Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I feel seriously overwhelmed, or rather I go back and forth between feeling hopeful and sketching out plans to "oh my god what are you doing this is insane, you can't do this!"

It's all just so....much.  I called a local laser place to see what they charged, then I looked at s few makeup tutorials for future reference when the time come.  Thinking that this was just 2 of a plethora of other things I am going to need to do, I almost broke down crying!

I think about the facial hair, and then I realize I have to address this multitude of body hair I have, and then I think about how I have lost so much hair on my head, which then I start thinking that I can't afford hair transplants so I will have to wear wigs forever, and I think you know where I am going with this, it can easily snowball in to a never ending list of ->-bleeped-<- I have to worry about.

I know that there isn't a set timeframe that I have to do this on, and I can take my time and get to a place where I feel comfortable I can go full time.  But that is also at war with not only my natural tendency to worry, but this feeling of "you are 35 and aren't getting any younger, go go go!!"

I doubt that I am alone in this and I am sure it's something everyone goes through early on.  I just worry that I am only 2 sessions in with a therapist and I haven't even done anything yet and I am worried, what am I gonna do when stuff really starts moving!?

Well, yes, there is a lot, but the whole transition process just takes time, and during all that time there is plenty of opportunity to take caae of the fiddly details.

Starting hair removal is a good first step.   Don't worry too much about the makeup right now.  Thats for later, when you are spending time in public.

Wigs are something many of us just live with, but the good news is that if you go onto HRT, there may be a reversal of recent hair loss.  Longer term, after facial feminization surgery (FFS) should you go that route, hair transplantation might be a possibility.  (We generally wait till then to hide the line from a forehead incision, and to allow for changes in facial skin position.) Some medical tech gets cheaper over time.  Some insurance plans might eventually allow coverage as part of treatment.  You may have higher income.  Stuff changes over time, so don't worry about the distant future too much.

35 is plenty young.  I started transition at 62.  I may be 65 when I get FFS and Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS).  I'm  OK with that.  It's not like I can go back in time and tell my younger self to transition earlier.  ::)

Quote from: Michelle_P on June 22, 2017, 05:11:38 PM
Well, yes, there is a lot, but the whole transition process just takes time, and during all that time there is plenty of opportunity to take caae of the fiddly details.

Starting hair removal is a good first step.   Don't worry too much about the makeup right now.  Thats for later, when you are spending time in public.

Wigs are something many of us just live with, but the good news is that if you go onto HRT, there may be a reversal of recent hair loss.  Longer term, after facial feminization surgery (FFS) should you go that route, hair transplantation might be a possibility.  (We generally wait till then to hide the line from a forehead incision, and to allow for changes in facial skin position.) Some medical tech gets cheaper over time.  Some insurance plans might eventually allow coverage as part of treatment.  You may have higher income.  Stuff changes over time, so don't worry about the distant future too much.

35 is plenty young.  I started transition at 62.  I may be 65 when I get FFS and Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS).  I'm  OK with that.  It's not like I can go back in time and tell my younger self to transition earlier.  ::)

Yeah, I have always had a tendency to let my anxiety snowball out of control sometimes, believe it or not I used to be a lot worse!

I just need to keep calm and take things one day at a time and one step at a time.  I know part of my worry is current financial debt, so instead of worrying about how much all of this future stuff may cost me, I am gonna figure out how to pay off the bills I already have!

I feel the same way about my transitioning every day. I find that it makes it less stressful if you focus on one aspect at a time instead of burying yourself with worries of how can I do this and that and the other thing.

It is overwhelming for all of us...no one just wakes up one morning it is all done.   Much like any long journey, it must be done in manageable steps.  At the beginning it all seems so hard and impossible....it's not.  Start...you'll see.   At each individual step you'll find victories, until one day you realize you've more steps behind you than are left in front of you.   

You will get there.  Believe in you!

What color is your hair? Skin?  Laser works well on light skin and dark hair. Electrolysis for everything else. You can get an IPL unit from Groupon for about $200 and do it at home. I don't have dark hair so I don't know how well it works. Nanci charges $1 per minute and so far I have about $1200 invested in electrolysis. Next time someone says it's my choice to be transgender I'm going to stick a hair probe up their toosh and set it for high. Then ask for their opinion again.

Quote from: kat69 on June 24, 2017, 02:55:02 PM
It is overwhelming for all of us...no one just wakes up one morning it is all done.   Much like any long journey, it must be done in manageable steps.  At the beginning it all seems so hard and impossible....it's not.  Start...you'll see.   At each individual step you'll find victories, until one day you realize you've more steps behind you than are left in front of you.   

You will get there.  Believe in you!

My wife and I had a discussion this morning about it.  She has had a really hard time so far but she is trying as best she can.  She is trans herself and recommended a timeline for me based on what she learned. 

Basically we figure it would probably take 2 years to go full time.  I am getting me referral for HRT, while I start that I will also be getting gastric bypass, which will help in this case, but was already planned ahead of time.  While I get in shape and let HRT does it's thing, I am going to attack all of the hair that I can as fast as I can.

I can practice things like voice, makeup, that kind of stuff at home during the entire period.  Then once I get closer to the 2 year mark I will take some time off work for FFS and tell them "when I get back I'm gonna be a girl, k thx."

2 years seems like forever but hopefully it will fly by.

Quote from: DawnOday on June 24, 2017, 04:36:19 PM
What color is your hair? Skin?  Laser works well on light skin and dark hair. Electrolysis for everything else. You can get an IPL unit from Groupon for about $200 and do it at home. I don't have dark hair so I don't know how well it works. Nanci charges $1 per minute and so far I have about $1200 invested in electrolysis. Next time someone says it's my choice to be transgender I'm going to stick a hair probe up their toosh and set it for high. Then ask for their opinion again.

I have dark black hair and white/slightly olive on my arms which are more tanned.  I can get insurance to pay for facial hair removal, but body hair I may have to do on my own.  I plan on making my first facial laser appointment next week.  Once I get my referral to the Kaiser transition clinic I can inquire about body hair removal and what they might cover, if anything.

Yes, there's a lot that goes into transition. It takes a long time. Don't worry too much about your body hair now, focus on your facial hair and over time come back to the body hair when hrt has done its thing in reducing it.

you are not alone. I always thought that in the beginning. You start thinking about all of the what if's and having self doubt. It seems like a impossible, but then again many things seem impossible until you actually do them

Hi ChloChlo,

  I see post like this from younger people like you and just want to reach through the screen and smack you young folk up the side of the head. Then I remember that these issues are no less important and pressing to them than they are to us older transitioning  ladies.
   Yes, looking at everything all at once is overwhelming. I am going to recommend something that I personally do not do because it does not work for me but it does for most people. If you must look at all the things you feel you will need to do, sit down and make a list of all the items and then  put them onto a timeline in order of your priorities. In other words (shudder) make a plan. Once you have it on a timeline start with the first item and begin to focus your attention on that, not the whole overwhelming  picture.
   Like I said, this doesn't work for me as I prefer spontaneity. I do what I think needs to be done when the time for doing it hits me. Doing so brings it's on chain of events to be addressed to accomplish it. For example, I started HRT with illegal meds that do affect my health and meds I was already taking, this led to coming out to my doctor who got me onto HRT through proper channels and into therapy which helps me understand who I really am. This and help from folks here has led to  coming out to everyone and living full time as myself. It's still a work in progress but it is in progress.
   My next issue was to start electrolysis. I am doing that and setting up weekly sessions from now to whenever. Again a solution has been started and is a work in progress.  What is next I am still waiting for it to hit me. Will it be names changes and documents modified? Some sort of feminization surgery? Voice training? I don't know but I do know I have two of my steps in progress and therefore I am moving forward.
   That works for me but for most creating a plan is a good way of handling the stress and taming the overwhelming beast.

I hope you are able to tame your beast. There is not right or wrong way to approach this thing. It is what works for you. Good luck in your journey.

Hugs,
   Laurie