Susan's Place Transgender Resources

i'm mtf for about 2 years. my body has come a long ways. my chest was flat now a 38C. no one at work has said anything yet just strange looks and staring at my chest. i'm afraid to come out, but over the last year i've been wearing all female clothing that still looks like male clothing just more fitted. after my first year i was a 38B but i started using bra inserts to look bigger. over time i got bigger ones and bigger ones. now i look like a big D cup and still no one says anything. the only thing that still looks male is my face and from start to now it looks like a different person. my hair is thicker and down past my shoulders, it was an army cut. what do i have to do, wear a dress before someone says anything?

Quote from: mike_vanstiphout on June 25, 2017, 07:44:47 AM
i'm mtf for about 2 years. my body has come a long ways. my chest was flat now a 38C. no one at work has said anything yet just strange looks and staring at my chest. i'm afraid to come out, but over the last year i've been wearing all female clothing that still looks like male clothing just more fitted. after my first year i was a 38B but i started using bra inserts to look bigger. over time i got bigger ones and bigger ones. now i look like a big D cup and still no one says anything. the only thing that still looks male is my face and from start to now it looks like a different person. my hair is thicker and down past my shoulders, it was an army cut. what do i have to do, wear a dress before someone says anything?

In today's micro-aggression phobic world ruled by the PC police you are surprised nobody said anything  ???

i wish they would. i feel like i cant come out until someone says something. then watch out the cats out of the bag now

Why don't you just tell them if you want to come out? If no one has asked you what's up by now I doubt they are going to. I'm totally sure they pretty much guessed something is up with you and probably just don't like want to hurt your feelings.  Wow, you work with people who mind their own business. That's like totally rare!

Quote from: mike_vanstiphout on June 25, 2017, 07:44:47 AM
i'm mtf for about 2 years. my body has come a long ways. my chest was flat now a 38C. no one at work has said anything yet just strange looks and staring at my chest. i'm afraid to come out, but over the last year i've been wearing all female clothing that still looks like male clothing just more fitted. after my first year i was a 38B but i started using bra inserts to look bigger. over time i got bigger ones and bigger ones. now i look like a big D cup and still no one says anything. the only thing that still looks male is my face and from start to now it looks like a different person. my hair is thicker and down past my shoulders, it was an army cut. what do i have to do, wear a dress before someone says anything?

I guess my question is as to,what you want? It's you that comes out, not the world that outs you.  It seems, my analysis, that you are afraid to come out so you are hoping someone will notice and say something.  If you've been through all the changes why don't you just wear a dress, unless that isn't who you are.  Personally I couldn't wait to get female uniforms and wear a skirt to work the first day.  I wanted to be myself so I became her.   

They don't care, at least as long as it doesn't affect your work performance or theirs. Or they respect you enough not to bring it up without you doing so first.

Coming out is a ritual initiated by the petitioner, a formal act of asking for a new social convention regarding your identity... be it on the axis of sexuality or the axis of gender.

In a professional environment especially, it's rude to ask someone else if they're coming out, as this is a personal matter and not a professional one (unless one's presentation is integral to the work, like if you're in sales or something?) though of course not all work environments are professional!

The point at which you're ready to ask for a name change at HR is likely a good time to come out.  Until then, maybe finish electrolysis and get your facial surgery if that's in the cards for you?

Maybe they have an idea, but haven't made it to the next step.  There's some truth in the signature below: People just see what they want to see.  If they've known you as a guy and you haven't told them anything, then maybe that's all they'll see.

My sibling is also trans and told me they wouldn't have guessed despite the changes they noticed.

If you're not comfortable with saying anything about it, just as I am also not comfortable with it myself, then why even put it out there?  Some people want to, but it's personally not my thing.

I think people are genuinely sure that there is something going on. They notice but probably due to respecting you/talking behind your back not mentioned anything.

People DO notice! It's down to you how to deal :)

They are being polite and waiting for you to break the news to them. It's time to do that. My humble opinion.

Quote from: Dan on July 14, 2017, 05:38:13 AM
They are being polite and waiting for you to break the news to them. It's time to do that. My humble opinion.

I agree. You need to initiate this. Start with HR, they'll know what to do.


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I just want to say that it's never as scary as it could be. You might as well blurt it out. If you do you get the upper hand at least in that moment, and if you pretend nothing interesting is happening, people will still talk.