Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Ayana on November 18, 2007, 03:45:00 PM Return to Full Version
Title: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: Ayana on November 18, 2007, 03:45:00 PM
Post by: Ayana on November 18, 2007, 03:45:00 PM
Hello all, I tried to think of something witty, or sarcastic, or at least different, but alas. So I will go with the standard this is me intro. ;)
I am MtF transgendered, I haven't started seeing a therapist or taking hormones yet. I am hoping to start therapy in December and then move on from there. I intend to do HRT and SRS, subjective of course to the therapist ok'ing it.
I grew up in a very strict fundamentalist Christian household, where some of my earliest thoughts were of being female. I somehow knew my parents wouldn't understand so I proceded to bury it, trying to fit in as best as I could and usually ended up crying myself to sleep. As time progressed, my parents got stricter, and I withdrew more and more. I avoided all social interaction and buried myself in books. A few times I managed to sneak a few minutes in my sister's or even my mom's clothes, but the moments were few and far between.
Fast forward to now, I've been ignoring the feelings and hiding them for my whole life until a few months ago when I finally came clean to my wife of 5 years. Much to my surprise she understood and had already figured out I was transgendered. We immediately went shopping and I have been living life as Ayana every since, except for work.
Work, well that's a different story, my boss has similiar views as my parents. You know the type, gays and lesbians will burn in hell etc. etc. So, the plan for now is to hide at work, save money, and quit before transitioning. My wife has a good career, and is amenable to me being a homemaker, at least for a while. Of course a therapist may not see it that way lol.
But anyway, just wanted to join a community of like minded people, swap ideas and hopefully walk away with some new friends. :)
P.S. Sorry for the long-winded intro, I got a little carried away lol
I am MtF transgendered, I haven't started seeing a therapist or taking hormones yet. I am hoping to start therapy in December and then move on from there. I intend to do HRT and SRS, subjective of course to the therapist ok'ing it.
I grew up in a very strict fundamentalist Christian household, where some of my earliest thoughts were of being female. I somehow knew my parents wouldn't understand so I proceded to bury it, trying to fit in as best as I could and usually ended up crying myself to sleep. As time progressed, my parents got stricter, and I withdrew more and more. I avoided all social interaction and buried myself in books. A few times I managed to sneak a few minutes in my sister's or even my mom's clothes, but the moments were few and far between.
Fast forward to now, I've been ignoring the feelings and hiding them for my whole life until a few months ago when I finally came clean to my wife of 5 years. Much to my surprise she understood and had already figured out I was transgendered. We immediately went shopping and I have been living life as Ayana every since, except for work.
Work, well that's a different story, my boss has similiar views as my parents. You know the type, gays and lesbians will burn in hell etc. etc. So, the plan for now is to hide at work, save money, and quit before transitioning. My wife has a good career, and is amenable to me being a homemaker, at least for a while. Of course a therapist may not see it that way lol.
But anyway, just wanted to join a community of like minded people, swap ideas and hopefully walk away with some new friends. :)
P.S. Sorry for the long-winded intro, I got a little carried away lol
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: Hazumu on November 18, 2007, 03:58:59 PM
Post by: Hazumu on November 18, 2007, 03:58:59 PM
Hi, Ayana! Here's the standard unoriginal staff welcome: ;) ;D
-Have a look around. Susan's is like JRR Tolkein's discription of Rivendell -- always a bit more to see around the next corner.
-Please read the Site Terms of Service and rules to live by. (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.msg27408.html#msg27408) BTW, the things that keep staff busy is disrespecting other members [Rules 10 & 11], and posting HRT dosage and/or sources information [Rule 8].
-Staff are also here to answer your questions and help you out. We're a great resource.
Welcome! pull up a comfy chair, bring your favorite steaming mug of comfort beverage and I look forward to having you join in on the discussions!
Karen
-Have a look around. Susan's is like JRR Tolkein's discription of Rivendell -- always a bit more to see around the next corner.
-Please read the Site Terms of Service and rules to live by. (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.msg27408.html#msg27408) BTW, the things that keep staff busy is disrespecting other members [Rules 10 & 11], and posting HRT dosage and/or sources information [Rule 8].
-Staff are also here to answer your questions and help you out. We're a great resource.
Welcome! pull up a comfy chair, bring your favorite steaming mug of comfort beverage and I look forward to having you join in on the discussions!
Karen
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: Suzy on November 18, 2007, 05:54:36 PM
Post by: Suzy on November 18, 2007, 05:54:36 PM
Ayana, you call that long winded? Just wait till you read a while. ;D
I do welcome you to this refuge of sanity for people trying to figure out what is going on with them. I hope you can enjoy some of your journey. Laugh at things, even yourself. It is good medicine. And there are a number of recovering fundamentalists here who can help with your faith issues if you want to talk about it.
Welcome to Susans!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
I do welcome you to this refuge of sanity for people trying to figure out what is going on with them. I hope you can enjoy some of your journey. Laugh at things, even yourself. It is good medicine. And there are a number of recovering fundamentalists here who can help with your faith issues if you want to talk about it.
Welcome to Susans!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: tinkerbell on November 18, 2007, 07:44:51 PM
Post by: tinkerbell on November 18, 2007, 07:44:51 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi220.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fdd141%2Fgoldendragonfly%2FTinkerbell-2-5.gif&hash=5be8480c960ef48b1799ad2adf2134b3c3a7c712)
Hello Ayana and welcome to Susan's!
Thank you for your introduction. Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Main_Page), chat (https://www.susans.org/chat/index.html), and the links listed at the main page. (https://www.susans.org/index.html) We look forward to your future posts and participation. Enjoy your stay :)
tink :icon_chick:
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: buttercup on November 18, 2007, 08:47:46 PM
Post by: buttercup on November 18, 2007, 08:47:46 PM
Hi Ayana and Welcome,
buttercup :)
buttercup :)
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: Christo on November 19, 2007, 01:31:33 AM
Post by: Christo on November 19, 2007, 01:31:33 AM
Welcome to susans place Ayana :) :) :)
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: Wing Walker on November 19, 2007, 02:01:27 AM
Post by: Wing Walker on November 19, 2007, 02:01:27 AM
Hello, Ayana, and welcome to Susan's!
You have a blessing in your wife and her understanding. That's pretty rare so make sure that you thank her.
I am familiar with problems at work. Been there, fought that.
The first thing that I would do is to find out if there are any legal protections in the town or state in which you work to prevent being canned because of who you are and how you present to the world: as a woman.
I also suggest that you find a copy of "Back Off!" by Martha Langelan. That is my handbook in dealing with sexual harassment, gender discrimination, and the sly tricks one might expect on the job. Do a Google search on her and you'll find a woman who seems to me to know her material.
I wish you and your wife all the best.
Wing Walker
You have a blessing in your wife and her understanding. That's pretty rare so make sure that you thank her.
I am familiar with problems at work. Been there, fought that.
The first thing that I would do is to find out if there are any legal protections in the town or state in which you work to prevent being canned because of who you are and how you present to the world: as a woman.
I also suggest that you find a copy of "Back Off!" by Martha Langelan. That is my handbook in dealing with sexual harassment, gender discrimination, and the sly tricks one might expect on the job. Do a Google search on her and you'll find a woman who seems to me to know her material.
I wish you and your wife all the best.
Wing Walker
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: Jillieann Rose on November 19, 2007, 05:17:56 AM
Post by: Jillieann Rose on November 19, 2007, 05:17:56 AM
Hi Ayana,
I glad you have joined.
Yes I know those strict fundamentalist Christians very well. My family.
Thankfully you have a supportive wife. You are blessed.
Welcome to Susan's.
Jillieann
I glad you have joined.
Yes I know those strict fundamentalist Christians very well. My family.
Thankfully you have a supportive wife. You are blessed.
Welcome to Susan's.
Jillieann
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: cindybc on November 19, 2007, 06:32:22 AM
Post by: cindybc on November 19, 2007, 06:32:22 AM
Hi Tink, I like your fairy welcome. ;D
Hi Ayana, welcome to Susan's, I hope you find the answers you are seeking here. And I agree with Wing Walker. You are very lucky that you have your better half supporting you, it is a rarity.
Cindy
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2Ffairiescarolynandme.jpg&hash=a1344fcdf3d826f776aa4b35f54918eb72da1a6e)
Hi Ayana, welcome to Susan's, I hope you find the answers you are seeking here. And I agree with Wing Walker. You are very lucky that you have your better half supporting you, it is a rarity.
Cindy
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2Ffairiescarolynandme.jpg&hash=a1344fcdf3d826f776aa4b35f54918eb72da1a6e)
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: Jaiden on November 19, 2007, 11:21:56 AM
Post by: Jaiden on November 19, 2007, 11:21:56 AM
Great Intro Ayana. Welcome!! ;)
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: Ayana on November 19, 2007, 06:53:25 PM
Post by: Ayana on November 19, 2007, 06:53:25 PM
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. :) I really do appreciate it. I'll definately check out the book you suggested Wing Walker as I am a fanatical reader.
I know that my wife's understanding is a rare thing and I do not take it for granted at all, I am extremely blessed in that aspect of my life. Her and I are truly soulmates.
I do not regret anything that I am or any of the paths that I have had to tread as they are the catalyst for who I am and the foundation for the strength I will need to see myself through life. I hope that I can show others here and elsewhere the lessons I have learned and to learn a little more myself.
Also, in clarification, I was not intending to stereotype belief systems in my reference to fundementalist christians, I was merely trying to convey the position I saw myself in so that you could understand me more fully ;).
Again, thanks for the warm welcome and I hope to see you all again :).
I know that my wife's understanding is a rare thing and I do not take it for granted at all, I am extremely blessed in that aspect of my life. Her and I are truly soulmates.
I do not regret anything that I am or any of the paths that I have had to tread as they are the catalyst for who I am and the foundation for the strength I will need to see myself through life. I hope that I can show others here and elsewhere the lessons I have learned and to learn a little more myself.
Also, in clarification, I was not intending to stereotype belief systems in my reference to fundementalist christians, I was merely trying to convey the position I saw myself in so that you could understand me more fully ;).
Again, thanks for the warm welcome and I hope to see you all again :).
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: funnygrl on November 20, 2007, 01:51:28 AM
Post by: funnygrl on November 20, 2007, 01:51:28 AM
Welcome to Susan's Ayana!!!
May I recomend another great book: "Right Side Out" by 'Annah Moore'.
Good luck and stick around!!!
May I recomend another great book: "Right Side Out" by 'Annah Moore'.
Good luck and stick around!!!
Title: Re: My standard unoriginal introduction
Post by: RebeccaFog on November 26, 2007, 12:10:05 PM
Post by: RebeccaFog on November 26, 2007, 12:10:05 PM
Hi Ayana,
Welcome to Susan's.
Don't worry about being witty. If being witty were a prerequisite to being on this site, we would all be out on the street. :laugh:
I understand the difficulty that an ultra religious upbringing can have on Trans people. I hope you don't allow any negative experiences to affect how you live and think about yourself.
You seem to be upbeat and ready to face the future. Good for you. It's nice to hear your wife supports you.
Peace,
Rebis
Welcome to Susan's.
Don't worry about being witty. If being witty were a prerequisite to being on this site, we would all be out on the street. :laugh:
I understand the difficulty that an ultra religious upbringing can have on Trans people. I hope you don't allow any negative experiences to affect how you live and think about yourself.
You seem to be upbeat and ready to face the future. Good for you. It's nice to hear your wife supports you.
Peace,
Rebis