Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Denise on October 08, 2017, 10:30:56 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Bummer - missed an educational opportunity
Post by: Denise on October 08, 2017, 10:30:56 PM
Today was the Chicago Marathon.  So I decided to rollerblade around the city for the day and just "people watch".  After 25 miles my legs were shot so I took the skates off and walked into lake michigan (I was wearing the cutest leggings!)  While I was just standing in water up to my waste a child (presenting as a little girl) about 7 years old came up and asked how deep the water was where I was standing. 

"It's up to my waist" I reply (thinking, okay, how should I answer this)

"Oh," they say, looking a little puzzled.  "Are you a girl or a boy?"

"what do you think?"

Pause, "Boy."

"Nope I'm a girl," I told them.

They took off and started talking to their mother and grandmother who were standing on the beach.

Two things came to mind with this story
1) "mom" and "grandmom" must have been talking about it for them to rush back "and report" I said.
2) I should have replied "I used to be a boy, but now I'm a girl."  (Nuts, next time.)
Title: Re: Bummer - missed an educational opportunity
Post by: echo7 on October 08, 2017, 11:51:49 PM
Quote from: Denise on October 08, 2017, 10:30:56 PM
2) I should have replied "I used to be a boy, but now I'm a girl."  (Nuts, next time.)

Actually I disagree with that, and feel that what you really said to her was okay.  You are a girl and always have been.  Maybe you were presenting as a boy previously, but you are and always were a girl where it really matters - in your heart, mind, and soul.

I believe that that narrative - that in our essence, we were always girls, and are changing our bodies to look more like a girl - is the narrative that we as a community need to put forward when we attempt to educate the cisgender world.  And in so doing I think we will gain more acceptance, as it conveys the truth that we are not changing who we are but instead aligning our bodies to who we always have been since the beginning.
Title: Re: Bummer - missed an educational opportunity
Post by: mayatis on October 09, 2017, 08:05:17 AM
I'm with echo. I think it's more important to teach children not to assume gender just based on appearances (probably not a bad lesson vis-a-vis cis folk, too!). It's a good foundation from which someone can learn that maybe the reason we shouldn't assume gender is because some people might have transitioned!
Title: Re: Bummer - missed an educational opportunity
Post by: Denise on October 09, 2017, 10:09:07 AM
Interesting take on the situation.  Unfortunately I pass most of the time so she probably just assumed I was a masculine girl.  In this case there was no lesson learned other than some girls look masculine.  I would rather have taught her that Transgender people exist, we're everywhere and it's not something to be afraid of.

Let say they struggling with Gender Dysphoria, it was give an opportunity to educate and to potentially start a dialog with her parents/guardians. I know it could have helped me 50 years ago.
Title: Re: Bummer - missed an educational opportunity
Post by: bobbisue on October 09, 2017, 10:39:36 AM
 A couple of days ago I was working at a canteen for our newly formed GSA [ so proud] in my home town I was asked by a child about 8 to 10 years old if I was a guy or a lady because you sound like a guy I replied that I am a lady a transgender lady but definitely a lady they were fine with this answer later one of the other ladies explained to them why this is a rude question, I didn't mind so much as they had said sound like a guy not look  It is one of only a few times I have been out in public as myself and the first time anyone has said anything
     bobbisue :)
Title: Re: Bummer - missed an educational opportunity
Post by: Devlyn on October 09, 2017, 10:53:04 AM
A point to ponder. Look at us all assuming that the children are boys or girls...based on appearance....based on what a doctor said.....based on their genitals.....is any of this sounding familiar?

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Bummer - missed an educational opportunity
Post by: bobbisue on October 09, 2017, 10:58:43 AM
  A very good point Devlyn could you please edit my post and fix my faux pas and change it to child   

  bobbisue :embarrassed:
Title: Re: Bummer - missed an educational opportunity
Post by: Devlyn on October 09, 2017, 11:11:57 AM
We all do it, honey. It's societal conditioning. It's almost impossible to shake, evidenced by the fact that we, of all people can't.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Bummer - missed an educational opportunity
Post by: Denise on October 09, 2017, 11:42:56 AM
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 09, 2017, 10:53:04 AM
A point to ponder. Look at us all assuming that the children are boys or girls...based on appearance....based on what a doctor said.....based on their genitals.....is any of this sounding familiar?

Hugs, Devlyn

You are correct (as usual).  I have updated my posts in this tread to be gender neutral. (see my next new thread)