Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have gotten used to not having all the money I would like to have handy so I can easily do things toward my transition. It's ok I don't go hungry though I am sure there are some who do. I have a nice home and food-I'm ok.

When I struggle I get off to myself and put on some music like Nora Jones and do my toes & fingernails, pluck my ears and brows, epilate or quik-shave what hair I can see, or perhaps sand off the bottom of my feet. There is always something else to do. I think I'll try some new clothes combinations or put my hair up on the other side.

Being a girl is not easy but so worth the effort!

R W

Hi R W

  Most of the folk on here that know me already know what I do when I'm really upset. Because I know I trust myself on social media I turn my computer off. I also know I am not likely to be fit company for anyone in person either so I leave my apartment. Another thing I know is that driving soothe my soul so I get in my pick up and hit the road. I'm not a road rager so the public remains safe.  How far I drive is an indicator or how upset I was. The last time I was really upset I thoroughly expected to make it into California from where I live very near Portland, Oregon. I bought my medications for the next day. I was surprised when it only took about 2oo miles of a pretty drive down the Oregon coastline to calm down and turn around and head home. It works every time for me.
   In short, I isolate, drive and let the sounds of the road and beautiful scenery remove my anger. It is a much better solution than others I've tried in the past.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I rarely get upset over anything anymore.  The HRT contributed a lot to that but I also exercise at least 90 min everyday to burn off excess energy and I also meditate at least once a day.  Both of those things help to keep the mind balanced and steady.


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Hi Girls! I try to redirect the energy if I can into something of value-like improving myself in some area of interest to girls. If I get deep into some desired task quik enough, I can not only calm myself down but also get to improve on my walking-3 miles 1hr on the treadmill ( right now finishing stretches) hips & shoulders back chest out head up straight, back slightly curved hips tilted slightly forward, No toe or heel dragging as I alternate heel first toes first. Walking a straight line, core tight no sagging, steps curt and bouncy-this gait reminds me of models walking and made me feel good about my posture. I find there is alot going on at the same time walking like this and I started to sag a bit- once again I am a happy camper. Good workout and Andy Timmons playing on youtube are working for me today!

I have issue with Anxiety, so I'm definitely interested in calming coping mechanisms.  I enjoy playing the guitar and/or singing.  Joan Osborne is one of my favorites to sing, she is very soulful.  Another fav is Florence and the Machine.  There is a yearning and a pain to her music that resonates deep within me.  Expressing my own pain by riding on the music of others is very cathartic to me. 

I also like deep breathing and will even say a few Oms.  FWIW.

When I get upset I always put my dog in my lap and pet her. It always helps.
Julia

Quoteor perhaps sand off the bottom of my feet.

Do you use a belt or orbital sander?   :D

Hi, RW,
I get outside. It has a totally different vibe than being indoors. I love to watch birds, so I have bird feeders I keep filled with seeds, a hummingbird feeder I keep filled with 'nectar' and a birdbath I clean and put fresh water in every day. This attracts a lot of beautiful birds, and I lose myself watching them enjoy eating and fluttering and splashing in the water. The little hummingbirds zipping around are really cool to watch. I don't know if you have a space to do something like this, but this is my favorite thing that really calms my mind and gives me peace.
Peace,
Tommie

Deb Rose- I play guitars as well but it always seems to turn into a workout more so than just being peaceful. But I do enjoy it and studied martial arts for a few years so meditation-yes I get it!
Julia-we had a aging Border Collie/Husky mix who was just another person. She would talk to us and could make us figure things out for her.
AnneK-regular sanding block or skin rasp.
Tommie_9-Yes I do! I keep finch feeders, hummingbird feeders and they also love my zinnias. I really love the yellow finches-so cute! We have parents bringing babies here to eat. Yes I love birds too!

I was able to get in a really deep stretch session today and feel great!

Bye for now,
R W

I have been to therapy some 6 times before finally addressing the real problem. In the process I sat through at least 4 mindfulness therapy 6 week sessions. So in honor of actually learning something in these sessions I give to you....https://www.pocketmindfulness.com/6-mindfulness-exercises-you-can-try-today/ 

I bought an app for my phone called "Insight Timer" that has a ton of all kinds of guided meditations plus the ability to configure my own sessions with gongs and bells.  I use that to do pranayama meditation with 45 sec breaths.  I've tried 1 minute breaths but that gets stressful after a few minutes and defeats the whole purpose.


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Good topic... As for me, if I have nothing else to do, I drink wine. It might not calm me down, but it sure puts me to sleep. 'I'll think about that tomorrow' (c) Scarlett O'Hara.

PS I usually find something else to do though. Or something else finds me.


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Update: I can feel my dysphoria getting stronger every day and wish I could run my appt date up to tomorrow. I had my first 'panic moment' in walmart with my wife and had to sit down. Fortunately I was able to redirect and calm right down but there for about a minute and a half-I was a basket case! That seriously has my attention now and need to see my therapist. My wife asks me as to how I feel and I told her it feels like being on speed all the time and I have to have some relief. She gets it now.

She went to shop and brought me a surprise-my 1st real high intensity sports bra. I think she really does love me! The truth is what sets me free and that's what my wife will get from me. Yep, life is still like a roller coaster.

Randi

This is advice from the FTM perspective, although I don´t think it´s that different.
When I´m upset I go outside with my camera and go looking for nice pictures to take. Fall is about to be here, so there´ll be plenty of new sights to see.

Anything that puts your mind in a different frame and requires that you be "present". I agree with the others on mindfulness. Yoga can be pretty sweet too. There´s a few sites out there that offer yoga courses for free.

Hi there! It's been a few days since last post. I am thinking epilating helps me more than anything else I have found yet. It makes me focus on that and Only on that! I finally have the $$ for a new epilator and should have it by weeks end. My old one -Emjoi Soft Caress-has been a good thing for me to have and I would recommend it to anyone looking for a few days between sessions. I'm getting the red 72 tweezer Emjoi tho' the name escapes me at the moment.

Being on hrt has pretty much smoothed out my rough spots and I'm stable as can be right now and have been for the past few days. I think my goal of finally getting to the place where I am not afraid to face it for what it is has been reached. And I am certain I will have more 'bumps' in the road to freedom. Having a therapist who cares is worth so much to me and has made all the difference in the world regarding my attitude in general.

I have anxiety and can only deal with it with food. But food is what is ruing my life, so I am trapped.

Quote from: Deborah on August 18, 2017, 05:59:14 PM
I bought an app for my phone called "Insight Timer" that has a ton of all kinds of guided meditations plus the ability to configure my own sessions with gongs and bells.  I use that to do pranayama meditation with 45 sec breaths.  I've tried 1 minute breaths but that gets stressful after a few minutes and defeats the whole purpose.

I use Insight Timer too, but my sessions aren't as rigorous as yours!

I learned how to find my quiet place within thru a few years of martial arts training. If I can get there quick enough when I am having an episode I am able to avoid much that would otherwise be unpleasant. My struggle is a day to day thing and small things bother me now where they did not do so before. At least I have somebody helping me with it this time around.

Any hobby that lets me delve into something that has nothing to do with gender works for me.  I have several small hobbies that I rotate on depending on weather, the season, and whatnot.  Right now it's getting to be the perfect weather here in Texas for fossil hunting.  I spent a couple of hours last week and found several very nice shark teeth.  This is a great way for me to relax.  Other hobbies of mine are coin collecting and ghost hunting.  Yes, I like old things.

If you have any hobbies that you are interested in then give them a shot.  It helps take your mind off of your troubles at times.

Good luck.

I have been spending alot of time on my treadmill too.

R W. I play guitar too. I would rather spend ten hours pounding out riffs than ten minutes on a treadmill. I am kind of lazy though. I sweat and exert the same amount of energy per hour but one I enjoy and the other (tread mill ) I hate.

I really can't understand the total nightmares of dysphoria though. Yes I have experienced it but not on a level some do. I am almost 50 and tackled the trans thing when I was younger and was called a sissy, ->-bleeped-<-got or gay. So in all honesty I don't get he anxiety attacks and so on. Not that I don't understand and it may have been more of an "IDGAF" attitude. Yes I have been anxious when buying makeup, clothing, shoes and so on in the past but not really anymore. But I am not married to a woman anymore either. When I was it sucked shopping with her and not buying for myself.

Meditation is a really good way to calm you down. Conscious breathing is another. Other things too but take it slow. If she bought you a sports bra then maybe you might have it made. So just calm down and be yourself. Open up a little at a time to your wife and see how she reacts and take it from there.