Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi there everyone. I'll just get right to it.

I am an afab transmasc nonbinary person and I can't decide whether or not I should change my name. My birthname is Hazel which I know isn't the most feminine name out there but I still feel like it doesn't fit me. I'm a masculine/androgynous person and I want my name to reflect that. However, I do like my birthname. It's uncommon, it's nature-based which I like, and my parents planted a hazel tree when I was born. It was also the name of a male hare in Watership Down but that is the only case of the name belonging to a man/male character that I know of so I don't think it's really a gender neutral name like how some people say it is, though I would like to hear your opinions on this.

It isn't that I feel very uncomfortable when I hear my name, rather it's just that it feels like someone is getting my name slightly wrong all the time. Like an Aiden getting called Adrien all the time or something. On bad days though it will make me dysphoric. I want to introduce myself as something more neutral and that reflects me better. I think I would go by Hayden if I changed it. But I'm not out to family and I still live with them so changing it legally is out of the question for now.

Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

I've always assumed Hazel was a female/feminine name. If you want to change it do so.  But be prepared for people getting your new name wrong as well; which happened to me :P

Quote from: Haz on October 10, 2017, 04:33:51 AM
Hi there everyone. I'll just get right to it.

I am an afab transmasc nonbinary person and I can't decide whether or not I should change my name. My birthname is Hazel which I know isn't the most feminine name out there but I still feel like it doesn't fit me. I'm a masculine/androgynous person and I want my name to reflect that. However, I do like my birthname. It's uncommon, it's nature-based which I like, and my parents planted a hazel tree when I was born. It was also the name of a male hare in Watership Down but that is the only case of the name belonging to a man/male character that I know of so I don't think it's really a gender neutral name like how some people say it is, though I would like to hear your opinions on this.

It isn't that I feel very uncomfortable when I hear my name, rather it's just that it feels like someone is getting my name slightly wrong all the time. Like an Aiden getting called Adrien all the time or something. On bad days though it will make me dysphoric. I want to introduce myself as something more neutral and that reflects me better. I think I would go by Hayden if I changed it. But I'm not out to family and I still live with them so changing it legally is out of the question for now.

Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Hi Haz

Welcome to Susan's

I spent a long time considering my name and eventually settled on a combinations of reason but first and foremost was that I liked it. Secondly  the name had special meaning. I think you need to be 100% comfortable with what ever name you choose because if it just annoys you now it might really annoy you in a couple of years when you are sick of it feeling wrong. Take your time and make sure you are happy as you are the one who has to live with it.

Please feel free to drop by our  Non-Binary Introduction  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,108501.0.html) and tell us a little more about yourself. 

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I changed my name because it carried bad memories, also it was a way to detach from my old self and start a new era.

Change your name if you want, but remember that most people are not 100% comfortable with their name.

How about Hazelton?
Sounds masculine (and a bit preppy). 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

Wellcome to Susan's Place. I wasn't exactly uncomfortable with my male name but it was definitely masculine so I looked for a feminine name that had a tie to my birth name. Assuming something like that might work for you,  I found a list of names (https://nameberry.com/search/boys_names/H) where you might find something of interest.

P.S. I found a much better list (https://www.babycenter.com/babyNamerSearch.htm?startIndex=1280&gender=MALE&sort=az&batchSize=40&startsWith=H)

I recommend trying out Hayden (and/or any other name you're considering) for awhile in a place where there's no pressure: e.g., online, or among a group of trusted friends. You may find that it's really freeing and strengthen your resolve to change your name. Or it may make you realize you're more comfortable with Hazel after all. Either way, knowing for sure it's what you want will ease your mind as you're putting down the legal fees and extensive paperwork that most places require.

As for myself, it took me years to find a name that really resonated with me, but now that I've changed to it it's such an unexpected load off my shoulders not to have to hear my deadname constantly and be reminded of my gender issues.

If your name does make you uncomfortable and you can afford to change it, there's no reason to force yourself to live with it. Especially if you're still young and don't have a bunch of work history under your birth name to worry about.

I really feel like I need a female name to replace my male name. It might be weird but I really want someone else to pick it, but I wouldn't want it to be derivative of my male name, and I would like to like it of course  :-*