Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just curious if people you know really understand your transition. I only have a sister that really knows , but I'm not totally sure she understands , but she seems to accept.

Mostly yes. My dad and brother totally accept me. When I came out as trans my dad actually did a lot of research on trans people. But I don't think my mother totally understands. She accepts me mostly but she has said more than once she doesn't completely understand why I wanted to do this. I've explained it a few times.  I don't think she really cares about trying to understand it. My mom and I have never been close. I think I freaked her out when I was born.  Its always been my dad who did everything for me as long as I could remember. My mom's not a bad mom or anything. She just never bonded with me as a child like she did with  my brother.

Everyone around me accepts my transition.  I know that some of them understand, but I wouldn't bet that everyone does.  I am pretty sure that some of them don't but are too polite to say anything.  I'm okay with that.

Even if I transition, I don't plan on getting vocal surgery, facial surgery *maybe a nose job, but I want one anyways*, I'm very comfortable in my skin, I just SRS and hormones. I don't even care about having long hair and wearing dresses.

*this is me speaking today, this isn't my viewpoint; I'm just pass the point of caring about beauty*

I don't even have anyone to understand. Good or bad, I've almost completely isolated myself from the world. OK, mostly bad. I was hoping to find new friends but so far that has not happened, and my social anxiety has gotten much worse since I've accepted that I am trans.

Family is not accepting, but I live far away from them. My old friends are mostly not accepting, and live where my family does so I see neither, except maybe if I visit during the holidays.

I don't know if old friends would except or not because I haven't seen them for a long time. I have serious doubts though because of the way they think.

Friends and family all accept it and support me, but do they really understand it, I don't think so. I can think of one out of a dozen or so that I think gets it. They will say things during conversation that tell me they don't really understand.

Nothing mean or disrespectful, just simple comments like "when you used to be a man". Well, no, I didn't used to be a man, I played the part and I had male parts but I was never a man.

I've talked about this with friends and it seems to be a difficult concept for most. I don't know if a cis person can ever really understand this.

I have heard the expression "Unless you are this(transgender) then you really can't understand this".
How do you explain to people your inner sense of self.
Further how can anyone understand your transition and what it means to you personally.
Understanding is not required, only tolerance and ultimately acceptance.

I never understood why society makes being transgender a 'bad' thing.... why?

My relative the other day on the phone was talking about a cousin of ours' adult kids.... she said "Tom has a blah blah-loser son and a gay son". Like the gay son was on the same level as the loser son (he's really a loser though, but the gay son, that's by nature)

She's talking to the wrong person about this, but I keep my thoughts to myself. We're all humans, just accept one another as long as one doesn't harm another, it's all okay. Why should people views' matter about your own individual path of life? They don't matter. Only the individual opinion about oneself matters.

I find that most accept me and truly are happy that my transgender nature has brought me happiness but understand it....not hardly. Only my friends in the lgbtq community have any clue of what it is really about and I don't "understand" it myself. How in the world could a CIS person understand a disconnect between gender identity and body parts in anything apart from an intellectual manner? But the important part is that they love and accept me without needing to understand me! - Anne

Quote from: Anne Blake on June 29, 2017, 09:40:10 PM
I find that most accept me and truly are happy that my transgender nature has brought me happiness but understand it....not hardly. Only my friends in the lgbtq community have any clue of what it is really about and I don't "understand" it myself. How in the world could a CIS person understand a disconnect between gender identity and body parts in anything apart from an intellectual manner? But the important part is that they love and accept me without needing to understand me! - Anne

Hmm... that's a question to ponder on.

Quote from: Anne Blake on June 29, 2017, 09:40:10 PM
I find that most accept me and truly are happy that my transgender nature has brought me happiness but understand it....not hardly. Only my friends in the lgbtq community have any clue of what it is really about and I don't "understand" it myself. How in the world could a CIS person understand a disconnect between gender identity and body parts in anything apart from an intellectual manner? But the important part is that they love and accept me without needing to understand me! - Anne

I do not expect others to understand my nature and experience.  It is utterly outside the context of any experience that a cisgender person may have had. 

Anne Blake has it right, though.  Acceptance and love do not require a shared experience or understanding, only the compassion that one person can have for another's pain, and recognition that even without understanding, the pain is real.  Human empathy is all I ask for, and for the most part receive. 

I'd note that this is far more than tolerance, however.  Tolerance is more of a statement like "I don't think you are real, but I will permit you to exist."  This is the odd area where those pesky pronouns come into play.  If someone introduces you with a sentence like, "His preferred pronouns are she, her, and hers.", they are communicating tolerance and not acceptance.  Similarly, a person who addresses you with correct pronouns, but in conversation with others uses inappropriate pronouns, is being tolerant (barely) and not accepting.  Yes, these are real things, experiences I have weekly or more often.

I don't ask for understanding.  I ask for acceptance.