Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I feel like a bit of a minority on this site, seeing as how I have changed so little when I transitioned. My tomboyish qualities I have retained, with the addition of makeup and skirts/dresses for special occasions. Aside from that, I dress pretty much exactly as I did in high school (before my two-year stint of "playing it straight"). I have even kept a lot of my old clothes... the band t-shirts, and the big flannels...

Does anyone else continue wearing their "boy clothes"? Or is it just me? lol

I ditched all mine, and when I have a boy day he's outta luck fashion wise!  :laugh:

Hugs, Devlyn

I kept one pair of jeans and a T-shirt for painting and other messy work.  Everything else went into either the charity bin or the garbage.

Quote from: KathyLauren on October 11, 2017, 07:43:21 PM
I kept one pair of jeans and a T-shirt for painting and other messy work.  Everything else went into either the charity bin or the garbage.

Same, except two of each and my hiking shoes. 

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I like raiding Primary's closet to blend his stuf with my outftits and always check out the guy's department when I shop for a cute hoodie or tee.

Well darn, maybe I am the only one... here at least.

But I understand that clothes play a huge role in getting gendered properly.

Since I am tall and large, there are some specialty items that still make sense for me from the men's section--hiking apparel, for example.  Running shoes.  My life jacket.  Beyond this, I have a few items left over that seem to play well with my women's clothing.  I always look to women's items first, but I won't toss something I already own if I can make it work without feeling that it masculinizes me.

The thing that I like about men's clothes is that sometimes they shrink me, so I look more feminine when I wear them... oddly enough. Also they're comfortable and I like them.

Though you could argue that my t-shirts are androgynous, as they are not marketed to men or women, specifically, being as they are band tees.

My flannels though are totally men's work flannels lol

It really does come down to what works best, aesthetically when placed on one's body. I feel awkward in a lot of super feminine clothing because I am tall and the smaller the clothing the bigger I feel look and I don't like feeling super big, so on goes the looser clothing to shrink me.

The shirt I'm wearing in my profile pic is a leftover from my pre-transition days.

I kept a lot of my "boy" clothes for a small amount of time.  I slowly started to get rid of them when I first started wearing skirts (thanks to website called skirt cafe.org, which is about men wearing skirts) and now I now longer no have a split closet and couldn't be happier as I can dress as myself full time.

Just wanted to check to make sure that I was not misunderstood: I wear "boy clothes" (which is in quotations for a reason because clothing knows no gender) even though I am full time. So my "boy clothes" are a part of my everyday wardrobe and not a holdover from my pre-transition days. I'm still presenting as female when I wear them.

I only wear boy clothes when on the rare occasion that I have to meet an old client that doesn't know, then I have a few mens shirts and my new made to measure suit, but underneath I am all female as know male undies basically just don't fit as my buttocks and hips are too wide and with 44C bust  without a jacket its too obvious.

Basically I knew I had to transition to full time about 12 months ago after having the fabric  of my male trousers  rip from waistband to crotch when I bent down as I was presenting on stage to pick up a laser pointer. Basically  having increased the  size of my buttocks by 3", there was no longer any give in the trousers.

So I now have a made to measure mens suit to suit my womanly body. Mind you even the tailor was surprised as he hadn't seen me in a while commented also on how much upper body muscle I had lost so much so that OI now have soft sloping shoulders. - hence the padding in my shoulders in the jacket.

Judith.

PS Mind you I look great in a kilt!

I have kept most of my boy clothes

1: I have a lot of expensive Motorsport tops that I'm not willing to get rid of because I love them. Additionally in the group of people I am involved with in Motorsport several of the cis women own the same tops anyway. After all Motorsport tops generally come in one crappy women's option and 10 guys options so its quite normal to see women in men's Motorsport tops.

2: The above logic also applies to Nerd tops, I still love my Kylo Ren top and my Deadpool top and with the right jeans and accessories i'm more then happy to rock them, I also find with my boy shape mens tops fit quite well because of the longer waist which helps with my self consciousness about my stomach.

3: We have andro work uniform that is the same for both male and female field staff so I had to kept all of that.

4: I keep all my rough working on car/ getting greasy clothes as well, I wasn't about to by a new wardrobe just to ruin it the first time I had to change a gearbox, or lay in the mud at a event and check under the car for damage.

So all in all apart from going threw and throwing everything that didn't fit any more I basically kept everything and just started adding women clothes to my existing wardrobe but I have no issue in rocking guys clothes where suitable, there is no rule that says I cant be TomGirl sometimes.

I never had specifically "boy clothes". Mine were all pretty much gender neutral. The only totally boy clothes I had was a suit my mother made me wear to a stupid wedding when I was 14. As soon as the hateful wedding was over I threw the ugly thing in the trash and dumped wet coffee grounds on it to make sure it couldn't be saved if my mom found it in the trash can. When I transitioned I started wearing very fem clothes. Skirts, dresses, etc. But I do still have some of my gender neutral clothes that I wear if I'm painting or doing something dirty.

A big reminder to clean out my closets...

I never really liked my male clothes, I was blaming it on "not have found my style" - now I know why.

I still wear them for work on the house or the garden to protect the female clothing. In day to day live, I have only worn a few of my old t-shirts.

I also have many female outfits which could be read both ways. This to me is a good compromise where I do not take too much risk while still being female.

I will keep a minimum stock around for the case where I have to wear drab. Most of it will go in boxes for another year then given away. The bigger issue is that I still have to do so much shopping to re-stock my wardrobe. I do get better about it and since I mostly stopped shopping online the hit rate is a bit higher (online I often ordered too small or too big or I ended up not liking it).

I still have to present male at work & around town, so I still have quite a bit. Even after I go full time in a few months, I'm keeping some of my favorite t-shirts (that technically are 'unisex' anyway). I used to have dozens of anime shirts, but over the years I just lost interest in wearing them (plus I really didn't get out much, so rarely had the occasion anyway). However, a friend of mine is actually making me a quilt out of them!
Everything else will get dropped in a charity bin.

Quote from: Julia1996 on October 12, 2017, 06:02:39 AM
I never had specifically "boy clothes". Mine were all pretty much gender neutral. The only totally boy clothes I had was a suit my mother made me wear to a stupid wedding when I was 14. As soon as the hateful wedding was over I threw the ugly thing in the trash and dumped wet coffee grounds on it to make sure it couldn't be saved if my mom found it in the trash can. When I transitioned I started wearing very fem clothes. Skirts, dresses, etc. But I do still have some of my gender neutral clothes that I wear if I'm painting or doing something dirty.

Yeah my clothes could also be considered gender neutral. The shirts are unisex, and the jeans, though fitted for women, are no different than the jeans I wore in high school (which were also fitted for women). In a sense I feel like I have cone full circle. That's why I don't really mind my high school photos, because I still look like a girl in them, just a very butch girl. I'm sure if I showed someone they wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Quote from: Allie24 on October 11, 2017, 08:28:12 PM
Well darn, maybe I am the only one... here at least.

But I understand that clothes play a huge role in getting gendered properly.

Our posts must have crossed in cyberspace, Allie24. I said right above this how much I rock boy clothes and nobody thinks I look like a guy when I wear them. I am 5'10" 146 pounds and totally get feeling awkward in super feminine clothing, how comfy guy stuf is, and how it makes me look smaller. It's not everybody's style, but I think a girl has to have alot of self confidence to wear boy clothes and not worry that people will think she is a guy.

Quote from: flytrap on October 12, 2017, 08:04:04 AM
I rock boy clothes and nobody thinks I look like a guy when I wear them.

This is my goal.  I'm not presenting yet, and still have lots of boy clothes.  I want there to be no question even if I'm wearing boy clothes.  I want to be seen as Bari Jo no matter the clothes.

I am also only presenting male mode now since I am not out to anyone but my wife currently. I have lost so much weight though that I am now having to buy jeans and shirts that fit better and of course my wife only helps me shop in the mens clothing section. I am buying all the clothes used though since I don't want to buy anything new that is mens clothing. I am also not even close to passing so I don't want to buy any female clothes yet. I did try to grab some womens jeans from goodwill but the sizing was all messed up between brands so I couldn't find any that fit properly.

Not by choice
I will burn all boy clothes I have as soon as go to better place

I'll be dropping mine eventually, but for now I'm just letting hormones work while I stay low key. I will however be ditching everything and doing some extreme hair removal within a couple years. Just taking it slow.

Quote from: flytrap on October 12, 2017, 08:04:04 AM
Our posts must have crossed in cyberspace, Allie24. I said right above this how much I rock boy clothes and nobody thinks I look like a guy when I wear them. I am 5'10" 146 pounds and totally get feeling awkward in super feminine clothing, how comfy guy stuf is, and how it makes me look smaller. It's not everybody's style, but I think a girl has to have alot of self confidence to wear boy clothes and not worry that people will think she is a guy.

Oops! I guess I has misunderstood it.

I agree though that you have to be ok getting misgendered if you dress this way. It happens even to cis women who wear masculine clothing & haircuts. The odd "he" or "sir" my slip out the the mouth of an unobservant individual.

Yup, you sort of have to let roll off your back when someone doesn't realize you are a girl. I usually only wear mascara and Cherry Chapstick so a barrette or some girly piece is usually all it takes to keep that from happening. Boy stuf really works with my Boho clothes and casual surfer girl style. No guy shoes, though, they make my size 10's look like Frankenstein feet!

It's funny the things people zero in on. Primary fits right in with all the other good old boys who have long hair here in the US South. LOL, up north he gets alot of stares and maam's even with his Van Dyke. Sometimes cashier's mistake me for a guy until they get a better look because I am tall. Rather than making a big deal out of it or embarrassing anyone, Primary and me both just ignore it til the person figures out their mistake.

How we think about ourselves and the clothes we wear may be reflected in the language we use.  Years ago when starting transition my pendulum swung with self liberation and i wore nothing but skirts and dresses for months.  Did that make me a woman?  Not in my estimation but it did free me from the tyranny of gendered clothing strictures.  Clothes don't make the man or the woman.  We all understand that a fascinating book might have a bland cover. 

Eventually my pendulum swung back toward the middle with the recognition that clothing designed for women is often flimsy, thin and impractical.  Being pragmatic it is clear that working outdoors or in any occupation where chiffon and high heels don't help we may be restricting ourselves to fit an appearance stereotype.

I applaud those who recognize their clothes need not be gendered and we can create our own styles to fit our individual tastes and needs.  IMHO we should all feel free to dress as we please and help ourselves throw off the shackles and dictates of the fashion industry and sycophantic fashionistas.  This is one way that our diversity is personally reflected as we can rock the rainbow of colors.  What are your true colors?

Quote from: flytrap on October 12, 2017, 12:45:16 PM
Yup, you sort of have to let roll off your back when someone doesn't realize you are a girl. I usually only wear mascara and Cherry Chapstick so a barrette or some girly piece is usually all it takes to keep that from happening. Boy stuf really works with my Boho clothes and casual surfer girl style. No guy shoes, though, they make my size 10's look like Frankenstein feet!

It's funny the things people zero in on. Primary fits right in with all the other good old boys who have long hair here in the US South. LOL, up north he gets alot of stares and maam's even with his Van Dyke. Sometimes cashier's mistake me for a guy until they get a better look because I am tall. Rather than making a big deal out of it or embarrassing anyone, Primary and me both just ignore it til the person figures out their mistake.

I def go for the whole "Riot Grrrl" look, because I am hopelessly in love with '90s fashion. So you'll generally see me wearing combat boots, dark/ripped skinny jeans, smokey eyes and Helena Bonham-Carter-level messed up hair.

I think some women, even cis women, just can't pull off high femme on a daily basis. And there's nothing wrong with that. We adapt and make due.

I have a lot of clothes that I LOVE. Cool jackets, sweaters... At first I thought I would get rid of all of it once I transitioned just because I thought I had to change everything...But I don't have to! There are a lot of cool items that I wanna keep and wear even when I start presenting female.

And the shirt on your avi looks great on you. I don't see a reason for you to throw away clothes that make you look good and girly regardless of which section of the store you bought it from.

There's a stage in transition where you think, "I'll keep that suit in case someone is getting married or buried."  Eventually you start thinking, "No way in hell I'd wear that, even for someone I loved."  That's when Goodwill gets some nice clothes.

My clothes are mostly gender neutral but i also wear baggy hip hop style stuff and suits that honestly make me look like an effeminate pimp. [emoji38]

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Sure, many of the labs I work in mandate DRAB for safety and my work clothing generally needs to be durable and practical, also functional pockets matter. Also for the moment I can't afford a new wardrobe and clothed is better than naked ... Well except for hanging at home :-).

One of my girlfriends has a really cool way of looking at it:
"Your choices double after you realize you can shop in the whole store for your clothes."

You'll take my band tour shirts from my cold dead hands!  ;D

I do! I still wear my boy shirts and vests, and a few band shirts. They were the only part of male clothing I actually liked, why should I throw them away? Still, I gave away tons of clothing....

Quote from: Allie24 on October 11, 2017, 07:05:32 PM
I feel like a bit of a minority on this site, seeing as how I have changed so little when I transitioned. My tomboyish qualities I have retained, with the addition of makeup and skirts/dresses for special occasions. Aside from that, I dress pretty much exactly as I did in high school (before my two-year stint of "playing it straight"). I have even kept a lot of my old clothes... the band t-shirts, and the big flannels...

Does anyone else continue wearing their "boy clothes"? Or is it just me? lol

I had a house fire post transition that burned all my old clothing ... records... pictures.. EVERYTHING I owned.  I called it my final purge (No I didn't start it..happened midnight christmas eve so family was all gone).

That being said I still wear 'drab' .. dumpy jeans, tshirts, when I'm out working in the garden or cleaning up around the shop/house.  Out in public though its very rare anymore for me to dress dumpy anymore.  Except when I'm in my gi, I consider that 'drab' too... but its a requirement for our class to wear it.   Oh well, the rest of the girls are too, so I don't feel so bad.

Sure, I still wear them. Like Jaden Pinkett-Smith says: "They are not girl-clothes or boy-clothes, they are just clothes"
I dress about 60-40 as boy-girl. By choice, the 'Whim of the day' sort of choice.

I'm a biker dyke with a love of pink  :o I do go " girl " sometimes too. Endless possibilities  ;)



Paula, X.

Nope. To my knowledge they were all put in garbage bags and donated to a value village.

  I still have a lot of my boy clothes, because I have not transitioned fully just yet.  Today is my 3 month mark of being on HRT, and I still mostly present as a funny dressing man still. ha ha  I have gradually added girls shirts and jeans and capris and things into my wardrobe that I can still mostly get away with wearing as a guy.  And I pretty much strictly wear womens clothes now, they are just not skirts and dresses just yet.   My wife teases me, because I pretty much will not wear anything from the mens section no matter how feminine it might look simply because it was made as "mens" clothing.  She keeps saying she is going to go to the mens section, find some cute shirt or jeans, and take the tag off, and sew the tag of womens clothes on it, and then I would wear it simply because I knew it was womens clothing.  ha ha  There is definitely some psychology involved there.

I use to not wear guy cloths as I'm done with transition and love dresses and skirts. But I like to raid my boyfriends closet sometimes and just wear his things.

Quote from: Allie24 on October 12, 2017, 07:41:26 AM
Yeah my clothes could also be considered gender neutral. The shirts are unisex, and the jeans, though fitted for women, are no different than the jeans I wore in high school (which were also fitted for women). In a sense I feel like I have cone full circle. That's why I don't really mind my high school photos, because I still look like a girl in them, just a very butch girl. I'm sure if I showed someone they wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

There's no such thing as "unisex" t-shirts. They are mens' cut (and therefore don't fit my body at all) but are marketed as for anyone. I'm the reverse of you.

I am transmasc, but I wear my women's clothes because I like them. I still shop for them and love lacy, sparkly, pretty underthings. I don't like most mens' fashions. I find them boring and limited in color and style. And I detest pants in general. I am wearing mens sweaters and tanks, but they end up looking femme because I pair them with denim skirts, and I'm busty and I don't bind. The result is a look that is more "Amazon woman" (more femme than butch) than gender neutral. But this fits me perfectly, since I'm bi-gender and like to express both sides of myself and I hate gender neutral concepts.

Quote from: Cailan Jerika on October 13, 2017, 01:44:00 PM
There's no such thing as "unisex" t-shirts. They are mens' cut (and therefore don't fit my body at all) but are marketed as for anyone. I'm the reverse of you.

I am transmasc, but I wear my women's clothes because I like them. I still shop for them and love lacy, sparkly, pretty underthings. I don't like most mens' fashions. I find them boring and limited in color and style. And I detest pants in general. I am wearing mens sweaters and tanks, but they end up looking femme because I pair them with denim skirts, and I'm busty and I don't bind. The result is a look that is more "Amazon woman" (more femme than butch) than gender neutral. But this fits me perfectly, since I'm bi-gender and like to express both sides of myself and I hate gender neutral concepts.

Really? I love the concept of gender neutrality. It leaves the door open for endless possibilities of expression regardless of sex or gender identity.

Quote from: Allie24 on October 13, 2017, 05:19:31 PM
Really? I love the concept of gender neutrality. It leaves the door open for endless possibilities of expression regardless of sex or gender identity.

I tend to think of myself as being more "super-binary" rather than non-binary. I exist on both ends of the gender spectrum. My bi-gender identities are  VERY masc and VERY femme. Sometimes I'm stuck in the middle, in a kind of mixed up dysphoric nightmare where I can't sort out who I am. Just seeing someone or something unisex or androgynous can trigger my dysphoria. Sometimes I can be in the middle and see both parts of me clearly and I'm okay because my two sides are distinct within me, but I feel that I need to choose one or the other for outward appearance. I generally choose femme, since I prefer the aesthetic. I've yet to find a masc appearance that I can pull off and not feel dysphoric due to not even being close to passing.

Quote from: Cailan Jerika on October 14, 2017, 05:49:51 PM
I tend to think of myself as being more "super-binary" rather than non-binary. I exist on both ends of the gender spectrum. My bi-gender identities are  VERY masc and VERY femme. Sometimes I'm stuck in the middle, in a kind of mixed up dysphoric nightmare where I can't sort out who I am. Just seeing someone or something unisex or androgynous can trigger my dysphoria. Sometimes I can be in the middle and see both parts of me clearly and I'm okay because my two sides are distinct within me, but I feel that I need to choose one or the other for outward appearance. I generally choose femme, since I prefer the aesthetic. I've yet to find a masc appearance that I can pull off and not feel dysphoric due to not even being close to passing.

Maybe it's the trying to sort it out that's the problem. Putting pressure on your self to tick off both boxes simultaenously and yet separately. It really does sound like a nightmare. Binaries and categories can be toxic entities. Sometimes they need to be shed before finding any peace.

I'm not sure how androgyny would trigger dysphoria though... I'd be interested to know why that is the case for you.

Quote from: Cailan Jerika on October 14, 2017, 05:49:51 PM
I've yet to find a masc appearance that I can pull off and not feel dysphoric due to not even being close to passing.

Have you heard about lolita? Cute girls in pretty old fashioned dresses. Well, someone has to take the lolis out for a walk...that when the kodona comes in! They are the dandy-esque girls that didn't want to put on a giant dress and wanted to date the lolis. There's also the male counterpart, the oujis. There's no difference aesthetically. I love both appearances. I usually go out in a modern kodona/ouji style, but I'm always looking for a nice pair of breeches to wear with stockings and look less modern. It can be feminine, masculine, or neutral. It's your choice. You could look at it. Just a suggestion.

Quote from: Allie24 on October 14, 2017, 07:33:30 PM
Maybe it's the trying to sort it out that's the problem. Putting pressure on your self to tick off both boxes simultaenously and yet separately. It really does sound like a nightmare. Binaries and categories can be toxic entities. Sometimes they need to be shed before finding any peace.

I'm not sure how androgyny would trigger dysphoria though... I'd be interested to know why that is the case for you.

Androgyny is a trigger for me because until January, I was trapped in a place where I didn't understand that I was trans, at age 47! I had never heard of non-binary, except applying to those who are either agender or androgyne, and only in the last few years. I would walk down the street in my overtly femme clothes (I haven't worn a pair of pants since about 1996 - skirts only!) and be utterly confused as to why I knew I was killing it, but felt that people were staring at me and about to call me out for being a fake. Also my body is more masculine than feminine - 5'9" with big feet, big hands, no hips, hirsute, and far more muscled than most women (yet my testosterone levels were female-normal; I had them checked because I was terribly insecure in my femininity).  But I hadn't a clue why I felt that way. I did know that anything that wasn't distinctly gendered male or female was terribly upsetting. Now I know it was because it triggered the uncertainty in my subconscious gender identity. Now anything non-gendered represents to me those 35 years when I was stuck in that miserable middle place with no clue why I was there or what it meant.

Now that I understand, my girl side is much happier and I can dress totally girly without that old insecurity, since I know my guy is in there and as long as I acknowledge and embrace that side of me. Now I'm waiting eagerly to get my abdominoplasty and panniculectomy, (because of a huge panniculus caused by 110 pounds of weight loss, pants don't fit) and give my inner guy his due.

I often combine old "boy" clothes with new "girl" clothes cos it provides more of a gradual change.