Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Asche on April 20, 2017, 03:53:11 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Trans Space
Post by: Asche on April 20, 2017, 03:53:11 PM
Post by: Asche on April 20, 2017, 03:53:11 PM
Recently, I was talking with my therapist about my "addition" to TG stories, and she said that she thought it was my way of spending some time in "trans space," the way queer people feel the need to spend time in queer space.
I noticed it this weekend when I was away at a retreat center. They're very nice people, I've known them for a while (it's mostly the same people each such weekend), but they're not trans. By the end of the weekend, I felt like I was kind of asphyxiating, like the air was missing some vital element. I ended up reading Jennifer Boylan's book (the only trans thing I could find there), even though I'm not all that wild about the book.
And last night I was with a group of trans women who meet more or less regularly on Wednesday evenings at a diner, and it was just such a relief to be among them. I felt like I could relax the way I can't anywhere else in my life.
I realize that almost all of my time is spent in cisnormative (and mostly heteronormative) spaces. None of them ask me to hide my trans-ness (as if I could, anyway), and some people there are incredibly supportive, but it feels like there's a kind of -- validation? -- they can't give me, because they're not trans. It feels like I'm missing some vital nutrient, like I'm suffering a kind of emotional kwashiorkor.
I used to go to a support group locally 3-4 times a month, but I've been having some problems with the group and haven't been going, which seems to make it worse.
Has anyone else noticed this? If so, any suggestions?
I noticed it this weekend when I was away at a retreat center. They're very nice people, I've known them for a while (it's mostly the same people each such weekend), but they're not trans. By the end of the weekend, I felt like I was kind of asphyxiating, like the air was missing some vital element. I ended up reading Jennifer Boylan's book (the only trans thing I could find there), even though I'm not all that wild about the book.
And last night I was with a group of trans women who meet more or less regularly on Wednesday evenings at a diner, and it was just such a relief to be among them. I felt like I could relax the way I can't anywhere else in my life.
I realize that almost all of my time is spent in cisnormative (and mostly heteronormative) spaces. None of them ask me to hide my trans-ness (as if I could, anyway), and some people there are incredibly supportive, but it feels like there's a kind of -- validation? -- they can't give me, because they're not trans. It feels like I'm missing some vital nutrient, like I'm suffering a kind of emotional kwashiorkor.
I used to go to a support group locally 3-4 times a month, but I've been having some problems with the group and haven't been going, which seems to make it worse.
Has anyone else noticed this? If so, any suggestions?
Title: Re: Trans Space
Post by: findingreason on April 20, 2017, 04:06:09 PM
Post by: findingreason on April 20, 2017, 04:06:09 PM
I do find myself feeling out of place in cisnormative/heteronormative groups of people. It's kind of awkward at times, even if they are accepting and open minded. I feel at home around other trans or queer people. A good number of my close friends are trans.
Title: Re: Trans Space
Post by: Sophia Sage on April 20, 2017, 10:31:06 PM
Post by: Sophia Sage on April 20, 2017, 10:31:06 PM
I definitely felt similarly while I was in the midst of transition.
It kind of flipped the other way around once transition was over.
It kind of flipped the other way around once transition was over.
Title: Re: Trans Space
Post by: JeanetteLW on April 20, 2017, 10:39:55 PM
Post by: JeanetteLW on April 20, 2017, 10:39:55 PM
I'll have to get back to you on that once I find saids groups to hang around for awhile. There just isn't any such groups in my bedroom where I spend 99% of my time. LOL
Hugs,
Jeanette
Hugs,
Jeanette
Title: Re: Trans Space
Post by: Janes Groove on April 20, 2017, 10:58:19 PM
Post by: Janes Groove on April 20, 2017, 10:58:19 PM
Cis space:
The ones that don't hate us don't really understand us that well. Not like other trans. How could they?
The others? Well they just hate us.
The ones that don't hate us don't really understand us that well. Not like other trans. How could they?
The others? Well they just hate us.