Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: Sinead on October 18, 2017, 04:33:34 PM Return to Full Version

Title: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Sinead on October 18, 2017, 04:33:34 PM
Hi guys. Before even considering living as a woman full time, I want to learn how do make up, get a decent wig, learn how to pass, get laser surgery and learn how to act feminine.

I'm just curious, when did you start living full time as a woman? Did you wait until HRT? Did you do it before then? Did you wait till you passed before living as a woman full time? How long had you realised you were transgender before making the choice as living as the opposite gender full time?
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Megan. on October 18, 2017, 04:59:09 PM
Hi Nina,  I'm in the UK,  and going through the NHS GIC pretty much mandates going full-time before HRT, or at best at the same time.
I had done some facial hair removal,  but I'm still at it.
Passing is a very individual thing,  voice and mannerisms can be practiced,  but until full-time it's hard to get these fully perfected.
I made sure I could do a solid basic daily-wear makeup, and simply style my hair,  so I could look presentable and professional in my workplace.
The reality is most girls spend literally years as teenagers practicing this stuff,  we have to pick it up quick,  so identify what you might need early on and focus on that. X

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Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Laurie on October 18, 2017, 09:05:15 PM
    Living full time kind of sneaked up on me. I took this little road trip and had left home dressed as Laurie aka myself. I had only intended making it to Denver area in female mode as I hadn't been out in public more that 6 time prior to this. But by the time I returned home a month later I had changed into male clothes only twice and had met 9 wonderful sisters from Susan's along the way. As I got closer to home I could think of no good reason to resume my pseudo male life. I count my full time date as the last time I changed out of male clothing on June 26, 2017.

Hugs,
   Laurie
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Tammy Jade on October 18, 2017, 09:12:20 PM
I consider my fist day at work as Tamara, the day I went full time.

It was liberating to go to work and be called my new name and pro nouns and to be able to go to work as me.

Ironically I'm terrible with dates but it was Mid August this year (2017)


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Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Dani on October 18, 2017, 09:21:38 PM
I just kind of gradually eased into full time. I went from male to androgynous to female within one year. It just happened and people started calling me Miss  more often than not. I really cannot give you a single date.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Julia1996 on October 19, 2017, 07:00:29 AM
I went full time as soon as I finished high school. I had already been on hrt for a year. I didn't have to learn female behavior because it's just my nature. But before I transitioned, female behavior caused me a lot of grief!
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: LizK on October 19, 2017, 07:23:06 AM
Hi Nina

I went fulltime about 6 or so months earlier than I had planned...I had been on HRT about 8 months. I was attending anywhere I thought of as a "safe space" as Liz. These were places like my Psych and Psychologist, My Specialist Dr and my GP as examples.

I very quickly got tired of flip flopping presentations depending on who I was out to and where I was going. So I talked it over with my wife and we both agreed I may as well finish coming out and then go fulltime, but to make sure I sorted out my Name changes out before hand and had some legal ID.

I wasn't great with makeup nor fashion, nor voice but all those things I have worked on. I can now do my basic makeup in about 30 minutes to a level that is certainly reasonable but continues to improve. My voice is good enough for to make a difference now

Passing requires context, where do you want to pass? Being examined by a Dr or sitting in your car waiting to the lights to change. Are you thinking late night partying at a nightclub or going to the supermarket to buy bread and milk....

Whilst it is the toughest thing I have ever done in my life the rewards make it all well worth it. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Devlyn on October 19, 2017, 11:00:10 AM
Quote from: NinaW on October 18, 2017, 04:33:34 PM
...I'm just curious, when did you start living full time as a woman?

At age 53.

QuoteDid you wait until HRT? Did you do it before then?

I started HRT at 55, I had used herbals for a few years before that.

QuoteDid you wait till you passed before living as a woman full time?

I can't really answer that, I'm non-binary.

QuoteHow long had you realised you were transgender before making the choice as living as the opposite gender full time?

About eight years.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: KathyLauren on October 19, 2017, 08:19:51 PM
Quote from: NinaW on October 18, 2017, 04:33:34 PM
Did you wait until HRT?
Yes, I was 3 months on HRT when I went full-time.
QuoteDid you wait till you passed before living as a woman full time?
No.  I don't pass, and probably won't ever.
QuoteHow long had you realised you were transgender before making the choice as living as the opposite gender full time?
A bit more than a year.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Complete on October 19, 2017, 08:32:02 PM
I went f/t as soon as l had fully recovered from srs. By then l had been of heavy doses of female hormones for about two years.  Prior to my srs l was masquerading male.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Zumbagirl on October 20, 2017, 08:26:16 AM
I timed it with FFS surgery and having completed roughly 120 hours of electrolysis on my face. By that point I could go from week to week without needing to put a razor on my face. Reality dealt me a serious blow when at the time of going full time I was fired from my job, but I went ahead with everything anyways. The next day I filed my name change in court and moved up my FFS date since I had plenty of time. A few weeks later I was changing all of my documentation. That was full time to me, the day when I left the past in the dust.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Lady Lisandra on October 20, 2017, 10:07:16 AM
I went full time about 8 months after starting HRT. During those months I went from male, to effeminate guy/ androgyne. People started gendering me female, and most of my family already knew. On last new year's eve I came out to what was left of my family and changed my Facebook name. I've been living as Lis since then.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Barb99 on October 20, 2017, 12:20:53 PM
Quote...I'm just curious, when did you start living full time as a woman?

At 60

   
QuoteDid you wait until HRT? Did you do it before then?

Started HRT at 59, I went full time 8 months later.

QuoteDid you wait till you passed before living as a woman full time?

No

QuoteHow long had you realized you were transgender before making the choice as living as the opposite gender full time?

40 years.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: davina61 on October 20, 2017, 04:42:46 PM
TBH sort of full time since the wife kicked me out beginning of this year, only worn male clothes once to my grandsons Christening . Off course being old and bald no way of passing but its taken me 50 years to get here and almost starting to go full time as Davina (waiting for decent wigs and name change) but not expecting to pass ever but to old to give a s**t now. Maybe in4 years after HRT and GRS  for when I retire . Lots of older females around here look manish and look like they have raided there husbands wardrobe
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: SiobhánF on January 10, 2018, 06:38:22 PM
This is exactly the thread that I needed to read, today. I've been having anxiety about how I should go about it. My neighbors only know me as Brian and not en femme. I truly want to make a good effort to make my transition as painless as possible. I know I can't pass completely, face to face, but I would at least like to ease in my transition for others around me before I begin full-time presentation. My goal is to be able to pass as female, regardless of what I am wearing. I don't know when I'll be able to begin HRT, but I have a referral to see an endo in April (why so long? I don't get why there's such a waiting list). Here's hoping that there are a few cancellations that will put me closer to my first appointment.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: AnnMarie2017 on January 11, 2018, 03:37:07 AM
I'm addressing the question on the subject line, because I'm just now on the cusp.

When I first came out to myself, I planned to wait until I passed before going full-time -- meaning until I had had FFS & VFS, which I didn't know when I would be able to afford. I was so innocent. :)

I started changing little things in my presentation almost immediately. From time to time, I would find that I had to increase it; I didn't really have a choice. I mean, I *could* have resisted it, I suppose, at a cost to my own emotional well-being. I needed it -- I needed to express my femininity.

Eventually, I crossed some sort of line because people started giving me looks. But by that time I had built up a well of self-confidence. I was able to go out in public with a presentation that would have terrified me in the beginning.

I'm changing my name this month. Most of the people I deal with on a regular basis know me by my female name already, the one exception being my boss at my full-time job. When I get the paperwork, new ID and new SS card, I'll let him know then, at the latest. Just recently, I began going out more regularly in full female mode. Believe it or not, being clumsy with wigs and makeup have been as much of a disincentive as social anxiety; but recently I just bit the bullet and did it anyway. Just today, I went shopping at a big box store, wearing a denim outfit, boots with heels and showing my figure (I usually wear a sports bra). Now, I clearly don't pass; no one who looks at me mistakes me for cis. But one of the male employees addressed me as "ma'am" anyway. What a sweetie. :)

Maybe you'll be like me and just find you have no choice. Make it easy on yourself by starting now and starting slow. I think it will make it easier, when that day comes.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: SiobhánF on January 11, 2018, 03:40:24 PM
That's awesome Ann! I've already begun wearing women's jeans and sometimes women's shirts. I think I'll start wearing bb cream or foundation and some mascara, soon. I really need to start laser on my face.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Michelle_P on January 11, 2018, 03:53:51 PM
I had PLANNED on going full time after at least a year on HRT, "completing" electrolysis, and preferably after Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS).

Woman plans, Goddess laughs.

I went full time the evening I moved out of the house at the request of my ex.  I dropped off a box with the last of his clothes at Goodwill, and I haven't looked back since then.

I had about 5 months of HRT and 6 months of electrolysis, nowhere near enough clothing, no furniture, and a subcompact convertible as my worldly goods.  I was promised that I would lose all my friends and family, and would be alone.

Nope.

I remained president of the amateur radio club, a bastion of older suburban males with a trans woman standing in front chairing meetings and leading in the Pledge of Allegiance.  I joined a church that had guiding principles that matched mine (Unitarian Universalist). I'm active there and a bit of an activist as well.  I made new friends that have never known me as anything but Michelle.  I joined a transwomens social support group.

I just got back from seeing "Lady Bird" with a couple of women I've known for a year. We had lunch after the film, a pleasant conversation, no drama, just girls talk. Full time life suits me well.
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Shy on January 12, 2018, 04:15:30 AM
I've been living full time for a year now barring a few little hiccups that we all seem to get. I'm pre HRT, pre any sort of anything really other than just allowing myself to be myself.

I found a salon that helped my with my makeup and hair, I also have had a few drug store makeovers. Eyebrows I get threaded once a month, other than that it's just a matter of exploring what you like.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: Ashley1212 on January 12, 2018, 12:12:10 PM
I had came out to my family and work knew that I was transitioning. I had been on HRT for 8 months. My plan was to have FFS and change my name legally during my time off. So I had surgery and took a couple of weeks off.  Before I left for surgery I submitted my paper work for the courts and it worked out perfectly. After that I was full time and legally had everything changed.

Ashley
Title: Re: When did you decide to start living full time?
Post by: SiobhánF on January 12, 2018, 06:00:03 PM
Ashley... Ashley. Your shirt is awesome. I want your shirt. lol