Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: 2.B.Dana on July 15, 2017, 01:19:19 PM Return to Full Version
Title: My first toe in the water
Post by: 2.B.Dana on July 15, 2017, 01:19:19 PM
Post by: 2.B.Dana on July 15, 2017, 01:19:19 PM
While I came out to my wife in February and she told her brother, that is basically the extent of it till today. I am telling the kids etc soon but I sent my two older sisters an email this morning describing my diagnosis and an invite to dinner.
They were my surrogate moms for many years and we are close. I had angst over the whole thing but the response has been very supportive and we are meeting for dinner on Monday to discuss any questions they have etc. Quite a relief, and they offered encouragement and support to my wife as well.
Secondly we attended a social event last evening for my daughter's youth group at a church in a town a short distance from us. It was my first event where I gave myself permission to not do the obligatory "guy" things. It felt so good to be involved in meaningful conversation with other women all evening. Only a few brief conversations with men as they floated through to check in with their wives. I left feeling so good about the experience and was still glowing this morning.
I hope the dinner with my sisters has a similar ending.
They were my surrogate moms for many years and we are close. I had angst over the whole thing but the response has been very supportive and we are meeting for dinner on Monday to discuss any questions they have etc. Quite a relief, and they offered encouragement and support to my wife as well.
Secondly we attended a social event last evening for my daughter's youth group at a church in a town a short distance from us. It was my first event where I gave myself permission to not do the obligatory "guy" things. It felt so good to be involved in meaningful conversation with other women all evening. Only a few brief conversations with men as they floated through to check in with their wives. I left feeling so good about the experience and was still glowing this morning.
I hope the dinner with my sisters has a similar ending.
Title: Re: My first toe in the water
Post by: Cindy on July 15, 2017, 01:27:25 PM
Post by: Cindy on July 15, 2017, 01:27:25 PM
Brave girl!
Mmmm Hug
Mmmm Hug
Title: Re: My first toe in the water
Post by: RobynTx on July 15, 2017, 05:44:20 PM
Post by: RobynTx on July 15, 2017, 05:44:20 PM
Congrats, hope it does work out for you.
Title: Re: My first toe in the water
Post by: Denise on July 15, 2017, 09:17:27 PM
Post by: Denise on July 15, 2017, 09:17:27 PM
That is cool that you shed the male stereo-type social expectations. That's a huge step.
Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk
Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: My first toe in the water
Post by: 2.B.Dana on July 18, 2017, 08:25:47 AM
Post by: 2.B.Dana on July 18, 2017, 08:25:47 AM
I wanted to give an update on the dinner with my sisters. I am 50, they are in there early 60's. We spent five hours on dinner and talking and covered a lot of ground. All very positive, some challenging times but still wrapped in love. I guess the quote I remember from the evening was this;
Sister 1: "I wonder what it's going to be like to have another sister?"
Sister 2: "you already do"
While we still have lots to catch up on it was wonderful. I have been fairly distant the past year or two as the dysphoria had kind of taken over my life so this was very nice.
I had asked them in the email if there were any childhood things that I may not remember that they could share that might help me as I worked through all of this and they had two things.
When I was about 8, the dad of my best friend at the time called my parents to tell them I couldn't play with there son anymore because he believed I was gay. They said I cried like crazy at the time. I didn't remember it and always wondered why he wasn't my friend all of a sudden.
My older sister is a retired nurse. She said "everyone" was worried when I was born because I had a very tiny penis and when the doctor circumcised me my mom thought he cut it off. She said they didn't know any better back then but today a baby born that way would have testosterone cream applied to their genitals for a month to encourage phallus growth and aid in affirming maleness in the baby as testosterone was lacking in the womb. I thought she was pulling my leg but I looked it up and found many articles and medical papers regarding the very subject. I thought it especially interesting because I had recently read a section in a book on trans that said gender could be influenced for a short time period after birth. Guess it all makes more sense now.
Hope all you ladies have a great day!
Sister 1: "I wonder what it's going to be like to have another sister?"
Sister 2: "you already do"
While we still have lots to catch up on it was wonderful. I have been fairly distant the past year or two as the dysphoria had kind of taken over my life so this was very nice.
I had asked them in the email if there were any childhood things that I may not remember that they could share that might help me as I worked through all of this and they had two things.
When I was about 8, the dad of my best friend at the time called my parents to tell them I couldn't play with there son anymore because he believed I was gay. They said I cried like crazy at the time. I didn't remember it and always wondered why he wasn't my friend all of a sudden.
My older sister is a retired nurse. She said "everyone" was worried when I was born because I had a very tiny penis and when the doctor circumcised me my mom thought he cut it off. She said they didn't know any better back then but today a baby born that way would have testosterone cream applied to their genitals for a month to encourage phallus growth and aid in affirming maleness in the baby as testosterone was lacking in the womb. I thought she was pulling my leg but I looked it up and found many articles and medical papers regarding the very subject. I thought it especially interesting because I had recently read a section in a book on trans that said gender could be influenced for a short time period after birth. Guess it all makes more sense now.
Hope all you ladies have a great day!
Title: Re: My first toe in the water
Post by: Laurie on July 18, 2017, 02:36:22 PM
Post by: Laurie on July 18, 2017, 02:36:22 PM
Hi Dana,
What a very good beginning to your new life. Having the support of others in your life is everything. With it you can put worries aside and get down to the important things that help you learn who you are and live as you should.
I wish you many more happy experiences as you progress and do be sure to share whatever you are experiencing with the rest of us. Good or bad it all helps us and if it is something difficult for you perhaps one of us can help.
Hugs,
Laurie
What a very good beginning to your new life. Having the support of others in your life is everything. With it you can put worries aside and get down to the important things that help you learn who you are and live as you should.
I wish you many more happy experiences as you progress and do be sure to share whatever you are experiencing with the rest of us. Good or bad it all helps us and if it is something difficult for you perhaps one of us can help.
Hugs,
Laurie