Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi!

So, I've had some experiences lately that have really caused me to look at the topic of female height from a different angle, and I wanted to share!

First, for reference, I'm 5 ft. 9, and that's with shoes on. I've spent the overwhelming majority of my transition thinking that I'm just soooooo freakishly tall, because I'm almost eye-to-eye with the average guy around here. Even worse, I met with a trans woman a couple years ago (she was 6 ft.) who made a constant big deal about my height, because she assumed I was average female height by my photos. Rather, I'm like four inches taller than average.

She actually scarred me, admittedly, and it affected me for months and months. A couple months afterwards, a guy I chatted with online said that I probably get stares, not because I look good, but because people probably assume I'm trans due to my height. So, obviously, I've struggled with this a lot.  :(

But, the thing is....I got approached three times while walking home recently, and it boosted my confidence a lot. Instead of worrying over looking too lanky or dorky, I decided to embrace my super-long legs and wear booty shorts for the first time in ages. Instead of stares that suggest, "Oh, wow---look at that hideous transgender", I was made to feel like a goddess!!!

I was standing at a crosswalk, waiting for my turn to walk, at one point. This guy behind me got my attention, because he kept looking me up and down. He said, "You are beautiful. You are beautiful...." I was flattered, obviously, and another ten or so minutes later, another guy came up to me, in part because he wanted money for something, but also to say that he's aware that he's not half as attractive as my husband must be (lol?). Then, a few minutes later, I walked past this one dude, who I swore wouldn't even look my way because he was so attractive. I was wrong. As he walked past me, he silently said to me, "You look amazing." I melted.  ::)

So, let's dispel this idea that height is a disadvantage when you're a girl! Clearly men like tall girls, at least to some extent---and I'm not seeing what's so manly about it, given that I can show off my legs in booty shorts, and get compliments from strangers. I'm starting to think that people just put down the height of us trans women, in an effort to make us feel inadequate. Like, really.... I'm not taking issue with being the height of many models.

Thoughts?!

K.C.

 Hi Femfem,

  I am glad your past worries over your height are past. A girl can always use more compliments to boost her moral.
Good for you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I think the "Average" height of females varies a lot with your locality and TBH race and birthplace. How you were feed early on counts for a lot. I can still recall the shock seeing the sales rep for a high tech instrumentation company of Chinese descent standing over 6ft and some 220lbs plus. At the very least the extremes of height which really defines "Normal" disregarding the outliers.

Back in the day when I first experimented with transitioning, just outside of NYC, the spread seemed to be perhaps 4'8 to maybe 5'5"  Six footers like me, forget it. I was 4 inches taller then the "Average" guy! Today looking around women are far taller. 5'10 to 5'8" as a norm with plenty of 6 footers out there (w/o heels). So these days being 6ft, now less thanks to the ravages of time and gravity, I don't feel too out of place and fixate on my height.

Except..... When the basic, albeit sexist, female attitude about guys. Like most women I know I am a lot more attracted to tall guys in real life. Bigger and taller even better. Those feeling cannot help but to have a negative impact on how you feel about your own height when "Taller" is easily a good 3-4 inches minimum then you are when even the most modest heels are 2 inches.

Thanks for posting this!

I was out at the theatre last night with my wife.  I dressed up, because it was the theatre and I could get away with it, and decided to wear my heels for the first time.  I am 5'8" in socks, so with 2" heels, I was by far the tallest woman there.  My wife called me "statuesque", which to me implies big hooters as well as being tall, but she meant just tall.

I was feeling quite self-conscious, so it's nice to hear of your good experience.

Certainly can be! I'm 6'3" so when ever I get feeling bad about being a tall woman I look up stuff like this

http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/most-popular/the-15-hottest-women-over-6-feet-tall/

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I would add, if you're thin. I'm 6'5 and I've only seen a cis woman my height once or twice in my life. Being 5'9 would make things a lot easier.


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Any guy will look at a girl in short shorts no matter how she looks physically if she's skinny. They think they are easy.

Quote from: Gertrude on May 06, 2017, 07:03:19 PM
I would add, if you're thin. I'm 6'5 and I've only seen a cis woman my height once or twice in my life. Being 5'9 would make things a lot easier.


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I wouldn't say thin but maybe fit?

Main issue is tall women stand out, trans or not.  Standing out by definition  draws more attention , making it harder to pass.  So of course I'd love be "only" 5'9".

Nothing I can do about height so try to take inspiration/motivation from some tall cis women.

A lot of the women in my link are too thin being models but Gabby Reece at 6'3" (like me) I've seen listed at 190 pounds so that's within reason for me.



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I'm 5'11 and super proud of my height,
It's like the model height lol I know I'm not a model but I have always liied my height and my legs :'3
I know quiet a lot of tall cis girls and it changes nothing for them honestly

Quote from: TonyaW on May 07, 2017, 08:31:30 AM
I wouldn't say thin but maybe fit?

Main issue is tall women stand out, trans or not.  Standing out by definition  draws more attention , making it harder to pass.  So of course I'd love be "only" 5'9".

Nothing I can do about height so try to take inspiration/motivation from some tall cis women.

A lot of the women in my link are too thin being models but Gabby Reece at 6'3" (like me) I've seen listed at 190 pounds so that's within reason for me.



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Gabby Reese doesn't have my size frame. My LBM might be more than she weighs, and what makes it tough is having 23" shoulders, 57" chest and 39" sleeve length not to mention a longer torso. If there is a god, it has a messed up sense of humor. 5'9 would make getting clothes and passing much easier.


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My cisgender girlfriend was 5ft10, height happens, I'm more worried about finding shoes, I'm 6 ft tall, but the biggest shoes any store carries around here are a size too small (men's shoes fit though), I recently lost a size from weight loss, it might be hoping for a lot, but I've still got a ways to go, maybe I'll lose that last size between another 60 lbs and HRT (fingers crossed). I wouldn't mind losing an inch or two of height either, but I wouldn't worry about it... Tall women exist, it would only out you as one factor in many, and most of the others can be fixed.

Quote from: Gertrude on May 07, 2017, 09:26:52 AM

Gabby Reese doesn't have my size frame. My LBM might be more than she weighs, and what makes it tough is having 23" shoulders, 57" chest and 39" sleeve length not to mention a longer torso. If there is a god, it has a messed up sense of humor. 5'9 would make getting clothes and passing much easier.


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Totally agree on clothes.  I find it difficult at 6'3", can see how much harder your extra 2 inches would be.  Totally with you that I'd trade down to 5'9" in a heartbeat.

I've never been overly big or strong  in upper body but still guess my shoulders are wider than Gabby.

I brought her up because she is considered beautiful by many and she is not a stick like many of the others. She is probably still thinner than most 6"3" women but not ridiculously so.

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Quote from: TonyaW on May 07, 2017, 11:11:25 AM
Totally agree on clothes.  I find it difficult at 6'3", can see how much harder your extra 2 inches would be.  Totally with you that I'd trade down to 5'9" in a heartbeat.

I've never been overly big or strong  in upper body but still guess my shoulders are wider than Gabby.

I brought her up because she is considered beautiful by many and she is not a stick like many of the others. She is probably still thinner than most 6"3" women but not ridiculously so.

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Dr Phil had an aunt that was 6'4 and 220lbs. Wow. I have 4 daughters. The tallest is 6', but weighs about 150. The oldest is 5'9 and I have a 14 and 11 year old. They're both 5'7. The 11 year old is going to be big. She's very broad in the shoulders and solid like a brick. My son is 6'2 and 155. He's a stick figure. Funny thing is my wife is 5'10. I would have thought my son would have been taller.


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Quote from: Laurie on May 06, 2017, 03:59:09 PM
Hi Femfem,

  I am glad your past worries over your height are past. A girl can always use more compliments to boost her moral.
Good for you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Awh thanks. :)

Quote from: JoanneB on May 06, 2017, 04:14:06 PM
I think the "Average" height of females varies a lot with your locality and TBH race and birthplace. How you were feed early on counts for a lot. I can still recall the shock seeing the sales rep for a high tech instrumentation company of Chinese descent standing over 6ft and some 220lbs plus. At the very least the extremes of height which really defines "Normal" disregarding the outliers.

Back in the day when I first experimented with transitioning, just outside of NYC, the spread seemed to be perhaps 4'8 to maybe 5'5"  Six footers like me, forget it. I was 4 inches taller then the "Average" guy! Today looking around women are far taller. 5'10 to 5'8" as a norm with plenty of 6 footers out there (w/o heels). So these days being 6ft, now less thanks to the ravages of time and gravity, I don't feel too out of place and fixate on my height.

Except..... When the basic, albeit sexist, female attitude about guys. Like most women I know I am a lot more attracted to tall guys in real life. Bigger and taller even better. Those feeling cannot help but to have a negative impact on how you feel about your own height when "Taller" is easily a good 3-4 inches minimum then you are when even the most modest heels are 2 inches.

That's crazy, about the typical female height years ago, especially given that the NYC area is quite diverse. In my hometown, which is a rural southern town, people would sort of make a big deal about a girl being 5 ft. 10. Then I went off to college; the enrollment there was around 40,000, and 5 ft. 10 for a woman seemed to be tall-average, at most. I remember being a 5 ft. 9 guy in college, and thinking, "Wow, I'm a freaking shrimp... Just one more reason to follow through with the transition..."

I also noticed, after spending a lot of time in Chicago, for instance, that tall girls seem to be way more typical in big cities. Like, I live in a city of over a million right now, and me being taller for a girl definitely isn't a defining characteristic. People just call me "the skinny girl".

Quote from: KathyLauren on May 06, 2017, 04:20:22 PM
Thanks for posting this!

I was out at the theatre last night with my wife.  I dressed up, because it was the theatre and I could get away with it, and decided to wear my heels for the first time.  I am 5'8" in socks, so with 2" heels, I was by far the tallest woman there.  My wife called me "statuesque", which to me implies big hooters as well as being tall, but she meant just tall.

I was feeling quite self-conscious, so it's nice to hear of your good experience.

I could imagine that resulting in some nervousness. But, you're shorter than I am, and I can reassure you that I get hit on while wearing two-inch heels. It's definitely not something that outs someone as being transsexual!

That being said, I won't wear four-inch heels lol.

Quote from: Gertrude on May 06, 2017, 07:03:19 PM
I would add, if you're thin. I'm 6'5 and I've only seen a cis woman my height once or twice in my life. Being 5'9 would make things a lot easier.


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Well, I think there are many variables... I am not only 5 ft. 9, but I'm about 135 pounds. My frame is smaller than most cisgender women.  Obviously, it would be a leap for someone to think of me as transsexual.

But, at the same time, I used to know a trans woman who was 5 ft. 7, but about 180 lbs. She was so muscled that people clocked her rather frequently, yet still thought I was cis---despite having two inches on her. I'd definitely rather be tall, like you, and skinny, than to be shorter and built like a block. I count my lucky stars, but I've also had an eating disorder since I was 14, meaning I never really grew a lot....

Quote from: Daniellekai on May 07, 2017, 11:00:56 AM
My cisgender girlfriend was 5ft10, height happens, I'm more worried about finding shoes, I'm 6 ft tall, but the biggest shoes any store carries around here are a size too small (men's shoes fit though), I recently lost a size from weight loss, it might be hoping for a lot, but I've still got a ways to go, maybe I'll lose that last size between another 60 lbs and HRT (fingers crossed). I wouldn't mind losing an inch or two of height either, but I wouldn't worry about it... Tall women exist, it would only out you as one factor in many, and most of the others can be fixed.

Good luck. :) I wear size 9 shoes, so it's not a concern I can relate to, which was a surprise since my mother indoctrinated me (pre-transition) into always wearing size 13s... I think she subconsciously wanted me to be big and tall, like the guys in my family are. Rather, I was a rather small guy---and I only realistically wear size 7s in men's shoes...

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on May 06, 2017, 07:14:41 PM
Any guy will look at a girl in short shorts no matter how she looks physically if she's skinny. They think they are easy.

I assure you, sweetheart, I get hit on, even without the booty shorts.

Quote from: femfem on May 07, 2017, 05:55:25 PM
I assure you, sweetheart, I get hit on, even without the booty shorts.

so why make a big thing about it if it happens often? Most people don't act excited if it happens a lot because they are used to it, atleast I don't get excited because I basically expect it everytime I go out.

Quote from: femfem on May 07, 2017, 05:49:53 PM
Well, I think there are many variables... I am not only 5 ft. 9, but I'm about 135 pounds. My frame is smaller than most cisgender women.  Obviously, it would be a leap for someone to think of me as transsexual.

But, at the same time, I used to know a trans woman who was 5 ft. 7, but about 180 lbs. She was so muscled that people clocked her rather frequently, yet still thought I was cis---despite having two inches on her. I'd definitely rather be tall, like you, and skinny, than to be shorter and built like a block. I count my lucky stars, but I've also had an eating disorder since I was 14, meaning I never really grew a lot....

Skinny for me would be 220. Normal was 235-240. Now things orbit me if I drop them.


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I struggle with my height, strange it only started happening when I came out. Guess that one was quietly simmering away in my subconscious all these years.
Anywho, thanks for the positive vibes, I'm going to nip the whole height thing in the bud before it becomes a problem. Tall can be beautiful! Thanks for reminding me of that ;D

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Most super models are super tall. Most of them dont spend a super huge amount of time (none) worrying about whether or not people think they're trans or not. How you walk, talk, behave and carry yourself are much bigger tells than your height.

My cis wife is 5'9" and almost always wears 2 or 2.5" heels.  I am 5'6".  It just is normal for us to be taller than the women we are around.  Most are my height or below.  We've never seen height associated with passing or gendering, from our experience. ;)  I think, like femfem said, other physical attributes lead to passing and gendering a person well before height does.

Height can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. I'm 6'4" so as far as height goes, I don't have what someone would consider average female height. But while that sucks, I'm also able to do things that shorter people can't. One minor thing is being able to reach things on the top shelf. Also it's been my experience at least, that taller people generally weigh more. But if you're apprehensive about your height think about Chyna (Joanie Laurer). She was a female wrestler in the wwe. She was a bit over 6', and didn't wrestle the women. She was big enough that she took on the men. Yet she was just as feminine as could be, and was even asked to pose for Playboy twice, which she accepted happily. I used to have one of the issues she appeared in. So size doesn't matter if you have confidence.

Hope this helps girlfriend!

I come from a tall family and all of us are 10 girls. I am 5' 9" with two sisters at 5' 11". The others figure somewhere along or below. All of us are about the same body type sized between 5 to 10. We all embrace our height and none of have ever wished to be smaller in height (that I know of). I love to ROCK my height. It has served me well and gets me noticed quicker than anyone else -- provided they are not taller.  There are a lot of tall girls out there and one thing that bugs me a little is when a tall woman attempts to make herself smaller by not standing up straight with head held high.
When I wear flats or sandals, I find myself tiptoeing to look over peoples heads -- ugh.  Have you noticed how the shorter the guy in the room is, the more the percentage goes up that he will make a beeline for the tall girl?  Ooooh I hated that.  Must be a fantasy of crawling up our legs or something.

Yes, I agree with you that being a tall drink of water is beautiful!

Quote from: jentay1367 on May 08, 2017, 10:42:24 AM
Most super models are super tall. Most of them dont spend a super huge amount of time (none) worrying about whether or not people think they're trans or not. How you walk, talk, behave and carry yourself are much bigger tells than your height.

And they're stick figures.  Totally different build.


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