Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: MeTony on October 12, 2017, 12:47:49 AM Return to Full Version

Title: Sunday is the day
Post by: MeTony on October 12, 2017, 12:47:49 AM
Sunday is the day. I'll tell my husband I'm a guy. I'm off work on sunday and so is he. That does not happen very often, that both of us are off work at the same time.

I thought it is a good day to tell him. That I'm at home and can answer questions and comfort him if he crashes.  Instead of telling him in the morning and then I'm off for work. That's not a good way to do it.

My sister has been warned. He often calls her when he is in crisis. She is a good listener.

I am nervous but I am ready.

Wish me luck.


Tony
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: LizK on October 12, 2017, 04:45:32 AM
Hi Tony,
Good luck for Sunday, coming out at any stage is tough and I'm not sure that there is any perfect time to do it other than when you are ready.

I hope your husband is able to handle what you have to tell him in does not crash as you describe. I know when I spoke to my wife it took some time for her to process what it meant when I told her I was transsexual. What it did do is fill in a few of the blanks for her, stuff she could never quite understand about me.

Good luck and I hope it goes well please let us know how you go.
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Julia1996 on October 12, 2017, 06:15:19 AM
I'm a little confused. How can he not know you're a guy?? You look like a guy and you have a beard.
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Colleen_definitely on October 12, 2017, 06:35:36 AM
Good luck Tony, it might get a little weird but in the end it's our little rite of passage and worth it.

Quote from: Julia1996 on October 12, 2017, 06:15:19 AM
I'm a little confused. How can he not know you're a guy?? You look like a guy and you have a beard.

The power of computers my dear.
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Julia1996 on October 12, 2017, 06:39:14 AM
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on October 12, 2017, 06:35:36 AM
Good luck Tony, it might get a little weird but in the end it's our little rite of passage and worth it.

The power of computers my dear.
[/quote

Oh, ok. He used face app.  Well Tony I wish you good luck.
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: MeTony on October 12, 2017, 06:43:23 AM
Quote from: Julia1996 on October 12, 2017, 06:39:14 AM
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on October 12, 2017, 06:35:36 AM
Good luck Tony, it might get a little weird but in the end it's our little rite of passage and worth it.

The power of computers my dear.
[/quote

Oh, ok. He used face app.  Well Tony I wish you good luck.

Julia. There is a pic of me without beard in "casual business" thread.

Thank you all for the good luck wishes.
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Denise on October 12, 2017, 08:47:59 AM
Quote from: MeTonie on October 12, 2017, 12:47:49 AM
Sunday is the day. I'll tell my husband I'm a guy. I'm off work on sunday and so is he. That does not happen very often, that both of us are off work at the same time.

I thought it is a good day to tell him. That I'm at home and can answer questions and comfort him if he crashes.  Instead of telling him in the morning and then I'm off for work. That's not a good way to do it.

My sister has been warned. He often calls her when he is in crisis. She is a good listener.

I am nervous but I am ready.

Wish me luck.


Tony
The most important thing for you to consider is you've had years (decades?) to consider this.  He will have seconds and he will not understand your inner-turmoil.

Best of luck.  Be safe and keep us updated.


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Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Megan. on October 12, 2017, 08:59:45 AM
Sending wishes that it goes well for you Tony. X

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Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Gertrude on October 12, 2017, 11:08:00 AM
Is this going to be a surprise? He may not be totally caught off guard. I think the truth can work into the subconscious, but consciously, we avoid it. Good luck with your mission mr Phelps.


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Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Bari Jo on October 12, 2017, 11:12:35 AM
Good luck Tonie.  I can't wait to hear your success story afterwards.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Saira128 on October 12, 2017, 11:33:40 AM
All the best! Everything will go smoothly, don't worry.


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Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Laurie on October 12, 2017, 05:23:23 PM
Tonie,

   I too will join the chorus in wishing all goes well on Sunday.

Hugs,
   Laurie
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Kendra on October 12, 2017, 10:55:18 PM
Tony, definitely best wishes. 

I'd say just be yourself is the best but... well, that is exactly what you are about to do!   ;)
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: MeTony on October 14, 2017, 12:29:59 PM
I told my mom today.

She started laughing. She said "You have never been a girl or woman."

I told her if my husband throws me out tomorrow, I'll come to her. She said I was welcome but she did not think he would. That he must have seen the obvious. But I'm not so sure he has.

I asked why people have not said anything when it is so obvious. She told me "you don't tell people they are born in the wrong sex". Doooh.
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Megan. on October 14, 2017, 12:36:20 PM
Glad it went well with your mum,  good luck for tomrrow.

Why are we often the last to know! Haha

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Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: MeTony on October 15, 2017, 04:24:45 AM
OMG!!

I told my husband! He said he is not surprised. He said I am a guy. I did not get the reaction I expected at all!

Sexchange can be a problem though. He is not gay. He was worried I'd only like girls from now on. But I'm pan, I like everyone.
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Megan. on October 15, 2017, 04:36:39 AM
Totally fab! Sooo happy for you. X

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Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: The Flying Lemur on October 15, 2017, 05:50:51 AM
I'm so happy that your coming out is going well, Tony!  May you continue to have the best of luck!
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Colleen_definitely on October 15, 2017, 08:35:35 AM
Tony, after seeing your pics in the business casual thread, I don't see how ANYONE can be truly surprised by you coming out.

I am really happy to hear that things went as well as they did.  Hopefully you two can work out some sort of arrangement without things getting messy.
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: MeTony on October 15, 2017, 08:38:04 AM
I am propably more obvious than I realize myself. My "big secret" has been read like an open book. Haha
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Megan. on October 15, 2017, 09:06:50 AM
Quote from: MeTonie on October 15, 2017, 08:38:04 AM
I am propably more obvious than I realize myself. My "big secret" has been read like an open book. Haha
I'd expect that will make things easier,  not many people be greatly surprised. I was the opposite,  no one had the vaguest clue hehe.

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Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Bari Jo on October 15, 2017, 09:54:31 AM
Congrats Tonie, glad everything is working out!
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Laurie on October 15, 2017, 10:01:33 AM
Good start Tonie I hope it continues in this vein.
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: Kendra on October 15, 2017, 10:25:34 AM
Congratulations!
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: MeTony on October 15, 2017, 02:30:05 PM
Thank you all for the congratulations :)
Title: Re: Sunday is the day
Post by: HappyMoni on October 15, 2017, 04:02:53 PM
Fantastic Tony, I love when good people get good news.
Monica