Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I haven't came out yet and am still struggling with this whole thing. I'm in college 22 years old, and have felt like something's been off since about 1st grade, maybe even before that but I have bad memory. But I do remember always wanting to be with girls, wanting to be one, and wearing their clothes. Parents forced me into sports, and family isn't open to any lgbt acceptance. That's how I was raised thinking it was something terrible, and unforgivable. Throughout my life I've felt this way, my best friends since 1st grade have all been girls, we go shopping together, we hangout etc. They often letting me pick out their clothes because "I have good taste". Only one of my friends knows because I told her a few days ago, which took a lot for me because everyone sees me as this really "manly" guy.

The past few months I've been giving it a lot of thought, and what makes me happy/what will make me happy and not really caring what my family thinks(It's still hard to accept that). So I'm scheduling an appointment with a therapist soon! :)

One of my biggest worries is not being able to pass, and just looking like myself (a guy) wearing girls clothing. When I know I don't feel that way, but my dysphoria starts acting up making me panic/anxiety. Thinking I look far to masculine to pass. This me currently: https://imgur.com/a/yjfAR

I just got out of the shower so my hair looks terrible I know

Does anyone else feel this way? Ps: if you recognize me from photos in rl, keep it shh please lol

Hi,
I think that everyone feels this and for many of us it is true.  I look back on pictures of myself when I first came out and shudder sometimes.  Here is my experience.

Time and hormones and practice and courage will transcend biology pretty much every time.  But it takes a while and everyone's story is different.  You're one of the lucky ones, youth and the malleability of the human body are in your favor.  Hormones will work their magic far more quickly than they do with older chicks like me. 

Transition is the most profound, the hardest, and the most rewarding thing I have ever done.  Courage is required, heart is required and support is required.  Get those three right and your life will exceed your dreams and your imagination will be outdone by your reality.

Good luck and mama Julie will always be available to you, should you need to borrow strength.

Peace,
JB

PS Welcome to Susan's   :icon_razz:

Quote from: Chloe_sc on June 26, 2017, 09:56:04 AM
I haven't came out yet and am still struggling with this whole thing. I'm in college 22 years old, and have felt like something's been off since about 1st grade, maybe even before that but I have bad memory. But I do remember always wanting to be with girls, wanting to be one, and wearing their clothes. Parents forced me into sports, and family isn't open to any lgbt acceptance. That's how I was raised thinking it was something terrible, and unforgivable. Throughout my life I've felt this way, my best friends since 1st grade have all been girls, we go shopping together, we hangout etc. They often letting me pick out their clothes because "I have good taste". Only one of my friends knows because I told her a few days ago, which took a lot for me because everyone sees me as this really "manly" guy.

The past few months I've been giving it a lot of thought, and what makes me happy/what will make me happy and not really caring what my family thinks(It's still hard to accept that). So I'm scheduling an appointment with a therapist soon! :)

One of my biggest worries is not being able to pass, and just looking like myself (a guy) wearing girls clothing. When I know I don't feel that way, but my dysphoria starts acting up making me panic/anxiety. Thinking I look far to masculine to pass. This me currently: https://imgur.com/a/yjfAR

I just got out of the shower so my hair looks terrible I know

Does anyone else feel this way? Ps: if you recognize me from photos in rl, keep it shh please lol

You look very female in your picture; I'm amazed you're not on hormones yet :)

Welcome to Susan's Place. As the picture were most likely taken with a cell camera, it's a little hard to be sure but with a little work and time you will have a fairly feminine face. You seem to have a heart shaped face that with the correct hairstyle, HRT and a little makeup should feminize nicely. One thing you need to work on is facial hair removal but mostly that just takes time.

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You look just fine and with some HRT you will be fantastic. But first things first, many of us transition because we have no other real choice.  The alternatives are self destructive in one way or another. I am talking about drugs or alcohol to escape reality or even the most destructive  act any person can do to themselves.

When you see your counselor, be totally honest about your self and your long term goals. Your mental transition is much more important than the physical. Hormones do wonderful things to your appearance. Also keeping your weight down and refrain from smoking and excess alcohol will keep you healthy enough for surgery, if that is your goal.

Young people usually have an easier time in transition. It is the older girls who need a lot of help.

Hi Chloe.  I'm Julia.  Welcome to the site. I think you have feminine features. With hrt you should totally be able to pass. The younger you start the better the results.

Quote from: Chloe_sc on June 26, 2017, 09:56:04 AM
I haven't came out yet and am still struggling with this whole thing. I'm in college 22 years old, and have felt like something's been off since about 1st grade, maybe even before that but I have bad memory. But I do remember always wanting to be with girls, wanting to be one, and wearing their clothes. Parents forced me into sports, and family isn't open to any lgbt acceptance. That's how I was raised thinking it was something terrible, and unforgivable. Throughout my life I've felt this way, my best friends since 1st grade have all been girls, we go shopping together, we hangout etc. They often letting me pick out their clothes because "I have good taste". Only one of my friends knows because I told her a few days ago, which took a lot for me because everyone sees me as this really "manly" guy.

The past few months I've been giving it a lot of thought, and what makes me happy/what will make me happy and not really caring what my family thinks(It's still hard to accept that). So I'm scheduling an appointment with a therapist soon! :)

One of my biggest worries is not being able to pass, and just looking like myself (a guy) wearing girls clothing. When I know I don't feel that way, but my dysphoria starts acting up making me panic/anxiety. Thinking I look far to masculine to pass. This me currently: https://imgur.com/a/yjfAR

I just got out of the shower so my hair looks terrible I know

Does anyone else feel this way? Ps: if you recognize me from photos in rl, keep it shh please lol

Hey Chloe!

First of all welcome! Secondly I think you look very feminine in those pictures (and cute:P). I don't think you'll have a problem with passing, and definitely not after hormones. I think everyone is harsh on themselves when they decide they want to transition - nearly everyone thinks they won't pass even when they will. I for example think I'm not going to pass and practically everyone else has told me otherwise. Just believe in yourself. If you feel you are definitely trans then go for it :)

We are definitely the worst critics of ourselves.  You see the same thing you've seen for 20+ years.  Give people a reason to see female and they will. 

I agree that some time on estrogen will help. 

About your doubts, welcome to the club.  If there are a handful of people here that didn't have doubts in the beginning I'd be surprised.  We all asked "am I Trans enough?" A therapist will help you there.

You have taken the first step, asking questions. 

- Denise

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

You have a rather androgynous face judging from your pics.
Your hair is very full looking but it looks like you may be starting to thin along the hairline.
There is an anti androgen called finasteride that will stop any hair loss after taking it for six months.
Your eyebrows are very thick and need thinning and shaping which is not at all hard to correct.
Hard to say about your nose without a profile but it looks rather good as it does not appear to be profoundly wide.
You have awesome lips I think, very full and your upper lip is shorter than the bottom which is a common female trait.
Your jaw has a rather V line profile which is also an advantage as that is more feminine looking too, plus your chin appears rather pointed and not square.
Big chubby cheeks too!
Your teeth are in excellent condition, very straight and you have a radiant smile.
Overall the proportions of your face read more as female than male.
You are very young at 22 and would do well with hormone therapy and I think after about one year you would look dramatically different and very femme.
You have a wonderful starting point and while I understand your worries about how you look because we all do at the beginning you should try not to worry too much.
I discovered a site http://www.virtualffs.co.uk/ that might be helpful.
They discuss facial characteristics in detail and explain why they look male or female.