Susan's Place Transgender Resources

As if the stress from school and all of this isnt enough my dad is theatening me saying how hes been doing drugs and is thinking about suicide saying its all my fault..... this is stupid i knew i should have never told him anything.

Heyy,

Don't worry your not, well completely, alone..

My parents are extremely unsupportive of my 'decision' (what they have decided to finally call it rather than 'phase').

They aren't going as far as suicide though..

Sorry if this message wasn't helpful..

Hugs!
Katie

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My dad was unsupportive. I sent him a text after I came out explaining how him misgendering makes me feel and he then stops and now tolerates me. Sometimes in life you have to do things with no family support. It's hard but worth it. Show your dad the true you and that he won't beat you. Wear the clothes that make you most comfortable. Get the hairstyle you've always wanted. Find support groups. Find a therapist who specialises in helping trans patients.

Sounds like he's guilt-tripping you. Parents tend to do this, but talking about suicide takes it too far. Try to find support in your friends and therapist, and if possible, just don't tell your parents what your plans are.

Being Trans we are naturally filled with a TON of Shame & Guilt. Our first instinct is Blame Ourselves for whatever anyone thinks or says. They RULE our lives and we allow them too because of this (sick) need to assure ourselves it really IS our fault why the world totally sucks. Add into the mix a loved one that that blames us for the ills of the world (or theirs) and we willfully cooperate out of this "Need" to feed the Shame.

Quote from: Iamlost on October 23, 2017, 05:12:26 PM
As if the stress from school and all of this isnt enough my dad is theatening me saying how hes been doing drugs and is thinking about suicide saying its all my fault..... this is stupid i knew i should have never told him anything.

I would suggest telling him he is responsible for his own choices and that you will not let him manipulate you or use you as an excuse for his bad behavior. It is absolutely not your fault, and he needs to grow the hell up.

Quote from: Daisy Jane on October 24, 2017, 05:05:42 AM
I would suggest telling him he is responsible for his own choices and that you will not let him manipulate you or use you as an excuse for his bad behavior. It is absolutely not your fault, and he needs to grow the hell up.

This is great advice. Your drug using dad obviously has other issues causing his suicidal thoughts. This is self-absorbed manipulation of the worst kind. My dad, who didn't even take prescription drugs or drink, committed suicide on August 13. One brother was ready to blame me for being transgender as the reason, and asked me if I came out to our dad the day prior to his suicide in a drunken 4:30 am phone call. I was the last family member to speak to my dad the day before his death. I never disclosed anything to my dad, and his note claimed other reasons. Don't let him put you on a guilt trip.
My heart goes out to you as you deal with unfair treatment.

There is one thing that common throughout humanity, and that is that each and every individual is responsible for their own feelings and beliefs.  You are not responsible for your father's feelings and he is not responsible for yours.  One is not dependant on the other.  He needs to accept that no matter how he feels on the subject, only you know how you feel.  Feelings are facts, and he can't change those facts.

Quote from: Iamlost on October 23, 2017, 05:12:26 PM
As if the stress from school and all of this isnt enough my dad is theatening me saying how hes been doing drugs and is thinking about suicide saying its all my fault..... this is stupid i knew i should have never told him anything.

I think your father needs to talk with a therapist. 

Quote from: Tommie_9 on October 24, 2017, 05:30:26 AM
This is great advice. Your drug using dad obviously has other issues causing his suicidal thoughts. This is self-absorbed manipulation of the worst kind. My dad, who didn't even take prescription drugs or drink, committed suicide on August 13. One brother was ready to blame me for being transgender as the reason, and asked me if I came out to our dad the day prior to his suicide in a drunken 4:30 am phone call. I was the last family member to speak to my dad the day before his death. I never disclosed anything to my dad, and his note claimed other reasons. Don't let him put you on a guilt trip.
My heart goes out to you as you deal with unfair treatment.

That's terrible.  Did your brother apologize to you after?  There are so many jerks in this world.

Paige :)

One thing I wanna say: its not your fault. its never your fault. this is your dads issue and obviously needs to sort out his emotions in a healthy way