Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Brenda3156 on April 14, 2017, 06:55:37 AM Return to Full Version
Title: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Brenda3156 on April 14, 2017, 06:55:37 AM
Post by: Brenda3156 on April 14, 2017, 06:55:37 AM
I am 10 months into HRT and I still present as male but I have noticed that other men are starting to pay more attention to me. At first I thought I was just imagining it. Yesterday myself and my wife were sitting in a bar and a man came up and hit on me right in front of my wife. I mean the whole bit, striking up a conversation, innocent touching for no reason, openly flirting and being overly friendly. Both myself and my supportive wife enjoyed it but it surprised me. Can men sense the changes in me? Has anyone else had this kind of experience?
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: IdontEven on April 14, 2017, 07:37:43 AM
Post by: IdontEven on April 14, 2017, 07:37:43 AM
Yup...some weeks more than others. It was weird to me how I dropped off the radar of the male social hierarchy and the looks I got from guys changed. They started put more effort into looking and holding doors and stuff.
The thing is, I don't pass at all. Don't try to. But, I definitely don't occupy the same social role I once did.
The thing is, I don't pass at all. Don't try to. But, I definitely don't occupy the same social role I once did.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Kylo on April 14, 2017, 08:01:12 AM
Post by: Kylo on April 14, 2017, 08:01:12 AM
From the other side... yes. I tend to get hit on by the ladies, which can be slightly more subtle than when a man does it but still screamingly obvious to me with the double perspective we have, haha.
I never used to like people flirting with me, but I'm more relaxed these days and can enjoy it for what it is, even if I've no intention of taking it anywhere. Ironically being a little uninterested tends to make people more keen and curious, doesn't it?
I never used to like people flirting with me, but I'm more relaxed these days and can enjoy it for what it is, even if I've no intention of taking it anywhere. Ironically being a little uninterested tends to make people more keen and curious, doesn't it?
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: pretty pauline on April 14, 2017, 08:02:48 AM
Post by: pretty pauline on April 14, 2017, 08:02:48 AM
Welcome to womanhood, it will happen, found it a bit unnerving at first, then I got used to it and enjoyed the attention, holding doors and giving up seats, some older men are such gentlemen, just enjoy being a woman.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Daniellekai on April 14, 2017, 08:59:04 AM
Post by: Daniellekai on April 14, 2017, 08:59:04 AM
Cripes, don't even need hormones for that much, just growing out hair and exercising the bum area got me to that point, even with a beard I get way more attention without doing anything differently, it has to be something that happens to men on a subconscious level when they see even a few female gender queues...
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Dani on April 14, 2017, 09:40:26 AM
Post by: Dani on April 14, 2017, 09:40:26 AM
All the time now. This is what I wanted anyway, so I am happy with the attention.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 10:18:51 AM
Post by: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 10:18:51 AM
I think guys lizard brains can smell the pheromones from the massive amount of girl dope that were on. I'm sure many of them wonder why they liked us so much when... to them, we're just other guys. Noticed it myself after a time. Must say, it is weird. I was presenting as a guy in a bar with a female friend. An obviously straight guy walks up to me and says he's never seen me here before. Says he likes to buy "new people" a beer and putting his hand on my shoulder and arm. It was a little disconcerting and made me kind of anxious. I got a good dose of what the average woman has to deal with everyday. Male privilege generally allows you to go through life ignored. Once you adopt the female social role, it can get real weird. The average guy would definitely consider the experiences you'll have as a violation of his space. Part of the territory I suppose. And it's going to happen.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Edina on April 14, 2017, 12:17:13 PM
Post by: Edina on April 14, 2017, 12:17:13 PM
Quote from: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 10:18:51 AM
Male privilege generally allows you to go through life ignored.
Not sure if I would consider "being ignored" a privilege. In my experience, being ignored has significant downsides.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: RobynD on April 14, 2017, 12:45:22 PM
Post by: RobynD on April 14, 2017, 12:45:22 PM
I have seen it more and more and by about 10-12 months in, i was seeing it pretty regularly. I don't mind it as long as people are cool and polite. Gay guys use to hit on me often before transition, so i just traded one demographic with a couple of others.
I find a lot of guys respond to flirting in a way i wasn't expecting - in that i mean it is instantly noticed and either immediately shut down or immediately responded to. That is pretty interesting. I too believe there is something chemical and biological in all of this.
I find a lot of guys respond to flirting in a way i wasn't expecting - in that i mean it is instantly noticed and either immediately shut down or immediately responded to. That is pretty interesting. I too believe there is something chemical and biological in all of this.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 01:02:00 PM
Post by: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 01:02:00 PM
Quote from: Edina on April 14, 2017, 12:17:13 PM
Not sure if I would consider "being ignored" a privilege. In my experience, being ignored has significant downsides.
It's not...it's just the way it works in guy land. We women get butt hurt when were ignored.... Least ways, I do....lol.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Michelle_P on April 14, 2017, 02:18:29 PM
Post by: Michelle_P on April 14, 2017, 02:18:29 PM
It is an odd feeling when we first realize that men are, well, checking us out and not staring at the odd looking person. I suspect that as we change the visible gender cues a bit we trigger responses in others. I'm slowly learning how to handle the eye contact and similar cues I seem to be getting from men.
I also suspect that there are scent cues at work. Sitting in a club dinner surrounded by men, I started seeing some... interesting behaviors around me. Swapping testosterone out for estradiol seems to have changed my scent noticeably.
Flirt gestures related to eye contact are really odd things to play with. I get stared at, make eye contact for a second, look down and to one side and smile, then make eye contact again for a half second while smiling... and the guy starts blushing. Fascinating!
I also suspect that there are scent cues at work. Sitting in a club dinner surrounded by men, I started seeing some... interesting behaviors around me. Swapping testosterone out for estradiol seems to have changed my scent noticeably.
Flirt gestures related to eye contact are really odd things to play with. I get stared at, make eye contact for a second, look down and to one side and smile, then make eye contact again for a half second while smiling... and the guy starts blushing. Fascinating!
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: IdontEven on April 14, 2017, 02:57:53 PM
Post by: IdontEven on April 14, 2017, 02:57:53 PM
Yeah, the scent/pheremone thing is STRONG. Some poor guys get really confused :(
I get odd looks from women I don't know but am in close proximity to for a few minutes sometimes too. I haven't quite figured out what that look is, but I've seen it several times. I almost think it's an "ahhhh, I get it!" moment, but hard to be sure.
I dunno, my life trips me the hell out pretty much constantly these days. The being ignored thing as a guy was a lot less confusing than all these meaningful looks.
I get odd looks from women I don't know but am in close proximity to for a few minutes sometimes too. I haven't quite figured out what that look is, but I've seen it several times. I almost think it's an "ahhhh, I get it!" moment, but hard to be sure.
I dunno, my life trips me the hell out pretty much constantly these days. The being ignored thing as a guy was a lot less confusing than all these meaningful looks.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: findingreason on April 14, 2017, 03:04:34 PM
Post by: findingreason on April 14, 2017, 03:04:34 PM
Oddly enough I've seldom been hit on or flirted with by people I do not know, pre-transition and post-transition. I don't know why at all---it may be how I hold myself, I don't like being flirted with and maybe I have demeanor about me that people pick up on. I'm glad guys don't try to flirt with me, because I find them gross anyway...
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: JMJW on April 14, 2017, 04:36:09 PM
Post by: JMJW on April 14, 2017, 04:36:09 PM
Quote from: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 01:02:00 PM
It's not...it's just the way it works in guy land. We women get butt hurt when were ignored.... Least ways, I do....lol.
"Ignored" needs to be defined specifcally here. When feminists say "being ignored" is a privilege. They're talking about sexual harassment. There aren't many human beings who think being romantically ignored full stop is anything but depressing.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 04:43:04 PM
Post by: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 04:43:04 PM
Clarification time. If you're a man, you're pretty much ignored in the world. Nobody is opening doors for you. It's rare conversation is solicited. Women give you zero time unless they're interested in you. As a woman, men flirt, other women you don't know smile and nod and often even start conversations. That's been my experience at any rate. I've heard it stated by FTMs, that they had no idea that once male, they would no longer be spoken to by complete strangers and that they had no idea that the world pretty much ignored men. This was my point.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Kylo on April 14, 2017, 05:34:57 PM
Post by: Kylo on April 14, 2017, 05:34:57 PM
Yes, on point.
I find it better to be left alone to my own devices than have people assume I can't look after myself, need walking home, want company, compliments, or help. It's always been my policy to do as much as I can by myself. No culture shock here. Even before transition I was treated as mildly intimidating by strangers and they'd usually go talk to someone else before me. Which was fine. Depends on what you want and expect, really, whether your new place in the world is better or worse.
But I've seen some find it disconcerting. And lonely.
I find it better to be left alone to my own devices than have people assume I can't look after myself, need walking home, want company, compliments, or help. It's always been my policy to do as much as I can by myself. No culture shock here. Even before transition I was treated as mildly intimidating by strangers and they'd usually go talk to someone else before me. Which was fine. Depends on what you want and expect, really, whether your new place in the world is better or worse.
But I've seen some find it disconcerting. And lonely.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: RobynD on April 14, 2017, 05:36:26 PM
Post by: RobynD on April 14, 2017, 05:36:26 PM
Quote from: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 04:43:04 PM
Clarification time. If you're a man, you're pretty much ignored in the world. Nobody is opening doors for you. It's rare conversation is solicited. Women give you zero time unless they're interested in you. As a woman, men flirt, other women you don't know smile and nod and often even start conversations. That's been my experience at any rate. I've heard it stated by FTMs, that they had no idea that once male, they would no longer be spoken to by complete strangers and that they had no idea that the world pretty much ignored men. This was my point.
I'm not sure i am in agreement. Women came up to me often. I was asked to dance. I had drinks sent to me. My own spouse flirted so strong with me that when i finally asked her out she was like " i didn't think you liked as more than a friend because you never responded" . Still i was often the pursuer because i knew that was what was expected of me, so i did it and became comfortable with it
i do agree though that there is an intimidation factor with some people and that factor is sometimes created by how they carry themselves, how communicative they are, body language etc.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 05:40:17 PM
Post by: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 05:40:17 PM
Quote from: RobynD on April 14, 2017, 05:36:26 PM
I'm not sure i am in agreement. Women came up to me often. I was asked to dance. I had drinks sent to me. My own spouse flirted so strong with me that when i finally asked her out she was like " i didn't think you liked as more than a friend because you never responded" . Still i was often the pursuer because i knew that was what was expected of me, so i did it and became comfortable with it
i do agree though that there is an intimidation factor with some people and that factor is sometimes created by how they carry themselves, how communicative they are, body language etc.
Then I suspect you were very "handsome". There are always exceptions to everything. Pretty people of both sexes have an easier time in life and metaphoric doors of all type and fashion are opened for and to them.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: josie76 on April 14, 2017, 08:55:58 PM
Post by: josie76 on April 14, 2017, 08:55:58 PM
Definately something different going on. Nobody hits on me but women will sometimes just start conversations seemingly out of the blue. Also noticed when in close setting with a guy, they don't keep the "normal" personal space that I'm used to. Even if looking like a guy there has to be something to the Oder thing.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Daniellekai on April 15, 2017, 12:04:44 AM
Post by: Daniellekai on April 15, 2017, 12:04:44 AM
Quote from: RobynD on April 14, 2017, 05:36:26 PM
I'm not sure i am in agreement. Women came up to me often. I was asked to dance. I had drinks sent to me. My own spouse flirted so strong with me that when i finally asked her out she was like " i didn't think you liked as more than a friend because you never responded" . Still i was often the pursuer because i knew that was what was expected of me, so i did it and became comfortable with it
i do agree though that there is an intimidation factor with some people and that factor is sometimes created by how they carry themselves, how communicative they are, body language etc.
I'm so uncomfortable as the pursuer, I can't do it well at all, I have no idea what to say first, no idea when to be physical, etc, I generally compensate by waiting slightly too long so it's clear that it's ok, I don't get approached at all because apparently I come off as hating people and socializing, really I'm just in my head trying to figure out what a man would and wouldn't do here.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: VeronicaLynn on April 15, 2017, 02:06:40 AM
Post by: VeronicaLynn on April 15, 2017, 02:06:40 AM
I don't really like or want male attention. I do like and want female attention.
I tend to treat men like I do large stray dogs, and just ignore them and avoid eye contact and hope they go away, so for the most part I can't tell if they are checking me out or not, though I think some of them are, and so what if they are, they aren't going home with me.
I find that some women are a lot more open and talkative with me if they notice, though most people in general are so self absorbed and/or so focused on their smart phone these days, I could probably walk by buck naked and they wouldn't notice.
I tend to treat men like I do large stray dogs, and just ignore them and avoid eye contact and hope they go away, so for the most part I can't tell if they are checking me out or not, though I think some of them are, and so what if they are, they aren't going home with me.
I find that some women are a lot more open and talkative with me if they notice, though most people in general are so self absorbed and/or so focused on their smart phone these days, I could probably walk by buck naked and they wouldn't notice.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: pretty pauline on April 15, 2017, 05:59:42 PM
Post by: pretty pauline on April 15, 2017, 05:59:42 PM
Quote from: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 10:18:51 AMYou made the point very well Jentay, the whole new attention from men was a bit disconcerting and unnerving at first, but now as a woman I had to deal with it, comes with the territory, but certain touching was hard to get use to and inappropriate, many years ago shortly after my transition was complete I was at a work social and a work colleague, a guy, grabbing me and putting his arm around me and squeezing my waist and another slapping my butt, I was absolutely shocked at the time, but the reaction from cis women shocked me even more, ''boys will be boys'' I certainly got a good dose of what the average woman has to deal with everyday, but they were more use to it than I was, the female social role is completely different than what I was used to before transition, very weird at first, but learning to live as a woman, it got a lot easier and better over time, it does take time.
Says he likes to buy "new people" a beer and putting his hand on my shoulder and arm. It was a little disconcerting and made me kind of anxious. I got a good dose of what the average woman has to deal with everyday. Once you adopt the female social role, it can get real weird.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: RobynD on April 17, 2017, 12:41:01 PM
Post by: RobynD on April 17, 2017, 12:41:01 PM
Being noticed aside, "boys will be boys" and personal space and physical violation is never acceptable. If a guy slaps me on the butt that i am not in relationship with, he would do well to make sure he has health insurance coverage. ;) At the very least he could face hearing damage from the tirade of unpleasantries i would likely be releasing on him.
Now i don't see subtle physical stuff as being in the same category. Gently touching your arm or hand while someone speaks to you is fine. Asking permission to touch you in a nice way is awesome. Those guys should get happy face stickers. Hugs between friends, side hugs between friends and kissing on the cheek all just fine, but you have to have some relationship for that sort of social touching in my opinion.
Now i don't see subtle physical stuff as being in the same category. Gently touching your arm or hand while someone speaks to you is fine. Asking permission to touch you in a nice way is awesome. Those guys should get happy face stickers. Hugs between friends, side hugs between friends and kissing on the cheek all just fine, but you have to have some relationship for that sort of social touching in my opinion.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Brenda3156 on April 25, 2017, 07:25:20 AM
Post by: Brenda3156 on April 25, 2017, 07:25:20 AM
Thanks for all the comments. I have always been a very open and friendly person to everyone, so that makes me approachable to begin with. After reading some of the responses I have realized that there are other things too. Men have been opening doors for me. I hadn't considered it part of things until I read this. I do enjoy the attention when it happens. I know my scent has changed. I guess the way I act has changed some too because I do feel more feminine. I'm probably sending out female cues without realizing it. This whole process is very interesting and enjoyable.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: sarah1972 on April 25, 2017, 07:57:56 AM
Post by: sarah1972 on April 25, 2017, 07:57:56 AM
First time ever I went out in public with purple finger nails and a tight boot cut jeans I caught a few guys staring at my butt. It was a mix between feeling creepy about and a happy dance. That was 5 month before I even started hormones. Seems like men take queues not only from smell but also visual appearance. When I turned around the guys where pretty shocked...
Besides that: I have noticed that women in general are much more sensitive to noticing my transition. The number of women directly ask about it is much higher then men. Also men mostly react similar to me telling them about the weather. "OK" is about all I get. Women usually chat much longer about the subject.
So - there is a difference in how I get recognized.
Besides that: I have noticed that women in general are much more sensitive to noticing my transition. The number of women directly ask about it is much higher then men. Also men mostly react similar to me telling them about the weather. "OK" is about all I get. Women usually chat much longer about the subject.
So - there is a difference in how I get recognized.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Claire on April 25, 2017, 09:20:31 AM
Post by: Claire on April 25, 2017, 09:20:31 AM
I have no experience with any of this but here's a NY Times article by Jenny Boylan on her experiences
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/07/style/modern-love-jennifer-finney-boylan.html
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https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/07/style/modern-love-jennifer-finney-boylan.html
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 25, 2017, 10:58:18 AM
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 25, 2017, 10:58:18 AM
I'm definitely looking forward to this.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: pretty pauline on April 25, 2017, 02:22:49 PM
Post by: pretty pauline on April 25, 2017, 02:22:49 PM
Quote from: dori on April 25, 2017, 09:20:31 AMThat was a great read, I could so relate to all that. I remember many years ago at college school a very unpleasant guy, none of the guys liked him including myself, he was a bully agressive and always being competitive, fierce and ruthless, but incredible charming around women.
I have no experience with any of this but here's a NY Times article by Jenny Boylan on her experiences
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/07/style/modern-love-jennifer-finney-boylan.html
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Many years after I transition I met him at a college reunion, he didn't recognise me but he was like a completely different guy, he was so charming, if I didn't know him from before he could have swept me off my feet, I could have been totally smitten by him, I was now seeing him from a woman's view, it was really weird, he bought me a cocktail and very much a gentleman towards me, he was definitely flirting with me but knowing him from my other life, well he wasn't my type of guy, but I understand now as a woman that men and women can interact differently towards each other, guys can be so aggressive towards other guys, but the same guys very charming towards women, and some women can be very bitchy towards other women.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: femfem on April 25, 2017, 03:17:48 PM
Post by: femfem on April 25, 2017, 03:17:48 PM
Quote from: Brenda3156 on April 14, 2017, 06:55:37 AMLol that's awesome. When I first started transitioning, and didn't even entirely pass (just looked like a very feminine guy), men would talk to me in high-pitched voices like they do now that I look like a female.
I am 10 months into HRT and I still present as male but I have noticed that other men are starting to pay more attention to me. At first I thought I was just imagining it. Yesterday myself and my wife were sitting in a bar and a man came up and hit on me right in front of my wife. I mean the whole bit, striking up a conversation, innocent touching for no reason, openly flirting and being overly friendly. Both myself and my supportive wife enjoyed it but it surprised me. Can men sense the changes in me? Has anyone else had this kind of experience?
I remember one guy shaking my hand like I was a girl (grabbing it by the fingers and holding onto it ever so slightly)---and again, I wasn't even in my feminine form yet. It will eventually turn into guys hitting on you left, right, and center, if you're like me. I can't even leave my apartment without some guy chatting me up on the elevator. Seriously, we're talkin' at least five times a day, usually even more if there are a lot of people out. Hormones are awesome lol.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: paula lesley on April 25, 2017, 03:26:07 PM
Post by: paula lesley on April 25, 2017, 03:26:07 PM
But we are all so beautiful, so they will ;)
Paula, X.
Paula, X.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: RobynD on April 25, 2017, 05:12:56 PM
Post by: RobynD on April 25, 2017, 05:12:56 PM
Quote from: dori on April 25, 2017, 09:20:31 AM
I have no experience with any of this but here's a NY Times article by Jenny Boylan on her experiences
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/07/style/modern-love-jennifer-finney-boylan.html
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Very interesting article on her experiences and friendship.
I'm somewhat put off by male friends and acquaintances assuming i might be interested in them sexually. They communicate this in a variety of ways. Some of it at times sounds like it is a protection mechanism because they think i want them, and they want to communicate they do not, otherwise its something different. I get that they need to process my change but still, i find it pretty strange.
Another one is guys looking at boobs (some women too), that is different and takes getting use to. Its seems only semi-voluntary to many people.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Alanna1990 on April 25, 2017, 05:51:26 PM
Post by: Alanna1990 on April 25, 2017, 05:51:26 PM
Quote from: Brenda3156 on April 14, 2017, 06:55:37 AM
I am 10 months into HRT and I still present as male but I have noticed that other men are starting to pay more attention to me. At first I thought I was just imagining it. Yesterday myself and my wife were sitting in a bar and a man came up and hit on me right in front of my wife. I mean the whole bit, striking up a conversation, innocent touching for no reason, openly flirting and being overly friendly. Both myself and my supportive wife enjoyed it but it surprised me. Can men sense the changes in me? Has anyone else had this kind of experience?
It happens, people looking at me and stuff, don't mind them, since I'm not atracted to them, it became a daily happening when I started looking more feminine, they usually ask me out, what can I tell you, enjoy it, it just means that you're cute to other people, and that's always good.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: thegator on April 25, 2017, 06:24:23 PM
Post by: thegator on April 25, 2017, 06:24:23 PM
i had something kinda similar happen to me, at a taco shop filling my soda cup man with his back to be on my right side turns really fast and just stairs at me, and has a super confused looked on his face... right around the time my scent was changing and you can smell it too at times and the hairs on the body where turning fine and like white or blonde and not the 1st time to out and about having this happen.
i am now on my 3rd year about 5 months in to the 3rd year and i feel i dont pass, by apperance and voice and my man hands but i tend to notice a women looking back AT TIMES>.. in the mirror but at times, and also depends on what i wear
and when that happens people call me Miss/ms, but i am still trying to figure things out but yeah
THEY NOTICE... ;)
- started 5 months before i turned 27 and now 29.
i am now on my 3rd year about 5 months in to the 3rd year and i feel i dont pass, by apperance and voice and my man hands but i tend to notice a women looking back AT TIMES>.. in the mirror but at times, and also depends on what i wear
and when that happens people call me Miss/ms, but i am still trying to figure things out but yeah
THEY NOTICE... ;)
- started 5 months before i turned 27 and now 29.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: HappyMoni on April 25, 2017, 06:27:39 PM
Post by: HappyMoni on April 25, 2017, 06:27:39 PM
Being gender confused most of my life, I didn't date much. I found my wife a 37 years ago. I think for those two reasons, I gave off a vibe that was, "Keep your distance. Not interested in flirting." I now am on the other gender team, and I don't know if that vibe will stay or not. I don't often go into situations where that might be tested. I think I would be shocked if anyone ever hit on me. Oh, maybe I am a little naive. My wife came up to me at a trans conference as I was talking to someone. This trans woman was complimenting me on how good I looked. I introduced my partner and the woman quickly took off. My partner said, "She was hitting on you." I said, "Nah, oh go on! No way!" I still think if I ever got hit on, I would be floored or sadly wouldn't realize it. lol
Moni
Moni
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Arctophile117 on April 25, 2017, 09:16:14 PM
Post by: Arctophile117 on April 25, 2017, 09:16:14 PM
Quote from: jentay1367 on April 14, 2017, 10:18:51 AM
I think guys lizard brains can smell the pheromones from the massive amount of girl dope that were on. I'm sure many of them wonder why they liked us so much when... to them, we're just other guys. Noticed it myself after a time. Must say, it is weird. I was presenting as a guy in a bar with a female friend. An obviously straight guy walks up to me and says he's never seen me here before. Says he likes to buy "new people" a beer and putting his hand on my shoulder and arm. It was a little disconcerting and made me kind of anxious. I got a good dose of what the average woman has to deal with everyday. Male privilege generally allows you to go through life ignored. Once you adopt the female social role, it can get real weird. The average guy would definitely consider the experiences you'll have as a violation of his space. Part of the territory I suppose. And it's going to happen.
Speaking of lizard brains (HAHA), is it just that I'm so early in (only 3 months), or does anyone else turn into a stuttering fool when they smell a great looking guy walk past whereas before they'd just been like, "hey he smells good"?
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: IdontEven on April 26, 2017, 01:08:36 AM
Post by: IdontEven on April 26, 2017, 01:08:36 AM
Quote from: Arctophile117 on April 25, 2017, 09:16:14 PM
Speaking of lizard brains (HAHA), is it just that I'm so early in (only 3 months), or does anyone else turn into a stuttering fool when they smell a great looking guy walk past whereas before they'd just been like, "hey he smells good"?
Can't speak for anyone else, but I never considered a guy to smell good until after hormones ;)
And I don't stutter, but I get quiet and timid and the room gets way too warm if they're near me for more than like a minute. Took me a bit to figure that one out - being physically responsive to guys was a big surprise.
And I'm still getting used to finding some guys visually attractive, an even newer thing for me. The first time I said to myself "he's cute" I practically heard a voice in my head go "wow, foreal? did you really just think that?"
Life...is weird. Fun tho, at times :)
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Arctophile117 on April 26, 2017, 06:29:14 AM
Post by: Arctophile117 on April 26, 2017, 06:29:14 AM
Quote from: IdontEven on April 26, 2017, 01:08:36 AM
Can't speak for anyone else, but I never considered a guy to smell good until after hormones ;)
And I don't stutter, but I get quiet and timid and the room gets way too warm if they're near me for more than like a minute. Took me a bit to figure that one out - being physically responsive to guys was a big surprise.
And I'm still getting used to finding some guys visually attractive, an even newer thing for me. The first time I said to myself "he's cute" I practically heard a voice in my head go "wow, foreal? did you really just think that?"
Life...is weird. Fun tho, at times :)
I know! I mean, I've always been attracted to guys to a degree (though not nearly as much as to women), but now I'm more aware of them. I wouldn't say more attracted, just more... aware. Yes, definitely weird, but in a good way.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: RobynD on April 26, 2017, 11:09:11 PM
Post by: RobynD on April 26, 2017, 11:09:11 PM
Guys smell soooo good to me now. So yeah, i totally believe HRT did that.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Michelle_P on April 26, 2017, 11:55:01 PM
Post by: Michelle_P on April 26, 2017, 11:55:01 PM
Quote from: RobynD on April 26, 2017, 11:09:11 PM
Guys smell soooo good to be now. So yeah, i totally believe HRT did that.
Well, I know I can smell things better than I used to, but yow! I passed a couple of guys today who smelled strongly, but definitely not good. So maybe this is a 'your mileage may vary' sort of thing? Or there are too many well dressed but hygiene-challenged folks in town today?
But yeah, my sense of smell has definitely picked up recently. One more oddity of life. As I told the therapist, "This is the first time I've changed my gender, so everything is a novel experience to me."
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: RobynD on April 27, 2017, 04:27:07 PM
Post by: RobynD on April 27, 2017, 04:27:07 PM
Without a doubt there is a point where too much smell or too old or whatever is not appealing, but the pheromones are working on levels lower than that for me.
I agree with you on the sense of general smell. For instance, i smell musty or muskiness much better than i did in the past.
I think guys pick up our changed pheromones as well.
I agree with you on the sense of general smell. For instance, i smell musty or muskiness much better than i did in the past.
I think guys pick up our changed pheromones as well.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Maybebaby56 on April 29, 2017, 06:44:17 PM
Post by: Maybebaby56 on April 29, 2017, 06:44:17 PM
Quote from: Brenda3156 on April 14, 2017, 06:55:37 AM
I am 10 months into HRT and I still present as male but I have noticed that other men are starting to pay more attention to me. At first I thought I was just imagining it. Yesterday myself and my wife were sitting in a bar and a man came up and hit on me right in front of my wife. I mean the whole bit, striking up a conversation, innocent touching for no reason, openly flirting and being overly friendly. Both myself and my supportive wife enjoyed it but it surprised me. Can men sense the changes in me? Has anyone else had this kind of experience?
Nope. I have never had anyone flirt with me and I have been living full-time as a woman for months. Admittedly, I don't go out much. Every once in a while some one would say, "I like your nails", or "Nice hat", but that's about it.
~Terri
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: jentay1367 on April 29, 2017, 07:08:19 PM
Post by: jentay1367 on April 29, 2017, 07:08:19 PM
Quote from: Maybebaby56 on April 29, 2017, 06:44:17 PM
Nope. I have never had anyone flirt with me and I have been living full-time as a woman for months. Admittedly, I don't go out much. Every once in a while some one would say, "I like your nails", or "Nice hat", but that's about it.
~Terri
That's pretty hard to imagine. Do you carry a loaded shotgun around with you, Terri? That will really dissuade most guys. Not all...but most.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Maybebaby56 on April 29, 2017, 07:24:37 PM
Post by: Maybebaby56 on April 29, 2017, 07:24:37 PM
Quote from: jentay1367 on April 29, 2017, 07:08:19 PMHi Lisa!
That's pretty hard to imagine. Do you carry a loaded shotgun around with you, Terri? That will really dissuade most guys. Not all...but most.
Lol. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I mean it's not like I try to get hit on, but I make friends pretty readily. The only thing I can think of is I am usually hanging out with someone when I go out, and usually pretty engaged in my companions.
xo Terri
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Arctophile117 on April 29, 2017, 08:57:09 PM
Post by: Arctophile117 on April 29, 2017, 08:57:09 PM
Quote from: Michelle_P on April 26, 2017, 11:55:01 PM
Well, I know I can smell things better than I used to, but yow! I passed a couple of guys today who smelled strongly, but definitely not good. So maybe this is a 'your mileage may vary' sort of thing? Or there are too many well dressed but hygiene-challenged folks in town today?
But yeah, my sense of smell has definitely picked up recently. One more oddity of life. As I told the therapist, "This is the first time I've changed my gender, so everything is a novel experience to me."
Oh, yeah, definitely. I get headaches when someone near by stinks. I mean, it hits me square in the face. I wonder if cisgender women get so many headaches because of scent?
I see people looking at me, but it's usually more of a "You don't see that every day," ("that" being the instance of seeing someone who's transitioning). However, (hopefully without scaring anyone) the only time I DID get that sweetened tone from a guy was while in a gun shop of all places, while looking at a pistol for defensive reasons.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Brenda3156 on May 13, 2017, 06:03:13 AM
Post by: Brenda3156 on May 13, 2017, 06:03:13 AM
To be on "the other side"" of things is really fascinating. I am learning a lot about people and how they interact with each other that I had never thought of. I really didn't know all this would come from the path that I have started on and am even more glad that I chose to transition. It is really interesting to have the knowledge that I gained over decades of being a man and to now have a whole new set of things to learn and experience. I never knew this could be so rewarding and fulfilling. If I had I would have done this sooner in life, but no regrets.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: JMJW on May 13, 2017, 07:27:23 AM
Post by: JMJW on May 13, 2017, 07:27:23 AM
I haven't gone out as the real me that much either so I haven't any experience in being hit on by men, I can't predict how I would react in the moment so I'm not going to try. One has to just go with the flow and see what comes up. :-*
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Nooms on May 14, 2017, 10:49:02 AM
Post by: Nooms on May 14, 2017, 10:49:02 AM
Hahaha I just get ignored a lot. Most people, men and women just have the same kinda reaction when they look at me...Dirty tattooed hippy...avoid...avoid...avoidddddd. I loveeee it :D I don't know what it is about dreads and Para Boots, maybe its the Patchouli Oil scent but hey ho I'm so easy going I just don't care, lol
xxx
Nooms
xxx
Nooms
Title: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: rose on May 17, 2017, 04:42:43 AM
Post by: rose on May 17, 2017, 04:42:43 AM
I'm from Islamic Arabic country I start hrt 2008 but I'm force to dress guys clothes and hide my identity for my safety
But even so
EVERYONE NOTICE ME !
Which can be scary
Guys are always aggressive and harassing me even back then in 2008 when I first start taking hormones
So short answer YES They notice
As long as it's flirting and nice enjoy it
I'm pretty and all that but since I'm in transphobic/homophobic country I never experienced good feedback from guys it's always so sexually and so harassing and aggressive
Even girls are mean specially if I'm prettier than her
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But even so
EVERYONE NOTICE ME !
Which can be scary
Guys are always aggressive and harassing me even back then in 2008 when I first start taking hormones
So short answer YES They notice
As long as it's flirting and nice enjoy it
I'm pretty and all that but since I'm in transphobic/homophobic country I never experienced good feedback from guys it's always so sexually and so harassing and aggressive
Even girls are mean specially if I'm prettier than her
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Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: jessilynn on May 17, 2017, 09:47:36 AM
Post by: jessilynn on May 17, 2017, 09:47:36 AM
Girl, I get it all the time. It's kinda annoying. It's just an undesired effect. I blame it on the pheromones.
I get it because yeah I do present myself as a woman, and yeah like, I am lesbian. I go to my own bar, with my wife, even to dinner, and we both get the googley eyes.
I simply just ignore it, and HONESTLY as much as I DON'T like men (personal issues from my past) I take it as a form of flattery. Just so long as it does not come up to feel like a dangerous situation.
But if this becomes an annoyance to the point where you are personally uncomfortable, speak with the bartender. If y'all are regulars, they will help you out, and watch your back.
I get it because yeah I do present myself as a woman, and yeah like, I am lesbian. I go to my own bar, with my wife, even to dinner, and we both get the googley eyes.
I simply just ignore it, and HONESTLY as much as I DON'T like men (personal issues from my past) I take it as a form of flattery. Just so long as it does not come up to feel like a dangerous situation.
But if this becomes an annoyance to the point where you are personally uncomfortable, speak with the bartender. If y'all are regulars, they will help you out, and watch your back.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: rainecloude on May 17, 2017, 10:58:36 AM
Post by: rainecloude on May 17, 2017, 10:58:36 AM
I honestly wonder if a big part of the changes identified are just a result of trans girls feeling comfortable enough in their own skin that they can finally imagine people being interested in them.
I know for me when I began to feel more comfortable in my own body I was a little less clueless about people trying to engage me. :P
As someone who used to identify as a gay male being attracted to men or feeling as if men are noticing me isn't unusual so who knows!
I know for me when I began to feel more comfortable in my own body I was a little less clueless about people trying to engage me. :P
As someone who used to identify as a gay male being attracted to men or feeling as if men are noticing me isn't unusual so who knows!
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Wednesday on May 17, 2017, 03:03:48 PM
Post by: Wednesday on May 17, 2017, 03:03:48 PM
Quote from: rainecloude on May 17, 2017, 10:58:36 AM
I honestly wonder if a big part of the changes identified are just a result of trans girls feeling comfortable enough in their own skin that they can finally imagine people being interested in them.
I know for me when I began to feel more comfortable in my own body I was a little less clueless about people trying to engage me. :P
As someone who used to identify as a gay male being attracted to men or feeling as if men are noticing me isn't unusual so who knows!
OMG, completely agree with you, 1000%! In my case, also my mood (and self-perception at that moment) play a big role in my "awareness' accuracy".
In addition I think men's looks (or ways of looking) are not always that clear. In my experience as a gay boy it was usually easy to figure out, but as a girl (and specially unsure about your looks) it may be a tad more confusing to me (at least sometimes). Most guys looks are usually not that sweet even when they like you very much.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Nooms on May 18, 2017, 05:37:00 PM
Post by: Nooms on May 18, 2017, 05:37:00 PM
Quote from: Wednesday on May 17, 2017, 03:03:48 PM
OMG, completely agree with you, 1000%! In my case, also my mood (and self-perception at that moment) play a big role in my "awareness' accuracy".
In addition I think men's looks (or ways of looking) are not always that clear. In my experience as a gay boy it was usually easy to figure out, but as a girl (and specially unsure about your looks) it may be a tad more confusing to me (at least sometimes). Most guys looks are usually not that sweet even when they like you very much.
This is so true...I think we can often misread a look here and a look there but I guess it comes with the territory. I think personally it's because I am always worried about being "read" and the reactions that may follow so I create the imaginary bad looks when in reality it's just the way people look at you...normal like lol
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: RobynD on May 19, 2017, 12:58:18 PM
Post by: RobynD on May 19, 2017, 12:58:18 PM
Without a doubt, when you are happier and more comfortable in your own skin, people are attracted to that. A better outlook on life also helps us to respond to those attentions.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Allison S on February 24, 2018, 10:26:25 AM
Post by: Allison S on February 24, 2018, 10:26:25 AM
I think it has something to do with hormones and softer appearance that most men are naturally drawn to.
I never had men blowing me kisses, staring, and telling me "I like you" in broad day light on the street and train...
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I never had men blowing me kisses, staring, and telling me "I like you" in broad day light on the street and train...
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Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: krobinson103 on February 24, 2018, 12:17:47 PM
Post by: krobinson103 on February 24, 2018, 12:17:47 PM
Quote from: Arctophile117 on April 25, 2017, 09:16:14 PM
Speaking of lizard brains (HAHA), is it just that I'm so early in (only 3 months), or does anyone else turn into a stuttering fool when they smell a great looking guy walk past whereas before they'd just been like, "hey he smells good"?
Being Bi nothing changed there for me. I've always liked both genders.
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: jessilynn on March 04, 2018, 04:24:41 PM
Post by: jessilynn on March 04, 2018, 04:24:41 PM
Quote from: rainecloude on May 17, 2017, 10:58:36 AM
I honestly wonder if a big part of the changes identified are just a result of trans girls feeling comfortable enough in their own skin that they can finally imagine people being interested in them.
I know for me when I began to feel more comfortable in my own body I was a little less clueless about people trying to engage me. :P
As someone who used to identify as a gay male being attracted to men or feeling as if men are noticing me isn't unusual so who knows!
You make a very valid point here.
However I do have an update on my previous statement, and I do wonder if anyone has had this happen; My fiance and I were at the closing of our favourite bar... we were OBVIOUSLY a couple holding eachother. And some man comes up and slaps me on the bum. I turned thinking it was a friend, but this guy I did not know. When thebartender had finally noticed, he shooed him away.
So it may be a thing that we just notice more, and this night could have been a one off... but I do notice I get cat called and stuff more often after presenting more as a female rather than just a "cross-dresser."
But VERY good point rainecloude! I love how you worded that too!!!!!! :)
Title: Re: MTF Being Noticed By Men
Post by: Danielle834 on March 07, 2018, 04:59:51 AM
Post by: Danielle834 on March 07, 2018, 04:59:51 AM
Within months of starting hrt and while presenting as male, I definitely noticed men treating me differently. Not so much flirting, but treating me more like a girl. Less locker room talk, speaking more formally and acting more genteel towards me. I figured I was putting of pheromones.
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