it worked :).

Megan