Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hiya girls!

I've always been far too scared to go to the doctors to speak to my GP about getting referred to a GIC. Today I have discovered an excuse!

As some of you know, I've just come back from a year abroad in Germany. At one point out there I was running my hand through my hair and I felt a tiny lump on my head. I have no idea how long its been there for or what it is but it didn't hurt so I left it. Today (now back in England) I mentioned it to my parents and they said I should go to the doctors tomorrow morning. Now I have the perfect alibi!!  ;) (Well, I would still be in the same place but you get my point :P )

Now that I'm going to speak to my GP tomorrow (or at least try and make an appointment for the coming days - you know what the NHS is like at the moment) I realise I have no idea what to say to him. I know some people give their doctors a letter explaining everything but I wouldn't know what to write on that either. I don't know how formal to be or how much depth to go into. Furthermore, I would like to write a letter but also I would like to do a fair bit of talking, I feel that verbally saying it will help me mentally accept that it's happening :)

So does anybody have a good idea of what I should say?? Any tips from personal experience??

Quote from: Hannah Samira on July 24, 2017, 01:58:14 PM
Hiya girls!

I've always been far too scared to go to the doctors to speak to my GP about getting referred to a GIC. Today I have discovered an excuse!

As some of you know, I've just come back from a year abroad in Germany. At one point out there I was running my hand through my hair and I felt a tiny lump on my head. I have no idea how long its been there for or what it is but it didn't hurt so I left it. Today (now back in England) I mentioned it to my parents and they said I should go to the doctors tomorrow morning. Now I have the perfect alibi!!  ;) (Well, I would still be in the same place but you get my point [emoji14] )

Now that I'm going to speak to my GP tomorrow (or at least try and make an appointment for the coming days - you know what the NHS is like at the moment) I realise I have no idea what to say to him. I know some people give their doctors a letter explaining everything but I wouldn't know what to write on that either. I don't know how formal to be or how much depth to go into. Furthermore, I would like to write a letter but also I would like to do a fair bit of talking, I feel that verbally saying it will help me mentally accept that it's happening :)

So does anybody have a good idea of what I should say?? Any tips from personal experience??

Hi Hannah!

Well, I don't think there's a formal or correct way to introduce the theme. I would say it naturally, in my own words. To my gender therapist, I simply gave her a succinct chronological account of my issues with gender, since I was a 4-year old right until right now, at 45.

Something along "Doctor, I've been having some issues coming to terms with my gender identity. It has been an issue for a very long time, but it's causing me more and more inner discomfort... Would you care to hear a little bit more about this? I could really use some help in dealing with this." would be an introduction as good as any other. Just say what's going on in your mind, be honest and you should be fine.

Pssst... you don't need excuses or alibis to go to your GP! [emoji6]

Hugs, Sarah

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I don't know maybe you can get a longer appointment booked even if it might take a little longer to wait for because I got my referral at a 45 minute appointment with a Psychiatric Nurse I had to wait a few weeks for. NHS GPs only have five minutes to see patients usually and if (s)he's already seeing you for the lump on your head, (s)he may ask you to book again for a longer appointment to discuss your situation. Although it's worth bringing it up anyway as you never know, they may make the referral then and there. 

I would just be direct and say 'I am trans and want to be referred to this GIC'. Unfortunately many still think you need to go to see a general psychiatrist first or just don't understand what being trans is so many ask you some inappropriate questions; just a heads up.

Quote from: Elis on July 24, 2017, 03:06:14 PM
I would just be direct and say 'I am trans and want to be referred to this GIC'. Unfortunately many still think you need to go to see a general psychiatrist first or just don't understand what being trans is so many ask you some inappropriate questions; just a heads up.

You see this is what I was thinking but I was always under the assumption the gender psychiatrist and analysis came at the clinic itself?? So I was thinking it was going to be something along the lines of "I think I'm trans, get me on the waiting list for this clinic"??

  I would go with  the "I AM trans  line. You know better than anyone else and doctors or counselors are just going to confirm that for you. Then they will see if you understand what it means and will then help you with your goals.
  Be confident and honest with them. Let then know that you know what you want.

Good Luck Hannah.
  Hugs
    Laurie

I agree with the " I am Trans". Then the next thing to say is I need to be referred to the GIC.

Good luck.

I agree, be direct and to the point and tell it like it is.  "Doctor, I think / I am pretty sure / I know that I am transgender.  I'd like a referral to the GIC."  If he is willing to talk about it and you feel up to it, go for it.  The better informed he is, the better he will be able to support you.  If either he or you don't feel like talking about it, just getting the referral is mission accomplished.

Congratulations on taking this step, and good luck!

Quote from: Hannah Samira on July 24, 2017, 03:59:27 PM
You see this is what I was thinking but I was always under the assumption the gender psychiatrist and analysis came at the clinic itself?? So I was thinking it was going to be something along the lines of "I think I'm trans, get me on the waiting list for this clinic"??

Yeah the gender psychiatry and analysis happens at the GIC.  I wouldn't use the words 'I think' as that'll give the GP leeway to tell what they think is wrong and wrongfully refer you to a general psychiatrist instead of rightfully referring yiu to a GIC

Little update, just rang the doctors and they said they have no more appointments for today.
I have to try again tomorrow at 8am :(

Further update!! I have an appointment of sorts for today. Let me explain:

I am a uni student and I study in a different city to the one my family live in (the one I'm in now). This means that I am only temporarily registered with this GP. So I have an appointment today at 4pm but it's only with the nurse who can pass on any information to the doctor.

Hopefully this is enough, otherwise it's just a colossal waste of time :(

Oh. and to make matters worse, I've learnt that a family friend has started working there, meaning she might be able to see all my records :'(

Best of luck for today hunni and I think I also went down the 'I AM Trans' route with the GP as I heard some doctors would ask you to come back when you were more sure. How true that is I don't know but I stood firm and the GP sorted my referral on that day. In Wales it works differently to England so I don't know what will happen next, I guess it'll be straight to the long wait for an appointment but certainly have a look at places you can get hold of HRT as it certainly helps smooth the wait and gives you a small amount of progress but from experience only the stuff the GIC prescribes is really really good and makes a whole world of difference so that's something to look forward to. I also believe in England you get SLT referral straight from the GIC and you get up to 8 sessions of laser which you don't get if your from Wales!

Hope it goes well for you :D

For your own sake, tell the truth. If you think you're transgender, say it. If you know you're transgender, say it. These people guide a lot of people through the process, including those who are questioning themselves. Make sure you're starting from the right position. Congratulations on the big step either way!  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

So... I did it!

I went in and omg I was so nervous. I was literally shaking and I must have told her so fast. But thankfully she was very nice and very understanding. She said that she didn't know much about it but she would look into it and she also said she would ring me back tonight with more information of what she can do for me :) Although this is all stuff I knew and I know the process a little bit thanks to you guys, I was too nervous to say anything but she's going to help which is the most important part!! :)

I also mentioned that a family friend works there and she said she would keep the information away from her which was good :)

I'm so happy!! I know the waiting list for the clinic I want is about 2 years right now but nevertheless I am absolutely over the moon that I've made such a step :)

Congrats Hannah! I knew you'd rock it! And it's so relieving, isn't it? Very happy for you, really! [emoji312][emoji134]

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Congrats :). Make sure she doesn't stall in putting through your referral though  ::)

Well there's been another development...

She rang me back a moment ago and said that she's spoken to the doctor and there's no guarantee the family friend who works there will be able to be kept in the dark. In fact she's the one who scans the paperwork and administers injections!! The nurse and doctor both said that in the interest of my own safety it would be better to go to another surgery:(

I know what you're all gonna say "oh why don't you come out to the family friend then she can help"... not a chance I'm afraid. They're Muslim and are heavily involved in the Muslim community in our town. It would get out and it would mean living in my town would be an actual threat to my safety.

So I'm going back to uni in September and I guess I'll try again there!!

Quote from: Hannah Samira on July 26, 2017, 12:54:30 PM
Well there's been another development...

She rang me back a moment ago and said that she's spoken to the doctor and there's no guarantee the family friend who works there will be able to be kept in the dark. In fact she's the one who scans the paperwork and administers injections!! The nurse and doctor both said that in the interest of my own safety it would be better to go to another surgery:(

I know what you're all gonna say "oh why don't you come out to the family friend then she can help"... not a chance I'm afraid. They're Muslim and are heavily involved in the Muslim community in our town. It would get out and it would mean living in my town would be an actual threat to my safety.

So I'm going back to uni in September and I guess I'll try again there!!

Hi Hannah,

Hope you enjoyed your Erasmus year. Congrats on speaking to your GP.

I'm actually rather surprised that they didn't assure you of confidentiality. If this person is a gossip then frankly she shouldn't be working there. If anything she comes across in a medical capacity is revealed then she would be fired, and that's the bottom line. Unfortunately, the way to that bottom line is that by then, your details have been shared.

However, maybe it's realistic that they warned you. People do sometimes share info that they possibly shouldn't. I've done it myself - the wine is flowing and 'guess what, strictest confidence...'. The thing is, i know that it's my risk, not theirs, and it would be me who was sacked if what I'd shared got back to the individual concerned.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide. If it was me I'd be tempted to get back in touch with the GP to say 'why can't you guarantee either my confidentiality, or if that fails that the member of your staff who breaches it will be properly disciplined?'. Because that's a pretty severe admission that they've made there.

But as I say, maybe they are just being realistic, particularly considering the religious angle, and the fact that you aren't in a metropolitan area. It's up to you and whatever you are comfortable with.

Whatever you decide, all the very best X

My first real job was setting up a medical billing system in a doctors office. Because errors would happen from time to time, I had full access to the paper files. I had no interest in the contents of any of the files and only looked for the information I needed to correct the problem. If an employee in a medical office has an interest that extends beyond that, they don't belong in a medical office. The contents of the files is between the doctor and the patient and shouldn't be discussed beyond that.

Congratulations on a good first step. Take time to feel good about being frightened and going through with what you needed to do, that is courage.

Thank you girls for your support :)

I just wanted to be clear about the girl working there. It's not that she's a gossip, or that she's nosey or that she's not good at her job. That's not what I'm trying to say. Part of her job (much like yours was Dena) is scanning through all the documents, meaning that there is a chance she will see something. As my real name is both unusual and a name she is familiar with, it is likely she is going to see it when she deals with the paperwork. That then leaves her with a rather big secret and would make things very difficult for both her and I.

Furthermore, the doctor who rang me back was simply saying there is a chance that as the family friend works within the surgery, they can't control possibilities as much as they would like. That's why they recommended I try another surgery. They are more than willing to help me should I decide to go with it anyway.

I just wanted to clear that up a bit with everyone because they were actually very nice and very helpful :)

Congrats on your first steps Hannah but be prepared for lots of red tape, my doctor tried to talk me out of it but hopefully your gp will be better, just keep on there case all the time that way you will get results.
Sara

That's not ideal but in reality probably a good thing to wait until you're back at uni. I can't remember off the top of my head but you're about the same age as me aren't you (I'm 23 on Saturday)? For your peace of mine I'd wait the 6 or so weeks to go to another GP as it's a small drop in the ocean in the grand scheme of life. I think I had to wait 20 months when I was first referred to the service and then when I decided I had conformed enough to what they wanted it was about 18 months. Luckily things have changed lately and it's easier to fit in with their requirements and the GIC won't make you start the RLE all over again when you walk through the door and they take deed poll, change of gender role at home/work/uni etc into consideration on the first appointment if that's what you want to happen. It's much easier to set your own pace with them now than it was even just a few years ago.

Best of luck!! Xx

Quote from: SashaGrace on July 27, 2017, 04:11:53 PM
That's not ideal but in reality probably a good thing to wait until you're back at uni. I can't remember off the top of my head but you're about the same age as me aren't you (I'm 23 on Saturday)? For your peace of mine I'd wait the 6 or so weeks to go to another GP as it's a small drop in the ocean in the grand scheme of life. I think I had to wait 20 months when I was first referred to the service and then when I decided I had conformed enough to what they wanted it was about 18 months. Luckily things have changed lately and it's easier to fit in with their requirements and the GIC won't make you start the RLE all over again when you walk through the door and they take deed poll, change of gender role at home/work/uni etc into consideration on the first appointment if that's what you want to happen. It's much easier to set your own pace with them now than it was even just a few years ago.

Best of luck!! Xx

Oh happy birthday for Saturday!! ;) Yeah I'm 21 so not far off and I agree, waiting until I'm at uni is probably best. My only worry is that my GP in Nottingham (uni) will only be for this next year, meaning when I'm top of the waiting list, they won't be my gp anymore :/ I don't know how that might affect things :(

Thanks, only a few hours to go :D

I'd look at it like this, get the GP in Notts to refer you and then it gives you 8-9 months until the end of the uni year to work out how/if you are going to come out to the family if that's something that could be on the cards within that timeframe anyway.

When your case is picked up by the GIC you'll be CC'd into any correspondence and then if you changed GP you would simply phone the GIC to let them know (they should know this anyway, but it helps of you let them know) and then when you get the letter for your appointment you just go. In England things are different, but in Wales there are no GIC's so iirc everyone goes to Charring Cross as they have a contract to take all the Welsh patients referred to them. Sometimes you may be able to choose yourself, from experience I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with going to Charring Cross should that be where you end up. Just be aware if you do end up going there they take forever and a day to answer the phones!!!