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So, what kind of effect might I find on my brain and my mental state if I state taking hormones (MtF)?

I know this sounds seriously silly to ask, but while I am aware of the physical effects on most of the body I know nothing about the effects on the mind and brain, if any.

I can only speak for myself but it greatly reduced the dysphoria, eliminated a long standing depression, eliminated feelings of wanting to be dead, and enabled my mind to think much more clearly and to focus without distraction.

Other effects flowing from all that were elimination of a really bad temper, great reduction in cynicism, quit smoking, quit drinking, and lost 45 lbs.

Overall it made me enjoy life and look forward to tomorrow rather than go to bed each night hoping I would die in my sleep.

So, the effects on my mind were pretty significant.


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Would you say these are direct consequences or indirect ones leading from awareness of what the hormones are doing for you?

And also I so pleased for you that it has helped with all those things <3

It's not like WHAM! and you're thinking about flowers, jewelry or clothes shopping. For me there was a calmness that I've never felt before. It didn't start suddenly so I couldn't tell you when it started.

Is reduced testosterone related to lower aggression? Objectively, rather than subjectively I mean.

Quote from: LilyMelody on August 08, 2017, 06:09:51 PM
Would you say these are direct consequences or indirect ones leading from awareness of what the hormones are doing for you?

And also I so pleased for you that it has helped with all those things <3

The big one was removing the constant background voice of the dysphoria that was really the root cause of all the other bad stuff.  I think the change of hormones were the prime cause there.

I had taken HRT before on my own.  With HRT the dysphoria fades.  Without HRT the dysphoria comes raging back.


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15 days into my Estradiol prescription the effects on my brain and mental state have been nothing short of phenomenal. 

LilyMelody, this is not a silly question at all - you asked a very valid question.

I was completely wrong on this topic in the past (before I discovered Susan's) and incorrectly assumed HRT was all about physical appearance.  If I also get physical changes that's a nice bonus, but I won't need that to be convinced estrogen is what my particular brain was lacking since puberty. 

First time posting, so I will make this brief but it is such an interesting topic. I only know about the effect of estrogen on my "cis male" self a couple years ago.

As has already been suggested, I think you can divide up the effect of estrogen into 1) the effect of adding estrogen and 2) the effect of subtracting testosterone. Because both happen simultaneously I think it can be a bit difficult to sum up just what happens.

For me, the loss of testosterone had a clear drawback and a clear benefit. The drawback was that it became harder to hyperfocus on work problems. The benefit was that all that toxic aggro that accompanies the male identity started to melt away. I can't quite put into words what the process of lightening up/losing the fear and anger of my male self has been like...
So darn wonderful that I am tearing up just thinking about it? Yes, something like that.

Now what estrogen seems to do, for me, is rather than just removing negative emotions, it seems to awaken an interest in other people that I didn't have before. Basically, for me I have found that I have been able to begin a journey towards becoming an actively more empathetic person. Not just a functional "enlightened self-interest" sort of empathy - I scratch your back because then you'll scratch mine, etc. I actually find that I carry around more interest in how other people are feeling.

On both the reduction of aggressive, fearful experience and the enhancement of empathetic, sensitive experience I am absolutely sure that the little blue pill just provides the first step, "clearing the stage" for....a different, hopefully better, way of being.

Quote from: LilyMelody on August 08, 2017, 05:50:22 PM
So, what kind of effect might I find on my brain and my mental state if I state taking hormones (MtF)?

As the others have said, I can only speak from my experience. As a late, retired transitioner, I never expected to be eligible for HRT because of existing health concerns. I had made peace with that and decided to try a RLE anyway. I didn't have depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts. Over the years, I'd learned patience, tolerance and a level of empathy. Looking back, those lessons were hard.

When I was approved for HRT, I had an expectation of some change in my "mental state." It hasn't happened yet, but I'm only nine months in. Yeah, it's been a let down.

I've come to think that what changes you experience depends a lot on your "mental state" at the beginning. That's totally anecdotal. Many report being blissed out; it just wasn't the case for me.

All the best,
--AshleyP

Studies do show, in some instances, that estradiol may have an antidepressant effect in some women. The findings are controversial though, less so in women who've had their ovaries removed.

On a personal note, I found that I am more sociable than before. A definite yes to that! But, I find I'm also less able to concentrate for long periods of time, have less stamina/endurance, not as much energy, am less able to cope with stress, am more emotional and less driven/ambitious. Calm, yes but kinda dead too. This is why I recently added some testosterone (I'm post-op). Too early to say for certain it has made a difference mentally. I'm using a very small amount.

As stated, I can only speak from personal experience. I have been on HRT for about six months. The first thing I noticed was a new sense of peace. It was almost like I suddenly realized that my base mood was negative instead of neutral. My long standing depression has also lifted. Since starting hormones I haven't had a depressive episode. This is the longest I've gone without one in about ten years. I've also started to experience sadness a lot more frequently. Before it was more of an emptiness. Now I actually feel sad. Sometimes I feel like crying for no reason. I haven't really noticed much difference in how I think. Sometimes I have trouble focusing, but I do not know if that is related to hormones. Lastly, my dysphoria has actually gotten worse since starting hormones. I think it's a combination of the emotional changes and waiting.

Everything people share should be taken with a grain of salt. Everyone reacts differently. There really isn't any way to determine how an individual will be affected. But it is helpful to have a general idea of the possibilities.

The mental and emotional state we all suffer from is called gender dysphoria for a very good reason. Some of us are just not comfortable in our genetic gender.

If you are suffering from the same problem, then I am quite sure HRT will provide some relief. If your condition is as severe as mine was, then gender reassignment is the only known way to relieve the dysphoria.

HRT and gender reassignment is not for everyone. There have been a few well publicized situations of regret. I always recommend counseling before HRT. Know who you are before attempting to change yourself.

Sensible advice.

Quote from: Dani on August 09, 2017, 02:50:24 PM
HRT and gender reassignment is not for everyone. There have been a few well publicized situations of regret. I always recommend counseling before HRT. Know who you are before attempting to change yourself.

I have found counseling to be one of the most important parts of my journey. It gave me the space and support to figure out what was right for me. There is so much more to transition than the physical part. I have worked through and continue to work through a lot of things that hold me back, both related and unrelated to gender. I would suggest anyone questioning or starting to transition try to find an experienced, trans competent therapist. I know it is not something everyone has access to, but if you have the means it can be incredibly helpful.

-Dani Rae

HRT and SRS has mostly relieved my dysphoria but it's still there somewhat...

Quote from: gladys on August 08, 2017, 09:18:22 PM
First time posting, so I will make this brief but it is such an interesting topic. I only know about the effect of estrogen on my "cis male" self a couple years ago.

Hi Gladys,

I'm Laurie unofficial greeter he and I not only want to say Welcome to Susan's Place but to also invite you over to the introductions forum and creat a post telling us a little bit about yourseld so we can get to know you better  and welcome you properly.

Hugs,
   Laurie

 

Hello Laurie,


Thanks! I will do that :)

Hugs,

I'm just into my 4th week of HRT and so far the mental changes have been subtle, but they're starting to happen. Last night I removed some nail polish from my toes that I put on a month ago, it's the longest I've had my nails painted and I got a little emotional over it lol. I also went shampoo shopping with a friend the other night and I found myself naturally acting very girly around her, which I was really happy about. Over the last couple days I've found that I'm a lot happier when I look in a mirror now so I smile more and I'm even randomly dancing a little more hehe

Quote from: Maddie86 on August 10, 2017, 05:30:44 AM
I'm just into my 4th week of HRT and so far the mental changes have been subtle, but they're starting to happen. Last night I removed some nail polish from my toes that I put on a month ago, it's the longest I've had my nails painted and I got a little emotional over it lol. I also went shampoo shopping with a friend the other night and I found myself naturally acting very girly around her, which I was really happy about. Over the last couple days I've found that I'm a lot happier when I look in a mirror now so I smile more and I'm even randomly dancing a little more hehe

My toes have been painted continuously for the past 12 years, polish only removed long enough for my pedicures, which I have every 3 weeks.

Almost a month in  ive  found  some sort  calmness  has come over me,  , I'm not as reactive  as before and seem to have a more intellectual  response  rather than the visceral type I'm  more interested  in listening  to others and I have some sort of connection  with females that was not there before I smile more easily and random woman make eye contact  and smile at me?
I work away for a few weeks  at a time and when I saw my doctor  he said the change in my deamor  was marked
as if a wall I had around me had disappeared
now I feel like I have something  to live for  and want to change  my bad habits 
I'm enjoying  this it's beautiful  I wonder if this means j was lacking  in this hormone
It's like a lot of background  noise has disappated
all in all I am much happier  then I have been in along time  this mental aspect  is an unexpected bonus
I would  not want to give this up😊