Susan's Place Transgender Resources

For people who had thick, dark beards with rough skin, and can't shave anywhere near close enough to make the skin smooth (much less hide the dark hairs under the skin), and no technique of makeup looks both semi-natural and hides the beard, how the $#@! did you get through the time it took to do electrolysis? I feel I can't walk out the door as me because I'm obviously a very hairy (on my face) person no matter what I do.

I'm getting electrolysis, and sometime near when our sun turns super-nova, at least that's how I feel when I look in the mirror.  I can't keep waiting, but I have no choice. I finally decided I want to be who I am and I have to wait, which sounds like something a toddler might say, but it's really dang hard for me.

I'm tough, and will make it through this, but I really can't see this getting any easier ever, and that, today, makes me pretty sad. But I really am interested in how people similar to me might have made it through this.

Is it normal to have this much teen angst when you're middle aged?  :/

Hi Torijo

If you start HRT then you will really understand teen angst on a whole new level...  :D We all seem to have things that make us feel really bad...as far as beards go...if its dark you can try Laser as a quick fix to help lighten things...I am assuming you have tried colour correction under your foundation?

You could try Dermablend to cover the beard. It seems pretty incredible

I saw this on You tube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXLX9gtHuAk

With a dark beard, you migh want to try laser.  Laser works well with dark hair, and it is much faster than electrolysis.  A 20-minute laser session can cover the whole face.

Quote from: KathyLauren on September 30, 2017, 05:40:31 AM
With a dark beard, you migh want to try laser.  Laser works well with dark hair, and it is much faster than electrolysis.  A 20-minute laser session can cover the whole face.

It will take +/- 6 laser treatments about a month apart.   For me it removed all the dark hairs.

One more thing it's way less expensive.  My face and neck was $550 total.  I still shave daily but there are no dark hairs and no shadow at all.

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I have the same issue only mine is mostly blond and white.  I'm doing five plus hours of electrolysis a week.  It's slowlythinning out now.  The beard causes the greatest amount of GD for me so I'm happier the more electrolysis that's done.  Go get yours lasered=  it might not remove everything, but it'll reduce the amount of electrolysis you will need to endure.

Even I have great dysphoria about my beard. What I do is, shave two times a day, once along the grain, and once against it.
       Shaving against the grain is painful but you get used to it.
     Ofcourse, this is just a temporary measure, till I start earning. I'll get my whole body lasered, when I start earning. Luckily, I have fair skin and dark hair.


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Thanks everyone, I was feeling really low last night.  I can shave against the grain, use electric razors, wet shave, dry shave, and the 100 other things and nothing basically works - so I'll look forward to hair removal doing its' thing, and try to remind myself to be patient.  This time last year I weighed 210 lbs, I weigh 177 according to the scale this morning - I am trying to remind myself that I can stick with something and I'll like the end result, just like I did with weight. But it is horrible when I see myself in the mirror on a particularly dysphoric & hairy day.

Quote from: ToriJo on September 30, 2017, 10:03:41 AM
Thanks everyone, I was feeling really low last night.  I can shave against the grain, use electric razors, wet shave, dry shave, and the 100 other things and nothing basically works - so I'll look forward to hair removal doing its' thing, and try to remind myself to be patient.  This time last year I weighed 210 lbs, I weigh 177 according to the scale this morning - I am trying to remind myself that I can stick with something and I'll like the end result, just like I did with weight. But it is horrible when I see myself in the mirror on a particularly dysphoric & hairy day.

I have the same type beard.  I used to say, as soon as I shave, I need to shave.  Get on Groupon and see if there is a Groupon for laser in your area.  You might be able to get 6 treatments for $250.  I am so bummed than I can't, due to my beard color.  I am doing a lot of electrolysis, and those sessions help ease the GD.

If laser isn't an option, you might consider using mass clearing. In the United States there is one place where they give you nerve blocks and they use two operators for 8 hours or more in a session. The first clearing might take a couple of days but you could shave until it's time for the next clearing. Naturally it takes several clearing but that would help overcome the problems with your beard in a hurry.

Quote from: Dena on September 30, 2017, 12:10:29 PM
If laser isn't an option, you might consider using mass clearing. In the United States there is one place where they give you nerve blocks and they use two operators for 8 hours or more in a session. The first clearing might take a couple of days but you could shave until it's time for the next clearing. Naturally it takes several clearing but that would help overcome the problems with your beard in a hurry.

I saw that Dena.  I saw video of the procedure, and honestly the look of their face just after treatment scares me.  Are they damaged now?  Will any of that be permanent?  Price is actually fairly good, but it's the potential damage that scares me.  I might be over thinking!

Quote from: Bari Jo on September 30, 2017, 02:27:34 PM
I saw that Dena.  I saw video of the procedure, and honestly the look of their face just after treatment scares me.  Are they damaged now?  Will any of that be permanent?  Price is actually fairly good, but it's the potential damage that scares me.  I might be over thinking!

From what I understand, you might be swollen for about a week after treatment. I have seen a Susan's member who is going there and I didn't notice any skin damage as the result of the treatment. Even with standard electrolysis  your face gets red and might stay that way for up to 24 hours. Electrolysis is a bit brutal but with a good operator, there should be no lasting marks.

Quote from: ToriJo on September 30, 2017, 10:03:41 AM
Thanks everyone, I was feeling really low last night.  I can shave against the grain, use electric razors, wet shave, dry shave, and the 100 other things and nothing basically works - so I'll look forward to hair removal doing its' thing, and try to remind myself to be patient.  This time last year I weighed 210 lbs, I weigh 177 according to the scale this morning - I am trying to remind myself that I can stick with something and I'll like the end result, just like I did with weight. But it is horrible when I see myself in the mirror on a particularly dysphoric & hairy day.

Have you tried DE or straight razor?  Hot towel and shave soap with a badger brush? Getting your face smooth after shaving can't be rushed with a BIC, and what I usually do is shave every other day or every 3 depending on how irritated my skin was. If done correctly, opening and closing pores, you can have a very clean face from shaving.

Is it weird that my dysphoria with my beard makes me feel like I am the only one with a thick beard? Really glad (even though from experience it sucks a lot) I am not the only gal with this issue. Having a thick beard has always been dysphoric for me. It feels like I can never shave enough to get rid of it.

I had to stop shaving earlier this year for about 6 weeks because I picked up a fungus from work. It was on my face and I couldn't shave because that would cause it to spread while I was putting on the anti-fungal cream. I was super dysphoric during those 6 weeks. Ugh.

This whole thread has been very helpful because I have been thinking about starting electrolysis first before I started HRT. But lasering seems to be the better option? Hmm...

I have to work on getting the money together though, but nothing wrong with getting some info and figuring out what is best for me.

FWIW, I will be going to Dallas for Electrolysis (first session is this month) - I am lucky to have the resources to afford the sessions and travel, and I *really* want the hair gone, forever (if you can't tell!).  I also have a job that lets me work from home enough that I won't have a problem there, and if I feel really dysphoric, I'll just come out to my boss a bit earlier than I planned and explain that I really need to work from home a bit more right now.  It still seems too long, but seems like the path that will give me the end result that I will be most happy with the quickest. Then I can freak out about something else.

Dena - And I wish it was two days!  For me, my first clearing is going to take *3 days*. Then back in 6-8 weeks or whatever they tell me is the right amount of time, then rinse, repeat.  They did tell me that they've actually seen people with more facial hair, but I suspect I was on the ape side of the hair spectrum!

Quote from: SarahMarie1987 on September 30, 2017, 05:45:54 PM
Is it weird that my dysphoria with my beard makes me feel like I am the only one with a thick beard? Really glad (even though from experience it sucks a lot) I am not the only gal with this issue. Having a thick beard has always been dysphoric for me. It feels like I can never shave enough to get rid of it.

I know that feeling.  Then I talk to trans friends who tell me how awful their beards are, and say things like, "Ya, I have to shave at least once a week" or some other thing I so wish was true!

Quote from: SarahMarie1987 on September 30, 2017, 05:45:54 PM
I had to stop shaving earlier this year for about 6 weeks because I picked up a fungus from work. It was on my face and I couldn't shave because that would cause it to spread while I was putting on the anti-fungal cream. I was super dysphoric during those 6 weeks. Ugh.

Wow, I can't imagine.

I hope you find something that you can do and which works well for you.

I'm right there with you the annoying thick beard.  :-\ I have spent an ungodly amount of money (for me at least) on shaving equipment in the past 2 months to find something that works, but not only is it still visible, there is still stubble some places! (Not just my face, but even supposedly easier to shave areas! Even creams leave stubble for some reason, which really confuses me.) On top of that, I'm nervous about using DE or Straight razors because I have a plummeting platelet count. Even after using a safety razor I'm bleeding for an hour. Even worse, nowhere here does real laser at a sane price so I'm pretty much just out of luck until I get out of here.

I really need to not shave for a few days to let everything heal lest I do real damage, but beyond just not wanting the beard there I'm also currently trying to practice makeup which means I need as clean shave as much as possible.

Can you get an acceptably close shave with a quality electric? I've done what I can with cartridges and double edged safeties (DE) and can still feel follicles. Having a quick and straightforward good shave might be preferable to having skin you can see your reflection in, until you get the hairlessness you were supposed to have in the first place.  I was watching a video demonstration of DE, it went on for about 15 minutes. Without narration? Only 8.  Who has the time?

There are a couple of other operators in the US that do marathon sessions besides Electro 3k in Dallas, IIRC. Your local zapper might be up for multi hour visits too, of course.

Quote from: Lucy Ross on October 01, 2017, 06:22:00 PM
Can you get an acceptably close shave with a quality electric?

For my part, electrics have failed miserably. I have a few in the moderate price range that I used before recently settling on a shick hydro 5, which has been the winner for me so far (without getting into the DE and straight razors) being no more time intensive than the electrics and offering a better shave with less irritation. Past my own moderate electrics, my dad's fairly high end electric also failed. Even when I tried my nephew's super expensive brand spankin' new electric razor (my brother gets dazzled by new toys easy and wanted an excuse to buy it) it still fell short of using the hydro 5, which was hugely disappointing. However this is yet another one of the many ymmv things, as I've heard of several people switching to electrics for the shave they couldn't get with others.

Quote from: Lucy Ross on October 01, 2017, 06:22:00 PM
Can you get an acceptably close shave with a quality electric?

I couldn't.  In my male years, when I wasn't wearing a beard, I used an electric.  It is fast and convenient and totally adequate for a guy.  For a dysphoric trans woman, it leaves too much stubble.  My skin still felt like sandpaper after the closest electric shave.

I now use 3-blade disposable razors.  It takes three or four times as long as an electric, but the shave is much closer.

I use a combination of electric (high end Panasonic) and triple blade razor (Gillette Mach 3).  The electric works really good on my chin and much of my face, the blade on my neck.  I have tried pretty much every brand of razor (blade and not), but not DE or straight edges because I cut my face bad enough with the triple blade razor.  I think everyone is different - i know several transwomen that look beautiful and passable after simply shaving. I'm just not one of them.

Quote from: ToriJo on October 01, 2017, 10:13:50 PM
I use a combination of electric (high end Panasonic) and triple blade razor (Gillette Mach 3).  The electric works really good on my chin and much of my face, the blade on my neck.  I have tried pretty much every brand of razor (blade and not), but not DE or straight edges because I cut my face bad enough with the triple blade razor.  I think everyone is different - i knowd several transwomen that look beautiful and passable after simply shaving. I'm just not one of them.

Ive tried everything as well.  Whenever I get a semi close shave, I get ingrown hairs too.  So far the only thing that has worked for my is epilating.  Of course that gives me ingrown hairs too.  Enter electrolysis.  I'm banking my money there, sending my electroligists kid to college probably.

What is DE?  I couldn't find info on that.

Double edge razor. I'm not really sure what makes them special, but people seem to like them.

DE = the old fashioned Double Edge safety razor. I used to use one years ago, being a fan of the archaic. Had the badger brush, mixing bowl, 5 different soaps, etc. Mostly I just cut myself though. They're tricky to use, cartridge razors do most of the work for you.

DE are all the rage with the posters on shaving forums, though.  Yes, there are such things.  One has 4 grades of closeness, D3 is best, any cartridge is worst.

Hah, seems obvious now.  When I did searches for de and beard I got tutorials on how to debeard a clam.  Then I though, is that what she means me to do to my face?

In any case, I tried my dads razor, he basically gave it to me saying he was just going to use disposables from then on.  Yes it hot close, about as close as a straight razor.  I still got ingrown hairs and could feel the sandpaper feel when rubbed no against the grain though.  I will tell you this though. DE was fun for a while till I got a few long cuts accidentally.  Then I put it down forever.

Oh this is my biggest cause of angst! I'm half Italian. I was never very hairy until I got older. I now have a fairly heavy beard. Lots of black hair. So even after shaving, and I also do the against the grain thing, I still have a shadow.

I've been using Harry's blades, and the new batch I just got are super. I shave in the shower. My shave was so close that it looked like I had makeup on! But soon the shadow is back. [emoji53]

I'll be starting laser soon. Unfortunately lots of my beard is white now. But if I can at least kill the shadow soon, I'll deal with the rest as I go along.

I'm still living as a very androgynous guy. But I *HATE* my facial hair.

I don't get "dressed up" in public much at all at this point. Mostly for this reason. I must try Dermablend soon.

All my dysphoria is centered on my face. The beard is #1, followed by my nose. Lo.


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I am pre-HRT right now, so shaving my face is pretty much like the appearance for my assigned gender.

My big issue is the amount of shaving I need to just to have a semi-smooth face. For example, I shaved Friday morning, but by mid-afternoon, it looks as if I haven't shaved at all. Stubble is just frustrating to deal with.

I use a combo of a Remington electric shaver and a 3 blade Gillette razor to shave my face. Doeddsn't always keep me smooth, but it does get rid of the facial hair 85% of the time.

Oddly, outside of my leg hair, I don't have that much body hair. Nor is it thick. Shaving my legs is a bit tedious, but that hair isn't thick. So if I feel bad about my face, shaving my body is usually a helpful way to combat dysphoria.

P.S.- It seems that the facial fungus I picked up a few months ago is gone. Woo hoo!!

Quote from: SarahMarie1987 on October 08, 2017, 11:00:44 AM
P.S.- It seems that the facial fungus I picked up a few months ago is gone. Woo hoo!!

Eee, you need to patent and market that pronto!

I used to shave with a straight razor. I takes some technique, and definetely takes more time than other shaving methods, unless you don't mind slitting your throat every once in a while.

If you can't find any natural looking make up, try an unnatural one. I use a creamy foundation which covers almost anything. You can also try pancake, it makes your face look like porcelain. The one I use is noticeably lighter than my face, my father sais I look like a vampire with it, but I never got any bad comments about it.

One thing that might help the cost of laser and electrolysis is to seek out a nearby beauty school.  Sometimes they have an in house spa and they do those services for much less than going to an actual spa.  I went to the local beauty school here and I paid $18 per hour for electrolysis and $99 per session for Laser.  Granted you have a student doing the work, but with both laser and electrolysis I have had good results.  Sadly I had to stop due to my own financial reasons, but I am hoping to get back there to finish the job.

I did my first treatment in Dallas - they got done with my face a day earlier than expected, so it was just two days (and the second felt really long!) in the chair.  Right now, I'm swollen and red, but also hairless on my face which, albeit temporary, is really a wonderful thing.  I'll be back in 6 weeks.

Quote from: ToriJo on October 18, 2017, 08:06:32 AM
I did my first treatment in Dallas - they got done with my face a day earlier than expected, so it was just two days (and the second felt really long!) in the chair.  Right now, I'm swollen and red, but also hairless on my face which, albeit temporary, is really a wonderful thing.  I'll be back in 6 weeks.

Hi ToriJo, love that you are doing this and sharing your experience.  I'm very close to doing it myself too!

This is all great information! Every day I come here and learn things I always have wanted to know, but was afraid to ask! I skipped shaving on Tuesday, was just too tired, and some time around the end of my workday, I saw myself with full shadow in a mirror, and had a minor panic attack. I shaved the second I got home!  :D

Just curious if anyone has tried an epilator on facial hair? 

Quote from: RachClayburn on October 19, 2017, 09:46:15 AM

Just curious if anyone has tried an epilator on facial hair?

Yes, I have a long history of this.  I don't recommend it but I'll give tips since I know how bad dysphoria can be, at least for me with the beard.

Do not do your first clearing with an Epilator.  The machine works fast and pulls out too many hairs at once.  It is very painful to do that first clearing this way.  Instead get a magnifying mirror and tweezers and go to town.  I was able to clear my entire beard in a weekend and mine is thick.  Afterwards hair grows at different rates and they are new hairs, using the Epilator on that is fairly pain free, relatively.

After about a year of doing this I decided to just do electrolysis.  I was hoping that by epilating the hair would give up the ghost, but that never happened.  Electrolysis is working though, just slowly.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on October 19, 2017, 10:08:27 AM
Yes, I have a long history of this.  I don't recommend it but I'll give tips since I know how bad dysphoria can be, at least for me with the beard.

Do not do your first clearing with an Epilator.  The machine works fast and pulls out too many hairs at once.  It is very painful to do that first clearing this way.  Instead get a magnifying mirror and tweezers and go to town.  I was able to clear my entire beard in a weekend and mine is thick.  Afterwards hair grows at different rates and they are new hairs, using the Epilator on that is fairly pain free, relatively.

After about a year of doing this I decided to just do electrolysis.  I was hoping that by epilating the hair would give up the ghost, but that never happened.  Electrolysis is working though, just slowly.

Bari Jo

Very good to know! Thank you!