Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: zamber74 on October 22, 2017, 12:39:18 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Sometimes I look at my reflection, and I see a woman looking back
Post by: zamber74 on October 22, 2017, 12:39:18 PM
Post by: zamber74 on October 22, 2017, 12:39:18 PM
I've noticed this a few times in the past couple of weeks, it is nothing significant, more like feminine features than a full blown woman. I like it though, I try to imagine what I would look like if I went through electrolysis, started to take HRT, grew my hair out more, and so on.
I don't know if I would ever pass, but even just noticing smaller things makes me happier. Earlier today I was thinking about it, how weird it all is, why this has such an impact on me, why I can't just be happy with my body being male, and of course, as usual I drew blanks, ultimately though I feel more comfortable with myself when I notice feminine features.
I started to think about how even if I were the only person on the face of this Earth, I would rather be a woman than a man, whatever this is, it goes beyond societal roles assigned to each gender, it is not quite explainable to me, but I want to be a woman.
I think on a mental level, this is a significant step though. By seeing such features in the mirror, it shows I am becoming more accepting of myself as a woman. For a long time, I've held on to a notion that it is impossible, that I can never be a woman, that I have been tarnished in life, and I do not even deserve it because it would be a betrayal to people. It gets pretty complicated, but if I am able to see feminine features in the mirror, it surely means on some level I am progressing.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
I don't know if I would ever pass, but even just noticing smaller things makes me happier. Earlier today I was thinking about it, how weird it all is, why this has such an impact on me, why I can't just be happy with my body being male, and of course, as usual I drew blanks, ultimately though I feel more comfortable with myself when I notice feminine features.
I started to think about how even if I were the only person on the face of this Earth, I would rather be a woman than a man, whatever this is, it goes beyond societal roles assigned to each gender, it is not quite explainable to me, but I want to be a woman.
I think on a mental level, this is a significant step though. By seeing such features in the mirror, it shows I am becoming more accepting of myself as a woman. For a long time, I've held on to a notion that it is impossible, that I can never be a woman, that I have been tarnished in life, and I do not even deserve it because it would be a betrayal to people. It gets pretty complicated, but if I am able to see feminine features in the mirror, it surely means on some level I am progressing.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
Title: Re: Sometimes I look at my reflection, and I see a woman looking back
Post by: The Flying Lemur on October 22, 2017, 12:52:40 PM
Post by: The Flying Lemur on October 22, 2017, 12:52:40 PM
I'm glad to hear that some of your dysphoria is fading. Here's hoping that as time goes on, whatever you choose to do, it continues to diminish.
I wish I saw masculine features in myself. True, I'm not the most feminine guy in the world, but I'm not in any way rugged-looking. I keep hoping T will help with that, but as with everyone it'll be a bit of a crap shoot.
I wish I saw masculine features in myself. True, I'm not the most feminine guy in the world, but I'm not in any way rugged-looking. I keep hoping T will help with that, but as with everyone it'll be a bit of a crap shoot.
Title: Re: Sometimes I look at my reflection, and I see a woman looking back
Post by: Brenda3156 on October 22, 2017, 06:43:25 PM
Post by: Brenda3156 on October 22, 2017, 06:43:25 PM
I experienced the same things you are before I knew what being transgender was and that I was transgender. Not everyone who has these feelings is transgender. My next step was to go to a therapist that specializes in gender issues and discuss it with them. They helped me further explore myself and figure out the meaning of the feelings. Being happy in your life is the goal.
Title: Re: Sometimes I look at my reflection, and I see a woman looking back
Post by: SoupSarah on October 22, 2017, 08:37:30 PM
Post by: SoupSarah on October 22, 2017, 08:37:30 PM
Hi,
I'm glad your pleased with what you see. HRT helps a little too, so does getting better at the fundamentals of make-up. I look in the mirror and just get mixed messages - probably never pass really.
Good luck with where-ever this takes you.
Sarah xx
I'm glad your pleased with what you see. HRT helps a little too, so does getting better at the fundamentals of make-up. I look in the mirror and just get mixed messages - probably never pass really.
Good luck with where-ever this takes you.
Sarah xx
Title: Re: Sometimes I look at my reflection, and I see a woman looking back
Post by: JoanneB on October 23, 2017, 08:06:29 PM
Post by: JoanneB on October 23, 2017, 08:06:29 PM
Once you slowly begin to accept you for who and what you really are, you will also slowly see yourself that way.
I know it is a "Bad" day when I see the "Sad Old Man" looking back at me in the mirror. Most days, even in full naked male mode, I see Joanne
I know it is a "Bad" day when I see the "Sad Old Man" looking back at me in the mirror. Most days, even in full naked male mode, I see Joanne
Title: Re: Sometimes I look at my reflection, and I see a woman looking back
Post by: Ajessica250 on October 23, 2017, 08:58:18 PM
Post by: Ajessica250 on October 23, 2017, 08:58:18 PM
When I was younger I always thought I saw a girl looking back at me in the mirror. As puberty hit, no longer did I see myself the same way. Although I was dressing up and standing in front of mirrors all the time I never saw that same girl looking back at me. It was not until recently and only after about six months of HRT that I seen that girl again.
Title: Re: Sometimes I look at my reflection, and I see a woman looking back
Post by: Dani2118 on October 24, 2017, 10:22:06 PM
Post by: Dani2118 on October 24, 2017, 10:22:06 PM
When I was a teen I just saw sad eyes looking back. As I got older they just got sadder so I didn't look too often. You see, when I was a teen I looked like my Grandmother. Now transitioning the sadness is about gone but so is Grandmother. For a while it was old man I saw, but with the sadness going away I'm seeing Mom! When I got new glasses Wham, huge change! Now I see the woman in me again :) :) :) Now all I need is my hair back!!! And for the first time in 36yrs. my glasses finally fit, they're women's frames. That and some makeup make me look like an old librarian, and I love her very much thank you!