Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm a boy aged 15 ever since I was a little child I loved makup girls clothes boobs and I wanted all of that stuff and when I hit puberty I'm getting mad sometimes I'm trans sometims gay and all of them I was just attracted to boys but I kinda have feelings for women now. now I just want to have boobs and vigaina. the thing is I don't understand my feelings it is changing I don't understand myself sometimes I'm thinking about killing myself I'm so broke so hope less please I beg you help me thanks

It sounds like you could be transgender and maybe bisexual. When I was 14 I went through the same thing though I didn't start liking guys until I started HRT. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself I have tried to take my life 3 times and I'm glad I failed each time because my life has gotten a lot better since accepting who I am and transitioning into the person I hid for so long.


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the thing is I don't know who I am because my feelings are changing really fast and sudden I love to change into a girl but I don't know if it means I'm transgender and for sexual oreantation I was gay and I knew it but it changed now I have kinda feeling for women

If you are seriously considering suicide please call a suicide hotline one is 1-800-273-8255 you can call 24/7


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Sexual orientation is complicated I'm 34 and still have questions. I find men attractive but at the same time desire the emotional connection only another woman can provide. As for how fast your feelings are changing it is most likely the hormonal changes going on in your body. In some cases these feelings are just a phase but only you can tell that with time. I would encourage you to google a gender therapist in your area. I wish I had the strength to reach out for help when I was your age.
You will find lots of support here at Susan's place
Hugs [emoji847]
ScarletRed


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Quote from: mil on August 30, 2017, 07:37:11 AM
I wont kill myself but tell me who iam . am I trans?

Dear Mil

Welcome to Susan's

Sounds like you are in a really confusing place and just want someone to tell you if you are trans or not...if only it were that simple...this is one of those things that may take a little time to work out. Is there someone you can talk to about this in RL? Maybe a school councillor or a good close friend, or parents ? For many of us by your age we did know we were different but like you were unsure. have you had the opportunity to experiment?

Please feel free to drop by our Introduction Forum  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) and tell us a little more about yourself. 


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thanks but please tell me how do I know I'm transgender?

I urge you to seek some help from anyone if you need to in real life as well.
Also youtube will help you answer some of your questions and give you comfort knowing that there are people
who are going through the same things.
I have been someone who has thought of killing myself a few times in life too please do not do anything.
You are worth something to someone out there and it is not worth it. We all deserve a chance to be happy and live our lives.
I read somewhere that if you are asking if you are transgender you might be but like they said you can answer that in time.
I feel for people who want to commit suicide because I know how it feels. You are important in this world you matter.

Some of the largest indicators for me that I was transgender were I hated my body my genitalia in particular disgusted me, but not every transgender woman hates there genitalia. I too loved woman's clothes and makeup and would wear them in private when ever I could. I avoided social situations because I feared someone would find out I was transgender. I could never relate to men and didn't understand them. My best friends where all girls. These are just some of my symptoms and as I am not a licensed mental health professional it would be irresponsible for me to say you are or you aren't transgender. There are lots of transgender woman on YouTube who describe there symptoms and emotions in great detail you should watch them and see how much of what they say is true in you situation and then draw your own conclusion but be careful not to rush into a conclusion.
I hope this helps hun
Hugs [emoji847]
ScarletRed


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Hi. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. No one can tell you if you are trans or not. That's something only you know for sure. A gender counselor can help you better understand your feelings. But since your parents would have to be involved with doing that it might not be that easy for you.  I suggest talking to a guidance counselor at school. You might also try calling a LGBT hotline. I'm sure they have someone you could talk to.

From what you wrote it seems like the fact you are starting to like girls is confusing you. Ok, who you are sexually attracted to has nothing to do with the gender you identify as. You don't have to be attracted to boys to be transgender. Lots of transwomen are attracted to females. It's nothing to feel weird about. The possibility that you might be trans also seems to scare you. You don't need to be afraid of being trans. It can be hard but I promise it's not the end of the world. And you can always come here to talk.

Try to talk to someone about what you're feeling. In my opinion it sounds like you are trans. But only you can know for sure.

Big hugs,

thank you guys so much I live in Iraq there is no one to talk to they are kinda evil I always dreamed by going to usa because there are friendly people there . I think I'm a transwomen I saw a girl in youtube named daniele berogli I was like omg I want be a girl like her I don't know if that means something

Being transgender is definitely nothing to be afraid of. Gender dysphoria certainly sucks and during puberty it is especially difficult to deal with but not even a doctor or psychiatrist can give you a diagnosis of being transgender with absolute certainty. Some people find that counseling is all they need to deal with gender dysphoria, others find that low levels of hormones help while not initiating any really noticeable changes. As the others have said, sexuality has nothing to do with gender so you just need to take time and discover yourself. If you're attracted to boys or girls or even flying spaghetti monsters, that doesn't control your gender. Some of gender dysphoria also comes from what is considered culturally normal. If you can work on ignoring those norms and just trying to find out who you are you will be a lot happier. Try growing your hair out(if you haven't already) and see how you feel about it. See if you like makeup and "girls clothes" still. That still doesn't define your gender though. Some people who fully define themselves as male wear makeup daily so try not to focus on what is considered culturally normal for gender-traits and see just how deep your feelings go.

thanks for all of you

First thing you have to do is try to relax. Getting stressed out about this is not going to help. You have time. You are only 15. Look up meditations, etc. if you have to. If you go to a doctor, do not mention trans if it is not acceptable. You can tell them you are depressed, etc. and still get treatment. So, slow down, things will become clearer.

Mil,

You say you're 15. In my case hormones started to go wild around that age. I hated it.

zirconia do you got better after puberty? are you the same person as before puberty? because I'm not the same peron like before pubert

Welcome to Susan's Place. I'm sorry I didn't see your post when you came in but I am about half a day earlier than you are. I had these feeling when I turned 13 years old and unfortunately they don't go away with time. Many people can life with them for a long time but they don't get better with time.

Sexual preference - who you are attracted to sexually and Gender identity - how you want your body to appear are two different things. The only thing that is important in determining if you are transgender is Gender identity so it's possible for you to want to be a woman but be attracted to women.

It is best for you to start planning the future by thinking about how you will be able to support yourself and move to a safe location if you feel you need it. It's a difficult problem for somebody your age but getting as much school as you can is a good place to start.

I have two links that you might find useful. The first is our WIKI  (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender) where the word transgender will be explained to you. The second is  "the transition channel"  (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw) where a Gender Therapist will help you explore your feelings.

Continue asking questions as the more you know, the better you will be able to get proper treatment.

Iraq is not an easy place to be transgender. Do NOT kill yourself. Make a goal of going to university in a Western European nation where transgender care is advanced and easily accessible. Forget the United States. The United States is a gamble. If you're very lucky you will be able to land a very good job after university with excellent insurance that will pay for transgender therapy and treatment. If you go to the right countries in Europe, it is likely you will be able to get the therapy and treatment you need while you are still in university at much lower cost than you would in the United States.

Your life is worth living. It's even worth living as the wrong gender for a few years until you can get the help you need. You can make it, you can persevere and get yourself to a place where good help is available.

Do your research. Find out which countries would be most welcoming to you and have good transgender care, then find universities in those nations and do everything you can to get into those schools.

Western Europe, Canada and some smaller countries in Asia are quite good for transgender individuals.  If you study and aim for college in a transgender-friendly country the world is literally yours.  In the future it is quite possible you might be able to return and help make Iraq a better place for the next generation. 

In the meantime please be careful with your safety and work towards getting the best possible college education.  I think doing so will unlock a great future for you.

Kendra

thanks for all of you I will plan for everything I plan to be al lawyer which is very easy for me

Mil,

Quote from: mil on August 30, 2017, 10:49:41 AMzirconia do you got better after puberty?

A bit, I think. Even so, the effects of the hormones remained very unpleasant. I played with girls when small, and thought of them as friends. I continued to think of them and treat those of them who accepted me as such both during and after puberty, but my body had begun to react it ways I didn't like. I believe I truly regained the calm I was used to only after I started taking female hormones.

Quote from: mil on August 30, 2017, 10:49:41 AMare you the same person as before puberty? because I'm not the same peron like before pubert

Yes, I was and am the same person. If I weren't, what happened would not have bothered me and I might even have welcomed the changes. Instead, I could never relate to boys who wanted to grow up to become men.

If you are lgbtq+ Don't waste your time in iraq now you are young  but when you grow up the society will expect from you to be STRAIGHT MAN

Save money and try to run I wish someone told me that when I was your age
I'm trans girl from middle eastern country too but mine are worst than your country Iraq
I cannot go out the home without fearing for my safety from people and the police as well
I couldn't complete college because of the daily harassment and transphobia
And I cannot report my abusers because
The police who suppose to protect me will aresst me instead because it's against the law to be lgbtq+

HIDE YOURSELF  be SAFE 

I know for fact now that I don't have life or future here I try to fight for my education and my freedom
But when the laws of your country put you in danger and treat you like criminal because you are lgbtq+
It's time to focus only on safety elsewhere

I'm sorry but if Iraq is similar to my country things will get harder from now on I cannot sugar coat it

Quote from: WhatAmI? on August 30, 2017, 05:12:33 PM
Iraq is not an easy place to be transgender. Do NOT kill yourself. Make a goal of going to university in a Western European nation where transgender care is advanced and easily accessible. Forget the United States. The United States is a gamble.

I disagree. The US is much preferable to any country in the middle east. Go anywhere, including the US, just to get out of that place.

I really plan to go to Europe or usa in future but how? I'm a trans women this is not easy for me lets say that Iraq legalized changing legal. if I change my self to a girl  in Iraq my parents will honor killing me and and lgbt cases in EUROPE and USA int esay to seek asylum

Be patient. You have time to plan this correctly and start gathering information. I think for now you have to act like the son your parents expect you to be. Play the game, and quietly plan. If you do this right, all your dreams will come true.

amandam you are so right

My suggestion is to study and prepare for the best possible college/university education. 

There are other ways to emigrate and potentially gain political asylum but qualifying for a foreign college is more reliable.  I am not an expert on political asylum (each country has different rules) but you don't want a situation where you apply for asylum and are rejected.  If you qualify for a good quality college you will be able to move to that country for at least four years and then look into ways to establish full citizenship.  Several countries place higher priority for people with a strong academic background.

Kendra what are these countries that you are talking about ?

Some of the same countries that offer partial or full legal protections for transgender individuals also have excellent colleges and universities.  That's why Western Europe on this thread.  I have also heard good things about Canada. 

I live in the US.  I would describe transgender protections here as ok but not great.  Some areas/states within the US are pretty good but you would be dealing with the federal/national government to obtain citizenship, and those policies might be better or worse in the future when you apply.  Several other countries are further ahead.

Another thing to consider is health care.  If you do qualify in the future to become a citizen of a different country, does that country consider health care to be a fundamental right of all citizens or not.  In the US you would be relying on private insurance.  The US has some of the highest costs in the world for medical procedures.  I am probably going to travel to Spain for my Facial Feminization Surgery.

I was growing up in a strong country during the decade of collapse of its economy. I was lucky that my education I got in my old country allowed me to get H1b (workers visa) to USA. It wasn't easy to find an employer and I had nobody in USA to support me or help me find a job or anything. The competition was brutal (only 60000 visas for the whole USA for a year and an employer would have to pay big money and wait for a year before you would join them - with no guarantee the quote won't be filled up). What can I say - don't give up, keep looking, there will be one way or another.


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