Susan's Place Transgender Resources

More than a week back, I went to a usual social outing with a group. There was a girl in that group who I had feelings for, and I was hurt to find out that she liked somebody else who she only talked with for two weeks (he was a new member in the group). I want to find a girlfriend like that. Please don't tell me "you should be friends first", I have my very strong feelings and I insist that I learn how to achieve that in no more than a couple weeks, as soon as I can. I want to be the guy who can get a girl and make a move before anyone else had the chance. I don't want just sex, I want a girlfriend.

My problem is that I am not very confident and I can't process body language in others or myself. I have Asperger's Syndrome and I also have something physical going on which affects the motor skills in my entire body. I'm feeling depressed, even though the heartbreak over the situation itself quickly subsided.

Do you have any advice for me on what to do?

One of the best advertisements we have for ourselves is a smile. It's like a calling card. People with smiles usually are fun loving, interesting, likable. Anyone can do it.  It is a great door opener. Once you have your foot in the door. Charm the heck  out of her. Laugh, have fun, complement her. It may not happen the first time but the more you try the easier it gets, kind of like voice lessons.
:icon_hug:
Dawn

I can't smile, I don't have a natural smile. My face always looks very stiff. I have to be prompted to smile correctly when I take a portrait.

Try to sit near her without being overly obvious/pushy about it.

Once that's accomplished, make eye contact and say hello (a smile helps, but not completely necessary)

After that, talk to her a little!

If you're completely lost with any of that, I think there are online resources for people on the autism spectrum to help out with body language cues and stuff (no offense intended here, I've looked into it before - it can be useful for anyone that's not socially practiced!)

And don't forget, there are other girls and other chairs. The more you do it the more comfortable you'll feel and the better conversations you'll hold :)

GLHF!

Being bigender and asexual, I tend to remain neutral, but my male side knows what to do to pick up girls-even though he doesn't feel sexual attraction. But only if I've not taken the Thai herb derris scandens in a while (it blends my gender modes).

In the past, I have suddenly become aware there are giggling girls all around me and we are heading for my place, until my female side wakes up and makes an excuse to exit.

If not suppressed by the herb, my male side cracks jokes with pretty girls, asks them about themselves, shows focused interest, compliments their clothes, oozes casual confidence, and finds a way to mention macho activities, i.e.
"You like Australia too? I love going Outback camel trekking, but Sydney is my favorite city there."

It's apparently hardwired into my male mode, but my female side doesn't flirt with men, or respond to flirting, at all.