Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was asked recently when do I consider my transition done? I found it to be a very interesting question. I have medically transitioned. I have socially transitioned. I have legally transitioned. The only thing left for me is bottom surgery but I cannot afford it. But I ask this. If you've reached a point of living, working, playing, socializing female have I completed my transition? I think so what do you think? At what point is a transition over?

I would say when you feel reasonably comfortable with your body and your place in society... When having made the change is not something you think about often and are just living your life.

karen

Quote from: Karen_A on May 28, 2017, 12:28:11 AM
I would say when you feel reasonably comfortable with your body and your place in society... When having made the change is not something you think about often and are just living your life.

Well said, Karen.

All the best,
--AshleyP

I have been on HRT for two years, and have been out as a transgender woman for sometime. I may not need any surgery at all. While I have legally changed my middle name to Wendy, there are still documents I need to obtain. I am processing being considered a woman by my vocational counselors. I know it always fees hard to fit in, and there is always a little insecurity sub-consciously. I do not know if I need to transition any further, the main thing for me at 50 is not to live my life as a sex symbol, but to show and gain self respect as a woman.

That was certainly the point when I felt that transition was over (when I was living completely and comfortably as female). I didn't have GRS for a couple years more, but that didn't matter to anyone but me and my wife.

It's over when I no longer think about being female, and just am. That's going to be a different point for everyone, but I suspect for most it comes before GRS, and some years after starting HRT.

My transition was over when I'd addressed all the things I needed to address to live a woman's life.  For me, that included all my medical and legal procedures -- in order: facial hair removal, voice retraining, HRT, facial surgery, legal name change with associated documents, and SRS/BAS.

There were still a few years of transsexing after this -- socialization with a closed narrative, primarily. 

Quote from: Karen_A on May 28, 2017, 12:28:11 AM
I would say when you feel reasonably comfortable with your body and your place in society... When having made the change is not something you think about often and are just living your life.

karen

Absolutely.
I think the same.
It's about your journey, your quest, if there's nothing to ask for as a woman or trans-woman (I don't know how you identify) then you are just...

... Free to be yourself.
And that's a looot when considering how far you've come to get there. At last.
Very Inspiring.

LoveLuvLv.
Kael.

When you've nothing left to change.  That is my simple answer.

If I don't care about something, and I am not going to change it, then it doesn't count.  If I can't afford the cost of changing something and am resigned to not changing it, then it doesn't count.  I say that because transition has different end goals for everyone.  There is no defined transition process that fits all, so when one no longer has anything left to change in THEIR transition, then it is complete.

For me it is when I have GRS and change my legal documents. The former will occur before the latter by at least a couple months, though hopefully not more. I'm having GRS  soon. But, really does transition ever end? And I'm a younger transtioner than most.

Quote from: Spunky Brewster on June 02, 2017, 03:42:24 PM
For me it is when I have GRS and change my legal documents. The former will occur before the latter by at least a couple months, though hopefully not more. I'm having GRS  soon. But, really does transition ever end? And I'm a younger transtioner than most.

If transition never ends (we're always changing in some way, shape, or form) then similarly it never really had a beginning, either.  In which case it's a meaningless distinction.

But I never found transition meaningless, or so vague and amorphous.  I think of it as a ritual, with a beginning, middle, and end.  It usually begins with some form of coming out, a "rite of separation" that changes one's social status from "cis" to "trans."  Then follows a liminal period -- all the stuff we do to change our bodies, not to mention going through the world for a period of time being visibly gender variant.  Finally, there are the "rites of incorporation" -- those steps where society brings us back into the fold as our chosen gender -- and for society, that typically means SRS and changes to documentation making everything "official."

Quote from: Karen_A on May 28, 2017, 12:28:11 AM
I would say when you feel reasonably comfortable with your body and your place in society... When having made the change is not something you think about often and are just living your life.

karen

This.

When I learned from my therapist that I appear to be transgender. I always thought I was pretty much alone and  someone frowned on by society. When I came forward and revealed to friends and family that my life long suspicions appear to be validated these feelings that something is off. I have 7 out of 11 or so symptoms associated with DES in utero. Unfortunately at this time in my life full transition is not possible. But I am doing what I can with HRT. Nine months now. I suspected I may have some remorse but so far I feel no remorse, no questioning. no disappointment. I am making progress in that I am gaining confidence in wandering out in public. My status today as compared to a year ago indicates I am almost as far as I can go. No GCS, No FFS  I know this is only because of my age. If I were in my twenties again I am sure I would go all out. I will continue with HRT for the rest of my life. I will do what I can to remove the stigma and help future generations to live life without fear. I've learned a lot this last year. Good people being forced  into unhealthy situations. I made the mistake of assuming someone whose transition appeared to be successful would be filled with joy. I congratulated her on her success and she took offense. I still can't have babies she said. I know at points in my life I had that desire. So maybe until uterus's can be transplanted successfully, maybe nobody's transition is over.

When I'm comfortable with my body and look like a woman.

Actually having a trans related history, transition is never really over, unless you can forget or deny everything in your life prior to transition. There is always something from your previous gender that comes back.

I think the bottom line is that it's over whenever you say it's over.  It could be after completion of specific procedures, when you think you pass, etc...  Since I don't have anything planned other than essentially maintenance at this point, I called it over the moment I came in to work as me.  Personally, I think it's healthier to call it oneself, rather than pegging it to something other people may or may not do or say.  But the definitions of peoples' transitions are as varied as the people themselves.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but since you asked, I say you're done!!! Congratulations!

Erin

Quote from: Dani on June 10, 2017, 12:47:41 PM
Actually having a trans related history, transition is never really over, unless you can forget or deny everything in your life prior to transition.

Or, you can reframe your understanding of your personal narrative and history, and remember that you've always been female (or male, as the case may be).

QuoteThere is always something from your previous gender that comes back.

Not always, not for everyone.

I understand the context in which this question was asked i.e. transitioning from one gender to the other but in the broader scheme of things, everyone whether trans or not is in transition from the moment of birth until the day we die. Change is the nature of and cycle of life.

I transitioned young in reference to the trans thing. If we want to break this down, I had always expressed myself as a girl and if one should want to get really technical, maybe it was after the 2nd grade when I was allowed to begin growing out my hair at a time when boys just didn't do these things that my presentation began to more reflect my inner nature? It was not until I was 15, however, that things became clearly overt and the defined stereotypical gender boundaries were unapologetically crossed. I got my ears pierced, shaved my legs, got my brows done and wore progressively more feminine clothes and already had pretty blonde hair several inches well beyond my shoulders. I started hormones after the 11th grade and by the time I graduated was more than ready to complete my transition to a new name and pronouns and that's what I did.

Was this the end of my transition? In a way it was but only one of many. Gone were the quizzical looks of people wondering if I was a boy or a girl and socially my life completely turned around and became a million times more normal but I was still growing and changing and learning about life and work and how to get by. Was it several years later when I had SRS at 22 that my transition was over? Was it several years after that when I was around 28 and had my boobs done?

I had gone from a teenage girl to a young woman. From a lowly clerk to a manager supervising others. From dirt poor worrying about food and a roof over my head to some degree of stability and freedom to do the things I wanted to do but then my life went through transition again. From a footloose and fancy free chick that liked to party to a responsible, settled down married woman with a husband and a mortgage and the roles of a housewife with a full time job. Transitions, transitions, transitions.

As the years passed, I found myself once again being reinvented as a mid-40's divorcee on my own struggling again to redefine myself and for a while, lived the fast drugs, sex and rock and roll lifestyle until finding a degree of balance and going through several 5-year, live together relationships and starting my own business. Change, change and more change.

And now six months out from my 63rd birthday, I'm changing again. After a lifetime of being oblivious and deeply closeted, I've joined this and another trans forum for the very first time in my life to learn more about others that have walked a similar path when I was never interested before. As gravity takes its toll, as my boobs aren't perky as they used to be, as my middle has thickened and as I see signs that my face is beginning to slide off my skull and my looks are beginning to fade, I am in transition yet again to the mature years of my life so it never ends and is on-going.

So, is my transition over? I hope I don't stop growing and changing until the day I die