Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: amanda_mc on June 17, 2017, 01:02:36 PM Return to Full Version
Title: About Me, My Introduction
Post by: amanda_mc on June 17, 2017, 01:02:36 PM
Post by: amanda_mc on June 17, 2017, 01:02:36 PM
Hello all,
My name is Amanda, and I am a 39 year old bi-sexual woman (MTF). I have no children, but how I fantasize about being able to bear a child, I would like to introduce myself. I visited the website in the past, however never really posted or connected with people.
My Name: Well I chose my name because it means "worthy of love". I knew my decision to transition would come to a shock to loved ones, and that there will be difficult times ahead, but I told myself I need to transition for me because I am worth it.
A little about my dark past:
In the past I have chosen to put my head in the sand, living a life riddled with mental health issues because I failed to look within. I was consistently being followed by the dark clouds of depression. I ended up having a few suicide attempts, but then I came to a realization about my meaning of life; it was simply put creation. Creation can be a choice, I choose to create ideas, choose to love etc. They are many forms of creation. Because of this, I decided to never destroy my life. The most beautiful manifestation of creation is life itself. I still struggled with my life, not knowing what was wrong with me, I told myself I would never kill myself, but I sure hope something happens today that would kill me. I have had a few happy moments when I was younger buying women clothes and wearing them in private, but that was quickly suppressed and later turned into shame/guilt. I am not perfect and I have to grieve all the lost experiences. but I have to live for today, and I choose to be happy, and in 2014 I started following my heart.
The beginning of my bright future.
I suggested to my partner one night if she would be ok with a "role reversal". I would "play" the woman and she the man. I shaved my legs my armpits, put on a stuffed bra, did my hair and nails. And i was in heaven. My partner was shocked of how much I was enjoyed this role reversal. This night sparked something in me.
Later I googled "feeling like a woman", then read more about transgender and gender vs sex. The picture of my life started to make sense, as I realized that I am a woman. In 2014 I talked to my partner about this, and told her I have to transition. I cant ever go back. She was shocked, but that night or the night after she came home with a transition kit, she bought me make-up and the works. She was so supportive. We are engaged , and I had the typical guy ring, and not long after she proposed to me with a diamond ring. I was shocked and obviously cried. I am so grateful. I started hormones May 2015, and will be Post op hopefully in the next few months. (Yah!)
Tried to keep it short,
Amanda
My name is Amanda, and I am a 39 year old bi-sexual woman (MTF). I have no children, but how I fantasize about being able to bear a child, I would like to introduce myself. I visited the website in the past, however never really posted or connected with people.
My Name: Well I chose my name because it means "worthy of love". I knew my decision to transition would come to a shock to loved ones, and that there will be difficult times ahead, but I told myself I need to transition for me because I am worth it.
A little about my dark past:
In the past I have chosen to put my head in the sand, living a life riddled with mental health issues because I failed to look within. I was consistently being followed by the dark clouds of depression. I ended up having a few suicide attempts, but then I came to a realization about my meaning of life; it was simply put creation. Creation can be a choice, I choose to create ideas, choose to love etc. They are many forms of creation. Because of this, I decided to never destroy my life. The most beautiful manifestation of creation is life itself. I still struggled with my life, not knowing what was wrong with me, I told myself I would never kill myself, but I sure hope something happens today that would kill me. I have had a few happy moments when I was younger buying women clothes and wearing them in private, but that was quickly suppressed and later turned into shame/guilt. I am not perfect and I have to grieve all the lost experiences. but I have to live for today, and I choose to be happy, and in 2014 I started following my heart.
The beginning of my bright future.
I suggested to my partner one night if she would be ok with a "role reversal". I would "play" the woman and she the man. I shaved my legs my armpits, put on a stuffed bra, did my hair and nails. And i was in heaven. My partner was shocked of how much I was enjoyed this role reversal. This night sparked something in me.
Later I googled "feeling like a woman", then read more about transgender and gender vs sex. The picture of my life started to make sense, as I realized that I am a woman. In 2014 I talked to my partner about this, and told her I have to transition. I cant ever go back. She was shocked, but that night or the night after she came home with a transition kit, she bought me make-up and the works. She was so supportive. We are engaged , and I had the typical guy ring, and not long after she proposed to me with a diamond ring. I was shocked and obviously cried. I am so grateful. I started hormones May 2015, and will be Post op hopefully in the next few months. (Yah!)
Tried to keep it short,
Amanda
Title: Re: About Me, My Introduction
Post by: LindseyP on June 17, 2017, 02:11:46 PM
Post by: LindseyP on June 17, 2017, 02:11:46 PM
I got a little teary reading your story. (Good teary!) Welcome <3
Title: Re: About Me, My Introduction
Post by: Michelle_P on June 17, 2017, 04:11:06 PM
Post by: Michelle_P on June 17, 2017, 04:11:06 PM
Hi, Amanda!
Congratulations on your engagement and amazing partner. I hope all goes well for the two of you.
I hope you feel welcome here.
A Cautionary Note:
Please try to remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out there somewhere make sure of this.
This is a public forum. We cannot insure that any information shared on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. There is no way to guarantee that automated image and writing style analyzers out there won't see and process your post.
Do not share anything on Susan's that you do not want to be public information.
I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to take a look, please take a moment to go through them.
Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.
Congratulations on your engagement and amazing partner. I hope all goes well for the two of you.
I hope you feel welcome here.
A Cautionary Note:
Please try to remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out there somewhere make sure of this.
This is a public forum. We cannot insure that any information shared on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. There is no way to guarantee that automated image and writing style analyzers out there won't see and process your post.
Do not share anything on Susan's that you do not want to be public information.
I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to take a look, please take a moment to go through them.
Things that you should read
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar or set a profile picture) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.
Title: Re: About Me, My Introduction
Post by: V M on June 17, 2017, 08:49:37 PM
Post by: V M on June 17, 2017, 08:49:37 PM
Hi Amanda :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: About Me, My Introduction
Post by: LindseyP on June 17, 2017, 09:51:26 PM
Post by: LindseyP on June 17, 2017, 09:51:26 PM
Quote from: Michelle_P on June 17, 2017, 04:11:06 PM
A Cautionary Note:
Please try to remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out there somewhere make sure of this.
This is a public forum. We cannot insure that any information shared on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. There is no way to guarantee that automated image and writing style analyzers out there won't see and process your post.
Do not share anything on Susan's that you do not want to be public information.
Yikes! That caught my attention. Now I need to go back and look through my posts so far! Thanks for the caution.
Title: Re: About Me, My Introduction
Post by: Devlyn on June 18, 2017, 07:49:55 AM
Post by: Devlyn on June 18, 2017, 07:49:55 AM
Hi Amanda, welcome to Susan's Place! It's good to hear about a relationship strong enough to navigate these waters. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Looking forward to seeing you around the site!
Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: About Me, My Introduction
Post by: Dan on June 24, 2017, 11:32:58 PM
Post by: Dan on June 24, 2017, 11:32:58 PM
What an awesome story, Amanda! And your wife is just beyond word's amazing.