Susan's Place Transgender Resources

    Hi everyone, I know it's been awile. I've had a different kind of life from most trans people, spent more than 20 years working in high risk construction work, after seeing some of my coworkers get hurt or die on the job, and getting hurt myself, it has warped my way of thinking. There is a mentally, that some of us construction workers fall prey to, that's living life to it's fullest, sometimes that way of thinking can go bad, in so many ways. Sometimes I'd wake up in the morning wondering if I'd be alive, you try not thinking about it.
    I've always had a wild side, a warped since of humor, sometimes my jokes work, sometimes they bom. Also im a bit of a prankster, I've used this as a tool to make the sad in my life not so bad. If you expect me to act like a perfect lady, don't hold your breath. I'm one of the nicest people you can meet, I've been known to help just about anyone out evan ones I don't know. I'm not questioning that I'm trans. What I'm wondering has any of y'all gone through something like this?
     Also im a artist, cartoons, jokes, and I play bass. I think it would be cool to start a all trans heavy metal band, I've got some creative ideas, as it is fun being different.
     
       

I have.  After nearly three years on the forum and attending a support group a couple of times I don't feel like I fit in very well either.  I just quit worrying about it.  I am what I am.

My background is similar to yours but instead of construction I was in the Army; Infantry, Paratrooper, and Ranger, so I believe I understand your sentiments.

    Thanks Debra, that means alot.
              Hugs
                 Abbie

Some sites require that you conform to a certain standard and others need not apply. This site understands that we are all different and have different goals in life. If you are non binary, a tom boy or a fully feminine woman, it doesn't matter. If you are a FTM but still have feminine interests, that's fine as well. We have people working just about any profession you can imagine and while transitioning on the job might be interesting for some, there is no requirement that you change professions when you transition.

As for being joker, I sometimes think that's one of the requirements when you become forums staff. We are pretty off the wall on the public side and we are even worst in the forums area where we don't have to obey the TOS quite as closely. If you doubt me, look back on some of Cindy's old posts (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,199818.0.html) as they are pretty wild.

My opinion is that you fit in perfectly

 Thanks dena
     Abbie

Welcome to the club. Just try to ignore the talking points, liturgy and hymnal and you'll be fine. The tribe needs to stretch.


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Be who you are, I'll celebrate it with you. Differences make the world more interesting. I think the trans community, if I am not wrong, tends to be more an on line thing, like here. In the real world, I have heard of gay neighborhoods but not trans neighborhoods. Am I wrong in thinking being trans is usually more of a lone wolf kind of situation. The general desire as a trans person is to be less visible, not more. I hope you will share more of your story.
Moni

wow, you and I have a lot in common! I also work construction, but I'm going to quit next year after I get vested into the union, I can't quit yet cuz I'll lose my benefits if I do, but as of now I have no idea what profession I want to get in, so this is scary! I also play bass and guitar too! I'm in a punk band at the moment and I've played in hardcore bands before too! I definitely have some masculine hobbies but it doesn't matter. There's all types of women, and it doesn't matter if you don't feel like you fit into a certain role, as long as you have confidence in the fact that you're trans, that's all that should matter to you!

     Maddie,  Thanks girlfriend, I wasn't lucky enough to join a union, live in a very republican state.I've been also thinking of doing something different for a living, getting a little old to be doing this, and yes I'm a proud trans woman. One of the benefits of being the former town mischief maker/hellraiser is most of the people where I live don't pick on me about being trans. Glad to hear that you play. I think we will be good friends.
    To everyone I'd like to say thanks.
       Hugs
        Abbie

Dena hit the nail on the head so to speak.

My experience has been that everyone on this site has been very welcoming and helpful regardless of your goals.

I wouldn't say I work in a high risk Job but I certainly understand the mentality around thinking when will it be my time.

I rally at a national level and the thought "will it be this event that I wrap myself around a tree" is always present. I have seen many  close friends badly injured in big crashes and and have been at events where people died.

We (the drivers) have a saying in rallying it's not if it's when and how bad. It's a pessimist view but it's the truth.

I also work in the construction industry as a professional cabler it certainly isn't a particularly dangerous job but it's made going full time interesting when out of approx 600 staff in my state there were only 3 women thanks to me there is now 4 of us.

Don't be afraid that people on this forum will judge you because everyone I have dealt with has been amazing.

There are several people who see themselves as TomBoys, I certainly do.

I look forward to seeing you around the rest of the board the more you post the better we all get to know each other.

-Mara


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I love the idea of a Trans metal band. That would be Awesome! Not everyone  fits in this community or that one. You have to find ur place. Lots of us have chosen certain jobs because we feel comfortable there or are expected to. I haven't started HRT yet but I'm sure I will be more tomboyish/ nonbinary? I like the idea of playing both sides maybe that will change but for now I'm good with idea.

Like Mara said all of Us here will try are best to Help You and others out! Be yourself what ever that means!

((Hugs))

Christine

Quote from: Tammy Jade on September 24, 2017, 02:33:04 PM
There are several people who see themselves as TomBoys, I certainly do.

I'm right there with you.  Although I am an artist by trade, I'm more a craftsman, doing a lot of woodwork, metal work, love to get my hands dirty.  Just today, I have stain on my left hand, paint on my right.  Ruined the look of my nails, but I'm okay with that:)  I can't see giving up this work and hobbies for transitioning.  Oh, and I play violin and guitar, so the idea of a trans band is interesting, and I'd watch one, but no time to be in one.  My hobbies already take up too much time!

Bari Jo

Honestly the best and sometimes hardest part of the trans community is how different everyone is. To me the term is kinda odd. I think while we all share similar experiences in one aspect who we are and where we are going, and how we view things vary drastically.  If you are looking for a group to share with I truly believe you can find it with enough effort...

I avoid the "trans community" but not my trans sisters and brothers. Groups like this tend to suffer from a phenomenon known as "groupthink."

The definition is; "a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome. Group members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus decision without critical evaluation of alternative viewpoints by actively suppressing dissenting viewpoints, and by isolating themselves from outside influences."

In general I've never fit in. I'm a musician and artist. I mostly dress in black and have purple and red streaks in my hair. I have tattoos. All that's kind of more common now but it wasn't always.

I have weird, creative, artsy friends I love. I can't be bothered to fit in with "normal" people.  Lol.




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I don't feel I fit in either. Mostly because this is so unreal to me that it has happened to me that I feel I shouldn't be here. I know most people who figure this out feel that way too. I feel like it's not my life and that I am someone else.
Not sure if that makes sense. Never thought this would happen to me that I would find out I am in the wrong body.
My mind almost wants to suppress it and stay the way I am to not have to go through all this but I cannot do that because it would hurt more. Maybe I do belong and maybe this is part of my calling in life.

 Raven moon
        Yes I totally agree with you, a couple of months ago I had what I thought was a serious question that I put on the mtf thread, I wanted to see if some of my past bad behavior from when I was trying to be a man was normal for other trans women. I put a description of what some of my worst behavior was, and even said that I Do not do that stuff anymore!!!! Have no need to, the thing is I believe if you don't have the whole story you can't all ways get the point. Then I was attacked by a snob, judged and was told that I'm low class and crass, this t woman has made other replys to others peoples post that has a rude tone to it. I'm not mentioning her name, but my relpy to that is it's all ways better to be low class then to think ones self better than anyone else. Not to mention I'd never do or say anything that would hurt anyones feelings on purpose, if I did I do apologize, but not to a snob.
             Abbie

I'm a combat veteran, gun owner, libertarian voter, free market capitalist, and I've got zero pride stickers or flags on my car. (I don't do the car sticker thing)  And you think you've got problems fitting in?  ;D

But seriously I can totally relate to not fitting in with most of the community.  We all have being trans in common, but once we stray from that things get a little off kilter conversation wise.

I'm a trans woman into mountaineering, tackle football etc. Its good to be different and stereotypes are just that. We are all unique. Welcome!

 Colleen,
    My political views kind of lean to the librarian side, but think of my self as independent, not a strong presence in kansas.  Definitely a strong believer in the 2nd amendment, no stickers eather. I'm planning on painting my 4x4 jungle paint como, with a rubber ducky hood ornament, going to make that light up with the head lights.
Thanks to everyone
      Abbie

LOL.  I don't have any stickers either and these days I'm a flaming leftist as well as a veteran and for fun I run and powerlift on alternate days. 

Where does that fit on the trans spectrum.


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If you don't fit in well, maybe you're just different.  Like the rest of us.

Quote from: rmaddy on September 25, 2017, 06:30:22 PM
If you don't fit in well, maybe you're just different.  Like the rest of us.

We're exactly the same, but different.   ;)

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on September 25, 2017, 04:51:20 PM
I'm a combat veteran, gun owner, libertarian voter, free market capitalist, and I've got zero pride stickers or flags on my car. (I don't do the car sticker thing)  And you think you've got problems fitting in?  ;D

But seriously I can totally relate to not fitting in with most of the community.  We all have being trans in common, but once we stray from that things get a little off kilter conversation wise.

I work on things that kill people, and I love the job. No community will have me.  :laugh:

Have you been to  Roll Call  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,96755.0.html) yet?

Hugs, Devlyn

I work with operating engineers and go onto active construction sights and one of my responsibilities is the operation and capital projects for 1 million square feet of large mechanical equipment. I purchase utilities and have unlimited authority in its purchase. I am responsible to hire and terminate employees. When hiring one of our advertiser medium is a LGBT site.

In the past, I would not do it now, I walked steel 11 or 12 storied up without safety equipment.

At group there ia a trans woman with 17 years in the army and a few months from getting her Wharton MBA, two business owners. One was doing street work and now electrolysis (I go to her now), a MD and we had two other MD's that have not bee there for a while. We have homeless woman and woman the actively do street work. I have friends that self medicate and have HIV. there are plenty of trans men and woman there that do all sorts of work. Point being there are a lot of different people from all walks of life. You are not alone.

I made a lot of friends in community. I volunteer a lot. I get involved.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 25, 2017, 06:46:12 PM
I work on things that kill people, and I love the job. No community will have me.  :laugh:

Have you been to  Roll Call  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,96755.0.html) yet?

Hugs, Devlyn

Sure have. Explaining how I used to kill people and break things for a living makes for interesting conversation nowadays.

Seems like most of you fit in somewhere. I was in the group of no group. I've probably had over 30 jobs in my life, done college up to masters level and tried army rotc, but found it wasn't for me. I think to independently. I'm not a first responders, never have been, and I'm not a flag waver nor belong to any political party. Philosophically, I'm probably modern Jeffersonian. I can get along with people just fine, but I don't like buying into narratives nor carrying water. Reason is my highest ideal. On top of that I'm trans and mildly asperger. Always on the outside looking in.


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Our past and our future mean we except our future! Some are activists most of use just want to be who we believe we are or becoming! Susan's place brings us together as a family! Our common bond is our belief we are more than we are! We want one thing to be honest with who we are! Life is tough! Transitioning is our future!
Life is better, good or better being honest with our selfs! Our families love or dislike us when we change because there perspective is upset by change! We really never changed! We just as a butterfly became whole!
I'm enjoying coming out, I'm finally at peace with myself! My sweetheart of 16 years is disturbed! Like I told her I'm still me! I'm 61 and I'm finally at peace and I may never make it to fully transition! Baby steps forward! I love the outdoors I like working! Always moving forward! I'm no activist! I'm just a simple person being myself! If somebody doesn't except me, I understand because I spend a lifetime not like who I was either! Now I except myself for who I'm! Peace and love are all I want!


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There is a huge trans community where I live and it is the most divisive and discriminatory group of people I have ever encountered. I've been kicked out of online social groups and called a "man".

But I know why, it is jealousy. I don't conform to their idiotic classification system. Which is that you need to be exactly like them or you're not "trans". I don't claim to be anything but myself. But when it appears you're invading their turf they get hostile. Actually to the point of violent and threatening outbursts.

I have been threatened to be thrown out of a club on more than one occasion for absolutely no reason. Like I said. It's jealousy. I keep care of myself. When I go out I dress to impress. I suppose I make them look bad. It's just the way it is. They see I'm happy and it makes them miserable. Most have beards and dress in rags. I wouldn't mention those things if they didn't come up during their outbursts. The truth comes out.

There are some great friends though. And the ones who are guilty know who you are. I'm sure they're on here. So when you read this "Hiiii".