Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Christine H on October 29, 2017, 11:47:57 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Sequencing?
Post by: Christine H on October 29, 2017, 11:47:57 PM
Post by: Christine H on October 29, 2017, 11:47:57 PM
As a newbie, I welcome perspective on sequencing - FFS, Electrolysis/laser hair removal, HRT, other physical before GCS ???, and ultmately GCS.
I want to move forward to me, but want to learn from other girls' experiences, please?
Thank you!
Chris
I want to move forward to me, but want to learn from other girls' experiences, please?
Thank you!
Chris
Title: Re: Sequencing?
Post by: Dena on October 29, 2017, 11:52:55 PM
Post by: Dena on October 29, 2017, 11:52:55 PM
Hair removal yesterday. It will take a year at least and it's difficult to pass with a beard. HRT when you are ready for it. FFS would depend on if you need it. HRT might do enough so you don't need FFS so you might want to be on HRT for a while before deciding on FFS. Many of us including me have never had it but it's a personal decision. After a year of RLE and HRT you are eligible for GCS.
Title: Re: Sequencing?
Post by: rmaddy on October 30, 2017, 12:15:36 AM
Post by: rmaddy on October 30, 2017, 12:15:36 AM
What Dena said, except that you may choose to do GCS before FFS. FFS is a really hard recovery, I'm discovering.
Title: Re: Sequencing?
Post by: Dani on October 30, 2017, 04:14:39 AM
Post by: Dani on October 30, 2017, 04:14:39 AM
The only things I had done prior to GCS are genital electrolysis and HRT for a year. I eventually got FFS, facial electrolysis and a few other procedures. I do recommend clearing the genital area of hair before GCS. Trying to clear that area after GCS is almost impossible.
HRT for one year is a requirement almost all surgeons insist before GCS. Everything else is optional. Most of us need other things done and the fortunate few need nothing else done. It just depends on what is important to you and when you can finance these procedures.
HRT for one year is a requirement almost all surgeons insist before GCS. Everything else is optional. Most of us need other things done and the fortunate few need nothing else done. It just depends on what is important to you and when you can finance these procedures.
Title: Re: Sequencing?
Post by: Denise on October 30, 2017, 07:32:06 AM
Post by: Denise on October 30, 2017, 07:32:06 AM
Christine,
There is a thread that Bari Jo started (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229860.msg2041836.html#msg2041836 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229860.msg2041836.html#msg2041836)) that people responded to "what order do/did you do stuff".
A few months back I started a thread (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229564.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229564.0.html)) titled "Anniversaries or important dates" where people posted dates of when they had taken another step. It will give you the timeline for a few of who who are well along the path.
The consensus is that there is no consensus. Everyone does stuff at their own pace and people do what's important to them. My dysphoria is not centered "below the belt". It's in two places (Okay three :) ).
My order was good for me:
Therapy/coming out/adjusting/making new friends/support... for a year,
HRT (with a false start for 2 months and a 4 month gap)
Then after restarting HRT (and I'll never stop again!)...
Laser (3-7 months)
Full-time (5 months)
Voice (6-9 months - should have started sooner!)
Breast Augmentation (363 days after starting HRT which is TOMORROW!)
FFS (hopefully in the winter/spring which is the 15-18 month mark)
GCS (not scheduled but probably between 24 and 36 months)
There is a thread that Bari Jo started (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229860.msg2041836.html#msg2041836 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229860.msg2041836.html#msg2041836)) that people responded to "what order do/did you do stuff".
A few months back I started a thread (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229564.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229564.0.html)) titled "Anniversaries or important dates" where people posted dates of when they had taken another step. It will give you the timeline for a few of who who are well along the path.
The consensus is that there is no consensus. Everyone does stuff at their own pace and people do what's important to them. My dysphoria is not centered "below the belt". It's in two places (Okay three :) ).
My order was good for me:
Therapy/coming out/adjusting/making new friends/support... for a year,
HRT (with a false start for 2 months and a 4 month gap)
Then after restarting HRT (and I'll never stop again!)...
Laser (3-7 months)
Full-time (5 months)
Voice (6-9 months - should have started sooner!)
Breast Augmentation (363 days after starting HRT which is TOMORROW!)
FFS (hopefully in the winter/spring which is the 15-18 month mark)
GCS (not scheduled but probably between 24 and 36 months)
Title: Re: Sequencing?
Post by: Sophia Sage on October 30, 2017, 03:14:55 PM
Post by: Sophia Sage on October 30, 2017, 03:14:55 PM
Depends on what you want out of all this. For me, eliciting female gendering from myself and others without getting clocked (passing 100% of the time) was a priority, so my sequencing reflected this.
Stage 1: Therapy, Electrolysis, Voice, Support group
-- Therapy was to make sure I wasn't making a mistake, and to get letters.
-- Electrolysis is more likely to take two years, start now, beard shadow is no good
-- I can't emphasize how important voice is. I would have stopped if I could get my voice down. As it is, it took six months to find my voice, which took a lot of practice and unpleasant feedback (the main thing is to record what you practice and experiment with, and that can be dysphoria inducing).
-- I found support group very important not just for being able to relate to other people going through what I was going through, but as a place to be gendered correctly as a matter of course.
Stage 2: HRT, Wardrobe, Coming out
-- HRT helps with skin appearance and fat deposits, not to mention growing breasts
-- At this point I was ready to start investing in some clothes
-- It can take a good month or two to get really good at doing your makeup
-- I only came out to family and friends, not at work. See Stage 5 for more on this.
-- This is when I started RLE, too, except at work. I refused to jeopardize my income source until surgeries were paid.
Stage 3: Facial Surgery
-- At about 16 months into transition I had my whole face done -- scalp advancement, brow, nose, chin, jaw, and trachea. Best money I ever spent. Unless you're very lucky (5% maybe?) plan on FFS if you want to pass consistently. HRT will not remove a brow ridge or change any of your bony structures.
-- Plan on several weeks of recovery, and several months of general fatigue.
Stage 4: SRS / BAS
-- At 2 years into transition I had the last of my surgeries.
Stage 5: Practicing Non-Disclosure
-- Here's the other thing to consider, what many call "going stealth." The main thing about this is that a lot of us find that just the *story* of transition can get you misgendered. So I don't tell, and no one has asked. This was the other main reason for not coming out at work, to limit the number of people who could spread the story.
If non-disclosure is in the cards for you, prepare for moving to a new city and getting a new career; use only references that will respect your correct name and gender. Don't write about your transition on social media; set up new social media accounts for your new name, and don't link them to anyone who already knows you.
If you can relocate to a temporary city for your transition, maybe find a place where name changes can be done without being published in the local paper. Do make sure all your official documentation everywhere is updated -- social security, passport, credit cards, etc -- and note that some things take bottom surgery to update. Rent a UPS box and have all your mail forward there for a year, so that you can catch other accounts that you might have forgotten about without seeing "deadname" at an inopportune time.
Finally, it can take a couple years to determine if non-disclosure is right for you. It's easy to switch from non-disclosure to being out -- all you have to do is "come out" again -- but it's not so easy to maintain your privacy once you're out.
Stage 1: Therapy, Electrolysis, Voice, Support group
-- Therapy was to make sure I wasn't making a mistake, and to get letters.
-- Electrolysis is more likely to take two years, start now, beard shadow is no good
-- I can't emphasize how important voice is. I would have stopped if I could get my voice down. As it is, it took six months to find my voice, which took a lot of practice and unpleasant feedback (the main thing is to record what you practice and experiment with, and that can be dysphoria inducing).
-- I found support group very important not just for being able to relate to other people going through what I was going through, but as a place to be gendered correctly as a matter of course.
Stage 2: HRT, Wardrobe, Coming out
-- HRT helps with skin appearance and fat deposits, not to mention growing breasts
-- At this point I was ready to start investing in some clothes
-- It can take a good month or two to get really good at doing your makeup
-- I only came out to family and friends, not at work. See Stage 5 for more on this.
-- This is when I started RLE, too, except at work. I refused to jeopardize my income source until surgeries were paid.
Stage 3: Facial Surgery
-- At about 16 months into transition I had my whole face done -- scalp advancement, brow, nose, chin, jaw, and trachea. Best money I ever spent. Unless you're very lucky (5% maybe?) plan on FFS if you want to pass consistently. HRT will not remove a brow ridge or change any of your bony structures.
-- Plan on several weeks of recovery, and several months of general fatigue.
Stage 4: SRS / BAS
-- At 2 years into transition I had the last of my surgeries.
Stage 5: Practicing Non-Disclosure
-- Here's the other thing to consider, what many call "going stealth." The main thing about this is that a lot of us find that just the *story* of transition can get you misgendered. So I don't tell, and no one has asked. This was the other main reason for not coming out at work, to limit the number of people who could spread the story.
If non-disclosure is in the cards for you, prepare for moving to a new city and getting a new career; use only references that will respect your correct name and gender. Don't write about your transition on social media; set up new social media accounts for your new name, and don't link them to anyone who already knows you.
If you can relocate to a temporary city for your transition, maybe find a place where name changes can be done without being published in the local paper. Do make sure all your official documentation everywhere is updated -- social security, passport, credit cards, etc -- and note that some things take bottom surgery to update. Rent a UPS box and have all your mail forward there for a year, so that you can catch other accounts that you might have forgotten about without seeing "deadname" at an inopportune time.
Finally, it can take a couple years to determine if non-disclosure is right for you. It's easy to switch from non-disclosure to being out -- all you have to do is "come out" again -- but it's not so easy to maintain your privacy once you're out.
Title: Re: Sequencing?
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2017, 03:23:33 PM
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2017, 03:23:33 PM
Whatever sequence your heart desires. :)
I started living full time, then changed my name, followed by hrt, then an orchiectomy.
Hugs, Devlyn
I started living full time, then changed my name, followed by hrt, then an orchiectomy.
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Sequencing?
Post by: Christine H on October 30, 2017, 08:53:16 PM
Post by: Christine H on October 30, 2017, 08:53:16 PM
Thank you all so much! A Lot to think about ...
Chris
Chris
Title: Re: Sequencing?
Post by: Christine H on November 02, 2017, 09:50:21 PM
Post by: Christine H on November 02, 2017, 09:50:21 PM
Denise,
Thank you for pointing me to the other threads - I wrote before I searched, sorry to all. I think I was looking for the "magic bullet" but know understand that it just has to be me.
I'm only out to myself and my therapist - that alone is a tremendous relief. Given that I'm in a rural/agricultural environment, I can be part femme (undergarments, jeans) with a Carhartt, 2-pocket flannel shirt and steel-toed boots providing effective camouflage.
I am thinking I'll start what sounds like the slow work of electrolysis and move to pursue HRT since a couple of years of both will put me in a place to effectively be ready to address FFS and GCS.
I've been getting confused by the chicken-egg challenge, but you and the broader group have helped me start to develop a program for me.
Thank you. Also please bonk me on the head (you and everyone else) if I'm thinking about this the wrong way.
Best to all,
Christine
Thank you for pointing me to the other threads - I wrote before I searched, sorry to all. I think I was looking for the "magic bullet" but know understand that it just has to be me.
I'm only out to myself and my therapist - that alone is a tremendous relief. Given that I'm in a rural/agricultural environment, I can be part femme (undergarments, jeans) with a Carhartt, 2-pocket flannel shirt and steel-toed boots providing effective camouflage.
I am thinking I'll start what sounds like the slow work of electrolysis and move to pursue HRT since a couple of years of both will put me in a place to effectively be ready to address FFS and GCS.
I've been getting confused by the chicken-egg challenge, but you and the broader group have helped me start to develop a program for me.
Thank you. Also please bonk me on the head (you and everyone else) if I'm thinking about this the wrong way.
Best to all,
Christine