Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Post operative life => Topic started by: LiliFee on July 26, 2017, 03:23:05 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Even though I know it shouldn't be like that...
Post by: LiliFee on July 26, 2017, 03:23:05 AM
Post by: LiliFee on July 26, 2017, 03:23:05 AM
I'm post-op and happy! So let's have a chit-chat about being post-op and the change in self-perception...
Here's the thing: I see a girl in the mirror now! Even though I wear something over my underwear, thus fully taking my lady-parts out of view: something has changed. Fundamentally...
I've had my passing privilege for a while now, I never get clocked so my mirror image did already 'fit the bill' for a bit. Even though, before my surgery, there were still those dark eyes staring back at me, as if I felt like a fake. This has completely changed now! It's no longer a half-half, an inbetween looking back at me, but a woman! (or girl, but at 31 I've legally passed that mark, haha :) )
Did any of you experience such a shift in perception as well? With all of the publicity of trans* and non-binary folks out there, it almost feels wrong to experience such feelings. We were assigned male at birth (or female if the other way around), it's almost politically incorrect to state that my own perception about being a woman is still intrinsically linked with having a vagina. But still, this is what it feels like for me...
How do you all see / feel this??
Here's the thing: I see a girl in the mirror now! Even though I wear something over my underwear, thus fully taking my lady-parts out of view: something has changed. Fundamentally...
I've had my passing privilege for a while now, I never get clocked so my mirror image did already 'fit the bill' for a bit. Even though, before my surgery, there were still those dark eyes staring back at me, as if I felt like a fake. This has completely changed now! It's no longer a half-half, an inbetween looking back at me, but a woman! (or girl, but at 31 I've legally passed that mark, haha :) )
Did any of you experience such a shift in perception as well? With all of the publicity of trans* and non-binary folks out there, it almost feels wrong to experience such feelings. We were assigned male at birth (or female if the other way around), it's almost politically incorrect to state that my own perception about being a woman is still intrinsically linked with having a vagina. But still, this is what it feels like for me...
How do you all see / feel this??
Title: Re: Even though I know it shouldn't be like that...
Post by: warlockmaker on July 26, 2017, 05:51:19 AM
Post by: warlockmaker on July 26, 2017, 05:51:19 AM
I never had RLE, as for me I did not want to live a lie. After srs, ffs and ba I had my first chance to be a female. There was so much more to learn before I felt fully comfortable. Now 18 months later I find passing easily but now in Bangkok I identify as the 3rd gender and proud. Im at peace and happy.
Title: Re: Even though I know it shouldn't be like that...
Post by: Gail20 on July 27, 2017, 12:00:11 PM
Post by: Gail20 on July 27, 2017, 12:00:11 PM
I've been out for 10+ years but will finally undergo GCS in 2 weeks. I thought my sense of self had pretty much stabilized years ago in a place that was something just short of feeling totally female and I was OK with that. I did not expect more. I was wrong. I'm already noticing a change in my perception of myself. I'm now seeing myself as totally female. I did not think that I would ever quite get to that place but I see it. Hopefully the emotional and physical impact of GCS wont hurt this new preception .
Title: Re: Even though I know it shouldn't be like that...
Post by: EmmaLoo on July 27, 2017, 03:15:26 PM
Post by: EmmaLoo on July 27, 2017, 03:15:26 PM
I had, and described, a very similar experience post-GRS and it totally caught me off guard. It was quite overwhelming in a lot of respects. Much of that came from a sense of finality after a very long journey. Beyond that, I would agree with you completely. There is a realignment post-surgery that goes far deeper than the physical changes and it's very liberating.