Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: gwencook on May 15, 2017, 09:24:34 AM Return to Full Version

Title: I came out to mom and sister today
Post by: gwencook on May 15, 2017, 09:24:34 AM
Hi all,
So on Thursday I came out successful to a really close friend who I essential see as my sister. She took it brilliantly and we've had loads of talks about it and everything is great there. I came out to mom this morning. This was a bit worse. She's told me she would never hate me or stop loving me but because I have am abusive stepfather that I live with (my parents are separated) she thinks it's all because I've never have had my own life so she thinks me being transsexual is a way of escaping. I know I need to give her time but I'm unsure how to prove to her I know without doubt this is who I am.
Any help sweeties?
Title: Re: I came out to mom and sister today
Post by: KathyLauren on May 16, 2017, 06:47:05 AM
If you are seeing a therapist, it might be helpful for your mother to talk to them.  They can explain that being transgender is something you are born with, and answer any questions she may have.
Title: Re: I came out to mom and sister today
Post by: gwencook on May 16, 2017, 11:33:57 AM
I'm not currently seeing a therapist. I'm booking into my doctors next week tk wait for a referral (live in the UK) but as j was researching online I found that waiting times could be approx 18 months and in that time I want tk start living as my true self. Which would include dressing in normal female clothes, growing hair etc. So I thought I'd be best to explain before things started happening.
Title: Re: I came out to mom and sister today
Post by: kat69 on May 17, 2017, 04:36:33 AM
I agree with Kathy that it would be good to have your mother speak to a professional...it's kind of necessary so an impartial third party is providing facts to her.   It might be a good idea to have your mother see a different therapist from the one you are seeing.  All therapists should be professional and provide the same "diagnostic" details about gender dysphoria and ->-bleeped-<-, at the same time as not appearing to be someone "on your team" trying to convince her.   I know it's complicated, but I ran into this problem, and the only way around was having the other party choose a therapist themselves.

You are at the beginning of a long and difficult, yet fulfilling and necessary journey.  I wouldn't turn back now for any reason.  I am happier being Kat than I ever was before...and I'm continuing to experience life with those around me like I was always Kat.

You've got this! 
Title: Re: I came out to mom and sister today
Post by: elkie-t on June 20, 2017, 06:50:51 AM
Quote from: gwencook on May 15, 2017, 09:24:34 AM
Hi all,
So on Thursday I came out successful to a really close friend who I essential see as my sister. She took it brilliantly and we've had loads of talks about it and everything is great there. I came out to mom this morning. This was a bit worse. She's told me she would never hate me or stop loving me but because I have am abusive stepfather that I live with (my parents are separated) she thinks it's all because I've never have had my own life so she thinks me being transsexual is a way of escaping. I know I need to give her time but I'm unsure how to prove to her I know without doubt this is who I am.
Any help sweeties?
Your mother might be right about the roots of your dysphoria. Some members here did go through transition only to realize they were running from the past abuse and seek opposite gender as a safe haven.

On another hand, what does it matter, how it started? You got it, and it's not going away.
Title: Re: I came out to mom and sister today
Post by: eyesk8rboi on June 21, 2017, 03:54:40 PM
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 16, 2017, 06:47:05 AM
If you are seeing a therapist, it might be helpful for your mother to talk to them.  They can explain that being transgender is something you are born with, and answer any questions she may have.

I was going to suggest this!
Once I come out to my mom, assuming she has a hard time, I'm going to have her come to a therapy session with me!

Happy trails!