Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Rowena_Ellenweorc on September 06, 2017, 03:45:54 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Labor Day and Grandma's Confusion
Post by: Rowena_Ellenweorc on September 06, 2017, 03:45:54 AM
Post by: Rowena_Ellenweorc on September 06, 2017, 03:45:54 AM
AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII..... had like half a post written!!!! And since I have writer's syndrome as many of you have seen... I wrote a lot already!!!!!!!!!! *growls* Okay... ANYWAY..... Another story time for you guys. Enjoy... and let me know what you think ... Cause I'm curious by now. (It will become clear by the end what I mean 'I'm curious what you think')
Also despite my penchant for long posts, you're about to read proof of how shy and socially awkward I can be....
Soooo on Monday, I spent labor day evening at the in-laws for a barbecue. Wasn't big like usual family gatherings are by any means... In fact we weren't even originally expecting my husband's grandparents to come. But with just my two kids there, any family gathering becomes instantly stressful. Because, hey... What four and two year olds aren't little rascals, right? But anyway, story's about me, not them, so lets get back to it. Before we get to the meat of the story (pun not originally intended, but left in for my own amusement lol) I have to explain my manner of dress. It wasn't really all that different from what I normally wear (though I do shop now in the men's section but my style really hasn't changed much), especially since summer started. Jeans, cowboy boots, binder tank and a button down shirt hanging open. (Most of the time I wear an actual tank over the binder, but my tanks were no where to be found... of course.) I had also just before bought a new hat, you know that like military style type hat --simply for the fact I missed my hat collection (mostly of paperboy hats). I was for once wearing my glasses as well (kids like to lose those and my phone for me, rascals).
So anyway, grandparents arrive, and I pick up my daughter and carry her in to greet them. Grandma stops, looks at me, gets a confused expression on her face, and looks me up and down a couple more times. Then she looks up at me and says, 'You look different.' The look on my face must have been plain as day, because she looks me over again and starts vocally trying to figure out why I might look different.
My mother-in-law, standing right behind me, tries to help Grandma and goes, 'She did cut off a LOT of hair recently' and she makes me turn to show Grandma. (Oh no one on husband's side of the family knows except obviously husband. And I haven't switched pronouns yet)
Grandma looks and is like, 'No... that's not it. Seen her since then.'
So then my mother-in-law says, 'Is it the hat?'
'No...'
I'm standing there, so confused, like, what on earth is she on about? And why is Mom modeling me around?
So Grandma looks at me again, then says, 'You must have lost weight. That must be it.'
I just give her a look, and shrug. Truth is, I have lost a few pounds, but not enough to make a noticeable difference, plus I probably gained it back... Scale is out of battery so I haven't weighed myself in about a week or so.
Grandma hugs me, and then says, 'You look good.'
Me-- blank stare, kinda stiff at the hug. And a definite, 'What the hell is she doing' moment in my head. Not to mention, somewhere in the back of my head a voice saying, 'Huh... maybe you could in the near future come out to them,' with the main self saying, 'There is no way that's happening. Too scary. Husband can tell them.'
So later, I get in the car, and bad memory me couldn't remember if my husband had been in at the room at the time, so I ask him if he was and he basically wanted me to refresh his memory. (Which usually means he wasn't in the room but he doesn't want to admit it lol) Tell him the story, and he just flat out says, 'Must have been the binder. She is kind of old so she wouldn't realize what it was.'
I stared at him for a moment before saying, 'It has nothing to do with age. If you didn't know I was wearing a binder, you wouldn't assume, "Oh hey, that's a binder. Wonder if they're trans," now would you?'
He's like, 'Well... that's true. Good point. But still probably what she was referring to.'
So... it kind of feels to me like, 'Whoa, an acknowledgement moment' even if she didn't know what she was seeing. Probably reading a little deep into it though... What do you think?
(Just don't ask how the rest of my labor day went. Trust me, you don't want to know.)
Also despite my penchant for long posts, you're about to read proof of how shy and socially awkward I can be....
Soooo on Monday, I spent labor day evening at the in-laws for a barbecue. Wasn't big like usual family gatherings are by any means... In fact we weren't even originally expecting my husband's grandparents to come. But with just my two kids there, any family gathering becomes instantly stressful. Because, hey... What four and two year olds aren't little rascals, right? But anyway, story's about me, not them, so lets get back to it. Before we get to the meat of the story (pun not originally intended, but left in for my own amusement lol) I have to explain my manner of dress. It wasn't really all that different from what I normally wear (though I do shop now in the men's section but my style really hasn't changed much), especially since summer started. Jeans, cowboy boots, binder tank and a button down shirt hanging open. (Most of the time I wear an actual tank over the binder, but my tanks were no where to be found... of course.) I had also just before bought a new hat, you know that like military style type hat --simply for the fact I missed my hat collection (mostly of paperboy hats). I was for once wearing my glasses as well (kids like to lose those and my phone for me, rascals).
So anyway, grandparents arrive, and I pick up my daughter and carry her in to greet them. Grandma stops, looks at me, gets a confused expression on her face, and looks me up and down a couple more times. Then she looks up at me and says, 'You look different.' The look on my face must have been plain as day, because she looks me over again and starts vocally trying to figure out why I might look different.
My mother-in-law, standing right behind me, tries to help Grandma and goes, 'She did cut off a LOT of hair recently' and she makes me turn to show Grandma. (Oh no one on husband's side of the family knows except obviously husband. And I haven't switched pronouns yet)
Grandma looks and is like, 'No... that's not it. Seen her since then.'
So then my mother-in-law says, 'Is it the hat?'
'No...'
I'm standing there, so confused, like, what on earth is she on about? And why is Mom modeling me around?
So Grandma looks at me again, then says, 'You must have lost weight. That must be it.'
I just give her a look, and shrug. Truth is, I have lost a few pounds, but not enough to make a noticeable difference, plus I probably gained it back... Scale is out of battery so I haven't weighed myself in about a week or so.
Grandma hugs me, and then says, 'You look good.'
Me-- blank stare, kinda stiff at the hug. And a definite, 'What the hell is she doing' moment in my head. Not to mention, somewhere in the back of my head a voice saying, 'Huh... maybe you could in the near future come out to them,' with the main self saying, 'There is no way that's happening. Too scary. Husband can tell them.'
So later, I get in the car, and bad memory me couldn't remember if my husband had been in at the room at the time, so I ask him if he was and he basically wanted me to refresh his memory. (Which usually means he wasn't in the room but he doesn't want to admit it lol) Tell him the story, and he just flat out says, 'Must have been the binder. She is kind of old so she wouldn't realize what it was.'
I stared at him for a moment before saying, 'It has nothing to do with age. If you didn't know I was wearing a binder, you wouldn't assume, "Oh hey, that's a binder. Wonder if they're trans," now would you?'
He's like, 'Well... that's true. Good point. But still probably what she was referring to.'
So... it kind of feels to me like, 'Whoa, an acknowledgement moment' even if she didn't know what she was seeing. Probably reading a little deep into it though... What do you think?
(Just don't ask how the rest of my labor day went. Trust me, you don't want to know.)
Title: Re: Labor Day and Grandma's Confusion
Post by: Ryuichi13 on September 06, 2017, 11:53:25 PM
Post by: Ryuichi13 on September 06, 2017, 11:53:25 PM
Maybe its your entire attitude that changed. I know when I finally started becoming my true self, my confidence level went WAY up. Maybe she's detecting that.
Ryuichi
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Ryuichi
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