General Discussions => Entertainment => Humor => Topic started by: Ellen on February 02, 2006, 09:56:54 PM Return to Full Version
Title: shower like a womane / man
Post by: Ellen on February 02, 2006, 09:56:54 PM
Post by: Ellen on February 02, 2006, 09:56:54 PM
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : AND A MAN !
* Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the
way, cover up any exposed areas.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone
* Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
* Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
* Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
* Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse
conditioner off hair.
* Shave armpits and legs.
* Turn off shower
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower
* Spray mold spots with Tilex.
* Get out of shower.
* Dry with towel the size of a small country. * Wrap hair in super
absorbent towel.
* Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
* Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom.
* If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo
sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
* Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
* Get in the shower.
* Wash your face.
* Wash your armpits.
* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
* Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
* Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
* Pee.
* Rinse off and get out of shower.
* Partially dry off.
* Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
whole time.
* Admire wiener size in mirror again.
* Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
* Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
* Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day! Oh, and....woo
woo!!!
* Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the
way, cover up any exposed areas.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone
* Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
* Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
* Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
* Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse
conditioner off hair.
* Shave armpits and legs.
* Turn off shower
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower
* Spray mold spots with Tilex.
* Get out of shower.
* Dry with towel the size of a small country. * Wrap hair in super
absorbent towel.
* Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
* Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom.
* If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo
sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
* Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
* Get in the shower.
* Wash your face.
* Wash your armpits.
* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
* Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
* Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
* Pee.
* Rinse off and get out of shower.
* Partially dry off.
* Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
whole time.
* Admire wiener size in mirror again.
* Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
* Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
* Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day! Oh, and....woo
woo!!!
Title: Re: shower like a womane / man
Post by: Elijah3291 on November 21, 2010, 07:14:07 PM
Post by: Elijah3291 on November 21, 2010, 07:14:07 PM
* If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo
sound.
HAHAHA
* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
* Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
* Pee.
* Partially dry off.
LOL I do all of these things!
Title: Re: shower like a womane / man
Post by: Shang on November 21, 2010, 07:29:44 PM
Post by: Shang on November 21, 2010, 07:29:44 PM
XD I cracked up. Especially the bit with the sound because I can so see it. But, according to the list, I do a nice mix of "woman" and "man" stuff in the shower. xD
Title: Re: shower like a womane / man
Post by: V M on November 21, 2010, 08:32:08 PM
Post by: V M on November 21, 2010, 08:32:08 PM
LOL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That's hilarious :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: shower like a womane / man
Post by: Janet_Girl on November 21, 2010, 10:58:11 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on November 21, 2010, 10:58:11 PM
I have done both ashamedly. Or at least the male side is :icon_redface: .
Title: Re: shower like a womane / man
Post by: rexgsd on November 21, 2010, 10:59:10 PM
Post by: rexgsd on November 21, 2010, 10:59:10 PM
XD OMG! i'm still dying laughing over this!
the best part is that it's so true! haha
p.s. how did they know what we do in there?! :o lol
the best part is that it's so true! haha
p.s. how did they know what we do in there?! :o lol
Title: Re: shower like a womane / man
Post by: Astarielle on November 23, 2010, 08:08:32 PM
Post by: Astarielle on November 23, 2010, 08:08:32 PM
Quote from: Janet Lynn on November 21, 2010, 10:58:11 PMWhy be ashamed of that? I do a lot of both sides too. Mostly blow my nose...well, actually, that's all of it.
I have done both ashamedly. Or at least the male side is :icon_redface: .
What side is "Spend 20 minutes in there somehow?" :D
Title: Re: shower like a womane / man
Post by: deadkazi on November 23, 2010, 08:16:02 PM
Post by: deadkazi on November 23, 2010, 08:16:02 PM
I definitely got a laugh out of this, sad part is I do half of the things that are listed on the mens side. But hey what about us gay men? We shake our wieners at our boyfriend? LOL Thanks for the laughs.
Title: Re: shower like a womane / man
Post by: Darner on December 01, 2010, 06:40:11 AM
Post by: Darner on December 01, 2010, 06:40:11 AM
Haha, this is hilarious :D I do everything on the male list and I kinda got a persecution complex reading this list, how the hell do they know all this? (But the shampoo mohawk is a must ;D)
Btw, what are loofahs (?), pumice stones and and face/arm/leg cloths?
Btw, what are loofahs (?), pumice stones and and face/arm/leg cloths?
Title: Re: shower like a womane / man
Post by: Astarielle on December 17, 2010, 11:20:55 PM
Post by: Astarielle on December 17, 2010, 11:20:55 PM
Quote from: Darner on December 01, 2010, 06:40:11 AM
Haha, this is hilarious :D I do everything on the male list and I kinda got a persecution complex reading this list, how the hell do they know all this? (But the shampoo mohawk is a must ;D)
Btw, what are loofahs (?), pumice stones and and face/arm/leg cloths?
- Loofah: A poofy thing used to wash your body
- Pumice stone: A rough stone used on calluses to soften them
- Face/Arm/Leg Cloths: just what it says on the tin
...I didn't even have to look any of those up O_o